Sorry this took so long to post! 4th of July got crazy, then I got writer's block but it's all good now :)

Thanks to everyone who reviewed/favorited/alerted this story! Everything seems like a big deal to me haha

WARNING: Some language (because there is no way Puck doesn't cuss), implied teenage sex, and I don't think this chapter is as good as my first.

DISCLAIMER:I own nothing. If I owned Glee, Funk wouldn't have made me want to stop watching. Will + Sue = CREEPY. Also, I don't own the song, although I changed the lyrics a tiny bit to fit the story.


Puck is a stud.

He knows it, Santana knows it, hell, anyone who's ever met him knows it. Well, they did until he got his fucking Mohawk shaved. Not. Cool. And that stunt with Toyota or Chevrolet or whatever that black chick from Glee's name was did help a little… until she had the balls to dump him. What the hell was wrong with him? First Berry, now black chick from Glee… he was losing his edge.

Yeah, he loved Quinn and stuff, but it's hard not to love someone when you watch them shove your kid out of their vagina. And now that she was losing the baby weight, Quinn was the definition of MILF. (Did she hate it when he called her that? Yeah. Did he do it anyways? Hell, yeah!)

It wasn't like Puck wasn't getting laid. There was always some girl at a party willing to take a ride on the Puckasaurus Express, and it was always the ride of their lives. Cougars were into some crazy shit sometimes, but they taught him a lot, and he used that knowledge to his full advantage. Santana was always up for a quickie in a janitor's closet, or one extremely memorable time in the Cheerios! locker room… but she refused to share Brittany with him. Not that Britt hadn't spent her fair share of time with her fingers holding onto his 'hawk for dear life, but Santana wouldn't do a threesome. Which totally blew, because while Brittany was hot, and Santana was even more so, together they would be even hotter. And for doing both of them at the same time, Puck would become The Man. Even if he decided to wear a hot pink leotard to school and start doing Single Ladies with Kurt.

At least he was still badass, Puck thought as he set his bag down in his usual seat in the corner of Study Hall. He pulled out a book, because he felt like pretending to care that day, but he was more interested in the text he'd just gotten from Santana:

Fuck me. My car. 5 mins or i'm going solo ;)

Well, he couldn't say no to that. But first, he'd try to negotiate.

Bringing britt? :p

In ur wet dreams, puckerman

He'd take that as a no.

Fine, im coming

So soon? Damn i'm good :p

Deciding to ditch Study Hall before Santana made his jeans any tighter (or made him look any less badass), Puck walked out to her car, glad that he was going full commando again.


Afterwards, he teased her, "Admit it. I was fantastic," his trademark smirk returning to his face.

"Better than Finn," Santana said, rolling her eyes and reapplying her lip gloss.

"What?" Puck laughed, "Finn's a virgin with a capital V. Quinn didn't even let him get to second base. And Berry doesn't have a second base to get to."

"Remember that week when Madonna was blasting everywhere?"

"Yeah. What's that got to do with anything?"

"Coach Sylvester told us all to date younger men like Madonna so me and him hooked up in a motel," she shrugged.

"Please. He can't compete with these guns," Puck said, while flexing for emphasis.

"He can't compete with anything," she shuddered, "he started muttering about mail about two seconds in, then blew his load, and I don't even want to remember what happened after that. He didn't even notice when I accidentally screamed B's name when I 'came'." She made air quotes for emphasis.

"Okay, this is way more than I ever needed to know… except for you screaming about Brittany. That was hot. Maybe I should experience this in person to appreciate the full story. You know, I have this weird thing I need to do after sex to relax, kind of like smoking. I need to watch you have sex with Brittany," Puck said, nodding solemnly.

"Get out of my car, Puck."


Puck thought about what he'd found out during his nap instead of math class. Finn still hated him, so it's not like he was going to tell Puck that he'd done Santana. Although Puck had thought that slashing Vocal Adrenaline's tires and working at Sheets and Things together then losing Regionals might have changed things, Finn still wouldn't talk to him. He wasn't upset or anything. He was a stud. That was chick behavior.

Then he found himself wondering about Berry. He knew there was no way she'd still be with someone who had lost the V-card and wasn't in a "committed relationship", so she must not know. And then he wondered why he even cared. Rachel was loud and obnoxious, and she wouldn't even let him touch her boobs when they dated that one time. But she was also a hot Jew. And much as he might hate to admit it, she could out sing anyone he knew. And those knee socks and tiny little skirts showed off her mile-long legs just right… so, maybe he had a thing for Berry. No big deal. It's not like he was going to steal another girl from Finn. That shit wasn't kosher. But he figured, it would be better to tell her now, when her going ballistic wouldn't affect glee so much, than when she eventually found out, and have to go through the whole "Rachel quits the club, find new Rachel, new Rachel is hot but drunk so we kick her out and bring back Rachel" thing again. Strangely enough, Puck kind of wanted to… protect her or something. He chalked the whole thing up to watching too many Disney movies with his little sister, and left the nurse's office.

Puck had decided to keep quiet, but then he walked into Glee rehearsal. Apparently, Rachel was out of animal sweaters, because she'd pulled on a skin tight (for once) Aeropostale tee. He had no idea why she said she had a "slushy-stained training bra," because the nearly perfect rack he was seeing no longer needed any training. Then, not without effort, he looked up, and saw how… unfocused she was. What the fuck. Rachel Berry was the definition of focused. You looked up focus in the dictionary, you saw a picture of her smiling that crazy "I'm-going-to-own-Broadway-one-day" smile. Now she just looked kind of wrong. Off, somehow. She wasn't babbling a mile a minute about some random dude named Tony. She wasn't even doing any vocal exercises. She was just sitting there nodding in Finn's general direction. That's what changed his mind. "Berry," he yelled, motioning for her to come. Over to him, of course. Although he wouldn't mind the first option…

Rachel didn't even look any more confused; she just walked over to him without so much as looking at Finn. That was good. Maybe she was looking for an out anyways? Or maybe Puck was just making up excuses. It was too late for him to change his mind, anyways. Rachel was greeting him with a small, "Hello, Noah."

He stumbled through an explanation, "Um… shit. I don't know how to explain this right, Berry…" He knew something was definitely wrong with her. She didn't even correct his language or his calling her by her last name, something he knew she hated. This was bad. Maybe he'd work up to telling her, "Whoa. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Jess – Noah." She stuttered over a name he had never wanted to hear her say again.

"You're still hung up on that punk? Rachel, he egged you. They were fucking fertilized; you had nightmares for weeks about chickens attacking you, all because Jesse St. Jackass was too busy spying for his team to even think about you!" Puck was beyond mad. He was tired of Rachel going crazy over guys who treated her like shit. And maybe he was a little bothered that she'd never gone crazy over him. Hey, he treated her right that week they were dating. So was he being a little selfish? Maybe. Did he care? Nope. "God, why do you always like the wrong guys?"

"What do you mean, Noah?"

"Finn had sex with Santana." It did not escape Puck's attention that he failed to mention when it happened. Hey, he was a busy person. He couldn't remember everything. Mission accomplished, he turned and walked back to his usual seat right behind Quinn.

Rachel marched to the front of the room. "Mr. Schuester, I'd like to start us all off with my solo that expresses my feelings, as my previous illness prevented me from doing so." Uh-oh. She had her crazy look back. Puck was beginning to regret telling her.

"Whatever you want, Rachel." Mr. Schuester was, apparently, done trying to rein Rachel in, and sat in a chair off to the side in anticipation.

"I will be performing Beyoncé's 'Resentment', which, I believe, expresses how I feel about someone who used to be very important in my life." Rachel's speech was accompanied by a pointed look at Finn. Shit.

And then… Mercedes happened. "Aw, HELL to the nah. Beyoncé? You're too white to pull off a sistah. You don't have the voice."

"While your dedication to your race is admirable, Mercedes, I think I've proven by this point that I am in fact capable of singing a myriad of musical styles. Hit it." Damn, Berry was hot when she got mad. And then she started to sing.

I wish I could believe you,
And I'll be alright,
But now everything you told me,
Really don't apply,

To the way I feel inside.

He had to admit, Rachel was right. Her voice was definitely big enough for this song. But she just kept looking at Finn like he had kidnapped that Tony person. And snuck into her room and murdered her pet ferrets. And those big brown eyes were almost full of tears… Puck couldn't decide whether this was good or bad.

Loving you was easy once upon a time,
But now my suspicions of you
Are multiplied
And it's all because you lied.

I only give you a hard time
'Cause I can't go on and pretend like
I haven't tried to forget this
But I'm much too full of resentment.

Now Rachel was seriously into it, holding the mike stand and singing for all she was worth. No wonder she was the female lead. Poor Finn was looking more uncomfortable by the second, and Puck had a feeling the worse was yet to come.

Just can't seem to get over,
The way you hurt me.
Don't know how you gave another,
Who didn't mean a thing, no,
The very thing you gave to me.

Oh, no. Rachel did not just stare down Santana. This was not happening. Because if it was, Rachel was about to die. You did not mess with Santana and live to tell the tale.

I thought I could forgive you,
And I know you've changed.
As much as I want to trust you,
I know it ain't the same.
And it's all because you lied.

I only give you a hard time
'Cause I can't go on and pretend like
I haven't tried to forget this
But I'm much too full of resentment.

Loved you more than ever,
More than my own life.
The best part of me I gave you,
I would sacrifice and it's all because you lied.

I only give you a hard time
'Cause I can't go on and pretend like
I tried and I tried to forgive this
But I'm too damn full of resentment.

Okay, Berry got major points for cussing out Finn. Again. And for her voice completely blowing the rest of the room away. And those legs, which were swaying back and forth and bending ever-so-slightly… yum.

I know she was attractive,
But I was here first.
Been waiting for you for so long,
Why did I deserve,
To be treated this way,
By you…

Then Rachel looked right at Finn and said, "We're over. You can be with Santana, since apparently that's what you want."

Santana almost hissed at him, "Not in this lifetime," while defiantly linking pinkies with Brittany.

Puck most definitely was not happy about Berry dumping Finn. Not even a tiny bit. Nope. Besides, she actually looked kind of… pleased with herself now. Was that a smirk? Whatever. At least he had some rough hate sex with Santana to look forward. Fuck yes.


So, this was definitely longer! And the next chapter will be more St. Berry-centric for sure.

That review button looks like it'd be fun to click, right? Right? :)