Rofl… I decided to post these ridiculous one-shots in one place… Enjoy! (P.S. one curse word)

Disclaimer: I don't own A:tLA

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The Talk

It had started as a normal day in the Southern Water Tribe. Women were cooking, the men had left to fish and hunt, and children were rushing to water bending lessons with Masters Pakku and Katara.

What had started as a normal, humdrum day for the members of the Tribe, started extraordinarily for our favorite Avatar. He had recently received permission from Chief Hakoda to marry his daughter (and the love of said Avatar's life), Katara. Hakoda had been all to thrilled at the thought of having Avatar Aang marrying his daughter and as a son-in-law. Prince Sokka, though, saw the engagement as inevitable. One way or another Aang and Katara would've gotten hitched, with or without permission. But he wouldn't go down as the bride-to-be's older brother without a fight. Snagging Aang as he walked past, Sokka took him to his quarters. Cheerily he stated: "Aang, let's have a talk…"

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" – so even though you were raised a monk, you really have nothing to worry about," Sokka concluded. After listening to Sokka talk about… certain unmentionables for almost two hours straight (quite graphically too), poor Aang was quite traumatized.

"You mean you and Suki do this?" he asked, turning pale.

"Oh yeah, at least once a week, unless she's mad at me." Aang shivered. "Oh! Sometimes we even have these costumes and – "

"I DON'T WANNA KNOW!!"

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Slowly, the afternoon crept by. After classes were over, Katara went in search of her new fiancée. She searched for a half an hour, with no luck, and she was beginning to get panicky. Going back to the palace a fourth time, she ran into Sokka – who looked rather smug about something.

"Sokka, have you seen Aang? I've looked everywhere and I can't find him!" she said, on the verge of tears.

Smiling innocently, Sokka looked at his sister. "Why no, dear sister of mine," he said, layering on the sweet. "I have not seen Aang. Perhaps he is at the stables with Appa." Katara narrowed her eyes and stared down her brother, seeing right through his rouge.

Grinning menacingly after a moment, Katara turned towards the door. "All right, DEAR BROTHER, whatever you say. But once I find out what you did to Aang – and I know it was you – there will be no place left to hide."

"Psh, yeah I better start thinking of a really good place to hide."

"Look, I cook your food, do your laundry, and most importantly – I KNOW WHERE YOU SLEEP. Think on that, sweetest sibling." And with that, Katara walked out the door.

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Now, it is a known fact throughout the Water Tribe that when Katara isn't happy, ABSOLUTELY NO ONE is. Normally, this doesn't happen often because normally Aang is there to calm her down. But when Aang isn't with her for extended periods of time, "unhappy" is an understatement (which was learned the hard way when Aang was forced away against his will for Sokka's bachelor party a year ago) and no one could escape the water bender's wrath. So of course the entire population volunteered to help in the search for the missing Avatar.

After three long hours, Katara finally found her poor Aang, distraught and hysterical, in the corner of a janitor's closet at the Water Bending Academy. She could swear she heard him mumbling "happy place" over and over again as he hugged his knees close and stared blankly into space. With the help of Master Pakku, they managed to get Aang to the house Katara shared with him. After everyone was back in his or her own homes, Katara stayed up all night comforting Aang. Tea hadn't worked (his hand shook so much tea would've been everywhere if Katara weren't there to bend it back into the cup) and neither did yoga or aromatherapy. Whenever "sleep" was brought up, Aang would shake harder.

Finally, after people had begun to start their day once more, Katara had calmed down her poor sweetie enough to get in a few words. "Oh, Aang, dearest, I haven't seen you this shaken since before the Invasion. Please tell me what's wrong," she cooed.

Aang managed to spit out "Sokka – " before cutting off, shuddering violently a final time, and falling asleep against Katara's shoulder. Resting Aang gently on the couch, Katara stood. The fire of vengeance flickered in her eyes as her brother walked through her door to retrieve the coat Pakku left last night. Not taking another step into the house, Sokka turned right back out once he saw the murderous look on his sister's face. Within seconds, he could be seen running past the window and Katara was out the door. Water whip at hand, Katara chased after Sokka screaming, "SOKKA! WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO MY FIANCEE?!"

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lol srry for the lang. there at the end it was just funnier that way… anyway I have no clue wat Sokka told aang. It could have been the talk or just some talk about an obscene way to kill and prepare an animal for use. Aang is a monk after all so he would find the destruction of animals horrible and u know Sokka would describe the delicate process dramatically and graphically. O the joys of over-protective Sokka… XD