So I know you want to hang me upside down on a fan and switch it on but please don't do that! I get nauseous! Well here's the second part!

Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist or Black Lagoon!


It had been a whole week since the incident. I had gone to the bar regularly but was yet to see her again. Its not like she'd got stuck on my mind. I swear it isn't like that. She was just unusual. And the only other unusual people I know are a pair of brothers and an oversized creepy bodybuilding teddy-bear with a tendency to tear his shirt off at the slightest provocation.

And at the moment... I was stuck on a job with the aforementioned shirt ripper. Well, its more of a favor than a job actually. My crazy co-workers, pyromaniac boss and a trigger happy lieutenant cannot start the day without the strong aroma of caffeine filling their lungs and the strong flavor hitting their mouth! And since no greater power seemed to give a flying piece of poop about us, the coffee machine dropped dead with a pathetic sputter.

Let's just say that my team isn't very useful or social without coffee in the morning. Falman and Breda were trying not to fall asleep while Fury was almost twitching with nervousness. Mustang was reflexively snapping his fingers with every word. Thankfully the only sane man-er...woman had confiscated his flint gloves.

Thank God for Hawkeye!

And since I was the only one who managed to have some coffee powder...yes I emptied a packet of it in my mouth... I was sent for the glorious job of getting the damn thing fixed. And since the shirt ripper was also headed out he decided to tag along. Much to my displeasure.

So that's why I am standing outside a repair shop while dear major Armstrong aka. The shirt ripping giant is terrorizing those inside with his manly tears and omnipotent pink sparkles.

''THE ART OF NAPPY CHANGING HAS BEEN PASSED DOWN THE ARMSTRONG FAMILY FOR GENERATIONS'' the Major's voice boomed, followed by the squeak of a poor woman. I sighed heavily as I thought of saving her baby or not.

That's when I saw her.

The red hair pulled back in a low pony and her amber eyes flashing with barely contained rage. Instead of a skirt though, she had on a pair of fitted dark blue pants and combat boots.

I miss the cowboy boots. They were cute!

She was flipping off some poor guy hunched over himself, clutching his man-parts. You can never know for sure who was at fault here, so my fleeting concern for him made sense. I mean he could have been an innocent passerby who got attacked by the Amazon with anger issues. And even though I don't know any red head on a personal level, I've heard they are rather temperamental.

I looked back at the store and decided that I did have some time to spare. Then I fixed my hair and clothes and crossed the not so busy road.

Walking up to her, I saw her patting her pockets for a lighter while a cigarette hung between her lips. Taking a page out of Mustangs book I offered her a light.

''Need a light?'' I asked her with a smile. My arm stretched out in front of her with a lighter ready in my hand.

She stared at me for a few minutes before recognition flashed in her eyes and she leaned down to let me light her cigarette. Thank God! I thought my arm was gonna fall off. She didn't thank me for it, it didn't surprise me one bit.

''So...'' I started ''Revy right?'' I didn't really know what to say at the moment. Its like I had a million things I wanted to talk to her about and I knew that but when I was actually there next to her...my brain had gone to graze to the fields.

She just hummed slightly. Didn't even nod.

''I'm Jean. From the bar. In case you forgot.'' ah! Nice going idiot.

''I remember.'' she didn't seem too excited to see me though. Not that I blame her, I was the perverted dude staring at her like a retard after all. She did seem pissed off though. I don't think I wanna know why.

''You seem upset?'' Great! Didn't I just decide not to ask her that question? I might have to chop my tongue off if I love my nuts. Which I do. Very much.

''Nah, I'm just peachy!'' she growled back at me and I almost jumped back at the viciousness of her tone. But I'm not an idiot for nothing so I decided to try to talk to her. Actually talk to her.

After my stomach settled a bit.

I leaned against the glass window of the bookstore like she was doing. I didn't say much after that but kept looking at her from the corner of my eyes.

Now that I saw her in the day time, add to it the fact that I was sober, I realized how lovely 'looking' she actually was. Her red hair was more magenta than red brown. And her hazel eyes could almost pass for golden. Plus she was well-built. And I don't mean well-built as in curvy, even though she was rather curvy, she looked strong. As in can lift heavy weight strong. Her features were sharper than the other women too. Like I kept saying, she was different.

I think we stood in silence for a few minutes. She lit another cigarette and slipped the lighter into her coat pocket. MY lighter. But I couldn't care less because my brain kept screaming at me to break the goddamned silence. Although I didn't need to.

''Fuck this!'' she spat and straightened up and I realized she was leaving. It was a do or die situation. I didn't know what to do so I gave in to my instincts and did what I do best.

Act like a desperate idiot.

I grabbed her arm and asked her if she wanted to have lunch. She whipped around to face me, ready to punch my face in when I tried to grab at the edges of my rope.

''I'll pay!'' I'm really proud of the fact that my voice didn't sound as freaked out as I felt.

It worked. She didn't punch me, not yet at least. Although she did give me the are-you-insane-look. So I tried to pull my hypothetical pants back on.

''Just lunch. All on me.'' I tried to smile. I don't think I really charmed her though. I was looking like a constipated monkey.

She reached into her coat at that as she seemed to think the offer through. Finally, she accepted it. With a smile too!


''The Jade Monkey? Seriously?'' Revy didn't seem very happy about the idea. But this was a five star restaurant, with excellent food, so the name shouldn't really have mattered. But I could understand her feelings. The very idea of eating lunch in an expensive primate seemed weird.

''This place seems expensive.'' It didn't seem much like question but I could detect a hint of curiosity in her voice. Her eyes were slightly wide at the furnishing. Yes this place was expensive and a crazy and impulsive idea of mine was going to burn a huge hole in my pocket. But hey! Its not like you get to take an exotic woman out to lunch often.

Even if its not really a date.

About an hour and chef special later, she actually seemed in a better mood. She told me she was a part time bodyguard to a translator in her company. When I asked her why a translator would need a bodyguard, she went on and on about something along the lines of schoolgirls and kidnapping.

A schoolgirl gets kidnapped? How does that relate to some translator?

I also found out the guy she left with the other night ...Rock?...was the translator. No wonder she was worried! She ordered some really expensive dessert after that. I felt my stomach sink. After that I told her about myself. Women tend to like me after they find out about my profession. Well what can I say! Soldiers do seem rather badass.

''So you are a cop?'' she seemed surprised, wide eyed and all. She reached into her coat again. I guessed it was a tic. Many people have those like Mustang keeps snapping his fingers.

''Yeah! You could call it that.'' I tried to smile and not frown at the fact that I'll be living on tap water for the next few days. Maybe we should have gone somewhere less expensive.

She stopped eating and very gently placed her spoon in the plate next to the half eaten dessert. Reaching for the glass of water she took a few solid gulps before putting it to her forehead.

When she noticed my questioning gaze she gave me a rather strained smile.

''Headache.'' she said simply.

I know how bad headaches are. I have killer hangovers every other day.

''Umm wait here. I'll run over to the store and get you some medicine!''

She nodded slightly in gratitude and I leaped up from my seat. There was a medical store directly opposite to the Jade Monkey. Well I couldn't help but feel nice about my situation. Even though my pocket was going to be empty, I was making quite an impression on a red haired spit fire. Man...I love my job!

I scared a few kids with my extreme jittery-ness and freaked out the poor store owner. A sweet brunette too but I had an Amazon in mind so I couldn't care less.

I nearly skipped back to the diner with the medication in hand. And that's when everything hit me like a train. As I stood in front of my table...my empty table, I realized she'd ditched me.

But why? I'd done about everything perfectly! Did she pretend to have a headache to get rid of me? No. The headache was real. Her face said so. But why did she leave?

After paying the bills I slowly made my way back to HQ. Maybe I was hoping too much out of a simple meeting. Maybe I was too overbearing. But still, I didn't expect her to ditch me like that. On the first outing. It wasn't a date.

Suddenly I felt strong arms wrap around me and my feet left the ground. The air whooshed out of my lungs as my attacker tried to suffocate me to death with all his strength.

''Can't breathe! Major!'' I wheezed out and he let me go. I turned to look at him. His eyes flowing continuous rivers of manly tears as his blue eyes crinkled up happily.

Creepy.

''I was worried you got mugged, second lieutenant.'' he bellowed in that Armstrong way and grabbed my elbow dragging me along with him back to HQ.

''I was mugged.'' I confirmed. Well in a way I was. Okay so maybe I wasn't. I was just being bitchy. C'mon! I liked the girl and she just up and went. But could I get mad at her? Noooooo...because she was just so adorable with her red hair. Damn!

Then I saw her again. She was standing there with that Rock guy from before. Her face was red with annoyance and she was flailing her arms around wildly. The guy seemed tired but amused. And that's when it hit me! Maybe he was her boyfriend! I couldn't be sure but it didn't seem unlikely. And of course, girls that attractive were hardly ever single. So maybe I was pursuing a girl who was already in a committed relationship.

God! I felt like Mustang!

But still I wanted to smash that Rock guys face into a wall. Anyways I guess masochists really have all the fun.

Then again...that brunette from the medical store was pretty hot. She was sweet and kind too!

Maybe I should ask her out. I pulled out a cigarette and couldn't find my lighter. If she says yes, I'll take her shopping for cowboy boots.

I bet Mustang couldn't have scored lunch with the red haired beauty who stole my lighter. She would have kicked his scrawny ass!

But the medical store brunette was really cute! Short brown hair with pretty brown eyes. Not exotic but nice looking.

Besides...she was STACKED!


Not as good as I wanted but bearable. Anyways don't forget to review.