AN: Second chapter! People really seem to like this story, seriously. I got good feedback on Deviantart too. Nothing much happens in this chapter, just things become clear. This one takes place right after the events of chapter 1, but not all of the chapters will be like that. I will skip around quite a bit, and this story will probably not have many chapters. Also, no consistant updates. Sorry, I'll try to get the third one in soon but I can't promise anything. I have other things I have to do too.

Anyway, enjoy! And leave me lovely reviews if you do!

Disclaimer: I don't own it


I had to admit, I was nervous about staying over at the Cox residence that night. Everything had happened so fast while I was there…I wasn't quite sure what had happened. My mind was still a little frazzled, and while I knew I looked like shit I also couldn't muster the energy to really care. One thought that kept swirling around in my head was that Jack had kissed me.

Jack had kissed me.

And he had…but I couldn't think about that. If I thought about it too much, my brain would explode. That was just too much. I just kept running until I literally ran into my apartment door, clutching the door handle like a lifeline.

Part of me prayed my dad would ask me what happened, and forbid me to go. Not that I wanted to tell him, of course, but he would force it out of me either way. Unfortunately, knowing my dad, he would just be happy for me and send me off. But how could he know how gut-wrenchingly nervous I was? I barely knew, as shell-shocked as I was.

My dad wasn't home when I got inside, and neither was Carry. There was a note on the fridge, which I assumed was from him, but I didn't read it right away. The first thing I had to do was take a shower. My pants felt uncomfortable sticky; I tried not to think of why that was, opting for instead pretending that I had spilled soda on them. I slipped out of my clothes as I made my way to my room, throwing them down the stairs to the basement. I would clean them later.

The bathroom was a wonderful sanctuary to just sit and think, and it was often a place I went when things really got out of hand. Of course, that was ruined a lot of the time by Carry pounding on the door, yelling at me to get out so she could do her hair. I wondered when she would wise up and realize that her hair, as much as she had to "do" it, was just shitty. But my dad would never suggest she cut it, which was the sensible thing to do. What he saw in her, I couldn't tell.

Actually, that was a lie. I knew exactly what he saw in her. It had kept me awake many a night, wishing and praying I was at my mom's. She didn't date much because of work, so I never had that problem at her place.

I stepped into the bathroom and locked the door, in case dad or Carry came home early. Let her scream and shout; this was my time, and she was not going to interrupt it.

Normally, when I wanted to think, I would run the bath. But I didn't have the energy to take one right now. Every time I did, I had to refresh the water every five minutes. Lukewarm water just wasn't very relaxing. So I turned on the showerhead, as hot as it would go, and stepped past the curtain inside.

I hissed at the initial spray of steaming hot water, but then relaxed. The thing about hot water was that it was always relaxing. You couldn't be tense in water this hot. I sat on the protrusion and leaned back on the shower wall, sighing. This was just what I needed. I needed to relax desperately, and just sort of think things through.

What had happened was obviously something Jack wanted. He had initiated it, and a Cox never did anything without a reason. Of course, there was always the possibility that he only did it to make me happy. But I doubted it; it had been way too passionate for just a favor.

I still felt guilty, though, like I had forced him into it. That was stupid, I knew, but I couldn't help it. I knew that going over there tonight would mean he either wanted to reestablish our friendship, show that nothing would change just because of something that had lasted very long; or, in my mind a lot less likely, he wanted something more than friendship from me. I frowned to myself at that and reached for the soap to start cleaning my body. Jack was straight; there was no question about that. There was no way he could be interested in me.

I rubbed the bar roughly against my chest, trying to convince myself that I was being delusional and that Jack and I would continue being friends. But that kiss…I had never been kissed before, but it had been enough to arouse me. Even if it was Jack, just a kiss shouldn't do that.

I shook my head angrily, as if I were protesting against my thoughts. I was a teenager, and teenage hormones were very over-abundant. It was because of that, nothing more. I couldn't let myself be even a little hopeful to that kind of future. If I did, I would only be hurting myself.

Speaking of hurting myself…it came to my attention I was scrubbing one spot on my chest rhythmically with the soap, and it had turned red. I threw the offending bar away in favor of burying my head in my hands. Everything was so much simpler before. Sure, I was sort of pining for him, but at least I knew where we stood. At least then, I knew we were just friends and would never be anything more. Now…my world was completely turned upside-down. I couldn't keep up.

I dumped a big glob of shampoo in my hand and scrubbed my hair so hard a few strands came off on my hands. I didn't care, though, because right then it didn't matter. I knew my dad would be shocked to hear that, since he viewed hair to be the most important aspect of a man's life, but I wasn't thinking too hard about that at the time.

I knew I wouldn't call Jack and tell him I wouldn't be coming over, as much as I wanted to. I knew that, because I also knew that as soon as I heard his voice I would want to see him again and throw all discretions out the window.

I really wished my dad were here, so I could just talk to someone about this.

I noticed the water was starting to get cold and shut it off, sitting in the shower a few minutes more. I couldn't have the comfort of the hot spray anymore, but I could sit here dripping for a while, feeling sorry for myself.

I considered calling Izzy and begging her to help me. She was always the person I turned to when things got bad or overwhelming. But JD had already seen me, and I was almost certain she had already called Izzy and told her what happened. I knew my Latina friend would jump to unnecessary conclusions and try to talk before I had even explained the situation. I loved her to death, but she was inconsiderate sometimes like that and probably wouldn't be much help at all no matter what her reaction was.

I would have to face this alone. I would have to be brave. I would have to be strong in front of Jack no matter what he wanted. I couldn't run away.

Sighing, I grabbed my towel to dry myself and then wrapped it around my waist while I searched for clothes to wear. I found myself being a little pickier about my ensemble than usual. There were clothes all over the house, in baskets and drawers. But none of them seemed good enough as I wandered around practically naked. I did eventually settle on my favorite pair of jeans, the ones that weren't dirty, and a red t-shirt that had the words, 'What Did You Kill, Bungalow Bill?' blazoned across it in white letters. I still felt scruffy, but I thought this would do. I had to fight not to keep searching for clothes, though, as I threw my towel down to the basement to join my pants.

A grumbling of my stomach reminded me that I was hungry. I didn't notice before because I was so nervous, but I couldn't ignore it now. I opened the fridge to see if there was anything to eat. As I stared at the depressingly empty interior, I was reminded that my dad didn't go shopping yet. The only thing left were a few apples, so that had to do. I grabbed one and took a juicy bite before closing the cool black door.

A note on the front caught my eye. It was from my dad, saying that he and Carry went out on a double date with Aunt Elliot and Uncle Rubin, her husband. He said not to expect him back too early and that there was money in the cupboard if I wanted to order out. I sighed. Just another night in the Dorian household; alone. I would go live with my mom, but she was always so busy with work. It wouldn't be any better than here, and at least here I could still see my friends all the time.

I scribbled out a note and suck it to the fridge informing dad where I was going to be if he came home early. I still wasn't sure if I really wanted to go, and face this, but I would do it. I couldn't run; not from Jack, especially. As much as I just wanted to pretend this wasn't happening, I needed to know where we stood. I wouldn't abandon him for anything, and especially not this.

I packed slowly, carefully picking out the clothes and stuff I wanted to take. I grabbed a few video games that I know Jack enjoyed so we could play something other than Unreal Tournament. I knew I was stalling when I stood for ten minutes, weighing the pros and cons of simply washing some clothes to take. I knew it would take too long, and I guess I was secretly hoping I could use it as an excuse. But I had clean clothes, and I would take them. I needed to get out of here now.

As I passed the bathroom, I made a quick stop inside to check on my hair. I groaned in agony as I saw the red marks on my neck. I had forgotten all about those, but they stood out clear and angry on my pale skin. No way could I hide that, unless I wore a turtleneck. Which might seem a little suspicious, since it was so unseasonably warm outside. Warm enough for a t-shirt at least. No way would his parents not notice.

I dug in the medicine cabinet, coming back up with a bottle of liquid cover-up and a makeup sponge. I had seen Carry apply this stuff dozens of times before for the exact same problem so I was sure it would work. I poured a little on the makeup sponge and dabbed it lightly on my skin, trying not to leave too thick a layer. I don't know what I had been expecting, but I was stunned when the marks practically disappeared fairly easily. I smiled, relieved. That would have been a very awkward conversation.

Putting the makeup back, I stopped for a minute to look around the apartment. I had never liked staying here alone, and avoided it whenever possible. This had to be the first time I ever even partially fought to stay here while my dad was gone. Fear was a strong thing, really. I had felt its icy grip many times before, but usually it was from the bullies at school or the fear of failing a test. I had never felt such a deep-encompassing fear before; it was uncomfortable, and made me want to break down and just stay in this spot forever. I was afraid, not of Jack, but of what Jack represented at this time: Uncertainty.

I wondered how many people were ever in this situation, and what they did. How did anyone move with this kind of fear tearing at their insides? How could anyone keep going when all they wanted to do was curl up and die?

I already had the answer to that before the phone started ringing: Because life wasn't about quitting when things were hard. It was about persevering and working through even the toughest of situations, so you could continue to live. And I had to continue to live, and face this thing, whatever way it turned out.

I picked up the phone without checking to caller ID. "Hello?"

"Sammy?" A smile crossed my face. It was Jack. Was he calling just to see if I was coming over?

"Hey, Jack," I said, hopping onto the kitchen island to sit. "I was just about to leave. Is something wrong?"

"Oh." I could sense the surprise in that single syllable. He was probably thinking that I was thinking exactly what I had been thinking mere minutes before. And he would have been accurate. But I was right about one thing: His voice was soothing. It made me want to see him all the more, and gave me the extra bit of courage I needed to really leave this apartment. "Uh…mom wanted to know what you wanted for dinner." My smile grew wider. Obviously that was an excuse. His mother didn't cook.

"Pasta sounds good," I said, deciding to buy into his ruse. It didn't matter anyway, I could understand his anxiety more than perfectly.

"Cool," he sighed. Even over the phone, I could tell he was relieved I was being so casual. I knew this boy way too well. "Hey, listen…about earlier…"

"I'll be there in a few minutes," I interrupted. I didn't want to talk about this over the phone, as easy as it would be. And if we started, I would lose my nerve. "We can talk when I get there, okay?" There was a long pause, as if he was thinking about it, and then a sigh.

"Okay, when you get here. See you, Sammy." And then the line went dead and I felt alone once more. Funny thing about phones: They can really make an empty apartment seem full. And when you hang up, that empty apartment goes right back to an empty apartment. I had never been so anxious to get out of there as I grabbed the spare key and locked the door.

--

Jack's mom was home from work when I got there, but she said Uncle Perry was on-call for a few more hours. That was fine with me; in case things went badly, I didn't want to have to deal with the elder Cox.

I pulled a game from my bag when I got inside. Nothing special, just a football game. I was better at it than actual football, and Unreal Tournament. Jack grabbed the bag and told me to just go downstairs and set it up while he threw my bag into his room. I was more than happy to do that, and descended the carpet-covered stairs.

I expected it to be empty when I got down there, but instead found it very full with two people watching a flickering TV screen in the pitch dark, a bowl of popcorn between them. My blood ran cold as I realized who the two people were: JD and Izzy.

Of course, I was expecting to deal with JD tonight. She lived here, and it was unavoidable. But Izzy? I hadn't thought JD would really be that mean. She couldn't be doing this to spite me, could she? But she had told Jack about my feelings for him, so I couldn't honestly say she wasn't.

I tried to blend into the darkness like some strange chameleon hybrid so they wouldn't see me, but I had never been very good at hiding from them. They spotted me right away.

"Sammy, is that you?" Izzy sounded pissed. She probably knew what had happened. JD, you big blabbermouth. I stepped into the middle of the room, staring at the floor guiltily.

"Hey, guys," I said softly. The movie played on the screen, but nobody was paying attention to it now. Both Izzy and JD were staring at me, their arms crossed. I wished someone would have the sense to turn the lights on, because it was disconcerting to just stand here in the dark. I took a deep breath, hoping to sort of lie my way out of this. There was the chance Izzy didn't know; JD might not have told her yet. "Sorry I missed the movie," I said, trying to force a smile. I looked up in time to see Izzy roll her eyes.

"Please, Sammy, we know why you missed it. That's not why we're pissed." I looked back at the floor, prepared to receive my telling off. Izzy was good for that.

"I'm-I'm sorry," I said, at a loss for what else to say. I wasn't sure exactly how I could apologize for this.

"Yeah you're sorry," she said venomously. "Or you should be. How come you didn't call to tell me?" My head snapped up. She was mad that I didn't tell her? Well, that was easy; I was too freaked out myself to even think about doing something like that. JD patted the cushions next to her and I sat down, my head spinning a little.

"Give him a break, Izzy," JD said. "You should have seen him when he left. He looked like the spokesperson for Schizophrenia." JD had seen me as I left, looking all rumpled and bitten up. One hand flew absent-mindedly to my neck.

"He still should have called," Izzy huffed. I made a mental note never to hide anything from her. If JD weren't here, she would have torn into me without mercy. I didn't think I could handle something like that right now, with all this going on. I would have started crying, I just know I would.

"So…" JD put the TV on mute and leaned over to me. I leaned away a little, scared by the glint in her eyes. "What did you guys do?" I spluttered a little, not even attempting to answer the question. It wasn't something I really wanted to tell her about. Luckily, I didn't have to.

"You should learn to mind your own business, Jenny," a voice said, before the lights came back on. I blinked a few times, trying to adjust my eyes, and caught sight of Jack standing in the doorway. "Get out of here, Jenny, we're playing video games."

"Like hell you are! Me and Izzy were here first; we're watching a movie."

"Watch it in your own room." He was glowering at his sister, his face most sincerely saying get the fuck out. It was almost scary. It wasn't even directed at me, and I had the urge to bolt. But JD was a tough girl, and just returned his glower with a glare of her own.

"We're not leaving," she growled. "You can't make us."

"Uh…we could all just finish the movie, and then you could leave and let us play video games," I said timidly. I was always trying to keep the peace in the Cox household, futilely. It almost never worked. Izzy used to try right alongside of me, but gave up a while ago. And if she couldn't do it, what made me think I could do it?

But I was surprised when Jack merely shrugged and turned the light back off.

"Start 'er up," he said, settling down next to me. JD pressed the mute button, and sound flowed back into the room.

I barely noticed what movie it was. It had quite a few romance scenes, but that wasn't what currently held my attention. It was more Jack's close proximity that had my full and undivided attention. It didn't seem like he was paying attention to the movie, either, as his fingers playfully crawled over my hand. A couple times, I thought he was just going to grab my hand and hold it, which I wouldn't know how to respond to at all. But he never did, simply let his hand skim over the skin. I shivered at the strange tingling sensation left in their wake.

"This movie is boring," he whispered in my ear. I jumped at his voice, so unexpected in my state. I nodded in agreement. He tugged at my fingers gently. "Wanna just go to my room until the gruesome twosome leave?" I did want to, so badly. I love JD and Izzy, but at that time being alone with Jack in his room sounded much, much more appealing. I felt myself being tugged off the couch by the very tips of my fingers, being practically dragged along.

"Where are you two going?" JD asked, looking away from the giant TV screen.

"My room," Jack said shortly before pulling me up the stairs into the house. He let go of my hand as we reached the den, where his mother was sitting watching some sort of soap opera. She glanced up as we passed.

"Dinner's almost ready, Jack-y. Could you tell your sister?"

"She'll wander up when she's hungry," Jack replied, not stopping in his beeline for his room. I could do nothing but follow, waving a quick hello to Mrs. Cox. She waved back as I tried desperately to keep up with Jack's longer legs. Why did he have to go so damn fast when he knew I couldn't keep up?

When we got to his room, everything happened so fast I was in a mild panic for a few seconds. First, the door closed and was locked, and then I was pushed up against the wall roughly, being kissed almost painfully. I struggled initially, but once my senses were clear once more I relaxed and began responding. I still had a lot of questions to ask Jack-one of them being exactly what this was to him-but they could wait. I mean, I was still scared that maybe this was all a big experiment to him, and insecure about pretty much everything, but I could let this moment be for a while. I could just let this go on.

I felt myself being pushed down, and found we'd somehow made it to his bed. I vaguely wondered how that had happened, but it wasn't exactly a priority thought as he crawled on the bed to straddle me. Strangely, nothing about this situation seemed wrong. It seemed…natural and right.

"You put on makeup?" Jack said amusedly, kissing my throat.

"Y-eah. Had to cover up the marks." My breath hitched as he ran a hand over my chest, still covered in plenty of t-shirt. I blinked sleepily as I watched him. Something about his presence so close always made my brain feel fuzzy. I just couldn't think about anything, even my previous worries. I couldn't even worry about how quickly my previous worries were forgotten.

Jack kissed along my jaw, my cheek, and my nose before settling once more on my lips.

"You're really cute, you know that?" I smiled a little at him calling me cute. Normally, I might have gotten angry. But in this situation, with him being the one to say it, it was the biggest compliment I had ever received.

I was in wonder as I watched his face morph from serene to worry.

"You know this isn't some one-time thing for me, right?" I frowned, trying to find his meaning. "I mean…I'm not trying to use you, Sammy." Oh…well, that was obvious. I thoroughly believed that, whatever Jack did, he never did to hurt anyone. He never meant any harm. I had known him my whole life, and I trusted him.

"I know that," I said softly. "But…you're straight." That was a fact I couldn't ignore. Jack had been straight as long as I could remember. He had been with quite a few girls, all very beautiful. Not once had he ever looked at a guy. He couldn't deny it, and I couldn't deny it, but I found myself wishing I had been born a girl if only for that purpose.

"I know I am," he said softly. "I am straight." I sighed. I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up even the slightest bit. I knew this was all too good to be true. I tried to sit up, but he pushed me back down and pressed his lips to mine. "I think you're my exception," he said quickly, looking away as if embarrassed. "You're not just some guy, Sammy. You're…well, you're you. We've known each other our entire lives, and I'm willing to bet I know you better than any guy you would ever be with. And you know me much better than any girl." This whole conversation was slightly uncomfortable while lying underneath him. I tried to sit up again, but he pushed me down once more, fixing me with a hard, pleading gaze.

"This is about so much more than which gender I'm physically attracted to. That's only one aspect of a good relationship." My brain felt fuzzy again. I let my head fall back on the pillows, feeling like the room was going blurry. It felt much too small, containing just me and Jack on this little twin bed. Did he just say we were in a relationship?

There was a knocking on the door. I jumped, pulled out of my mellow daze by a sense of sheer panic gripping my chest.

"Boys, dinner is done. Come eat."

"Coming, mom," Jack called. I sighed as I realized the door was locked and she wasn't coming in. I could hear her footsteps retreating. Jack sat up, his weight lifting from me so I could sit up. As relieved as I was, I missed it a little.

"You gonna be okay?" Jack asked me. I recalled that he asked me the same thing after our last little "episode" and smiled. He was right about us knowing each other better than any potential mates. Besides Izzy and JD, he was the only person I could honestly say I knew everything about. Jack was the only one I would get the true satisfaction of a…relationship…out of. I had to keep from laughing. Thinking of us in a relationship was strange. I never thought things would get to this point. But if Jack was willing, then so was I.

"Yeah, I think so," I said softly. We didn't need to say anything after that as he grasped my hand and pulled me out to the dining room, where Izzy, JD, and aunt Jordan were already sitting down to rigatoni with cheese. Nobody said anything about our late entry, and the conversation eased into a casual one. I ate the rigatoni ravenously, more than slightly distracted from the conversation by Jack placing a hand on my thigh under the table. But I didn't exactly protest, instead laying a hand on his to keep him there. His presence was comforting.

Later that night, when we finally decided to go to bed and I asked where I was gonna sleep, he laughed.

"With me, of course," he chuckled. I was shocked, and voiced this. He said it shouldn't have been such a big deal; after all, we used to do the same thing when we were little kids. I tried to protest that it was different then, but he would have none of it. He said I was going to sleep in his bed whether I really wanted to or not. I faked having to go to the bathroom before he could grab me and ducked out of the door.

I passed JD's room on the way there, and heard them still talking. The light was still on, so it seemed like they were going to stay up a little longer.

It was weird to think, but it was only earlier today that I was feeling sorry for myself over Jack. I never dreamed something like this would happen, and so fast. As much as I wanted to be around Jack right now, I felt like I needed the support of my other closest friends. I needed to know they would be okay with this, because I couldn't stand it if they were in any way mad at me. I opened the door and the turned towards me.

"Hey, Sammy. Are you sleeping in Jack's room tonight?" JD grinned at me, an evil gleam in her eye. I rolled my eyes and sat on the floor next to them.

"Yes…he wants me to sleep in his bed." It felt weird to talk about this, but I had already started. Besides, they already knew most of what was going on. Might as well fill them in on the rest.

"Oh! Are you guys gonna…you know…" She made an obscene gesture with both hands. Both Izzy and I fought to get to her first, to smack her upside the head. We ended up in a big pile, laughing.

"You shouldn't be such a pervert, JD," Izzy said, sitting up and smirking at her. I sat up as well, chuckling.

"Especially not about your own brother," I finished, crinkling my nose. "That's, like…really wrong." JD pouted.

"But you two are so fun…I can't help it." Izzy and I crossed our arms, fixing her with twin glares. She grimaced. "Okay, I'll try. But I'm not making any promises." I shook my head, smiling. JD would never stop being a pervert, no way in hell.

"So, what's the deal with you two, anyway?" Izzy asked, turning to me. "One minute, you're moping about the guy, the next you two are all lovey-dovey? How did that happen?" I shrugged.

"Honestly…I don't know. It just sort of happened." I wanted to keep talking with them, because it felt like I hadn't done that in ages, but there was a soft knock on the doorframe. We all turned as one to find Jack standing, staring at me.

"Hey," he said, a soft smile settling on his face. "You coming or what?" I looked back towards Izzy and JD, who were staring at me pointedly. Their eyes were practically screaming at me to just go back to bed with Jack.

"Yeah," I said, standing up. "Goodnight guys." They waved as I left and followed Jack casually back to his room. But my heart was pounding nervously. I hadn't slept in the same bed as Jack for years. I had stopped long before I discovered I liked him, and that discovery had only made certain that I would never do it again. I wasn't truly able to wrap my mind around all this, and my brain was still protesting against it profusely. Even if he said we were in a relationship, this was still weird.

I thought about just telling him I couldn't jump to that step yet, and would go sleep on the couch, but the decision was out of my hands as he sat on the bed and pulled me down with him. I barely had time to adjust before he wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me closer, sending me practically face-first into his chest, thankfully covered by a gray tank top. From this angle, every breath I took was laced with his scent, and I found myself taking much deeper breaths. I couldn't get enough of it; never had been able to. I also found myself becoming more relaxed. Maybe this wasn't going to be so hard.

He wrapped a blanket around us both and snuggled up to me to that his chin was resting on my head. He pressed a kiss into my hair.

"Goodnight, Sammy." I took another deep breath as I rested my head on his well-toned chest. I thought this would be much more uncomfortable than it was, but…we fit. There was no other way to explain it. And at this moment, this whole thing didn't feel weird anymore. It felt right. It felt like it was the right thing to do, and that things were finally the way they were supposed to be. I yawned, a feeling of sleepy calm washing over me.

"Goodnight, Jack."

For the first time, I felt like things would really be okay.


AN: It's not really important, but I should mention this: Rubin is, in my mind, the Janitor's name. ElliotxJanitor forever!