I left you in a bigger cliff hanger than I thought XD
Well, here you go :P


Chapter 14

Tony walked out the famous club in New York with a girl clinging to him, giggling and planting sloppy kisses to his cheek. People around them took photos and screamed questions to the playboy. His car was on the other side of the long red carpet, it felt longer than it looked like at first look. He was dragging the girl with him as he walked down the carpet, feeling that he would never reach the end. Suddenly, a man came up to them and stopped just a few feet away, a black revolver pointing at the billionaire. The man was crying and shaking. He looked so lost, but yet determined to do something… something to make the feeling go away.

"You killed my friend, murderer!" The man said and pulled the trigger.

Tony felt something hit him in the middle of the chest, forcing its way through his skin, muscles, bones and organs. He fell backwards, seeing light hit his eyes painfully, but that was nothing compared to the pain he was feeling in his chest. "Help!" He called out and tried to reach for something… or someone.

But suddenly everyone was gone, and he wasn't even at the club anymore. It was silent and blackness creeping closer to his dying body. No one… no one could, or would help him. He was alone… alone to die, thinking of his past and all the things he had done. Thinking about his parents, not knowing if they would be proud of him or not. His father would probably just find mistakes and tell him to redo it. But his mother, she would say that she loved him and that she was proud of him. Wouldn't she?

Then it was Pepper… dear, sweet Pepper that looked after him so well, doing everything he told her to do. She was there for the few occasions that he felt lost and alone. Telling him that he could stop anytime he wanted to and she would be there and help him. But he never stopped. He continued to drink, sleep around and make weapons. He was a disgusting playboy.

The pain grew bigger in his chest, but the rest went numb. He needed to find help. He wasn't done living yet… he needed to fight. Hands, white as death, appeared in his vision and moved closer to his dying body. Were they there to take him to hell? He belonged there after all. But he had to fight, he had to survive. The hands got closer and Tony started to panic, one hand was almost touching him and he let out a scream…


Tony shot up to a sitting position, sweating and panting, the world spinning for a while until he managed to calm down. He looked around and felt safe to see that he was still in the Malibu mansion. He looked down to see a deep sleeping Loki, lying on his side, facing away from him. Tony climbed out of bed, grabbed a pair of sweatpants and pulled them on before opening the balcony door carefully, making sure not to make any noise to wake his sleeping boyfriend. He walked out to the terrace and sat down in the middle on the huge, round sunbed and crossed his legs. The genius looked out at the dark ocean before him, feeling the night breeze dry the thin layer of sweat that had been on his face.

It had been months since he had that exact dream. It never changed and it was equally terrifying every time. Sure, he had dreamt other nightmares as well, but this one sure hit the spot every time. He didn't realize until now that he hadn't dreamt it since he met Loki and wondered why it had come back to haunt him. Maybe his mind thought he was too happy and needed to remind him of what he had done in his past. Because that's what the dream did, making him feel guilty and sorrow for what he had done to innocent people, all for his own selfish gain. The genius dragged a hand through his messy hair and sighed. The adrenalin in his body made it impossible for him to go back to sleep, but all he wanted to do was to curl up next to Loki. What stopped him was that he knew himself so well that he knew that he would probably twist and turn the whole night and he would only disturb his boyfriend's beauty sleep.

"Love?" The silken, yet worried voice washed through him and he felt himself relax by just hearing it. "Are you alright?" He asked worriedly.

He turned to look at Loki, who stood in a pair of boxers and the genius shirt hanged loosely over his shoulder, his hair hanged loosely around his face and moved like a dance in the wind. He looked stunning, sexy and beautiful. "I'm fine, go back to bed." The genius lied and tried to hide the small sorrow of denying himself to hold or being held by his boyfriend. He shouldn't bear the weight of his problems after all.

But Loki saw through his lie and walked over to him anyway, grabbing a thick blanket that laid on one of the normal sunbeds and sat behind the genius, his long legs on either side of his boyfriend, moved him up the sun bed so he was leaning against the back and Tony lay on top of him and wrapped the blanket around them both. "You had a nightmare?" Loki asked and rested his chin on the billionaire's shoulder, holding him close to his chest.

The genius sighed and nodded, loving how he relaxed in his arms, so much that he could fall asleep if he wanted to. "Yeah, it's stupid, so nothing to bother about." Tony lied again, knowing Loki would see right through it.

"Tell me about it." Loki said calmly caressed his boyfriend's stomach with one hand. He noticed how long Tony was silent and knew he wasn't much for telling about his demons. "My mother told me that if a nightmare is told out loud it won't come back." He told him and nuzzled his nose into the thick, brown hair.

Tony let out a shaky breath and leaned his head closer to Loki's, wanting more of that silken voice and his warm breath on his skin. "This isn't the first time." He started and took one of Loki's hands in his and entwined their fingers. "It's starts with reliving the moment when I got shot… then when I'm hurt and I need help I find myself alone in darkness. I think about the people I disappointed and how much of a failure I am. I always wake up when death pale hands are coming out of the dark, probably wanting to take me to hell, but I never get there… I always wake up." Tony tells him, feeling one single tear falling down his cheek, but he ignores it. It felt like a release to tell Loki about the dream, to have someone else picture it and maybe understand what made him so afraid.

"Are you afraid of dying alone?" Loki asks calmly, hearing the waves from the ocean hitting the rock walls beneath the mansion.

"I guess I am." Tony said and gave out a nervous chuckle, feeling the arms around him tighten. They sat in silence for a bit, just relishing the safe feeling of being so close and the sound of the ocean. But then something Tony wanted to ask Loki came to his mind and he though, better now than never. "Tell me about Odin." He said quietly.

Loki tensed for a second by just hearing that name and it was how his body reacted that made the genius ask. "Why?" Loki asked after making his body relax.

"I want to know what he did to you." Tony answered him, absently playing with his boyfriend's fingers.

"You already know what he did to me." Loki tried, but he knew that Tony wanted more details. It had been a long time since he went back into hurtful memories and he was proud of himself to manage to stay away so long.

"I know he made you hide who you really are, but I want to know how." Tony explained and looked up at Loki, who was lost in his mind, reliving moments of his life he wanted to forget.

Loki cleared his throat, if there was someone he could tell it was the man lying in his arms. "We fought a lot." He managed to say, emerald eyes locked with chocolate brown pools. "It was mostly verbal… but a few occasions he hit me, telling me that he would beat the gayness out of me." Loki told him, biting then inside of his cheek in attempt to hold back tears. "After two months of verbally insulting me, he told me I was adopted and that he only adopted me to show the world he cared for children." He couldn't hold back the tears that were hurting his eyes for freedom. Tony pulled away and turned to face him, stroking away the tears. He looked angered, sad, but there was a lot of love in there, only for Loki. "Kiss me." His voice was shaking, but he needed it. He needed to feel loved and wanted. He needed to be remembered that he was doing the right thing that everything he went through wasn't for nothing.

Tony placed a knee between Loki's legs and leaned closer until his lips gently connected with Loki's, moving slowly, synchronized and lovingly, putting all their feelings for each other into that kiss. Tony's hand placed on Loki's chest, right over his heart, feeling it beat for him. They parted and rested their foreheads on one another. "I love you." Tony whispered, his breathe washing over Loki's skin and into his slightly open mouth.

"I love you too." Loki answered and caught the other's lip in another loving kiss. He needed more. He was addicted to the lips that belonged to Tony.

Tony moved Loki so he lay down amongst the pillows that surrounded them, the genius himself laying down beside him and the blanket over their bodies as he continued to kiss his lover, just kissing and hands feeling the other's skin on their chest. Loki's fingers traced over the skin around the reactor like feathers, feeling his genius shudder from the touch. They parted and snuggled close to each other, legs entangled and arms around each other, never wanting to let go ever. They fell asleep under the stars, hearing the soothing sound of the oceans waves and each other's slow breathing.


Loki was the first one to wake up when the sun was on its way up, making a beautiful light blue colour the sky above them. The waves still had the same rhythm against the rock wall, but now you could hear seagulls scream in the sky and that was probably what had made him wake up. He still laid beside Tony, facing him, seeing his peaceful face as he took slow breaths in his sleep, lips slightly parted and his hair moving in the light morning breeze. He couldn't help but stroke his cheek lightly, feeling the stubble from his goatee.

The genius opened his eyes slowly and they locked to beautiful green pools that always took his breath away. A warm smile on Loki's lips as one finger traced the line of his genius bottom lip. Tony let out a slow breath, feeling that he wanted to wake up like this every day. It didn't have to be on this sunbed, it could be in a bed or a couch. As long as Loki was there beside him, it would be perfect. "Move in with me." Tony whispered out so low that Loki wasn't sure if he heard it correct

"What?" He asked a bit shocked and he felt something inside him similar to hope that he had heard right.

"Move in with me, please." Tony said with a normal tone, looking deep into his boyfriend's eyes. No, regrets and no doubts, he wanted this.

Loki propped himself up on his elbow and looked down at his genius. "You don't have to beg, Tony. I just… I just don't know what to say." He answered and dragged his free hand through his hair to get it out of his face.

"You could say 'Yes, love. I would love to move in with you'." Tony said in a surprisingly good English accent and a cocky smirk in place.

Loki smiled at him. "Isn't it too soon?" He asked and started to play with the hem of the shirt he had on.

"I don't know. We have been officially boyfriends for 23 days, but I count from the day I took you for coffee for the first time which is exactly 2 months ago today." Tony told him and took his hand and started to play with his long fingers.

"Most couples have been together for 6 months before they move in together." Loki stated with a smirk.

"Yes, but we are not really like most couples, are we? I mean, this is the longest relationship I've ever had and this is your first real relationship ever." Tony acknowledged and kissed the long, pale fingers. "Besides, you spend more time at my place than at yours anyway and you have been living with me for the past week." The genius said with a genuine smile that only Loki was allowed to see.

Loki chuckled and nodded. "I have, but that was because we thought Thor was coming back for us, so it doesn't really count. And no, we are not a normal relationship, but we could at least try to be in one." Loki stated and poked Tony's nose.

"But I want to wake up with you next to me every morning." Tony pouted and looked at the long fingers he was still holding.

Loki was just about to answer when he heard his phone ring from the master bedroom. "I'll be right back." He said and got up to get it. He found the phone in the pocket of his trousers he wore last night and saw Natasha's picture on the phone. "Hello, Natasha." Loki greeted, wondering if he should tell her about what he and the genius was discussing.

"Loki, you have no idea what just happened?" Natasha sounded frantic, but happy.

"No, I don't, because I'm in Malibu." Loki said sarcastically.

"Clint asked me to marry him." Natasha said and Loki felt a warm feeling in his stomach. He walked out on the terrace again and found the genius just like he left him.

"Congratulations, darling. I'm happy for you." He got onto the sunbed and lay down close to his genius, who wrapped his arm around him and played with his hair and looked curious.

"But can I go through with it. You know my parents will never allow it." Natasha stated sadly, reality catching up on her.

"I know you want it and he makes you happy, go for it." Loki said determinedly. He locked eyes with the genius for a second and suddenly understood what he meant with wanting to wake up every morning together. "In fact, as a wedding present from me you'll get the apartment." He said and no doubts at all. Tony looked at Loki with wide eyes, but a huge smile on his lips.

"Are you telling me that you are moving in with Stark?" Natasha asked him and he knew she was smiling.

"Yes." He said to both of them sort of because he could see in Tony's eyes that he needed that word, that word that will make it official. The genius leaned over to him and kissed him deeply.

"For fuck sake, not when I'm on the phone." Natasha growled loud enough that even Tony could hear and both men just laughed. "Clint suggested Vegas." She then said and sounded troubled.

"I thought you didn't even want to have a real wedding, so why not?" Loki asked and smiled at Tony, stroking his goatee.

"I don't, but I still want you to be there and Stark if he wants." Natasha said and sounded sad.

"I'll promise you that we will be there." The genius nodded, knowing now what they were talking about.

"We want to do it as soon as possible, so my parents will find out too late." She said, knowing that Loki and Tony will stay in Malibu for three days as a vacation.

Tony could hear their conversation now when Loki was so close to him. "We'll meet you in Vegas tomorrow if you want?" He asked, knowing she could hear him.

"Would you do that?" She asked hopefully.

"Of course, I don't want my boyfriend to miss his best friend's own wedding." Tony said with a smirk.

"I'll text you where we can meet you. Bye." Natasha hanged up. She was always like that. When she had a mission she didn't care if she was rude.

"So, you are moving in with me?" Tony asked again, having the cutest smile Loki had ever seen on him. Loki only nodded and leaned closer to him, placing his lips on the genius and they kissed deeply, lovingly and passionately. In the end, they didn't care if the cleaners could see them. Loki sat on top, feeling full with Tony inside of him and rode the genius like there was no tomorrow.