The Muckraking Foulander Knows a Secret


End of major edit: You will notice that the rest of this story has no titles. It is undergoing a major edit to make it more readable and to add titles to make it easier to navigate. Please be patient. I am working as quickly and efficiently as I can.

I am working on 10 chapters at a time and will post them in the same manner.


It's been months since Tseng went out of his way to reserve an elaborately decorated room for me, and since that day, he comes and goes.

He claims he did it because it was the only thing he could come up with that might encourage me to stay out of his house, and often times, I don't see him for days if not weeks, and I find myself searching for him only to find that he's on a job somewhere. Though he never tells me when he goes, and although part of me suspects it's because he feels he doesn't need to, another part knows it's not personal.

He's still hot and cold with me, pushing me away whenever he becomes uncertain. Though he's even distant when he isn't pushing me away, and with each fallback that we have, he becomes less willing to open up. He's defensive and outright protective of what he keeps inside, and when he feels humiliated, he can turn outright vicious, almost like he feels violated and he needs to protect himself in the only way that he knows how.

I believe I've discovered the key to his warmer side though, and despite that it doesn't unlock everything, it appears to bring progress. He likes to be pampered, even though he won't admit to it, and massages grind his stone exterior down to sand, often melting him regardless of how sharp he can be at times. It's one of the few things that will often get him to open up enough to surprise me.

He's short with his words when he opens up, most of the time, and he still refuses to tell me anything about his father even though I don't know why I press. It's almost like he fears he'll tell me too much and wind up regretting it, which he often does, and he still doesn't trust me for reasons I can't blame him for. Often times, during his visits, we only wind up holding each other, rarely progressing to anything beyond that. But I don't mind since it's his company I find I've become addicted to, and maybe even the mystery to what makes him tick.

However, I have to admit that sometimes I wind up feeling stormier than I did before he visits, especially when he plays his strange games with me. Though sometimes I wonder if I'm simply mistaking his actions for something I want them to be, or maybe I'm just wanting more than he's willing to offer. Either way, he leaves me confused at times, particularly when he appears to flirt before shutting the door.

He's not the type to play around though, and maybe I'm using the wrong words to describe the temptation that he is, or the addiction or whatever he's become to me. He's become so dangerously taking that I find myself becoming more dangerously protective of him, if not threatening over harmless situations and angering him by making him think that I'm telling him he's incapable of taking care of himself, or the fact that he thinks I don't trust him, particularly when he's around Reno.

But I have my reasons, regardless of whether Tseng's conclusions are correct or not, and regardless of whether he's right about me behaving the way that I do because of what happened with Lucrecia. Unfortunately though, I can't help it, and even if Reno behaves the way that he does around him simply to lure me out of the woodwork, it still doesn't change the fact that I want to wring his scrawny little neck.

Nor does it change the fact that it worked either, which is the reason I haven't seen Tseng for a few weeks now, and it's also the reason that I'm staying in a room above Tifa's bar instead of the room that he keeps for me.

Though I don't think my appearance was what Reno was after at the time, nor does he even remember, considering that I attacked him from behind. And to make matters worse, it wasn't really me that assaulted him, which was partly the reason I honoured Tseng's request to leave, and I walked away with my head down, regretting that I couldn't turn back the clock.

However, I have no idea why Chaos attacked Reno. All the redhead did was jump on Tseng in a protective manoeuvre when he thought he heard gunfire, although it turned out to be one of their old vehicles backfiring. Nor do I even know why Chaos listened to Tseng, or why it felt like it was shrinking back like it felt it did something wrong when Tseng yelled at it to get off the unconscious Turk, and I find myself replaying it over and over as many times as I can as if I can use it as some type of punishment for all the things I can't control.

It, I think, before I wonder what else there is to call the beast that lives inside of me, unable to see it as anything other than a curse just like I might be to Tseng.

None of it should matter though, even though it feels like it does, and it's not just Reno or Tseng's closed nature that add to the reasons I chose to honour his request.

It's the dreams.

The dreams never stop.

Instead, they only become more confusing as if Tseng is woven into a delicate web that branches into directions I never thought possible. From exotic to sensual, and from terror to nightmares, he's seen, witnessed, and even participated in things I never would have imagined, and he behaves as if none of its ever happened. He even denies it when he's confronted about it and laughs at me like I've lost my mind, only to accuse me of digging up dirt so I can persuade myself to feel like I'm not dishonouring Lucrecia by being with him.

"Go ahead and leave then," he'll say, before he'll dig the needle in as far as he can and add, "Find yourself another replacement."

He says that when he has no other ammo to use. He'll fall back on Lucrecia, making me wonder which one of us is more obsessed with her at times, despite our different reasons. He sees her as the bane of all evils, more vile than Hojo, and he never forgets that I've called her name while having intercourse with him, often leading to an unnecessary dispute that ends with either one of us leaving.

But he always takes me back, although he never succeeds at getting me to do the things that he wants me to do, and although I never let him do the things that he wants to do, almost like he needs to suffer as much as I do by depriving himself and feeding into the guilt that I can't bring myself to let go of.

Though it's not so much the struggle that we have with each other, or the inner conflicts that accompany them that keeps bringing us back together. I'm not really sure what the real reason is except that he makes me feel more alive than I've felt in a long time, despite the dreams that he still doesn't believe in…

And I shake my head at the fact that I've fallen back to the dreams again, and the fact that the last one is still fresh in my mind, and that it ended with the snow like it always does. And it always confuses me over what symbolism it carries, if any at all, or what type of premonition it could possibly be warning me of.

He doesn't believe me when I try to tell him about it though, and he always pares it down to the fact that he thinks I'm suffering from some form of psychosis. He thinks it's brought on from all the losses I've suffered in the past, and a part of me wonders if he's right. I wonder if he's right about me fearing a repeat of the things I could never change simply because the pattern fits with everything else in my life.

Best not to dwell over it, I tell myself, and I frown over the fact that I'm still lying in the old bed that Tifa offered to me, and the fact that I've been sleeping for more than two days straight. But I've done it ever since Nibelheim, off and on, hoping that I can will time to go by faster by not acknowledging it, and hoping for an end that never comes.

And now I'm doing it again. Only this time, it's to ease the fact that I can't be near him, and I wonder how or why it even happened.

Maybe it was the fact that he seems more like a companion than anything else, and I feel connected to him on more than one level. And maybe it's the fact that most of the time he only wants to be held that makes me feel like there's more to him than the cold-blooded Turk that I originally thought he was.

But none of that matters now, and although I can't seem to pull myself any farther away from him than Edge, maybe we're both better off. I'm not a big enough fool to believe that we belong to each other, or to even believe that either of us ever let go of what we had in the past, and he still keeps the last gift that Sephiroth ever gave to him. He holds onto it like a shrine and I still toy with the chain around my neck like I am now.

Give your head a shake, I tell myself, wondering why I always choose to walk this path and I put the chain back under my shirt while leaving my hand over it, despite how much I want to forget about it, and I tell myself that I should go back to Kalm.

But I can't, not when I know what kind of stubborn streak Tseng suffers from and the fact that he won't tell anyone that there's anything wrong with him. It's what keeps me here, believing that he needs someone to protect him, and frozen in the limbo of promising to stay away and not being able to leave, even though I know he'd be upset if he knew how much I've been keeping track of him.

And if it wasn't for the sudden high energy knocking on my door that causes me to get up, I'm sure I'd be able to drop myself further down this hole that I keep digging myself into.

At first, I think its Tifa, worrying about me like she always does and checking up on me to make sure that I'm all right. But I suppose her concern is justified since I haven't come out of the room for several days now. But when the constant and rapid knocking continues, speeding up and becoming more impatient, I come to the conclusion that it's not her and I lower my head, thinking that I'm not ready for this right now.

And when the clear and slightly higher than normal pitch calls out, "Vincent? Vin? Are you there?"

I think, 'Kjata,' and I step back as if I can physically dissolve in hopes of avoiding what's on the other side.

"Hey. If you're sleeping, you should wake up! You can't sleep your life away, Sleepyhead."

There's a short pause after she speaks, and I almost hope my wishes have been answered, hoping that she's left even though I know better than to believe in something like that while her second wind becomes more energetic.

"C'mon, Vinnie… Open the door. There's so many things to do… So much to see, and with me standing on the other side, how can you not want to open the door?"

Right, I think, and I nod before I gather the courage to deal with the overzealous ball of energy on the other side. It's like taking off a bandage, I remind myself. Do it quickly and the worst part will be over. And with that thought in mind, I take quick steps to the door and grab the handle, cringe, shake it off, and open it to be assaulted by arms, open wide, that suddenly wrap around my neck as a small and light body jumps into my arms.

"Yuffi," I grunt as I move quickly to grab her and make sure she doesn't fall or hurt herself in her automatic reaction. Then I stiffen slightly when her mouth hits my cheek to give a welcoming peck, "I thought you were in Rocket Town."

"I was," she tells me before she leaps back to the floor with an unwavering energy and studies my surroundings with large brown eyes, full of life and a mind that never stops ticking.

"But Tifa told me you were staying here, and I said, 'What? What's he doing in Edge?' And she said, 'I don't know. He seems a little down.' And I said, 'That's our Vinnie!' Then I decided, 'Well, if our good friend Vin is down, then who better to cheer him up?'"

The whole time she's talking, she's swinging her arms, talking with her hands, pacing, and punching the air for emphasis. And I find myself musing over why it's no wonder she's as tiny as she is. There's no possible way for her to gain any weight with the way that she bounces all over the place.

"Me!" she exclaims, with bright eyes before she abruptly turns and nearly hits me by the way she swings her arms. Then she clasps her hands under her chin and twists her body like a bonsai tree while staring at me with stars in her eyes.

"Me…" I repeat, forgetting what the hell she's talking about until she takes the liberty to remind me again.

"I'm here to cheer you up!"

Kjata, I think.

"I don't need anyone to cheer me up," I flatly tell her before I grab my holster from the bedside and put it on, mostly out of habit. Then I shake my head when I suddenly realize how much I sound like Tseng when he tells me he doesn't need anyone helping him. And I think, 'Kjata,' again.

"Now see?" she tells me, as she steps up behind me and wraps her arms around my waist, peering up at me with doe-like eyes from behind my shoulder. She reminds me of a child in size, even in mentality, and I almost smile about the innocence of it, "It's things like this that tell me you do!"

Then she nearly crawls her body over my arm as if she's afraid I'll run if she lets go, and she wraps her arms around it while leaning back to tug me along with her.

"C'mon, Vinnie. The nights still young."

"Vincent."

"What difference does it make?" she asks, reminding me of Tseng's careless disregard when she rolls her eyes before she tugs on me again, "Besides, how can you say 'no' to joining me while I dine on fine foods and fine drinks and tell you about my latest adventures?"

"Very easily," I tell her while she continues to tug on my arm and I let her make some headway without making it seem like I'm giving in. I could use the distraction, I think, and I decide that it's probably the best thing for me right now.

But when we get to the bottom of the stairs and enter Tifa's tavern, I begin to think that it wasn't such a good idea after all.


The place is unusually packed, and just as we make it to the entrance near the back, the door to the front swings open, revealing in appearance, a very loud redhead, an eager blonde, an intimidating bald man, and a mysteriously exotic looking Wutian.

I almost feel a lump rise to my throat as they walk in as if they're a single entity, despite their unique and trademark movements that make them all seem as separate as they are whole.

Turks…

"Aw. What're they doing here?" she asks, sounding bummed out, as she would put it. But it's not enough to ruin her evening as she shrugs it off and yanks on me when I inadvertently take a step back, suddenly wanting to go back upstairs before I'm noticed.

But no explanation comes to mind to justify my sudden need to disappear as Yuffi does the same thing Elena does, and looks for a table while Rude looks straight at Tifa and walks toward the bar as if he's already made up his mind about what he's going to order. Then there's Reno, who's managed to notice me from the moment he walked in, and he just stares at me only moments before Tseng sees me staring in their direction with my heavy bangs covering my eyes, making it difficult to see where my attention is.

Only Tseng doesn't focus like Reno does. Instead, Tseng's dark eyes immediately snap to the girl clinging to my arm like she's my date for the evening. Then his lips slightly purse. Though it's hardly noticeable and he instantly turns his attention to an empty table near where they entered.

"What about that one?" he asks Elena, who didn't seem to notice it as she continues to scout the room for a table with enough seats.

"Sir?" she asks, before she stares at the window and the door in confusion, "I thought you didn't like being that close to the door."

"I'll make an exception," he tells her before he quickly walks to it and sits down with his back to the tavern, like he couldn't wait to get me out of his sight and causing Elena to shrug in confusion and follow suit.

Meanwhile, Reno takes a moment more to stare at me with a strange smirk on his face before his eyes slyly fall to the young Wutian hanging onto my arm like I belong to her.

"Ooh. I hate them," Yuffi mutters as she stretches her thin neck and looks for a table as far away from them as she can, "hate them, hate them, hate them…" Then she yells across the tavern to draw their attention to us and makes me want to shrink back even further, "Shinra scum!"

"Just find a table," I mumble into my mantle, now that I've shrunk back about as far as I can. Not that it should matter though. They just ignore her anyway. They're probably used to being heckled everywhere they go and everyone else seems to be used to it as well. Even those that tiredly look either at the Turks or at us, or both. They seem almost bored of the vexations while the most intimidating one of them stands at the bar like he heard nothing and orders three pints of beer and a glass of water.

"Water?" Yuffi suddenly repeats, obviously overhearing him, and she turns to look at the intimidating Turk with her mouth screwed in disbelief, "Are you guys that cheap?"

Then she steps forward while Rude professionally ignores her and starts walking back to their table. Unfortunately though, it only seems to be ammunition for her and she calls after him while being ignored again.

"You have to buy three and water them down so the four of you can drink?"

"Yuffi," I lowly growl, and I pull her back with a gentle tug, almost making it look like I'm hanging onto her before I notice that Tseng can see me in the reflection of the window he chose to sit in front of. However, if I didn't know any better, I'd go so far as to say that he looks jealous, and I suddenly wonder if I should just let her start the riot she seems to want to start simply so I can prove that she's not his replacement. Not that it should matter though, since he's the one that asked me to leave.

"I'm in no mood to protect you from getting killed tonight."

"Are you kidding?" she asks as she spins around to face me. "Are you seriously serious? Do you actually think I can't handle these clowns?"

And before I know it, Tseng is suddenly standing at the bar with his water and coolly commenting that, "Perhaps you should take the boy outside. Cool him off." Then he turns to Tifa and holds up his glass. "This glass is dirty. I'd like to request a new one."

"BOY?" Yuffi yells, obviously offended while she nearly slips away and I have to grab her more tightly to hold her back. In the meantime, the rest of the tavern grows quiet and Tifa cautiously nods before taking his glass and giving him a new one.

"Sorry about that," Tifa apologetically tells him, and out of courtesy, he bows his head and tells her, "No worries," before placing a fair amount of gil on the counter for the trouble. And not once, does he even attempt to look at me. Nor does he even appear that he wants to. But he's not going to ignore the young Wutian by my side and he walks up to us before looking down at her and smirking.

"Apologies," Tseng politely says, bowing to her and making me wonder what's possessed him to act so civilized all the sudden.

Of course, that's before he opens his mouth to agitate matters more.

"I almost forgot. It was years ago that I last saw you."

Then he smirks and nonchalantly takes a sip of his water, and adds after he's done, "With such a youthful appearance, I find it hard to believe that you've grown into the young man that you are today. I should have been more considerate about calling you a boy."

"Ooh! You… you… sexist… PIG!"

Apparently I'm not the only one seeing the sparks fly. Nor am I the only one who wants to avoid them because Reno is suddenly standing next to Tseng's right and gently trying to urge him away by placing his hand on Tseng's shoulder while the other two come up behind him in support.

"We should go, Man. There's plenty of other places we can get inta trouble at."

But Tseng doesn't listen.

Instead, he's decided to continue with the uncharacteristic and childish name-calling that he and Yuffi have started with—in Wutian—and I'm partially grateful that most people in the tavern have no idea what they're saying, if not all of them.

I'm also beginning to question my earlier assumptions about Tseng being mature since right now, he's stooping even lower than Yuffi by digging up dirt that none of us have ever heard before. And although her reactions state that they're true, it stops neither of them from digging into inappropriate secrets of one another's past, suggesting that they might know each other slightly better than either of them have let on.

Wutai's a small place though, and I remember what Tseng told me about the tight nature of it when I begin to wonder where either of them are getting their degrading stories from.

From Yuffi being the Wutian tramp he's accusing her of being by sleeping with men so she can steal from them, and Tseng being the Wutian trash she's accusing him of being by being the son of a…

"Rapist!"

Kjata, I think, hoping that it's not true as those that can understand them fall silent, and Tseng stares blankly at her, silent as everyone else and lacking any hint of what's going through a mind that's dangerously capable of doing anything.

"What did you say?" he chillingly asks, too calm to be convincing as if he genuinely didn't hear her, although he's unhealthily paled from what I can only assume is humiliation.

"Rapist," she repeats, unwavering and refusing to falter, "I'm not the one whose mother had to run to the hills because she decided to keep the bastard son of a man that raped her!"

He only blinks twice, and slowly. He doesn't even quirk his brow as if it would crack the stone expression it's turned to. Then without any sign of warning, he backhands her, hard enough to send her flying to the floor and pulls out his gun while cocking the safety back.

"Wutian devil!" he hisses, still in their native language and with fires burning dangerously in his hate-filled eyes.

Unfortunately though, his unpredictable reaction is enough for me to pull out my own gun from nothing more than instinct, knowing that he's probably more capable of killing her than he is of wounding me.

"Shit!" is the only other thing I hear—coming from Reno—along with, "Oh no," from Tifa, as the barrel of Reno's gun aims dangerously at me.

Neither Turk is using their usual weapon of choice, making me seriously doubt that they're anything but serious in their intentions as Tifa's tavern cautiously clears out as quietly and unnoticeably as it can.

"We don't want no trouble," Reno says, no shake to his voice and a conviction in his eyes that states there will be trouble if that's the only choice he's left with.

"Then put the guns down," I tell him, making it clear that there's going to be a mess if anyone fires.

But it's more complicated than that, since Tseng is still somewhere in the burning pits of his own self-hatred and being threatened by another lover over someone he suspects he's lost them to. Though nobody knows that part and it's only an assumption on my end. However, the fact that he didn't look at me once since they entered and is still refusing to look at me, tells me that he might have thought there was still something between us, only to be crushed by whatever he thinks is the reality of the situation.

"Tseng… Man…" Reno starts. Though he keeps his eyes cautiously on me while Tifa warily comes up behind me and Rude and Elena carefully come up behind them, "I think ya should put the gun away… No one understood what she said… We should jus go."

"I'll say it in Midgarian then," she spitefully interjects, disguising stupidity with bravery as she pushes herself up and rubs at her cheek, "Son of a-rmph—!"

All I can do is wonder why everyone I know has a death wish while I hope that the hand I've roughly placed over her mouth is enough to keep it shut.

"That's enough," I tell her, wishing I didn't have to and coming to terms with why he always avoided the topic, or even turned harsh whenever I asked him about his father. Meanwhile, Tseng's attention suddenly snaps to me like he's just noticing my gun now.

"I'd tell you to control your pet," he coldly says before he smirks and looks me up and down as if he's never seen me before. Then he taps on his cane with his other hand, suggesting what he thinks is a suitable course of action before adding, "but I should know better than to expect a savage to properly deal with a muckraking foulander."

He puts his gun away then, possibly coming to the same conclusion as everyone else, knowing that it's not worth it before he returns his attention to Yuffi, unable to hide the sting from what she said. But he says nothing. Instead, he only stares at her, unreadable. Then he turns and brushes past the others to make his way out, struggling to salvage and regain every sense of dignity that he pretended to have to begin with.

I can see the cracks though, minuscule as they are, and I keep my hand over Yuffi's mouth while both Reno and I put our guns away, coming to a silent truce and the others leave, following Tseng.

But the redhead stays behind, and all the while, he keeps his eyes locked to mine in a conniving manner while I hang onto the rambunctious youth to keep her from getting into any more trouble.