AN: Well people, midterms are over! Party time!!! -Dances- I think I did really great on them, but I won't know for sure until next week. I have a long weekend ahead of me, due to having Friday and Monday off, so expect another chapter before Tuesday. I'm actually not proud of this chapter at all, because it seems kind of awkward to me. I'm sorry, if I need to I can edit it later. But it's helping the plot progress at least, so it's not that important. Reviewers!
Immortal Fisheh
Faye Silo
dark and light heart
Tsuzuki Misaki
Tomiko90
Kev the She-Wolf
weary seer
PhinMaginONLY
Smiley Smackdown
rebecca2200
Pirate2Love
SutZina Zion
carefreecat
Nate River18
Riku-Stalker
Faeries-Landing
animeroxz
Dead Bassline
shad0wOFn0th1ng
I got more reviews this time around, which really boosted my self-esteem. I really hope yo uguys like this one, but if you don't that's okay because the next chapter will be better.
Oh, and a question for any Scrubs fans out there: Do you know if Dr. Kelso ever mention's his son's name? I want to do a story with him in it, but I need to know if I need to make up a name or not. Help me out, please.
Disclaimer: I don't own it
Time stopped, or at least slowed down, I'm sure of it. The world narrowed down to a pinprick in which Sora and I seemed to be the only inhabitants. The raindrops even seemed to stop flowing, if only for just a second that felt like a lifetime. And for a moment, things were completely perfect. It was heaven to hold his small frame in my arms, to have the one thing I've been wanting for as long as I can remember.
But sometimes things just don't work out the way we want them to.
I become slowly aware that his small arms were pushing at my chest in a desperate attempt to pull away. I began to panic as the reality sunk into my brain:
I was kissing Sora, but he wasn't kissing back.
Desperately, I doubled my efforts, hoping that I was wrong, hoping that somehow my mind was playing tricks on me. I wanted this to happen…no, needed it. There was no way Sora could be rejecting me. No, it couldn't be…
I found myself dazed as a blow landed on my cheek, knocking me over on the small doorstep. My mind barely registered that Sora had hit me as I lay there, too stunned to move.
Sora entered my line of vision, kneeling in front of me, his eyes bright with worry and an underlying fear.
"Riku?" he said softly, leaning back slightly as if afraid I would attack him. "Are you okay?" He reached out a hand tentatively to shake me gently. I grasped it with my own, holding it against my shoulder. Startled, he tried to pull it back, but I only held on tighter.
"If I said I loved you," I said softly, staring up at him pleadingly, "Would that change anything?"
Sora's eyes blinked confusedly. "What…? I don't understand…"
"I love you, Sora," I repeated emphatically, sitting up and holding his hand to my cheek like a treasured item. "I've loved you for so long now and it's been…it's been so hard seeing you with her. I can't stand it." I squeezed his hand. "Please, you have to understand."
Sora shook his head dazedly, the look of confusion still evident.
I brought the hand I still held to my mouth and kissed the knuckles gently, staring into his eyes, willing him to realize what I was telling him.
I almost died when he flinched.
I began shaking and released the hand from my grasp, feeling like I had lost a piece of myself in the process. He had rejected me. It was over.
"Riku…" Out of the corner of my vision, I saw a small hand reach towards me again. I batted it away, keeping my gaze trained on the ground.
When he tried again, this time I struck with more force. "Don't touch me!" I said with more venom than I originally intended. I couldn't stand his touch right now. Every little thing he did, every comfort trick he tried to perform, it was because he was my friend and he cared about me. But being his friend wasn't enough anymore.
"Riku, please…" Sora begged, "Please, talk to me."
I lifted my gaze from the ground, fixing him with a steady glare. "You want me to talk, Sora? You want me to tell you what's wrong with me?" I hugged myself. "You can't understand Sora. No matter what I tell you, all it will do is drive you farther and farther away."
"That's not true…"
"No?" For some reason, his claim made me angrier. "You remember when you slept over a few nights ago? How about this little nugget of information: I jerked you off in your sleep. And we both loved it. You were moaning and thrashing around like the little bitch you are. And the only reason I didn't fuck you right there, Sora, the absolute only reason was because we're friends."
I anticipated the slap before it came and braced myself when it did come, but I was still slightly surprised by it. Surprised enough, at least, to retaliate.
I punched him in the stomach, winding him and making him fall back on the soaked ground before starting to run. I needed to get away from that place, and it didn't matter where. I couldn't stand facing the reality right now.
As I ran, I began to think. I had stupidly confessed my love to my best friend-or, by this time, former best friend-and he would surely hate me for it. It just wasn't fair. In only a few days, things had gone so wrong. Why was I so stupid? Why couldn't I be happy to have Sora as my best friend? Why did I have to fuck everything up?
And most importantly, why couldn't Sora love me back?
I don't know how long I was running, but I do know that by the time I stopped there was a stitch in my side and I was in an unfamiliar neighborhood.
I shivered violently and wrapped my arms around myself, suddenly realizing the temperature and the fact that I didn't have a coat.
I wandered about a bit before finding a makeshift shelter made out of tin in an alleyway. I quickly crouched inside, grateful at least to be out of the rain.
I was still shivering, since I had gotten very wet before and had nothing to keep my warm. Desperately, I rubbed at my arms, trying to warm up. But I could barely feel the contact, and it did little good.
I'm going to die, I thought. I'm going to die out here, in the rain, with Sora hating me and my family worried. I felt a few tears roll down my cheeks. I didn't want to die…hell, nobody did.
I pulled my knees up to my chest, trying to retain as much body heat as I could, all the while overly aware of how nobody was out today. How long would it be before somebody found my body if I died?
I buried my face in my knees. I felt tired suddenly. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to sleep…just for a second…
"Hey, what are you doing in my house?"
I was jerked out of my doze by a screeching voice. I looked up blearily to find a blonde boy standing in front of me, his arms crossed in annoyance. I almost jumped out of my skin when I realized it was Tidus, that hustler I had met.
"I-I'm s-sorry," I said, trying to still my chattering teeth enough to form a coherent sentence. I try to stand up, only to be pushed back down.
"Hey, you're that one guy aren't you?" Tidus said, grinning. "Come back for another round?" I glared up at him and tried to stand again. Once more, he pushed me down.
"Don't leave," he said, sitting down beside me. "It's not often I have company. So, did things work out with that Sora guy?"
Ignoring the question, I looked around at the small barely-shelter. "You-you live h-here?" I stammered.
Tidus shrugged, still grinning. "Yeah, I know it's not fancy. But it's home. It's a place of consistency to come back to." He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me towards him. I felt a little better because of it, and knew I was too weak to fight him off anyway, so I allowed it.
"So, what brings you here?"
I sighed. I was hoping he wouldn't ask. "I had a fight with a friend…"
"Sora?"
"Yeah…"
"What happened?"
"I told him I loved him."
Tidus studied my face. "Is that it?"
"No…" I sighed again. "I think I got a little out of control, and I crossed a line." I explained what had happened, and at the end Tidus let loose a low whistle.
"That is pretty bad," he said, nodding as if agreeing with himself. "What are you going to do about it?"
I shrugged. "I don't know. By now he probably hates my guts. I'm scared to face him," I admitted. "I wish…we could be more than friends."
Tidus began toying with my hair. "Well, Riku, I can't see that happening unless you make things clear. It seems to me that you shocked the poor boy and then left because you were angry at him for being confused. Now tell me: If someone kissed you and then confessed their love to you, would you be able to take it in stride?"
I could see his point, but I didn't respond. Maybe I had been selfish, maybe I hadn't been fair, but there was no way I could stand the looks I was sure to receive from him from now on. It would be too painful, and I was sure I wouldn't be able to go on living.
"Hey, isn't that him now?"
Startled, I looked up and found Sora standing over me with an umbrella. I looked around and found Tidus-and the shelter-gone, with Sora being the only one around. He handed me a jacket, which I took gratefully and wrapped around myself.
"I was worried about you, idiot," Sora said, glaring down at me. He held out a hand, which I accepted readily, and hauled me to my feet. "Don't ever do that to me again."
I stuck my hands in the jacket pockets as I walked beside him. "Are you mad at me?" I asked quietly.
"Of course I am!" Sora fixed me with another glare. "I was out half the night looking for you, and every corner I turned I was afraid I'd find you dead or worse. Do you have any idea how scared I was?"
I ducked my head ashamedly, but a small smile was on my face. He had been worried about me. He had come looking for me. He was here, beside me, making sure I was okay. I didn't deserve him; as a friend, or as I truly wished him to be.
Still smiling, I slipped an arm over his shoulders. "I'm sorry," I said. "It'll never happen again, I swear."
"It better not," Sora said, his glare faltering to be replaced by a watery smile. I felt my heart jump and sighed. Maybe there was hope, after all.
