This chapter has been edited. I has also been moved before Running. I apologize for any confusion that may cause.

A Reminder: this is a work of fiction. I do not own nor profit from Stephenie Meyer and her Twilight series. Nor do I own any of her characters. If I owned Jasper I would be rich beyond my wildest dreams.

The title of my story is from the song, "Objects in the Rear View Mirror May Appear Closer Then They Are" which is performed by and belongs entirely to Meatloaf. Although there may be some similarities to the lyrics, the plot line is strictly my own.

WARNING! This story is rated M for a reason. There will be strong language. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! If you are not old enough to understand what the words mean, stop reading NOW. As always, this story is written from Jasper's POV unless otherwise stated.

Chapter 6 - Poor Edward

EPOV

I don't know what I was thinking last night. How stupid can one person be? I know that I over-reacted, but shit… I lost everything yesterday, everyone. Yeah, hind-sight is 20/20. I think I could have handled everything if I just wouldn't have tapped into dad's one and only bottle of whiskey. But it was calling me. It was there…I was there. Jasper hated me…Bella is going to out me to all my friends at school…I'll probably get kicked off the swim team…my folks would be ruined if it got out that I was gay. What else was I to do? Well, I fucked that up too. Can't even kill myself properly. Who knew I was supposed to cut with the vein and not across it. I'm an imbecile. I must have passed out after that. Never did like the sight of blood much. I don't remember anything until I was here. Wonder how bad I bled? Shit, I hope mom doesn't have to clean up my mess. I gotta do that. I can't put that on her.

OK, looking back, maybe a little melodramatic, but how could I take the chance. I mean, it is all my fault. I'm the one that pushed Jasper away and made him hate me. Hell, he couldn't even stand to have me in his room last night. The look on his face…I will never forget the look of absolute loathing, and the way he tried to pull his hair right out of his head when he looked at me. I am dirt. Nope lower then dirt. Now what do I do?

And mom…how could she slap him? That sure caused a screaming match after he ran out. I've never heard Jay's mom utter words like that. Even when his dad was still around, she never cussed. Besides, this isn't Jasper's fault! What was she thinking? I DID THIS! Not him, never him. God, I love him…but I can't say that any more. I hurt him so bad when I said that to him. I know he will never forgive me. How could I think he would understand? I came out of left field with this one. I gave him no warning, no explanation. I pushed him away for months, and then I confess my undying love! What an idiot. I tried to explain it all to mom, well, not the gay stuff, but somehow I just couldn't say anything right to her. I hate that I hurt her. I wasn't even thinking about consequences. I just figured, fuck, get out of the way and then no one gets hurt. I'm a first class, blue ribbon idiot!

Bella. What was I thinking about when I got with her? It seemed like the right thing to do at the time. I mean, all the guys were talking about how great she was. And they kept asking if I was "gettin' any." I was not about to tell them I was a virgin. Hell, I'm 16 years old! That makes me look queer right there! And Jasper. I was sooo lucky no one saw my boner in the locker room that day. I just had to keep away from him so that didn't happen again. Problem was, sometimes just thinking about him made me hard. I'm really fortunate none of the guys caught on to that shit. The one time Mike thought he saw something, I told him I was thinking about the great time I was going to have with Bella that night! He bought it, hook, line, and sinker. Stupid shithead.

Bella kept after me until I said I'd go out with her. I figured a movie, or maybe the drive-thru. But no…she wants to go parking! When I couldn't get it up right away, she started talking trash to me. It's a good thing I could just close my eyes and picture Jasper when she gave me that blow job that first night, or I'd have been fucked, and not in the way she was hoping. As long as I kept my eyes closed and didn't think about Bella, I was able to fool her for a while. At least I thought I had. That is until she started telling me she was going to "expose my twisted secret" unless I played it up good. She said she had to have me on her arm because all the other girls thought I was hot. What a fuckin' bitch.

Jasper. I forget how young he is sometimes. Hell, he's just a kid. He acts old, sometimes older then me, but he's only 14. Why do I keep forgetting I am more then a year older then him? I am barely starting to figure myself out. How can he even know what he wants? I dumped my shit on him and didn't even explain it right. And why would he want me? I've been such a prick to him for so long. I even let Bella have at him. I could've stopped her, but I was too afraid of what she would do to me to even protect him. He didn't deserve what she said. I could see the confusion in his face, the horror, as she slammed him against the car, slapped him and called him names. That bitch! Something snapped in me after that. If it is the last thing I do, I am going to make her pay for putting her filthy hands on him. I'm glad, no matter the consequences, that she is no longer in my life.

Now Jasper's gone. He ran out and no one can find him. If anything happens to him, it is my fault. This one is squarely on my shoulders. I didn't protect him. I put all this bad shit on him. It hit him out of the blue. He couldn't have even seen it coming. Shit!

There is supposed to be some kind of psych doctor coming to talk to me. Mom said they won't let me out of here until I tell him everything. Well, guess again. Not happening. The last thing I need to do is tell even more people how fucked up I am. I'll give him just enough to get me free. I'll just tell him I got loaded and didn't know what I was doing. Ya know…kinda like a black out or something. He won't care. Probably has to talk to all kinds of fucked up kids every day. I'll give him just enough to escape this place. I can be real convincing when I want to be.

Course, I don't know what I am going to do about Bella. Good thing it's the weekend and she can't get to everyone at school until Monday. I've got to think up something by then. Jasper is always telling me how smart I am. I know I can figure something out. Just have to get my head clear enough to think. I gotta apologize to mom and dad too. I'll just tell them I broke up with Bella and kinda lost my head. Just freaked out. She was my first girlfriend. I sure don't have to tell them she'll be my first, last and only one! I gotta keep all this gay shit under wraps for now. If dad's business associates find out… And mom's friends, I bet they will ostracize her or something. I hope Jasper won't say anything. Course, it would serve me right if he does. Maybe he's so disgusted with me that he will out me. Maybe I don't even have to worry about Bella doing it.

Jasper. I sure hope they find him soon, before he gets himself into trouble. He's been picking fights lately, lots of them. It's probably my fault. Hell, I left him with no one. I shut him out of my life. I threw him away like some old trash. I just hope one day he lets me explain. I did a really shitty job of that last night. If he ever talks to me again, well… I hated the look on his face after mom slapped him. Before he ran out, he looked so broken, so confused. Poor kid. Score another point for my side. I won't have to kill myself, everyone else will do it for me.

Man, I'm tired. A hangover and all this bleeding sure takes a lot out of a guy. Maybe a little rest and then I can clear my head.

EPOV (3 hours later, lunch time)

How can they call this shit food? It is really bad! No wonder there are so many sick people…hospital food keeps them in here!

(Knocking on door)

Uh, Oh… What now?

"Yeah?" Wow, who in the hell is he? Man, he's cute!

"I'm Doctor Cullen. I'd like to talk to you for a little while, if that is OK with you."

"Um, yeah, sure…" Cute dimples, wow, beautiful eyes.

"So, Edward. Seems like you've had a bad few days."

"Um, yeah…" Idiot, way to show your intellect! Shit, he's good looking! Gorgeous blonde hair.

"Would you like to talk about it?"

"Um…" Ok, brain in gear, brain in gear. Words out of mouth. Brain in gear. His smile is killer! Look at those arms.

"Can you tell me a little of what happened?"

"I'm gay and I slept with Bella and I ignored Jasper and Bella and I split up and Bella is really gross and she hurt Jasper and Jasper hates me and Bella is going to out me at school and I drank dad's liquor and sliced my wrists and I told Jasper I love him and mom slapped him and he ran out and no one can't find him and did I tell you I'm gay…" Oh, shit!