AN: Well, this took a while to write. I kept procrastinating, but at least I'm about 500 gaia gold richer! XD Oh, I'm looking for anyone willing to do any fanart of this story. If you do, I will love you forever! And if you're going to, leave me a message at my Deviantart account, which you can get to by following my homepage link. Reviewers!

Immortal Fisheh

Faye Silo

dark and light heart

Tsuzuki Misaki

Tomiko90

Kev the She-Wolf

weary seer

PhinMaginONLY

Smiley Smackdown

rebecca2200

Pirate2Love

SutZina Zion

carefreecat

Nate River18

Riku-Stalker

Faeries-Landing

animeroxs

Dead Bassline

shad0wOFn0th1ng

enix-XIII

13loves8loves9loves6

luckynumberseven77

Shoushin Tenshi

lL0tus

Someone has done fanart already, on Deviantart, and if you wanna see it just go to my account. It links right to there. Oh, some awesome news! I got the Garden State soundtrack!! Garden State, if you haven't seen it, is an awesome movie! It was written by Zach Braff, directed by Zach Braff, stars Zach Braff, and the soundtrack was produced by Zach Braff!! That alone makes it awesome, but the plot is so good, and as a tragedy writer I can say it definitely upheld that even though it was a sort-of romantic comedy. Check it out if you haven't seen it please.

Oh, and due to recent events: A moment of silence, please, for Heath Ledger. He was one of the best darned gay cowboys, bad boys, patriots, and creepy clowns I ever have seen. (Okay, I don't know about the last one since I haven't seen it et, but apparently he's supposed to be good in it) He will be missed.

And there's no point in keeping it a secret: Next chapter is smex.

Disclaimer: I don't own it


Mom took me to the park to play a lot. Sometimes I was alone, but usually there were other kids who would let me share their toys or who would participate in a game of tag.

One day, there was only one kid there, playing in the sandbox. A woman who seemed to be his mother sat perched on the edge of the bench, ready to swoop down and save her precious chick if anything should happen to him.

He looked to be about my age; 5 or 6. His hair was as brown as chocolate and his skin was tanned, which seemed to mean he was out here a lot. Funny, I had never seen him before.

I looked up at my mom, whose hand I held. She gave a small nod and a push towards the sandbox. I took a few reluctant steps forward, and plopped down into the light brown substance.

I sat a good distance away from the other boy, eyeing him warily. He looked up at my gaze and I found myself gazing in wonderment at how blue his eyes were. He grinned broadly and handed me a small red pail filled with sand.

I accepted it, stunned. The pail was in the shape of an upside-down castle turret, so I upended it into the box below us. Unfortunately, it didn't hold its shape and ended up as a small mound.

I was sad that my attempt at a castle had failed, but the other boy only laughed and started filling the pail up again. I helped and soon it was full again. Then the boy turned it over and made another mound.

He was laughing like it was the funniest thing in the world. I was staring at him, wondering at how he could get so much joy out of it.

Suddenly, there was sand everywhere. I noticed that the other boy had started throwing it in the air, still laughing. I felt a smile form on my face and joined him until it was sticking to our skin and peppering our hair.

His mother put a stop to the fun by asking him if he wanted to go home. He nodded and grabbed my hand.

I found myself smiling once more.


I awoke in darkness, the contents of my dream still buzzing around in my head. I found it funny that I could still remember that day. It had been over 10 years ago.

I remembered that after that, Sora and his family moved in next door. It had been a coincidence of course, but it struck me as funny how much fate had worked in our favor.

I glanced at the digital clock on my bedside table. The numbers 3:47 cut through the darkness like a knife, burning my eyes. It was way too early to get up, but I knew I would never get back to sleep. I needed to get up and do something.

I crawled out of bed and grabbed some sweatpants and a dirty t-shirt. I hadn't been jogging in a long time, and I figured now was as good a time as any.

I snuck out into the misty dark as quietly as I could. It was eerily quiet and dark, like a ghost town. I suppose that was to be expected, since any sane person was sleeping right now. It still made me uneasy.

In my experience, jogging is a good time to think. There's only the steady sound of feet hitting the road and the feel of wind rushing by. It's a consistent act that leaves room for dazing off while your body does all the work.

As per usual, my thoughts turned to Sora. But this time, they ranged more in the fight we'd had yesterday. I had been so close…and he'd pushed me away. He'd teased me with the knowledge that he had desired me for years and then cut me down by saying he would rather be with Kairi.

It was a circumstance that made me want to cry. Like they say, so close and yet so far; that's what Sora and I were. If only he hadn't settled for Kairi, maybe it would be me…maybe…

I shook my head. I was sick of all the maybes my life had become. Everything was a maybe, there wasn't much I could claim to have that was truly mine. I had such high expectations for everything.

Maybe Sora was right. Maybe I needed to forget about him and find someone else. I cursed. There they were again, those damn maybes.

I concentrated on my run, looking around for any sign of life. I was sort-of looking for Tidus in any of the dark alleyways I reluctantly ran past. I wanted to know how he had disappeared so quickly like that before. I hadn't really thought about it at the time, since I had been slightly distracted, but it was in the back of my mind, niggling at my brain.

I finally went home, maybe an hour later. I had climbed up the stairs, ready to go inside and take a shower, when I heard a soft voice say my name.

I looked around and found Sora standing at the bottom of the porch stairs, avoiding my gaze awkwardly and cradling a bundle of clothes to his chest as if they were the most precious things in his life.

My mood dropped. "What do you want, Sora?" I sighed.

He flinched almost imperceptibly. "You…you forgot your clothes at my house yesterday," he said holding the bundle out to me. He looked up to meet my gaze and for a moment I was drawn in again by his mystifying eyes.

Shaking my head, I slowly descended the stairs and snatched the clothes from his hands, brushing against his skin as I did so. I caught the small shiver, and if I had been in a better mood I would have smirked in triumph.

"Thanks," I mumbled, turning back to head inside.

"Wait!" I turned around. Sora had climbed up a few of the stairs. He looked nervous again. "Are-are we okay, Riku?" He stared at me, his eyes pleading. "We're still friends, aren't we?"

I turned away, grasping the door handle. "You know, Sora," I said evenly, "I just don't see how we can be."


School seemed to drag on. Maybe it was because I didn't have Sora around to break up the monotony. But I refused to let myself be sucked in again. I knew that if I let him think we were okay, things would only repeat themselves. I would believe we were okay, and make another pass at him. I would get stepped on once again. To quote a certain brunette, this way everyone would be happy.

This morning when I had come into school, Kairi had seemed pissed. She didn't tell me what was wrong, but I figured it out when Sora finally came in and she started screaming at him.

Apparently, he was supposed to meet her yesterday and he never showed. Well, of course he didn't. He was with me. But I hadn't known he was supposed to be anywhere, and he certainly didn't say anything.

I suppose I should have felt guilty, but with the way I was feeling right now it was hard to.

Sora seemed out of it today. I couldn't honestly tell whether it was the fight he and Kairi had had, or if it was because of what happened yesterday. I guess it didn't matter. Selphie told me later that he and Kairi weren't speaking.

It was only a few days later that I heard they had broken up. Information that should have made me elated instead had no effect on me. And that face, that broken expression he had, didn't faze me a bit. Or so I told myself.

It's hard to stop loving someone so suddenly, even after the blow I'd taken. And as much as I told myself I hated him and was over him, the truth was that it was agony watching him suffer. I wanted to be there to comfort him, to help him through this. But I couldn't make myself do it, and for that I hated myself.

On Friday, Sora didn't come to school. Kairi seemed to hang around me a lot, and I noticed after a while that she was flirting. That struck me as odd. Kairi had never shown any interest in me before. Then it hit me: She was trying to get back at Sora. She was trying to make him sorry he'd ever done anything wrong. I considered it, but knew I would never have the energy to uphold that kind of thing.

Home was better, kind of. Mom and Dad were in separate rooms now, and usually didn't interact unless it was necessary. And thankfully, when they did, they did their best not to start fighting.

They informed me that night that Mom was going to be moving, and I was going with her. We weren't moving very far, just far enough so that she and Dad wouldn't have to deal with one another. Larxene technically wasn't part of this, since she was over 18, but she said she was staying with Dad so he wouldn't be all alone. This made me sad, since Larxene had always been there for me to talk to when I needed it, but she said I could always come over as much as I wanted. Mom and Dad weren't going to have a custody battle over me, for which I was very thankful.

Going to bed that night, I realized how weird it was that my nights were numbered in this room. It was only a matter of time before I would be under an unfamiliar roof, far away from the house I often watched outside my bedroom window to help me get to sleep. It was a depressing thought, I guess.

But, I thought, maybe this would be a good thing. This would help me get over Sora. I wouldn't see him in the morning if we "accidentally" left for school at the same time, I wouldn't be tempted to look at his window and try to catch a glimpse of any movement inside. No, this could definitely be a good thing.

As I was dozing off, a creak in the hallway jolted me awake. I laughed nervously to myself. No need to worry, I thought, it was just someone going to the bathroom. I closed my eyes again and snuggled against my pillow.

Squeak. There it was again, closer to my room this time. I began to get a little scared, and still tried to fight it down with rationality. Probably someone going downstairs for a late-night snack. No big deal.

I heard the gentle swish of my door opening against the carpet, and the soft click as it closed again. My heart beat at twice the normal rate. Even if it were Mom or Dad or Larxene, they wouldn't have closed the door.

Even over the sound of my heart pounding in my ears, I could hear the sound of every unsteady step the intruder took towards my bed. And somehow, I found myself unable to move. I was frozen in this position, unable to make a sound, to call for help, anything.

I felt fingers brushing through my hair and that seemed to wake me up. I fumbled on the bed so that I was sitting upright in a sort-of fighting stance, ready to take down my would-be attacker. But I didn't get a chance to, because a body barreled into my chest, knocking the wind out of me and sending me flying back on my bed.

I would have panicked, had I not recognized the mess of spikes.

"Sora?" I whispered uncertainly. He spikes moved in an undeniable nod. I sat up into an upright position and pushed Sora away from my chest to take a look at his face.

He definitely didn't look his best. Even in the dark, I could tell his eyes were read, and there were tearstain tracks down his face. Unable to stop myself, I pulled him back into an embrace and stroked his hair. Wetness on my neck informed me that he had started crying again.

"What are you doing here?" I asked softly. No berating, just curious.

Sora sniffed loudly. "I had to see you," he said, his voice trembling. "I…I don't want us to fight, Riku. You're always the one I turn to when I feel awful." He took a shuddering breath. "This whole situation between us, and the thing with Kairi…it's just too much." He pushed away to look me in the eye, ignoring the tears still streaming down his face. "I'll be anything you want me to be," he said truthfully, "Just please stay by my side."

I was a little shocked by all this. In all the time I'd known Sora, he had never seemed the type to break down like this. But maybe it was because I had always been there for him.

I'll be anything you want me to be.

Of course I knew what that meant. He would be with me, because it's what I wanted, and he needed me. I knew it would be selfish to accept that offer. I knew I should refuse. But for some reason, I didn't. This might be my only chance, and no matter how much I knew it was a bad thing, I also knew turning it down would be stupid.

I wiped the tears away from Sora's face and laid back, pulling him down on top of me so that his head rested on my chest. I pulled the comforter over both of us and continued stroking his hair in a soothing, melodic manner until he fell asleep.

As for me, I didn't sleep a wink all night.