This chapter has been edited and moved after Poor Edward to help the flow of the story. I apologize for any inconvenience this may cause.

A Reminder: this is a work of fiction. I do not own nor profit from Stephenie Meyer and her Twilight series. Nor do I own any of her characters. If I owned Jasper I would be sporting a smile that would never leave my face.

The title of my story is from the song, "Objects in the Rear View Mirror May Appear Closer Then They Are" which is performed by and belongs entirely to Meatloaf. Although there may be some similarities to the lyrics, the plot line is strictly my own.

WARNING! This story is rated M for a reason. There will be strong language and adult situations. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! If you are not old enough to understand what the words mean, stop reading NOW. As always, this story is written from Jasper's POV.

Chapter 7 – Running

JPOV

So here I am, out on the streets in the city. I've been wandering for what seems like hours. I'm 14 years old, dressed in an old T-shirt and pair of ripped jeans. No coat, no ID. It is chilly and I have no money. I have no one who will help me. I have a fucked up brain with Father's voice running through it. I'm an idiot, and I am soooo fucked right now.

I can't seem to turn off my head. Every thought just keeps looping through, over and over. I could go back. But then what? Maybe they won't even want me back. I destroy everything I touch lately. I think everyone is better off without me screwin' up their lives. Maybe Father wouldn't have been such a prick if he didn't have me to discipline. Maybe mom and him would still be together. And Eddie, maybe he would be OK now. Maybe he'd still be with Bella. Course, she is a real bitch and he's probably better off without her. I bet he wouldn't have tried to kill himself if I could have just done something, said something better. Fuck!

So, food. What in the hell am I going to do? I haven't eaten since yesterday at lunch and I realize I am fuckin' starvin'. I know I can fight if I have to. Hell, I'd even enjoy punchin' someone right now. But I've never stolen anything. If I end up in jail they'll just call mom. I need to eat, but I can't get caught. What in the hell am I going to do?

"Excuse me sir. Would you have a few dollars I could have?" He looks like he has money. Nice suit. Nice shoes.

"Fuck off kid. Go home to mommy!" Right, no help there.

"Thanks for nothin', prick!"

Shit. I am really fucked. Sure wish I woulda eaten breakfast today. Oh yeah, right, Eddie. Hospital. Shit!

I'm sitting on a picnic bench in a little secluded neighborhood park, next to the woods, head in my hands, when this guy walks up to me. He kinda gives me the creeps with that twisted grin on his face. His hair is greasy and his clothes are dirty. He's a big guy, beefy, maybe 250, 300 pounds, but hey, I'm tough. No sweat. He just sits next to me but isn't talking. Weird. We must have sat there for fifteen minutes or so, but neither of us seemed inclined to talk first. Then he shifted even closer to me, until his thigh was touching mine.

"Hey, pretty boy. What are you doin' here?"

"None of your fuckin' business." I tried to move away but he grabbed my arm.

"Oh. Tough kid huh?"

"I could kick your sorry ass." He put his other hand on my face, ran his fingers down my cheek and grabbed my chin. I couldn't even look away from him.

"Sure ya could. Course, where would that get ya?"

"Leave me the fuck alone, perv." I tried to shrug him off, but he wouldn't budge. His fists are even stronger then Father's. I couldn't get him off me!

I musta pushed him too far with my last comment. Before I could even blink, he had me on my back on the ground between the table and the woods, with his hand on my throat. I felt his other hand travel down my body, pinching my nipples through my t-shirt and grabbing the waistband on my jeans. His legs were straddling mine, pinning me to the ground. I tried to wiggle out of his grip, but he was just too strong. Sure glad mom wasted all that money on self-defense classes and Karate. NOT!

"Listen pretty boy. You should learn some respect for your elders. Cause if you talk real nice to me, help me out a little, maybe I'll give you a few bucks. I could take real good care of your pretty little ass. I saw you pan-handling over there. This is my territory and you don't fuck with my territory unless I allow it. Got it?"

My hands were clutching his hand, trying to rip it away from my throat, but I was getting light headed. He's too strong for me. He leaned over and licked my face, first my cheek and then my chin. He forced my lips open with his tongue and then stuck it into my mouth. His spit was running down my face. His other hand was messing with the buttons on my jeans. He got them loose and reached into my pants, into my boxers, grabbing me roughly. I wanted to yell at him, scream at him to get off, but his hand on my throat was so tight I couldn't breath. Panic time! What in the hell am I doin' here? Oh my God, after all the times Father beat me, even put me in the hospital, I'm going to die here, at the hands of someone I don't even know! Some child molestin' pervert. What is he going to do to me? I hope he kills me first. If he forces me to… Oh God not that. Please…not that! What am I going to do? I can feel his hand stroking me, grabbing my nuts, pumping me. My vision was starting to fade. I am seeing spots in front of my eyes. No oxygen! His hand is so tight on my throat! I'm going to drown in his spit. Help, oh help, please someone. Mom will never know where I went or why I didn't come home! Eddie, oh Eddie, please be OK for me. Please get better! Mom, I'm sorry mom! Oh God, I promise to be a better son, a better friend, if you get me out of this! He is going to rape me. I am going to die, I just know it. Things were getting fuzzy, going black. Oh my God!

Suddenly, I could breathe again! I grabbed my throat, coughing and sputtering, trying to get air into my lungs. I attempted to scramble away from him, on my back, my legs pushing for all they were worth, but he stood over me with his foot pressed into my stomach. He wiped his mouth on his shirt and then scratched his balls.

"Ya hear me kid. You stick around, you play by my rules. Am I clear?"

"Yes sir. Yes sir, I understand. I…I'll leave. I won't mess with your territory," I croaked out as loud as I could.

"Then git the fuck out a my sight! N O W!" With that, he kicked me in the ribs and sauntered off laughing, still scratching and spitting.

I crawled into a sitting position, clutching my side and gagging, holding my sore throat. When I could get to my feet, I took off running, clutching my pants to keep them up. I could still hear him laughing. I ran until I couldn't, and then collapsed up against a brick wall. Where in the hell AM I? Shit, shit, shit, shit! I don't know how long I sat there sobbing, but eventually I calmed down enough to fasten my pants, wipe the spit and tears off my face and take in my surroundings.

Is that the hospital? I must have run in a circle! Thank God! Maybe someone up there is lookin' out for me after all. All I have to do is get my shit together. Maybe…

I sat there, looking at the building until it started to get dark, going over and over in my head what happened yesterday, today. Can't believe it was only yesterday that Eddie was in my bedroom. He looked so small in that hospital bed. Why did he hurt himself? It was me, wasn't it? Maybe I can help him. He's my best friend. Maybe…

Thoughts kept swirling around and I kept coming back to maybe… If I get my monster under control, maybe… If I am a better friend to Eddie, maybe… If I'm a better son, maybe…

Yeah, maybe there is hope. Maybe I'm not as big a screw up as I think. Maybe it's time to quit running away. Maybe it's time to tell mom about Father's voice in my head. Maybe…

The next thing I knew, I was jogging towards the hospital. I've got to see Eddie. I've got to start fixin' all this shit. It is up to me. I'm stronger then Eddie, I can help him. I'll take care of him and we'll figure all this stuff out.

The nurse at the front desk told me where Eddie was, and I snuck down the hall, still not sure if this was the right thing to do, but I had to do something. When I crept silently into his room, his eyes were closed and he was alone. I sat in the chair by the bed and just watched him sleep. He looked so pale, so tired. Those bandages on his wrists, how could he do that to himself? He is so smart, so good. He has everything to live for. Why would he try to take that all away? White bandages, pale hands, purple vein in his elbow…I must have been concentrating really hard because I didn't notice his eyes were open until he spoke to me.

"You came back."

"Yeah, well, I couldn't let your skinny ass get all the attention."

"Jay…"

"Listen, Eddie. I'm sorry I did everything wrong. I didn't want to hurt you."

"Jay, I…"

"No, please Eddie. Please let me say what I gotta before I lose my nerve. Please."

"OK"

"I shoulda listened when you wanted to talk. I shoulda told you what I was thinking. But I was so confused. I…I…You took me by surprise when you told me you were…gay. I just needed to think, but I went about it all wrong. I never meant to hurt you." I could feel my tears, but I didn't care. I didn't need to be so strong all the time. I just needed to make sure he heard me.

"Jay, I did kinda spring that on you. I was just so scared that you would look at me like I was crazy or sick or something, and then you did. But I had to tell you. I just didn't know what else to do."

"I know Eddie, but I shouldn't have thrown you out like I did. I really thought that you would be better off away from me. I'm not good like you."

"What do you mean, not good?"

"Eddie, I got this monster inside. I can hear Father's voice sometimes, just like he was still here. I hurt everyone. I can't seem to stop sometimes."

"Oh, Jay…you don't. You are the bravest, strongest, nicest kid I know. There is no monster."

"Yeah there is Eddie. You just don't know. I've never told you…or anyone. I'm so fucked up inside. Sometimes I think Father lives in my head. I know if I turn around real fast he will be standing behind me. Sometimes I can't stop thinking bad shit. Sometimes I just need to hurt people."

"I…I don't know what to say. Will you let me help? Will you let me be there for you?"

We were so intent on our conversation that neither of us heard the door open. The next thing I knew, I was being crushed to my mom's chest. She was sobbing into my hair.

"Jasper, oh Jasper, I was so worried. Where did you go? I didn't know what to do. I couldn't find you."

"Mom, it's OK now. I'm OK. I'm sorry I worried you." I realized I was sobbing too. But it felt so good to be in her arms. I saw Mrs. Masen go to Eddie and hold him. They were both crying too. Suddenly, I realized maybe we would make it. Maybe I would make it. Maybe…maybe there is hope after all.