Modeoheim
"Nnnmmm…"
My own groans partially wake me enough to know that I'm moving as I struggle to open my eyes and try to look at the dimly lit surroundings, wondering if I'm right about assuming I'm surrounded by steel. The smell and sound of an engine along with voices from a direction I can't discern tells me that I'm not the one that's moving though…
It's a box, I think… metal…
The metal box is moving and I'm inside of it.
There's the odd rough bump that slightly lifts me from the floor, emphasizing a dull throbbing throughout my limbs, and the smell of dirt and fuel attack my senses, making me nauseas as I become more aware that I'm being transported. I can't seem to focus though, and every time I think I can make things out, a glaring light assaults my eyes with a sharp pain. It makes me wonder if there are trees or buildings blocking the light from an opening of some kind from time to time as I'm transported through the unknown and I hear a faint groan as if it's close to me. It causes an anxious knot to form in my gut.
I can't seem to make anything out though. So instead, I reach over to feel something beside me, warm and breathing, almost evenly, and I think I start to lowly growl as if I'm whining when an unforgiving pounding in my head suddenly becomes intolerable…
The only relief that I can find is by closing my eyes and attempting not to focus on anything, and then I start to feel dizzier and more ill the moment I start to wonder what the hell happened…
But…
Sleep…
Sleep is all I can think of and focus on…
Sleep makes it all go away…
If only it could make the dreams go away too…
Black water, shallow, spreads across a vast horizon mirrored by black skies with no depth. The only contrast is the pale and flat pebbles that show beneath the surface and the pale mist that rises and moves above the water. It's almost like glass, as still as it is. But unlike glass, it doesn't seem to reflect anything, not the mist, and not me, only the enveloping darkness
It remains that way when I take a step and remind myself that nothing real lives here, not even the torturous scent of lavender that suddenly catches my attention…
"Forgive me…" I mutter, suddenly aware of the events that passed; the ones that possibly put me wherever I am now and a strange emptiness becomes overbearing when I realize that this void is more reminiscent and real than I want it to be.
Everything around me reflects what's inside as I walk on still water without stirring it and through air that carries no wind or breeze. It's just a vast ocean of nothingness.
But something starts to happen when the thought of nothing becomes concrete. The water below me starts to move, almost in the pattern of breath, back and forth and hypnotic, and I stare at it with a tormenting desire while suddenly not wanting to be as alone as I always thought I wanted to be.
"Help me…" I think I hear someone say. But it's too faint to be sure. It almost runs in time with the movement of the water before I question if I can actually hear the small waves that are growing more aggressively.
They almost speak to me and if I didn't know any better, it almost sounds like they're telling me that it hurts… and I suddenly wish I could will myself to escape this prison as the need to awaken and find him grows with the swelling expansion of the mist.
It dances and starts to swirl as if something is moving through it, attempting to control it before a thin stream of it travels into my mouth and leaves a subtle taste like sweet nectar that's almost intoxicating. So much so that I almost don't hear the sound of my name traveling like the waves of the water as this new sensation envelopes me inside and out.
"Vince…" it says. It's a male voice, weak and distant and behind a faint accent that it almost succeeds at hiding, and I tilt my head back as if being caressed by something comforting and familiar.
"Tseng…" I breathe out before I gain enough control to resist the almost rapturous state that promises to consume me and I reluctantly turn around to see what I interpret as a wraith of a man materializing from the water. It's a man that I allow guilt and an irrational infatuation to consume me over.
His skin is as pale as the mist that moves about him and he looks as cold and statuesque as the smooth pebbles below the surface. His eyes are as black and unreflective as the water, empty and contrasting against his ghostly appearance and almost telling me that I've started something that I can't stop.
Maybe I can stop it this time though. Maybe I can undo the unknown whether it needs undoing or not, and I instinctually start to move toward him.
Only I'm stopped in my tracks when something that I can't see stops me, like an invisible barrier that I can't feel although I can't seem to pass it. It's like the dreams of the snow, and I wonder while trying to convince myself again that none of this is relative.
"You're alive… I know you are…" I state while lifeless eyes stare back at me through loose strands of hair that almost look wet, and I feel chills run down my spine as a familiar and tormenting dark chuckle fills the air, mocking me as the mist starts to materialize into another figure, drawing into it like breath.
Sephiroth…
He stands behind Tseng, seeming bigger than he normally is and he wraps his arm around the Turk's waist to pull him back so he can cup the man's jaw with his other hand and hold his empty attention in my direction. Then he presses his cheek against Tseng's and coyly smiles at me, more conniving than Reno is capable of.
"I almost had him," he tells me, smooth like a purring cat with its prey. "You almost gave him to me…"
"Almost…?" I repeat, a low husk that's barely heard as I say it like a question.
"Mm," Sephiroth answers and rubs his cheek against Tseng's to emphasize that he's playing a game that only he knows the rules to, "but he got to him first…"
"Him…?"
"He's done it before," Sephiroth says, still playing the cat as his hand slips through the front of Tseng's shirt and covers the wound that should have fatally killed him at the temple. But he shows no satisfaction or remorse over it, appearing to only want to draw attention to it as he tilts Tseng's head to face him as if the man is nothing more than a lifeless puppet while he continues to make me believe that this is nothing more than an amusing game to him, "But I don't mind the wait… something like this is worth it…"
Then he kisses the man, lightly, and looks at him like he adores him as empty as the figure in his arms is. It's almost like he prefers him that way, submissive and unresponsive as he brushes his gloved thumb along Tseng's jaw while watching me through the corner of his catlike eyes like he wants me to react. But I can't seem to react beyond the choking feeling that I can't seem to fight.
"Hm…" Sephiroth finally mutters, "I've always liked the fact that he could tell me without words… exactly what he wanted… His kiss…" Sephiroth purrs, "Demanding or submissive…" Then he turns to me and toys with an impish glow in his unnatural eyes and coyly smiles, "But you've never noticed… have you…? You should ask yourself why that is."
"What do you want from me?"
"I want you to open your eyes," he says, "and I want you to return him to me, safe… and sound." Then he wraps his arms more possessively around Tseng's waist and rubs his cheek against the other man's again.
"Why would I do that?"
"Because you have no will of your own," he answers, and he draws his eyes slowly from my head to my feet and then back as if he finds something amusing. "Which fate do you think would be worse?"
"I don't understand," I consequentially say, hoping and fearing that he'll offer some kind of answer to the puzzle that seems to continuously grow.
But all he tells me is, "Some things are worse than death …"
"Ngyah!" I call out when my body hits something hard and loud noises and shouting draws my attention.
Gunfire, I think, and the clashing of other weapons that sound like they're designed for contact are surrounding me, and I open my eyes to see wild, flame-coloured lights of varying hues flash through the small barred openings that I think should be near the top on the sides of the container that I'm in instead of at the top and the bottom while strong sulphuric scents invade my sense of smell.
It takes me a moment to realize that some kind of attack is taking place, and I take a quick look around the turned over container when I suddenly remember that there was someone beside me the last time I woke up.
"Mmmnnn…" he groans, and I mindlessly call out, "Tseng," when I catch a slight movement out of the corner of my unfocussed eyes.
But it's not him and I disappointingly mutter out, "Cloud," as I help him up when he attempts to move.
They must have taken him too, I think, without really knowing where it is that they were taking us and I quickly pull off my cloak so that I can use it to keep Cloud warm. Wherever we are, it feels like it might be cold and I don't think we have too much time if I'm going to take advantage of whatever surprises lay in store for us once we get out through the torn opening near the back of the container.
It looks like it was torn by a claw of some sort, and judging from the flashes that are dizzyingly lighting the inside without any pattern or length of time to allow me to see clearly, I'm assuming that it's large.
"C'mon…" I urge, keeping my voice low enough to not draw attention to us as I take him with me to the opening and pull on the torn metal as if it was paper in hopes of making the tear large enough for both of us to fit through, "We need to get out of here…"
Once the cold winds blast Cloud's cheeks and the reality of what's going on sinks in, he instinctively grabs his sword and stumbles as if he's ready to take on whatever battle he can't possibly take on in his present condition, and I find myself thinking of Tseng's stubborn streak when I tell him, "Not now…" and pull him back in hopes of getting us out of this mess unseen and no less for wear while taking note that there are no familiar faces around, not even the Turks.
All the while, I keep my hand near my gun as we stay low and attempt to get away from what looks like a Summon of some sort. I've never seen this one before though, leaving me with no name to give it, and judging from the amount of damage it's causing while one of the men that I don't recognize yells out, "Try to capture it!" I assume that it's possibly as powerful as a Neo Bahamut, or even a variation of it as I note that it has a similar dragon-like appearance to it.
Maybe it's an experiment gone wrong, I wonder, as I throw myself over Cloud and aim at it when it spots us in the cover of the nearby rock and forest entrance. But I don't fire and it quickly turns its attention back to the men it was attacking, leading me to assume that it's something personal as the Summon keeps everyone's attention away from us and I manage to get Cloud and myself into the safety of the woods.
"What's going on?" he mutters as his energy slowly comes back to him and the two of us continue to distance ourselves with the aid of the lights that the Summon is emitting while it continues to defend whatever it's defending.
"I don't know," I answer while silently admitting that I'd like to know. But at the same time, I have more important matters to tend to, like getting Cloud to Safety, finding out where we are, and finding out what happened to Tseng, and I find a sense of relief and hope from all of this madness when I spot what looks like it could be a town as we laboriously trek further through the deep snow and the unknown terrain.
As we approach though, my disappointment resurfaces. The town appears abandoned yet familiar in some way as I attentively scout the area for any sign of life, or even a food or water source for Cloud that isn't completely frozen.
"There should be an underground warehouse over there," he mutters and nods toward what looks like an old outbuilding. "It's underground… So it should be warm…"
"You know this place?"
"Yeah…" he answers, and then he stops and stares off to some mountain trails where there's a half-buried wreckage that looks like it was a helicopter and focuses on it like he's in some kind of trance. "We're in Modeoheim."
"Modeoheim?" I repeat and take another look at the vaguely familiar surroundings. Only the last time I recall seeing Modeoheim, both the town and myself were alive then. There were warm bath houses and cabins with warm fires, and resorts that catered to the ski and snowboarding trails that lead to the nearby town of Icicle Inn. But just like me, that life is gone now. Nothing looks like it was tended to for years if not decades, and the once welcoming glow of the town seems hostile and foreboding now, "What happened here?"
"Mako extraction," Cloud mumbles, still staring at the helicopter wreckage as if he's completely unaware of his surroundings, or maybe it's just the present that he's unaware of. "Rich source of Mako… once…"
"What's wrong?" I finally ask as his eyes slowly travel to the trails leading down to the town as if he sees something that haunts him.
"This is where I met Zack," he hypnotically answers.
Zack was a young Soldier that he admired and was friends with, and he was later bonded with him on a molecular level against his will, along with Sephiroth. It left him confused about who he really is or was.
"We crash-landed over there…" he quietly says while nodding at the wreckage and looking at it like he's seeing something other than what I'm seeing. "Tseng led the mission."
"Tseng?" I repeat, unable to hide the full interest in my tone and Cloud snaps out of whatever trance he was in to quickly glance sideways at me like he has a question that he either doesn't want to ask or doesn't know how to ask, and I suddenly lower my head, somewhat ashamed over my lack of control.
"Yeah…" he answers and slightly shivers, "He was different then…"
Then he turns back to the town and nods at the facility he initially pointed out, "We should get inside. It gets cold up here at nights… worse than Icicle Inn…"
"How different?" I ask, unable to focus on anything else that he said as I follow him and make no attempt to resist the urge to find out the things I've always wanted to know about Tseng.
"He wasn't as big of an asshole then," Cloud answers and shrugs as if he doesn't really know of any other way to put it. Then he snorts and mumbles that, "I remember overhearing him say that Aerith reminded him of his daughter once… That was why he asked for the job, whatever it was… But then again, I also remember watching him slug her hard enough to send her to the floor of his chopper while he gave Reno the orders to drop the plate on Sector 7… and I also remember him handing her off to Hojo…"
"I heard about that…" I mutter, somewhat thankful that I was still wallowing in my own tomb then. But I can't deny that it makes me more curious about him than I already am, "What changed him?"
"I dunno," Cloud indifferently answers, and he quickens his pace after he shivers again. Then he sighs and slightly shakes his head. "They all seemed to change after the Hollander incident…"
"Hollander?"
"It's what started the whole mess," Cloud answers and bitterly snorts, "and it sounds better than saying the other name…"
"What name?" I ask as we approach the entrance to what looks like a small building and Cloud kicks the door down. Then he tenses up and peers in as if he's expecting an ambush that doesn't exist—ever cautious. I can only assume that he's haunted by something as he stealthily moves toward an old railing that leads to stairs that are no longer there.
"Sephiroth…" he resentfully spits out. Then he jumps down to the lower level and lands in a cloud of dust with his sword readied, "I suppose you could say he wasn't really the one that started it though," he reflects, and adds in a more bitter tone than he was already speaking in, "Considering that none of it would have happened if it wasn't for Hollander and Hojo competing with one another."
"Hollander…" I curiously repeat as the word strikes me as familiar and I suddenly remember a scientist that Hojo used to work with. They were distant partners as I recalled them. "What did he have to do with it?"
"Sephiroth wasn't the only one," Cloud answers. "He was just the most damaging… If I recall correctly, there was three of them…"
"Three Sephiroth's…" I repeat while not really liking the sound of that.
"No," Cloud says. "They were all different… One of them actually managed to fight off the effects of Jenova… sort of…"
He trails off at that point and suddenly stares at his sword as if he's seeing it for the first time, holding it vertically in front of him.
"His name was Angeal…" he hypnotically says, like he never knew what the man's name was before. Then he almost looks confused and tilts his head to the side, "And he gave this sword to Zack…"
Instead of saying anything in regard to my own concerns, I simply walk up to him and stare at his sword along with him before my attention travels to him as he shakes his head and starts walking again. "The other one was the reason we came here… At the time, he was a greater threat than Sephiroth."
"I don't see how that's possible," I say, unable to hide the fact that I find it hard to believe as I follow him to another set of stairs leading downward and he tests them to see if they're stable enough to walk on.
"Mm," he mumbles and nods as if he approves and starts walking down. "If it wasn't for the degradation he was suffering from, he probably would've been an exact match. He was also the most competitive and seemed to want everything that Sephiroth had, regardless of whether he really wanted it or not…" With another sarcastic snort, Cloud mumbles that, "They were supposedly the best of friends…"
"Everything that Sephiroth had…" I repeat, suddenly thinking about Tseng with some newer concerns to add to the old ones.
"Yeah…" Cloud mutters and sarcastically snorts again. Then he stops and looks around before offering a short nod to say that this is as far as he needs to go. "But Genesis never struck me as having the same interests as Sephiroth…"
"Genesis," I reflect, and I wonder if I'm just being paranoid about the way Cloud seemed to emphasize the word, 'interests,' like he knows or suspects something that he isn't elaborating on.
"Mm," Cloud mumbles and starts picking up pieces of broken wood that are scattered about. "That was his name."
Then he nods over at some more piles of wood scattered against the walls and assumes that, "We're probably going to need a lot… I've got some food in my pack," before he pauses and appears to withdraw inward and mutters, "or maybe not," as he turns his attention to me and stares at me like he suddenly remembered that I don't need warmth or sustenance.
But there's also some questioning in his eyes as he stares at me for a moment longer before he shakes it off and throws the wood in a loose pile and mutters out, "Fire," to ignite it. Then he throws my cloak back to me and sits down while quietly stating, "I doubt he's dead."
"Sephiroth?" I ask as I numbly watch him and completely fail to notice that he even threw my cloak at me.
"No…" Cloud answers, still keeping his back to me as he digs through his pack for some food with a strange disinterest in the whole situation, and then he clarifies that he meant, "Tseng…" before he takes a bite of what looks like a piece of cured meat and struggles to chew it back.
It's almost an hour before either of us says anything again and Cloud looks for ways to make himself comfortable while I stand with my back against the concrete wall with my leg bent high enough so that I can rest my foot against it. The whole time, my mind constantly wanders in ways that I've personally designed to torture myself with.
It doesn't even seem to bother me that Cloud is acting more indifferent than he usually does either, and it's probably mostly because I've come to the conclusion that he's somewhere that he doesn't want to be and that he probably suspects that if it wasn't for the state that he's in and the questions I struggle to hold back on, that I probably would have left in pursuit of my own agenda already.
Unwanted memories are the one thing I've become an expert on though, and despite the nagging questions about what Cloud knows about Tseng, I decide that it's probably best to wait for a more appropriate time. Though I wouldn't stop him from saying anything that he can tell me about how he remembers him as I remain quiet and in the shadows, constantly hiding from everything and nothing.
But it seems that Cloud isn't as oblivious as I'd like him to be and once he's gotten a makeshift bed set up, he starts talking again, almost like it's not really him. Not once though, does he bother to look at me and not once does he make the effort to raise his voice to accommodate our distance as he reminisces through times that carried less burdens.
"There was a rumour about them…"
"Who?"
"Tseng and Sephiroth…" he quietly answers. "But I never believed it."
Then he turns and looks at me like he's questioning it and I wind up lowering my face behind the safety of my mantle while he silently draws his conclusions over recent events.
"I assumed it was mostly because they were roommates and because Sephiroth had a reputation."
"A reputation…?" I repeat while Cloud throws some more wood on the fire and shrugs.
"They were just rumours… about him and other soldiers… but the fact that Tseng was married and only moved in with Sephiroth because his apartment was destroyed after his wife… well… I just never believed it…" he answers and shrugs again, "Besides… they never really acknowledged each other beyond business…"
"What do you know about his wife?"
"Dunno… besides what the press said. The rumour was that she went crazy, and one night, she just snapped… smothered their little girl to death and then killed herself."
"What did the press say?"
"The official word was that they were victims of an accident."
"Accident…"
"Yeah," he responds before snorting and picking up a narrow stick to poke at the fire with. "It was before I was enlisted, and when it comes to Shinra, it's hard to know what the real truth is or if there's any at all."
"Hm," I mutter and lower my head in thought before deciding that I want to know more while trying to make it sound less desperate. "There must have been more rumours then…"
"Mm… Some are harder to believe than others," he hypnotically answers. "For instance, they say that he became an alcoholic after he lost his family… Well, I suppose it isn't hard to believe even though I never saw him drink… But that rumour led to the one about why he was banned from ever going to Gongaga again, by Shinra…"
"Banned?" I repeat while recalling that Tseng gave me the impression that it was his own choice.
"Yeah… Apparently he was a violent drunk and that he nearly killed some guy when he was sent on a mission there… just some man that he saw in a pub… walked up to him and started beating on him for no reason."
Then he snorts and looks over at me with a distant look to his mako-enhanced eyes while I wonder if it's true and that maybe it was his father.
"I guess… I just find it hard to believe because of what he did for us…"
"Us?"
"Mm… When Zack and I were captured after the mess with… well… I think he lied for us… to Shinra…" he distantly says as his eyes slowly move to the empty air and he stares off into it. "I think he knew where we were and that the Turk who lied to him about not finding us was lying to him, and he just… let us go…"
After that, he shrugs again and then turns his attention back to the fire.
"But then again, after seeing what kind of person he turned into when Sephiroth came back… Well, it's hard to know what's true and what's not… Not that it matters much anyway… I think we need to worry more about what we're gonna do now…"
I only nod in agreement while I watch Cloud lie down and stare at the dusty beams above us before I quietly ask, "Any idea who those men were?"
"The one's that were transporting us?"
"Mm."
"The highest bidders…" he casually answers as if none of this is remotely new or surprising to him. "That's my guess…"
Then he closes his eyes and gives in to the waning effect of whatever it was that the Turks used to put us to sleep with and I wonder why in the hell someone would have taken us this far north while worrying about my dreams again.
"…I want you to return him to me, safe… and sound."
"Why would I do that?"
"Because you have no will of your own,"
Cloud and I spent weeks searching, starting in the Northern Continent in hopes of finding Tseng. He offered to help me and I naturally refused. But I guess because he figured he was already there and involved in a roundabout way that he might as well ignore my refusal.
We spent nights seeking shelter for him to keep warm or dry and days searching and hunting, and at times, I almost felt resentful of his presence and even went so far as to accuse him of slowing me down. He never asked what any of it was about though. He never even brought up the fight between me and Reno or the accusation that I threw at the redheaded serpent either.
Instead, he would only give me a strange look whenever I did or said anything that I probably shouldn't have did or said. Then he would quietly come up with his own assumptions, much like he's done since the day that I met him.
I suppose I should be thankful though, and the fact that he offered another outlook during our search allowed me to uncover more options than I would have come up with on my own.
However, once we hit the warmer climates, I started getting more agitated by his need to sleep and eat and I wound up leaving him alone in the middle of the night once I felt it was safe enough for him to do so.
Sorry Cloud…
Since then I've looked everywhere. I even went back to the farm with the bittersweet hopes that I would find him there, ready to kiss him and kill him at the same time. Instead though, I found out that the Turks were just as much in the dark as I was. But I stayed for a while in hopes that some kind of lead would show up.
Only it never did. It was nearly a daily repetition of Reno pushing Rufus to let him look for Tseng and Rufus always telling him that he already had people out looking for him and that he needed his top Turks for other ventures.
He would always say it in his typically unaffected way and it was starting to get under my skin, especially after Rufus dealt with a lengthy phone call that brought a twisted grin to his face as he toyed with whoever it was on the other line. Then he hung up with a satisfactory sigh while staring at Reno who seemed to be staring at something on the floor as if he was in a daze.
"By the way, those men that you sold Cloud and Vincent to were just on the phone and they want their money back. What do you suggest we do?"
"Fuck that, Man… It was a sound deal… If they can't hang onto the goods they paid for, it ain't my problem."
"My thoughts exactly… Perhaps we should let them know how we feel then," Rufus musically replied before he walked up to Reno and straightened the man's collar. "I have to admit that I'm rather curious about why they wanted them in the first place though."
"Dunno…" the redhead muttered while casually staring at his boss's hair, "All I know is that ya said ta get rid of him without drawin attention ta you, an they mentioned somethin 'bout extractin some kind'a materia from Valentine… Think they were only takin Cloud as a bonus…" Then he snickers while his boss wryly smirks.
"Well, as long as Tseng never finds out—when we find him—and you find another creative way to make Valentine disappear, I suppose all will be well," Rufus replied and proceeded to brush some dirt off of Reno's jaw while continuing to muse, "and I believe that you and Rude will be able to make sure of that."
"Sure…"
After that Reno quickly walked outside and muttered to Rude that, "Fuck, Man, I really thought he was gonna kill us fer losin Tseng again…"
"You keep saying that."
"Yeah well… I'm still freakin out over it… Ain't ya noticed how calm he's bein 'bout the whole thing?"
"Guess he's just getting used to Tseng's constant disappearances."
"Hm… Well I ain't… In fact, I think it freaks me out a little more each time… An each time he gets more reclusive than he was before, not ta mention that how do we even know there's gonna be a next time… I mean I think that maybe Rufus should consider that."
"Maybe Rufus has just come to rely on the fact that Tseng always comes back."
"Whatever Man… Even if he does come back, we're still gonna hafta piss him off by gettin rid'a Valentine… Heh… Then again, maybe he won't care so much after what went down at Nibelheim…"
Each time… I muse, while fighting the urge to kill the little bastard for more than just jealousy now and wondering exactly how many times Tseng has vanished from the face of the earth. Then I turn my attention back to Rufus as he picks up his phone and starts dialling while I conclude that as devious as Reno is, it would appear that he has nothing to do with it and that his only job was to get rid of me.
"Yes…" Rufus says when someone on the other line answers. Then he looks through his window and watches the Turks walking away from his office while he takes on a colder and more heartless look, "I don't care about the complications… Fix it or I'll find someone who's more capable of doing their job."
It figures, I snidely think, that Rufus is more interested in his business than he is in his own Turk, supposed best friend, and ex-lover.
From there, I've searched the world three times over to the point of exhaustion. Months have passed and I find myself retiring back to the town of Kalm with no resources left to investigate and a bottle of lavender that I bought for whatever reason that I can't seem to come up with, except for the fact that it brings me a strange and conflicting sense of comfort. However, the town seems emptier now, even with the festivals lighting up the town's square and I start to develop a new form of resentment over it.
Or maybe it's just me that's emptier now.
Maybe it's the fact that I'm wondering what the point ever was as I walk into the familiar Inn and throw some gil that I earned during my travels onto the counter for the matron.
There was a time when I came here because of the familiar feeling and the sense of belonging that it offered. But now I'm only coming here because I can't think of anywhere else to go, and once I open that familiar door to a familiar room, I take a look at the emptiness and think of the void that my meaningless life has become.
Then I take off the chain that Lucrecia gave to me—having lost again—and I no longer see the point in hanging onto it. All it does is remind me of everything I've ever done wrong and everyone I've ever lost, and I toss it out the window while wishing I'd never been awakened by Cloud and his friends.
There was never any rhyme or reason to my life, not even from the start. At least none that I can think of, and for the first time in several months, I lay down without fearing what kind of taunting concoction Sephiroth will bring from the grave this time, knowing now that the dead can't escape the dead, and I finally come to terms with the fact that I deserve no less anyway.
After all, none of this would have happened if I'd only listened to Tseng in the first place and stayed away.
"Vince…"
It's just like every night since I shot him. His voice calls my name, despite how weary I am of hearing it now and despite how much hope it used to fill me with even though I still can't fight the urge to see him again.
But something is different this time.
I rarely dream that I'm in my bed or even in Kalm, and I rarely hear the noises that sound so real from the outside. Nor is anything generally thrown at me or causes me to sit up or to open my eyes to look down and see what landed in my lap…
It's Lucrecia's locket, and at first, I stare at it in confusion before I feel a strange chill run up my spine and a gut-wrenching churning flares up in my central nerves as a strange waft of filth and alcohol fills my nostrils.
And I think to myself, something is wrong, before I slowly look to the foot of my bed and see a wraith of a man standing there. His skin is so pale that it reflects the weak lights from outside, but it's streaked with dark marks and his hair is so black that it blends into the darkness. Only this time it looks dirty, oily, and stringy as it hangs over those eyes that usually shine like obsidian.
They seem bitterer than I remember them and I can only assume that they are when I take note of the gun he's shakily aiming at me when he angrily tells me that, "I wish I'd never met you…"
Then I jump as the loud bang almost hurts my ears and a bright ignition briefly flashes from the end of his gun, lighting up the room, and I think to myself after the initial shock that temporarily freezes me that the bastard missed, and I think he missed on purpose.
Then he falls to the floor with a hard thud that makes me cringe while I dumbly wonder why he's here, and I take a quick glance around before realizing that I'm not dreaming.
