AN: I'm sorry I didn't submit last week! But this chapter is longer as compensation. And I have a long weekend so there's a possibility that I might update again by Sunday. So be on the lookout for that!

Sorry for anyone who loved him like me, but Tidus goes bye-bye in this one. Afterwards, I have to try and worm Sora back into Riku's heart. What a task. I actually didn't mean for the story to end up like this, but what would writing be without a little angst and a few surprises? Anyway, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own it


"Are you sure you still want to go, Riku? I mean, we could do something else…" I shook my head furiously. We were going.

"We're gonna go. That fucker isn't going to ruin my good time. Or, more importantly, your good time." I shot a look over my shoulder as I rooted around in my closet, trying to find a clean shirt. Tidus sat meekly on my bed, fixing me with a weird look. "What?"

"I just think that if you don't want to go, you shouldn't. I'll live, you know. Or, rather, keep on being dead." He chuckled. "You don't have to force yourself to go just for my sake."

"It's for my benefit, too," I protested. "I wouldn't mind getting the satisfaction of seeing Sora get jealous." Tidus shook his head condescendingly.

"It cannot be healthy for you to enjoy seeing him suffer." He crossed the room and wrapped his arms around my waist. He laid his head on my back. "It'll be the death of you someday, trust me." I shrugged.

"Maybe. It wouldn't be a completely horrible death, though." I held up a rumpled shirt triumphantly. "Besides, what could really be the harm in seeing him squirm? He deserves it." I pulled the shirt over my head, covering my bare torso. "Well? How do I look?" Tidus observed me critically.

"I think you look fine, but that you're acting like a girl." He rolled his eyes. "He's your ex. You shouldn't care what he thinks of you."

"Maybe I just care what you think." I shot him a grin and pulled him closer. He rolled his eyes again.

"Please, I know better." He pushed away from me and smoothed out his hair.

"Speaking of acting like a girl," I said teasingly. He shot me a glare. I kissed his nose and it disappeared. "Come on, we should go. We're supposed to meet them in fifteen minutes." I grasped Tidus' hand in mine and dragged him downstairs. I received the shock of my life when I found my mom sitting on the couch.

"Hi, sweetie," she said brightly. "I was let off early today. Sorry I didn't tell you, but you seemed so busy. Going somewhere?" I glanced behind me and found my hand empty. Tidus was gone again.

"Yeah," I said absent-mindedly. "Bowling with Sora and Kairi. I'll be back in a few hours."

"Have fun, Riku. Don't stay out too late, okay?" I grunted non-committedly and left, closing the door quietly behind me. I wasn't surprised to find Tidus outside waiting for me. I had long since given up trying to figure out how he did those weird things he did.

I slipped an arm around his waist and pulled him close to me, burying my face in his hair. "I'm a little apprehensive," I admitted to him. He wrapped his arms around me in an embrace.

"It's not too late to back down if you don't want to go. I'm certainly not going to say anything about it." I shook my head. No matter how nervous or angry or scared I got, I knew I needed to be able to face him. If I spent my whole life hating and avoiding him, it would never do any good. And I wanted him to know, desperately, that I could get along just fine without him.

I led him along next to me as we walked to the bowling alley. One of the advantages to living on an island was that everything was close enough to walk to if you wanted. Some people had cars, but it was really an unethical way to travel. Besides, walking everywhere kept people fit.

I never liked bowling very much. The place was always so over-glorified. It wasn't a sport, and it would never be a sport.

The inside was flashy and it made my head hurt. The music was always up too loud and everyone was laughing at things that probably weren't funny. It was the epicenter for teenage bubbleheads, and I didn't belong here. But Tidus wanted to be here, and I would follow him wherever.

"Riku, Tidus!" I swiveled my head in the direction Kairi's bright voice came from. She and Sora had already gotten a lane. And speaking of the brunette…he was currently sulking and trying to hide behind the score machine. I wrenched my gaze away from him and led Tidus to where Kairi was grinning. "I thought you two weren't coming for a while there. What took so long?" I shrugged, not bothering to offer an explanation.

"I'll go get the shoes," Tidus said to me. "Size 10, right?" I nodded and kissed him chastely before releasing him. I watched as he left and turned my gaze back to Kairi, who was smiling up at me.

"What?" I asked, frowning. Her grin grew wider.

"You really do love him, don't you?" I was a bit taken aback by that, but nodded. After all, I did love Tidus, in a way. Maybe not in the sense she meant, but I did. Kairi's grin faded and her face became serious. "I really did think you weren't coming," she said. "After that whole riff you and Sora had. What was that about, anyway? He wouldn't tell me." I fought off the flush that threatened to creep up my neck as I remembered exactly what that fight had been about. No, I'd promised myself I wouldn't dwell on that.

"It's just guy stuff. Nothing you need to know."

"That's what Sora said," she scoffed. "Why won't anyone tell me what's going on with you two? You were such good friends before." I shook my head. Really, if she did know, I think she'd be wishing not to know. It was really just better to not clue her in, even if I would enjoy watching Sora fall to pieces over it.

"I'm back." A pair of shoes landed in my hands and an arm linked through mine. "Come on, let's go put them on. I wanna start." I chuckled at Tidus' childlike joy. There were times when he was just undeniably cute.

I purposely went slow, giving Tidus reason to pout in that adorable way of his. I would immediately kiss him when it appeared and the whole cycle would start over again. Kairi would giggle and comment about how cute we were. Sora would just glare at us. I caught him doing it a few times.

The main reason I hate bowling is because it's the most boring and morbid activity in the world. What is it? Rolling a ton-and-a-half ball down a slippery lane. There's no guarantee the ball will even make it down the lane without falling into the gutters on either side. And even on the slight chance that it DOES get to the end successfully, all you accomplish is knocking over a bunch of white pins and making a lot of noise; I hate noise.

I excused myself after about an hour of roll, noise, roll, noise. The constant tearing of both at my eardrums was beginning to give me a horrible headache. I wished I'd brought an aspirin or something.

The bathroom was surprisingly peaceful. I think they sound-proofed the walls, because all I could hear was the sound of my own breathing as I leaned against the counter. I splashed some water on my face, trying to calm my swimming head; but all that happened was that I got wet.

The door opened and I groaned inwardly. I didn't want to deal with some loud teenage boys who would probably laugh too loud and start roughhousing right next to me. I couldn't promise I wouldn't kill them, and that would cause a lot of unnecessary complications.

I nearly had a heart attack when arms wrapped around my waist. I sighed in relief when I realized it was only Tidus.

"Are you okay?" He asked quietly. "Do you want to go?" I shook my head slowly.

"I think I can make it. It's not too long until the time runs out. And besides," I laughed. "Kairi would be disappointed if we left now. I think she enjoys ogling us."

"That girl scares me a little," Tidus said bluntly. "I can't imagine why Sora would choose her over you." He blanched at the look on my face. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean it that way."

"It's fine." I smirked playfully. "Besides, I would much rather have you." Before he could protest, I turned around and placed a soft kiss on his lips. I heard him moan as I plundered his mouth and pushed him against the wall. I shouldn't do this, not in a bathroom at a bowling alley. Anyone might walk in, and I couldn't promise I would be able to stop if that happened. But being close to Tidus just made me want to completely ravish him. Maybe leaving was a good idea after all.

I heard the door open and froze, though Tidus continued without me.

"Oh, god-if you fags are going to do that, do it in private where I can't see it." I lifted my head, ignoring Tidus' protests. Sora stood by the door, disgust brimming in his eyes. And something else…lust, maybe? Jealousy? Who knew?

"Sorry, Sora dear. Bet you wish he was fucking you instead, huh?" He grinned cheekily at the fuming brunette, whom I could see desperately wanted to punch Tidus. But he was smarter than the average bear; he knew that hurting Tidus meant having to deal with me. I could easily kick his ass and he knew it. I grasped Tidus' wrist and dragged him out of the bathroom, shooting a look towards Sora as I did. He stared at the ground, face burning.

"That was fun," Tidus giggled. "Maybe you were onto something when you said seeing Sora squirm was fun." I didn't answer him, only continued to pull him along. I didn't want to make a scene in such a public place, but Tidus needed to stop speaking like that to Sora. Even if the prick did deserve it, it wasn't as if I couldn't defend myself.

Tidus gasped. "What…what is he doing here?" I stopped Tidus was staring, ashen-faced at a middle aged man sitting at the bar section of the bowling alley. He looked unkempt, dressed in clothes that could use a good wash. His face was covered in stubble and his hair lay around his face in greasy dregs. He was nursing a bottle of beer, though from the look of him he would be kicked out soon. Tidus tried to hide behind me and hurry out the door.

"What's wrong?" I asked, looking confusedly between him and the man.

"That's my step dad," he whispered frantically. "Why is he here? He lives on the other side of the island. He can't see me here. I'm supposed to be dead." He desperately tried to hurry while using my body as a sort of human shield.

"That's your step dad?" I asked incredulously. "But…how old was he when you died? That guy looks years older."

"He was only 30. I don't know, I guess he let himself go. Maybe my mom left him. Can we just hurry, please?"

We were just at the door when, in a strange twist of fate, the man looked up, right into Tidus' eyes. His dark, dead ones widened, and a spark ignited in them.

"Tidus," he called out in a raspy voice, climbing down from his bar stool unsteadily. "Tidus!" Tidus tried to hurry me along, but the man, as drunk as he was, was fast. He caught up to us and grasped Tidus' arm.

"Tidus," he rasped, his eyes alight with undeniable joy. "Oh god, Tidus, I thought I would never see you again. I thought you'd died." My lover looked away guiltily, trying to reclaim his arm without luck.

"I…I don't know what your talking about. I don't know anyone by that name." But that didn't deter the man.

"I don't believe that. I can see it in your eyes. You know who I am." A watery smile appeared on his face. A few tears slipped down his cheeks unnoticed. "Please, I just want to talk to you for a few minutes…please…" I felt strangely like a third wheel. Neither of the two had so much as glanced in my direction. That is, until Tidus muttered,

"Riku…could you give us some privacy, please?" I shot him an incredulous look.

"Wha-? Tidus, you're not really going to-?"

"Some privacy, if you don't mind," he said, more firmly, glaring at me. I was taken aback. Tidus had never acted that way towards me before. I released his wrist and watched worriedly as he and the man he claimed used to be his stepfather stepped into a dark alley. I couldn't see into it, but there was no way I could just sit around and wait. I pressed myself against the wall outside and strained my ears.

"I thought you died," a gruff voice said.

"I did," Tidus responded, a bitter tone to his voice. "This is my punishment. I guess I deserved it. What kind of person falls in love with their own stepfather." There was a long pause. "Did you want to say anything specific or am I just wasting my time here?" Another long pause.

"I wanted to…apologize. If I had…known you would do…well, if I'd known you would kill yourself…I'm so sorry, I never thought I'd lose you over it. I was selfish. I was only thinking of the consequences I would face if we were ever caught."

"Yeah, well, I was a stupid child back then. I may not look like it, but…I've done some growing up since then. I should have realized that you could never love me back. And I should have been able to live with it."

"No! No, don't you ever think that. I did love you…so, so much…"

"Yeah, right…"

"When you killed yourself, I could have died myself. Your mother was devastated, but I felt like I couldn't go on. Every day was like a horrible effort." I faintly heard a sobbing sound. "She died, by the way. Pneumonia. About a year ago." I heard Tidus draw a sharp breath.

"I…I see. I wish I could have been there at the pearly gates to greet her. I wonder if she noticed I wasn't there."

"Of course she did. Your mother loved you…her dying words were that she was happy she would be with you again." There was a dry chuckle. "Who knew I would end up being the one to see you again?" There was a shuffling sound, and then a quick scuffle.

"Wha-stop, don't touch me!"

"Please, it's been so long since I've seen you. I never thought I would ever get to again…I need to feel you, Tidus. I want to make you feel good, and really apologize for the horrible wrong I've done."

"Yeah, well, it's way too late for that. I have a lover now and-" his words were cut off for a few seconds, and the sound of flesh connecting with flesh resonated through the air. "Bastard! You're drunk. Go the fuck home, and maybe if you're lucky you won't remember this in the morning." Footsteps grew closer and I quickly stepped away from the entrance, trying to look as if I hadn't been listening. Tidus appeared, fuming, and was at my side in a second, gripping my arm.

"Let's go," he said curtly. I said nothing, just led him away. We passed the alleyway where his stepfather still resided. Soft sobs floated from the darkness. I glanced at Tidus to gauge his reaction, but his face was set in a stony mask staring straight ahead.

--

Tidus practically jumped onto me when we entered my house. My mom wasn't downstairs, so I figured she must have gone to bed. I responded eagerly.

I felt hot tears on my neck and froze. Tidus was crying, but he was still desperately trying to get me into bed. I wrenched him away from my neck and studied his face. His eyes were shining and two perfect tracks of tears ran down either side of his face. I stared at him incredulously.

"What…?"

"Make love to me," he interrupted. "Not fucking or having sex, I…I want to feel you. I need to feel like someone loves me."

"Tidus," I began to protest.

"Please!" He sobbed. "I need this. Riku, if you love me or feel anything for me, you'll do this. You have to understand…" He looked so pitiful and vulnerable like that. I knew why he needed it. Seeing his stepfather had wounded him far more than Tidus let on. And the news of his mother's death probably hadn't been very good news either. What must it have been like, to see someone you had once loved look so pitiful and weak? And to have a loved one die, and know you won't ever see them again because of the mistakes you made? Nothing in my life could ever compare to that hardship. And even if this was supposed to be a punishment, he needed some small amount of happiness or it would be one hell of a long eternity.

I bent down and kissed him deeply, pouring love into every touch and feeling. Our fingers intertwined and I hoped, with all my heart, that he knew just how much I cared for him.

That night, I wasn't gripped by passion or lust. We had sex that was slow and sweet and somehow…right. But it felt like a sort of exclamation point. It felt like I had to make this count, because there might not be a chance later. But that was crazy, right?

Or maybe not as crazy as I thought.

"Riku," Tidus mumbled into my neck afterwards. He had long since stopped crying and a sense of peace had descended upon both of us. I made a non-committal noise to let him know I was listening. All I wanted to do was fall asleep. "Riku, I'm going to have to leave."

That woke me up. My eyes snapped open and stared at him. His eyes were averted guiltily.

"Why?" I asked desperately. Since Sora had broke it off, Tidus had been the only constant in my life. He was the only thing I could ever count on. I hadn't known him that long, true, but it felt like we had been together a lifetime. I couldn't imagine going on without him.

"I….I realized something when I saw my step dad today." He took a deep breath. "He was a lot older than when I last saw him. But I was exactly the same age." He stared up at me. "Do you see what I'm trying to say? Even if we stay together, you're going to get old and die eventually. And what about me? I'll be stuck here, on earth, hurting so much I wish I could die but I can't." He bit his lip. "You remember before, what I told you about places of consistency? Places that we have to return to so we can stay sane?" I nodded dumbly. "Well," he sighed. "I need one in this earth that isn't temporary. I can't get too attached to someone…not even you."

We sat in silence for a while, each absorbed in our own thoughts. I could see the sense in what he said, but the rest of me protested profusely against it. I couldn't let him leave me, not matter the consequences. If he was gone, I would go insane. He was wrong; consistency was consistency, temporary or not.

"Riku?" I looked down to find Tidus staring up at me.

"Yeah?"

"I know you might not follow this advice, but…don't give up on Sora, okay?" I was surprised by that comment. Wasn't he the one trying to get me to forget Sora? "Please promise me that," Tidus pleaded. "You two belong together. I thought I could replace him, but I see now that I can't. And you deserve as much happiness as possible before…" he stopped and buried his head in my chest. He wouldn't say anything more after that and feigned sleep, even though I knew he didn't need it.

I felt my eyelids growing heavy and laid my head back on the pillow, wrapping my arms tightly around Tidus as if by sheer force I could keep him there with me forever. I closed my eyes and relaxed, allowing the warm darkness of sleep to take me.