Recap: At the engagement party, Kaoru announces that he's going abroad to study there for five years. Haruhi knows what he's trying to do; trying to get her to fall in love with Hikaru during his absence. But she doesn't take things so well...
The week following the engagement party was hell and heaven at the same time.
Every day for that week, Hikaru would get up earlier than usual and rush to Haruhi's room. He'd usually find her in the bathroom, where he'd help her with her morning sickness. While she washed up, he'd pick out her outfit for the day before going to shower himself. Then he'd meet everyone downstairs for breakfast. After breakfast, the day would really begin.
He couldn't recall a more hectic, mixed bag of a week even if he tried.
Kaoru's announcement had been casual and made his departure seem like it wasn't such a big deal. Hikaru knew it was a big deal; he himself had been bothered by it constantly after he heard, but he wasn't going to let that show. It was kind of an unspoken thing between them. They could go on with their lives, just not together. Not for now, anyway. Kaoru would give Haruhi and Hikaru their space for five years, and then come back when everything had fallen back into place. Five years. Hikaru could live with that, or at least that's what he tried to tell himself.
Hikaru knew another thing; something to noticeable to be missed. If he was convincing himself to adjust to the situation, Kaoru and Haruhi were doing the same thing tenfold.
Kaoru spoke as though nothing was wrong, laughed as if everything was okay, and smiled like he wasn't broken. No one had to be his twin to be able to tell that it was all a huge lie. Hikaru knew that Kaoru knew how transparent the act was, and he knew that it was all just for show.
And for Haruhi.
She was more quiet than usual nowadays. She didn't even protest when he picked out a revealing dress for her to wear to school (it was a joke to try and get her to react). But to be honest, a person wouldn't be able to tell the difference between this Haruhi and the old one unless they had a very close relationship with each other. Hikaru was one of those people, of course. He was concerned where she was concerned, but he had to give her props. The girl was doing her best to hide it. She was doing it all for show.
And for Kaoru.
Believe it or not, even though Hikaru always put on the air of someone who was incredibly laid-back no matter what the situation, he wasn't a total idiot.
Or maybe he was, considering the fact that he was denying the truth.
But he made it out of the week alive so far, didn't he?
There was still tomorrow and the day after, though.
Then came the moment where the word 'tomorrow' was now 'today.'
"The beach?" Haruhi said blankly in response to the overexcited blonde who was clearly restraining himself from looking too happy (and failing).
"Yes!" Tamaki bubbled. "Kyoya and I figured that the Host Club should have one more proper time together before…"
All eyes flicked to Kaoru for a second, and he pretended not to notice. He should have known that Tamaki would try to pull something like this; the blonde had always treated the Host Club like family, and tomorrow was Kaoru's flight.
"Well," Kyoya continued. "You can't decide anyway. Mori-senpai and Hani-senpai are already waiting for us—we've agreed to use the Hitachiin's Cessna."
"Then why bother coming over to ask," Haruhi grumbled. "Wait, the twins' plane?" She glared at the said people. "Was I the only one who didn't know about this outing?"
"Aww, come on, Haruhi," Hikaru said, pulling on her hand. "It'll be loads of fun."
She was in no mood whatsoever to be out and about, and no amount of pleading was going to get her to go. Until…
"But this is the last day we get to be all together like this," Kaoru began. "I want to get some memories…"
The boys could almost see Haruhi soften. "Fine… But no swimsuits."
"But—!"
"I don't swim," Haruhi replied immediately, never minding that it was a blatant lie.
"But you have to wear something appropriate for where you're going!"
Everyone who knew the Hitachiin brothers knew that Haruhi couldn't say no to them for long.
The young girl stepped back into the foyer a few minutes later, clad in a pretty, green summer dress.
"Well then, shall we go off?" Tamaki smiled, offering a hand to Haruhi. This action almost went unnoticed until Kaoru gave a very pronounced cough.
Hikaru didn't need to be told twice and was quick to shove Tamaki aside.
~o~
The plane ride to wherever it was they were going wouldn't take very long. After all, they couldn't leave Japan—Haruhi didn't have a passport—and so they couldn't have been anywhere very far. Hikaru could care less, anyway. All he was absorbed in was the fact that Haruhi was seated between him and Kaoru, that her eyelids were drooping slowly (she got sleepy very easily nowadays), and that her head was tilting dangerously towards his twin's shoulder and not his. Before Hikaru could process what to do though, his twin gently tipped Haruhi's head so that it went the other way. Breathing in her scent and feeling her head on his shoulder did wonders for his temper, but the fact that it was Kaoru who had put Haruhi there tipped him off a bit…
After thirty minutes, they landed on a private strip and rode in a car for fifteen more minutes to get to their destination.
"Ne, Takashi! Today's the perfect day for an outing, isn't it? And this is such a nice place!" Hani chirped when they finally arrived. He immediately started running around like a little kid would.
Tamaki looked around approvingly. "Where is this place anyway, Kyoya? Whose beach is this?"
"No one's. It's a piece of property that's for sale," Kyoya replied, his eyes scanning the area. "It just so happened to be close to the twins' rest house, that's all."
In the meantime, Haruhi was stretching her numb limbs. "What will we be doing here all day?"
"What do you think you're supposed to do in a beach?" Hikaru chuckled. "Lie down and wait for Christmas?"
She rolled her eyes. "I'm sure it's not that. But really, I don't enjoy swimming and I've only been to the beach a couple of times."
Haruhi regretted saying that. There was a moment where she couldn't hear anything but the ocean waves as everyone gave her looks that simply screamed 'you poor, deprived child.'
"Hey, let's take a picture first!" Kaoru suggested, breaking the silence. "Come on, I wanna have keepsakes, you know."
After a couple of snapshots, the beach towels and umbrellas were set in the most promising spots, and the rest of the general beach behavior ensued. The boys changed into their trunks, and there was a bit of a ruckus when they were putting on the sunscreen. Tamaki and Hikaru both seemed to want Haruhi to apply it onto their backs.
"Say no to the boss, sure," Hikaru complained. "But I'm your fiancé! What's wrong with helping me out?"
"When Haruhi gets married, you'll have her all to yourself," Tamaki argued. "Won't daddy's little girl pick daddy instead?"
Haruhi looked around for help, but Hani was already playing in the shallows with Mori standing guard, and both Kyoya and Kaoru had that amused look on their faces that meant they weren't about to get involved in anything.
Filled to the brim with annoyance, Haruhi snapped, "I'm not helping either of you. Go rub sunblock on each other."
A couple of hours later, the boys were all somewhere in the water. The sun drove even Kyoya to take a plunge into the water. Needless to say, Haruhi was left sweltering in the heat.
She lay down and closed her eyes, attempting to use her book as a fan. She lay like that for a few minutes, trying to put mind over matter, when she noticed that it was suddenly a bit darker and that there were droplets of water dripping onto her face. She wearily opened one eye and found her view obstructed by a sopping wet mop of charcoal hair and impish, goldenrod eyes.
"…Hikaru," Haruhi said, sitting back up.
"Too hot out for you?" he asked. "We told you, you should have brought a swimsuit. Hahaha, you know, you're cute when you're all flushed like that."
She just cocked an eyebrow at him. He grinned and brought out a popsicle that he had been hiding behind his back. "Here."
Haruhi took it gratefully and let the icy treat cool her down until something else began to bug her. "What are you staring at me for?"
Hikaru looked away quickly, blushing. "N-nothing! It's just… You have something right there…" His hand made its way to the corner of her lip to wipe something away. Then his hand slid down and gently took hold of her chin to tilt her face upward.
Closer.
Hikaru's pulse quickened its pace as he brought their lips nearer to each other. This girl right here was the person he loved, the person he gave everything up for. She was worth all that, wasn't she? She was beautiful, smart, she was able to calm him down and bear with him… she was Haruhi.
Closer.
Haruhi's eyes were fixed on the face in front of her. It wasn't that she didn't like Hikaru, no… It wasn't that. The boy had tried over the course of the last week; tried to woo her in every way possible, tried to make her fall for him instead. He did every charm in the book and everything else that he just improvised. Haruhi was even a bit flattered with the guy's determination. She knew that Hikaru wasn't stopping anytime soon… He was so persistent. And he would be there. So why couldn't she let herself love him? He was sweet, not at all unlovable, he made her laugh, and he was full of surprises.
So what made Hikaru so different from Kaoru?
Well, there was her answer.
He isn't Kaoru.
Stop.
"Hikaru, the popsicle is melting," Haruhi deadpanned, her expression unreadable. The hand fell from her chin reluctantly.
~o~
The hosts had lunch on the beach and went back to swimming after a while. They finally decided to get out of the water when Tamaki's face began to turn all red. Now they were all in the air-conditioned sanctuary that was the Hitachiin rest house.
"More pictures! Haha, boss," Kaoru laughed. "You look worse than a tomato. You didn't forget to put sunblock on your face now, did you?"
Tamaki just whined as the redhead's camera clicked again and again.
Haruhi watched their antics for a while before deciding to retreat to her room. She had time for a nice shower and a nap before dinner…
"Hey, Haruhi."
"Nnn…"
"Wakey-wakey. Come on, now."
"…Kaoru?"
Haruhi blinked. Yes, it was Kaoru in her room, camera slung around his neck, sitting on her bed with a tray of something that smelled mouth-watering balanced on his lap.
"What's up?"
"Well, the rest of us already had dinner," he explained. "No one wanted to wake you up since you looked so tired. But we figured you must be starving to death by now."
She glanced at the clock; it was well past eight. Her stomach made a funny noise. "Yeah, I am."
Kaoru set the food in front of her and Haruhi began to eat. A few silent moments passed before she became curious about something. "Where's Hikaru?"
He shrugged. "I have no clue. The boss and the others dragged him off a while ago, and they still aren't around. I was the only one who could bring you your dinner."
Suspicious though she was about what might be going on, Haruhi chose to brush it aside for now. A few more mouthfuls of food later, she was distracted yet again by a number of clicks. "Don't take pictures of me while I'm eating."
"Alright," Kaoru said. "I'll wait for you to finish, then."
"No, don't."
"Huh? I thought you said…"
"I mean… Don't take pictures of me at all."
"Why not?"
Haruhi looked at him pointedly. "I thought you wanted to forget about me. So why bother keeping a memory?"
"Oh, right." He lowered his camera.
The awkward tension returned; the last time they were alone together didn't go so well. Kaoru cleared his throat.
"Well… Um, I hope you had fun today."
"I did, sort of."
The two of them looked at each other. This conversation was sounding very familiar. It was exactly like the one they had after that day in the amusement park…
They began to laugh for no reason at all.
"Oh God," Kaoru said later, in between gasps for breath. "These memories… They'll make me want to stay."
Haruhi's laughter receded. "So you really want to go?"
"You know that it's not about what I want, right?"
"…"
"…"
"Kaoru, why are you such a martyr?"
He looked nonplussed. "Huh?"
Haruhi transferred the tray of half-finished food to her bedside table and took Kaoru's face in her hands, looking directly into his eyes. "What do you want me to do just so you'll stay? I'll do whatever it is."
His hands moved, and for a moment Haruhi thought that he was making to take her hands away. But he didn't. He held them there, nuzzling his cheeks against them. She was surprised, to say the least.
"Don't make it so hard," he begged. "It's difficult enough already. If it weren't for Hikaru, I wouldn't leave. Did you really think that it's okay for me to leave you and my kid, knowing that someone else is going to take care of you?"
The truth? Haruhi had been thinking that way. Kaoru had been so distant lately, she almost forgot that it was all an act.
"Hikaru thinks he can handle anything by himself," Kaoru said slowly. "And maybe he can. All I know is that I can't. If he's ready to move on without me, I'm not. I've always depended on him, ever since we were born. If I stay, I'll be putting all that in jeopardy, and I just can't, you know? Besides, I can't hurt him. He's my brother, and I haven't once forgotten that.
"I know that I'm asking a lot from you too, Haruhi, and that it's not fair for you in the slightest. So if you start hating me, it's okay. I'll understand. In fact, if you do whatever it takes to forget about me once I'm gone, that'll be more than fine."
"Don't make me slap you again," Haruhi interrupted, her voice steely. "When will it get into your head that I can't fall in love with anyone else even if I tried? And you," she gulped, knowing that what she was about to say could sound extremely egotistical. "You wouldn't forget me even if it kills you."
Just to prove it, she kissed him.
At first, Haruhi was afraid that she made a mistake. Kaoru wasn't moving. She was about to pull away when he did.
A second later, it wasn't just a light peck anymore. It was a full-force, passionate, partially hormone-driven kiss. Their lips made synchronized movements, and it was like they were made for nothing else. Kaoru's hand slid down to Haruhi's back while her fingers entwined themselves (almost possessively) in his soft hair. A warm tongue gently licked Haruhi's bottom lip, meekly requesting entry. She complied with a soft moan, parting her lips and letting the tongue explore the warmth of her mouth.
They both shuddered when his tongue first made contact with hers, but soon they were dancing together, Haruhi completely comfortable with Kaoru's mild dominance. Kaoru knew he would never, ever taste anything like Haruhi. Even after dinner, she was incredibly, impossibly sweet. He found himself shifting so that he was on the bed beside her, then on top of her, never breaking contact.
Only when the accursed need to breathe forced them apart did they stop the kiss.
Panting, the two looked at each other with glazed eyes. It took a minute for them to recall their surroundings and realize what they had been about to do.
Haruhi's hand must have crawled up and unbuttoned Kaoru's shirt of its own accord, because his chest was bare now. And Kaoru; when exactly did he start slipping off the straps of her nightgown? He certainly didn't remember that.
His eyes widened and he climbed off of her. There was something unidentifiable in his voice. "H-Haruhi… I… I'm sorry, I—"
She cut him short, catching on. "No, I'm sorry. You should go get some sleep now; we all have to get up early tomorrow to get you to your flight."
"Haruhi…"
"Good night, Kaoru."
~o~
Hikaru stared at the screen with unreadable eyes.
After dinner, while he and Kaoru were washing the dishes, Tamaki and the others had somehow managed to kidnap him and take him to Kyoya's room. They made him sit down and watch what looked like a hidden camera's point of view in a room. Haruhi's room.
"What's the point of me watching her sleep?" he had asked after thirty minutes. Then he saw Kaoru enter the room, and he knew what this was all about. Only Mori and Hani's firm hands stopped him from leaving. He heard and saw everything.
"If it weren't for Hikaru, I wouldn't leave. Did you really think that it's okay for me to leave you and my kid, knowing that someone else is going to take care of you? Hikaru thinks he can handle anything by himself, and maybe he can. All I know is that I can't. If he's ready to move on without me, I'm not. I've always depended on him, ever since we were born. If I stay, I'll be putting all that in jeopardy, and I just can't, you know? Besides, I can't hurt him. He's my brother, and I haven't once forgotten that."
"When will it get into your head that I can't fall in love with anyone else even if I tried? And you—you wouldn't forget me even if it kills you."
After that…
They kissed.
By now, Hikaru was crying, struggling to get free, trying to block out the words that he refused to hear. But when he saw that, he fell limp and just shook with sobs.
Tamaki had been begging Kyoya to turn the television off for a while, but the Shadow King remained impassive. This time however, Tamaki couldn't take Hikaru's pain. He ran to his friend's side.
"Kyoya! Turn the damn TV off now! We should never have done this!"
"Tama-chan's right," Hani said, nearly in tears himself, clinging on to Mori, who was at the brink of flinching at the sight of such a broken Hikaru. "This is too much, Kyo-chan!"
"I don't recall any of you coming up with a better solution," Kyoya retorted, though they heard his voice crack for a split second.
Then Hikaru spoke up. "You all think I'm stupid, don't you?"
They all fell into silence. Hikaru was standing up even though he was still shaking.
"I knew," he went on. "I could tell it was Kaoru she's wanted all along. I could tell he wanted her. I was the only one stopping them. That's why I told him never to interfere with me again… Maybe if we were really separate, Haruhi would be able to see me for me and not just as Kaoru's twin. Stupid of me not to realize that that was how she saw us all along, and that's why she chose Kaoru.
"But still! I still wanted a fucking chance, you know? So when Kaoru told me that he had given her up, I was so happy even though I knew he was lying! Because there was my chance! If I didn't take it or if I took it—either way, I'd be an idiot, so what the hell was I waiting for? Of course I took it! Even though I knew I was being so, so, so unfair..."
Because there was a side to the story I didn't know or knew but just refused to consider… Because Kaoru had given up more than his fair share just to please his moron of a twin… Wouldn't letting go now put every sacrifice he's made to waste? Or is it the other way around?
"So what now?" Tamaki asked softly a minute later. "Now that you know everything, now that things are fair again, what will you do?"
Hikaru didn't answer.
A/N:
Pishew!
*headdesk*
That chapter was by far the worst one I had to force myself to write. Yes, yes, I know all the Hikaru supporters out there are seething and just can't wait to kill me. Well guess what; I hated having to torture Hika-chan like that. I feel so bad. And I feel worse knowing that I left something like a cliffie back there. DX
You guys must be sensing that the story's almost coming to a close. If not... Well, now you know (it might be one or two chapters more, just to throw that out there). Anyway, I'd like to thank everyone who's read this far and those who give reviews (even though I pretty much blackmail or bribe you guys into giving them, LOL, gomenasai!)-you have no idea how much your support means to me. You guys make everything worthwhile. I love you all! *huggles*
I hope you watch out for the ending!
Kyoya has a Death Note
And he's not afraid to use it.
l
l
V
