T: So, now we've decided to bring in another artist. Meet Chirs De Burgh!
CHRIS: Hello. It's interesting here, to say the least.
SHADI: Thank you. Now what's this about a train?
T: I was going to ask you to do our disclaimer, and then sing Spanish Train.
CHRIS: Sure thing! T does not own Star Wars, Yu-Gi-Oh, the Martha Stewart Network, LOTR, and South Park… Wow. You really have to say all of this?
T: Yes. And lastly, we don't own Chris De Burgh.
CHRIS: O.o;
SHADI: There are some very stupid people that might think we do.
T: Yeah. Did you know that they have warnings on hair dryers "Do not use in shower"?
SHADI: What has this world come to.
T: There's your doom. Next they'll put a label on pretzels, "May cause choking" What idiot chokes on a pretzel?
All look around nervously.
T: What idiot other then the- No, that's not-
CHRIS: *putting his hand over her mouth * you'll just dig yourself in more. She didn't mean it folks!
SHADI: And now for Spanish Train!
CHRIS: A Spanish man lay dying, with his people by his side. His family were crying, with him before he died. But waiting for the dead was the devil with a twinkle in his eye. " Well god's not around, and look what've I've found! This one's mine!" Just then the lord himself appeared, in a blinding flash of light. Calling to the devil. "Get thee hence to endless night!" the devil just grinned and said, "well I may have sinned but that's no need to push me around. I found him first so you can do your worst, he's going underground! But… I'll give you one last chance." Said the devil with a smile. "Throw away that stupid lance, it's really…not your style. Joker is the name, poker is the game. We'll play right here on his bed! And then we'll play for the bigger stakes yet! The souls of the dead!"….
SHADI: Morbid.
T: But good.
Chapter Twelve
THE COUNCIL OF ELROND
"There is no other way! It must be sent back to the fiery chasm from whence it came!"
Most of the houseshare was gathered in Han's room, sitting in a circle, Elrond in a computer chair in front of all.
Legolas timidly raised his hand. " Are we talking about the ring, or about Martha?" Elrond sighed. "Martha!" the rest chorused.
"Is that really fair though? Saying she came from hell?" everyone stared at Tea. "I'm just saying, we're not acting like friend-" The rest groaned and rolled their eyes. Not another 'friendship' speech!
"She's right!" Cartmen cried. "That's would be unfair to the devil. She'd probably burn pot-pourri or paint the walls a fucking pink!"
Yami Bakura snickered. "I say we through this 'it' back into the fiery chasm." Yami Yugi said coldly.
"Oh, come now. You aren't still sore about the shower incident, are you? Technically, I did what you asked. I didn't turn on the water."
"Flushing counts! You weren't supposed to do that either!" Yami Bakura smiled. "Fine. As you wish."
"No, Yami! Don't tell him that! He'll leave something gross!" Leia cried.
"I'm telling you, I have no idea how the dead squirrel got in there!"
"People!" Elrond called. "It must be destroyed."
"Look, why are we even talking about this? She'll be gone tomorrow morning. Just deal with it." Tea sighed.
The others grumbled, but had to accept it.
"Dinner! And that's a good thing!" Martha called up the stairs. "Be nice." Tea hissed, as they trooped to the dining room.
"Well, I say, that was delicious, Martha." Gandalf said, wiping the corners of his mouth with a napkin. The others were also relived. There wasn't anything with chilli powder...
"Here's dessert! And that's a good thing!" Martha called, smiling, holding up a covered platter.
It was like slow motion. She carefully lifted up the lid...
Gollum stared at the wiggly mass of red before him, eyes wide in terror. He opened his mouth wide and gave an ear-shattering scream.
The rest of the houseshare covered their ears in an attempt not to become deaf, but it didn't help much. Gollum bolted up from the table, taking the tablecloth with him.
The dishes crashed to the floor, and in people's laps. Drinks spilled onto the carpet, and the jello flew across the room as the table collapsed, and landed right on top of Gollum.
"It burnses! It burnses!" He shrieked, obviously exaggerating. Everyone tried to get out of the room, but tripped over each other instead. "Food fight!" Yami Bakura yelled, whipping mashed potatoes at Tea.
"You're dead!" She hollered, as it hit her square in the back of the head. She picked up a chunk of meatloaf and chucked it in his direction. Yami Bakura ducked, and it hit Yami Yugi in the face. Annoyed, he hurled a handful of corn, which showered Han.
"Honestly Pharaoh. You had millennia to improve your aim." Yami Bakura snickered, but he was nailed in the face two consecutive times as both Han and Yami Got their revenge. "C'mon Legolas!" Leia called, shrieking as gravy splattered on her dress. By now even Martha had joined in, and Gollum, who had stopped screaming, was throwing bits of jello.
"It mess up my hair!" He whined, as Yugi snuck up on him with a glass of cream soda, dousing him.
"You little brat!" he shouted, joining in the fray.
By now it was close to midnight, and, after washing up and cleaning the dining room, the houshare trooped off to bed. They were beginning not to mind Martha so much. She could be fun...
"Aww... What's that horrible smell!" Yugi commented, holding his nose. "Wasn't me!" Yami Bakura stated. Yugi stared at him. " We know that. It actually smells all right, unlike the smells you create. Incense?" Bakura said, propping his elbows up on Yami's chest, who smacked him with a pillow for the insult.
"It's true!" He cried, rubbing his head. "Where are you going?" There's a lot of smoke. Something could've caught fire." Yugi whispered back. "Fire?" Yami had a strange glint in his eye. Bakura scooted sideways, jumping off the side of the bed, and landing with a thump beside Yugi on the lower bunk.
"What's wrong?" Yugi asked. "Last time he had that look he lit the ends of my hair on fire." "It was an accident!""Sure it was!" "You think I did that on purpose?" "Yes!" Yugi shook his head and left them to argue. He was scared. They were REALLY starting to sound like an old married couple.
There was a lot of smoke in the hallway, so much that he couldn't see Chewie, and walked right into him. "Sorry." he muttered. "Yugi?" Han asked. "That you?" "Yes."
"Well, now we're all here except Yami and Bakura." leia stated. "Martha!" Tea pounded on the closet door, which was emitting large clouds of smoke, not realizing it was open, she fell directly on top of her.
"Oh, I'm sorry! Did my incense wake you?" "Did it ever." Han grumbled. "We thought the house was on fire!"
"No, thank goodness! And that's a good thing!" Martha snuffed out her burning incense, and the rest went back to bed, coughing on the overly scented fumes.
WITTY PHANTOM: Martha Stewart... The less I have to deal with that woman, the better.
RAY: I think she's nice.
WITTY PHANTOM: Nice! Nice? She's the lord of the underworld! Lord of the clean, scented, lemony fresh underworld!
RAY: What're you on?
WITTY PHANTOM: What was that?
RAY: Nothing. *Smiles sweetly*
WITTY PHANTOM: *muttering* Now she could use some ravenous beavers. Although she'd probably have tea with them and make them clothes!
RAY:*eyes lighting up* RAVENOUS BEAVERS! YAY!
WITTY PHANTOM: No! No no no no no!
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CHRIS: that Spanish Train still runs, and the people cower in fear. She's running out of steam. And far to the west the lord and the devil are now playing chess. The devil still cheats and wins more souls. And the lord? He's just doing his beesssssst!
T: *shivering * That was very creepy! Thank you! *Grins *
CHRIS: My pleasure. I hear you got Barry Manilow too?
SHADI: * grin * We gave him a dip in the brine.
CHRIS: I've always wanted to do that to him- damn!
The guitar strings break, spelling "Read and Review" Chris adjusts the pegs, and the words change to " I Know the Piano Tuners Come Often, But This Is Ridiculous!"
