A/N I don't own Twilight
Thanks to Sherry, Jacksonscupcake and lels2768 for help and encouragement.
- Bella -
"I'm coming with you. I hope that's okay." Watching your face as my words take hold, your eyes closing with the brilliance of your smile. Yes, it's okay. Your hands at my waist, I am lifted in the air, twirled around as you laugh, exuberant.
Yes, it's okay.
.
Explaining my plan, how I've worked to surprise you. Dartmouth Psychology, the name alone is thrilling. A scholarship on the condition of good grades, I have six months to catch up a year. Trying to warn you it won't be easy, you just smile and kiss me into silence.
It's okay.
.
We talk and talk on our journey back, this time not one big suitcase to carry, but three. My things to take, the rest will come. Some clothes, mementos, but it's all unimportant. I can buy what I need. The only thing I want to bring with me is you. You hold my hand and kiss my temple. I close my eyes and wish I could purr.
Yes. It's okay.
.
It's a lot of new things to fit in one life. A new school, a new place, and a new relationship. You ask me to forego a dorm room. After all, your bed is big enough. My boxes unpacked, your place becomes ours. Overwhelmed by everything and drowning in homework, it's you who grounds me and calls me back to us.
Yes. Okay.
.
Insane workloads, we both suffer. But we try to make it work, help the other out. Sleep the last thing on our minds when we try to cram in one last fact. When the bruises under your eyes turn purple, I decide it's been enough. You need a break. And so do I.
Okay.
.
An evening, carefully planned. Scented candles, a meal on the stove. A movie to be safe, but mainly I just want to watch you tonight. Run you a bath, wash your hair for you. Rub your back with the oil I have purchased. I turn on the music and light the last of the candles. Curling up on the couch, I wait.
That's okay.
.
Home after midnight, you shuffle inside. Waking me on the couch, cold fingers on my cheek. When I open my eyes, the candles are out. Dinner is burnt. Where have you been? Apologetic, you smile. Out with some friends, you didn't know I was waiting. I am angry even though you are right.
Not okay.
.
A coldness between us. I want to come back to you but you are too stressed. Shut me out in your sorrow. Where are you? I miss you. Unable to focus on studying, I break down and cry. Trying to be silent, you hear me regardless. I hear the worry in your voice when you speak.
"You okay?"
.
My words fall as quickly as my tears, when you close your arms around me and I cry. Telling you all, spilling my worries, my secrets, my desires. You hold me and rock me, your hands in my hair. You miss me too, you say. It's difficult to focus with school on your mind. Realizing both we forgot to be a couple. But we're more than just friends now.
And that's okay.
.
Bending my head gently, your lips touch my neck. "How can I neglect you." Your breath against my ear. Turning me to straddle you, my breath hitches at the contact. It's been too long, how did that happen? Your hands in my hair, on my back, on my rear. Pulling me closer.
"We'll be okay."
.
Your lips on mine, so soft but secure. Seeking me out, bringing me back to you. Your hands tug my shirt up to get to my skin. Your fingertips blazing, I'm ignited at your touch. You haven't forgotten, and seduce me without effort. I am powerless in your arms, silently pleading for more.
So okay.
.
Guiding me to the bed, you take your time to undress me. Producing the oil that I bought for you, you turn me around and set to work. Your hands are a miracle and I can't help but groan. Working out kinks in my back — and our relationship. Closer together, we find our way back to us.
It will be okay.
.
Your hands ever more daring, touching places that have been ignored. Shamelessly squirming, I am not above begging. But you sense my needs without effort and give me what I want. Still on my tummy, the position provides possibilities. Your lips at my ear, coaxing to let go.
"Okay."
.
I have missed this. Oh, how I have missed this. Undressing you, I crawl over you. Slippery with oil, clinging on for dear life. Laughing lightly through the intense mood, your eyes turn dark and you roll on top of me. Suddenly dominant, you take the lead. "I missed you," you growl, and my insides clench at the roughness of your voice.
So much more than okay.
.
Rough and hard, it's what we both want, we both need. A high so incredible, we're out of breath. A second time follows, slower now, but no less feverish. I'm yours. You're mine. We agree to never forget, not even for a second. You kiss me softly, then smile with your forehead on mine. Yes.
We will be okay.
