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A/N- Capricorn75 has bullied me into posting the rest of it. Thanks.


I couldn't see the ocean from the fog rolling in.

"Would you like a nightcap?" Edward asked.

"Sure," I said. In the living room, I kicked off my shoes. He had an incredible white area carpet on the hardwood floors, I didn't want to track dirty water on it.

He came back into the living room with a tumbler. "Here," he said. It was a sweet concoction. "I got you to kiss me again. I don't know what I did wrong the first time."

"You didn't do anything wrong," I said.

"You certainly kiss well when you drink," he said.

"I didn't kiss well before?" I asked.

He just smiled and me and took another sip. I put my drink down and took his. "Don't ever say that, again, Edward Cullen," I said. I grabbed his tie and kissed him, again. He was sort of expecting me to kiss him, though. His mouth opened and this time, we fought for dominance. He pulled me into him. Our kiss turned into several long, slow, intense ones. When he backed me up into the trestle table on the wall, he grabbed my ass and lifted me onto it. Then, I realized my bra had been unhooked through my dress and he had unzipped it under my arm. "That's a talent," I said, pulling away.

"I have a few more," he said, cunningly.

"So do I," I replied, just as deviously. I reached into the shoulder of my dress and pulled on the shoulder strap of my bra, then the other one, removing it all together through the arm hole of my dress. I dangled it out beside me and dropped it on the floor. I was so glad I hadn't worn pantyhose tonight. His eyebrows raised, and I saw his pants tighten a bit. All rational thought was leaving my brain, and probably his, too. The table was so shallow that I didn't have to lean that far back to lean on the wall. He pressed me up against it and pressed a kiss to my swollen mouth and then worked his way across my chin and onto the hollow of my neck. I moaned at the delicious sensation of him against me. I hadn't been with anybody in so long. I couldn't even touch myself with a baby sleeping five feet away from me for fear of waking her up. I wrapped my legs around his hips, and his hands slid up my thighs. "I want you so bad," I muttered into his ear, feeling his arousal.

"Ever since that day in your dad's kitchen," he said, his thumb sliding between the cloth of my thong and my slick folds. I moaned in response, pressing closer to him. "Uptight girls turn me on."

"I'm not uptight!" I cried.

"Not right now," he said, his other hand finding my breast through the wool of my dress. He began to rub with his thumb, causing me to moan and buck against him. He reached up my skirt and pulled my panties off and dropped them on the floor, leaving my ass naked on the table. Bending my legs so that my feet were on the narrow table beside me, it gave him better access to the most feverish part of me, although it was an awkward position. His hands made use of the new access, causing and releasing ache and pains I was completely unfamiliar with, now. It felt like I had never been touched there before, it had been so long. Animal-like moans escaped my mouth that I didn't recognize as my own for a moment.

Eagerly, I began to unbutton his navy blue silk shirt, exposing a perfect, pale chest. He was much more slender and sinewy than Mike had been, but I didn't have much time to admire him because he was stripping out of the rest of his clothes. He was just as eager for this as I was. I only had a moment to glimpse what he looked like- perfect- before he slid my bunched-up dress off my torso. "Bella, you are so beautiful," he muttered in a raspy voice. I wrapped my legs around his hips and he surged into me so hard it hurt. I squeezed my eyes shut and cried out, banging my head back against the wall. Gripping me under the arm, he used his thumb to tease my nipple as he thrust into me repeatedly, building the sensation of a pending climax as I moved with him. I gripped his shoulders and arched my back when it happened.

For a moment, I felt like I was floating, then falling to earth. It was a wonderful sensation; it lasted for several minutes, then the flush of endorphins, accompanied by a heavy full-body blush. I opened my eyes and literally saw stars in my vision. They were emerald, and closing in on my eyes.

"You look so beautiful right now," he said. His forehead met mine as I caught my breath. "That was amazing," he panted. "You're blushing- all over." He laughed, exhausted.

"I know," I said, catching my breath. "I always blush after I orgasm." That was the best sex I ever had, I thought. Then, I stiffened. Oh God, how could anybody be better at sex than Mike was with me? Mike… I had just insulted his memory in the worst way possible. I had just had made love to another man- not even one that I had a steady, committed relationship with, and it wasn't making love, it was sex. Cheap, smutty, tawdry, dirty sex. The kind where I simply used someone. On a table and I hadn't even done it with him in a bed, first? I had a child- at Alice's house, who was probably waking up, wanting to be nursed and have her diaper changed. What would she think of me if she was old enough to know what I had just done? This was whore-ish behavior and I had just lost all the virtue any widow could have. I had never been with anybody other than Mike. And I had just used Edward for my own personal satisfaction. I could always say that I never used anybody, but here I was, using Edward. I don't know what people did in Chicago, but living in Forks for the last few years had taught me not to do things like this to people. I was suddenly very sober.

Edward looked at me with concern. "What's the matter?"

"I just need to get back to Jeannie," I said.

"Of course," he replied.

I felt a nervous laugh escape from my mouth as he helped me off the narrow table. "I'm so sorry. I've just never done this before!"

"It's alright. Everybody does it once," he said.

"You have to understand, the only person I've ever been with was my husband," I stammered, picking my clothes up with trembling hands. "We- we've been together so long- we were together-"

"Bella, I understand," he said. He had donned his boxer-briefs, which were supposed to cover him up, but didn't make it any easier for me. "We didn't do anything wrong."

That wasn't quite the truth to me. Somehow, I managed to control my tears until I finished getting dressed and out of his house. I felt so guilty, so wrong. "You'll be OK?" he asked as I left.

"Mmm-hmm," I managed. He took my hand in his, lacing his fingers through mine, and kissed the back of my palm.

"I'll see you when I get back from Chicago," he said. "I'll try to call you." The proverbial I'll call you. Right. Sure he would. I got into the car and held it together until I was on the road. I had destroyed any chances at a relationship with Edward Cullen.

The backdoor to Alice's and Jasper's house was opened for me. Everyone had gone to bed and was asleep. I walked in and took my shoes and coat off, setting them down on the couch. Their living room was a mess- they hadn't done that much cleaning up after I left.

Upstairs, Jeannie was actually asleep. I picked her up and carried her to the bed. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I held my sleeping baby. I couldn't tell her that the only men I had ever slept with I had done so responsibly and in healthy long-term relationships when the time came. From today forward, that would be lying. She cuddled up to me, her head in the hollow of my neck.


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