A/N Twilight is not mine
Thanks to Sherry for blitz beta duties.
– Bella –
You're an angel, you are. And not even in disguise. You think I don't know what I mean to you. I know, I do. But I don't take it for granted, ever. Not anymore. I can't lose you, because you're mine. We both try hard to make this work, and it does.
It works.
I work full time as you go through your residency. You come home to me, often tired, but after a cuddle and a meal, you start talking about your day. Always with this glow in your eyes that makes me smile. You live for this. It's worth the struggle.
Always.
Double shifts at the hospital as your internship comes to an end. You work on papers and, too tired to check for mistakes, I read it over once more as you fall asleep with your head in my lap. My fingers in your hair. I love you, I love you.
I do.
Almost there, you're almost done. You don't realize I take over even more of the household duties. My fifty-hour weeks fade when it comes to the importance of your residency. At least, I think so. You come home to me, exhausted but happy. You try to be happy. We are counting the days.
Only ten to go.
It is come, the day has arrived — you'll be graduating. Your mentor is proud and in the general speech you're specifically mentioned. I snap a picture as you accept your certificate. Proud, so proud, I feel I'm going to burst. You did it. You made it.
You're a doctor now.
We've been on hold for years, or so it has felt. But you get offered a job right away and we get no time for rest. The holiday I arranged is canceled, I go back to my work when I should have been on leave. I smile like I mean it. An opportunity he couldn't miss, I tell my workmates. Plenty of time to travel once he's settled in.
Right?
Lost in your job, I lose track of you. I let you go, knowing how important it is for you to be sure in what you do. To my surprise you come back to me, suddenly, startled as if jolted awake. "No way," you say. "Not like that again. I'm not forgetting you." I smile and kiss you.
"I know."
Time passes as it has always done. Sometimes fast, sometimes slow. You call me at work one day, and I pick up, oblivious. You do that sometimes, just to hear my voice. But your voice doesn't sound right when you say hello. You say you have bad news.
You say I will want to sit down.
My father, an accident at work. As a cop, he always is at risk when on duty. A burglar, surprised at being caught, fired his gun. Charlie's abdomen is perforated, they're performing surgery. Internal bleeding, damage, the words form into a blur as the shock washes over me.
I sit down.
My mother doesn't know yet. She's hours away, unreachable as usual. I go to Angela's office, I have to go to the hospital but I have clients today. She looks at me as I relay the story, and immediately tells me she will take care of things. She calls me a cab.
She won't let me drive.
I wait for hours. Edward, I know, is still in the ER. Working on the man that shot my dad. I have to sit on my hands to keep myself from moving. Edward is helping the man that hurt my dad. Even though I this is how it goes, the injustice of it all makes me sick.
I cry.
My mother is still not even on her way here when a strange doctor tells me that my dad has been moved to recovery. Numb, like a robot, I follow the white coat through a long hallway. I have not eaten since this morning, and my empty stomach is playing up with the scents that burn in my nose.
He opens a door.
My dad, so frail suddenly in that big hospital bed. His breathing taken over by a monstrous device, the tube in his throat prevents him from speaking. His eyes open when he hears me coming in. I swallow my tears away. He can't see them.
I have to be strong.
I sit at his bed for hours, or days. I no longer know. I will not leave before I know he will live. I hold his hand, and every so often, he squeezes me. Like I am the one that should be reassured. Edward joins me later that night, broken and beat. He reads Charlie's chart, tries to sound upbeat.
I know he's lying.
Please, daddy, please, I don't want you to die. I'm not ready for that yet, and I know you aren't either. Stay strong and fight. I'll be right here with you. Renee is here too. You spend as much time with us as you can. Slowly, by the hour, I can see my dad getting stronger. After three days we're sure.
He's going to make it.
