KAIBA: *knocking on the window * HEY!
SHADI: Kaiba! How's it going?
KAIBA: Let me in! Fan girls are running me down!
T: Get in!
Kaiba jumps in the window, and the ground shakes violently, rattling the plates on the walls. Suddenly, everything goes back to normal.
KAIBA: That was close!
SHADI: *sigh * I wish I was that popular!
T: Stop your bellyaching!
KAIBA: I don't care if the fic is weird or insane! I want in! The fan girls are scaring me!
Shadi and T exchange glances.
SHADI: About that…
T: Um… Well, you see… This fic is prewritten.
KAIBA: What?
T: Hell ya. How else could I get three chapters up in one day? I started this thing around Christmas on my DOS computer, and I copied it to this one. Now I write the preludes with Shadi, and upload them. That way I make sure I finish it.
KAIBA: Well, can I stay with you guys then? They're starting to work together.
SHADI: Why not. You get the disclaimers.
T: Wait!
All stare
T: *pulls off mask* I really am Takahashi! *Shadi pulls off the second mask * …or not.
KAIBA: T is not Takahashi, Elton John, Lucas, The South Park Guys, or Tolkien. That would make for some personality disorder!
T: WHY does everyone say that?
Chapter Eighteen
ELTON IN PIECES
Thunder cracked outside, and the rain and sleet poured down in heavy sheets, so that nothing could be seen out of the windows.
Gandalf lit the end of his staff, as the power had gone out. Everyone was crowded in the living room, bored out of his or her mind.
"What're we gonna do? The storm isn't going to let up soon. We have nothing to do!"
"I can think of something that can be done in the dark." Elton said, leaning on Elrond, who hastily pulled away. Elton rolled his eyes. "Music." "Boring." "But-" "Boring." Yami Bakura repeated. "He's right you know. We can only listen to Candle in the Wind so many times." Yami Yugi said.
"Fine. Anyone else have any bright ideas?" Elton huffed. "I think I saw a puzzle around here somewhere. We could always light a few candles. It would pass the time."
Everyone shrugged. "I guess we could do that." Han said, journeying to the cellar for more candles.
Leia rummaged around under the couch, pulling out a box covered in a thick layer of dust. "Hey, there's a card attached! To The Witty Phantom, Merry Christmas, Martha Stewart. It's dated three years ago!"
"Would you blame him?" Elrond muttered. "The picture's all torn! I don't know what the puzzle is." Leia said, frustrated.
"One way to find out." Yugi said, clearing the table. Han returned with the candles, and the houseshare began piecing the puzzle together.
They had been at it for about an hour, when it finally started to take shape. "Hey, it looks like someone sitting at a piano!" Tea exclaimed. " I think you're right." Yami Bakura observed, placing a few more pieces down.
They continued on for another hour, Cartmen falling asleep at the table. Elton was sipping some brandy, and Gandalf was fighting hard to stay awake.
"I don't believe it! The four pieces that make up the face are missing!" Han said, slamming his fist down on the table. " If that hadn't happened, we'd be done." Yugi sighed. "Seems like such a waste. Two whole hours!"
"I say it's time this foolish toy went to the shadow realm!"
"Easy, Yami, Easy." Bakura said, holding his Yami back.
"I suppose you're right. I'll save my strength for other things." he said. He took a handful of pretzels and popped them into his mouth. Elrond did so as well.
Suddenly, Elrond began coughing and choking. Clearing his throat loudly, he spat the object onto the floor, and bent down to pick it up. When he did this, Elton made a point to look at his backside.
"You turn your gaze away this instant, Curr, or I'll make sure this makes a journey right up your-"
"Elrond!" Tea exclaimed, gripping his wrist. "You found one of the puzzle pieces!" " Or on it choked, yes." Yoda said with a snicker. Elrond snapped it in, glaring at Han who laughed. "Really now, what idiot chokes on a pretzel!"
"Now for the other three." Leia sighed. Everyone looked around, until Yugi cried out, pointing to Gandalf.
"Look, in his beard!" " I'm not getting it." Legolas said, wrinkling his nose. "He once had a chicken wing in there for a week." Everyone looked at one another, before Yugi sighed. "I'll get it." Daintily, he reached into Gandalf's beard, pulling it out. Gandalf woke with a start.
"Balrog! Oh.. Hello Yugi." He replied sheepishly.
Elrond rolled his eyes, shaking his head. "Honestly, all of that hobbit weed has fried your brain." "It has not!" Gandalf protested, knocking Elton's glass out of his hand.
A soggy puzzle piece flopped onto the table. "Just one more and we'll know!" Leia said excitedly. Jabba began gurgling, and Elrond nodded. "He's found the last piece."
"Where?" "In Cartmen's mouth."
Everyone looked in disgust at Cartmen. His mouth was open wide, and a deep puddle of drool was on the table. He was snoring loudly, the strings of slobber swaying in the breeze.
Elrond sighed loudly, rolling up his sleeve. He winced, rummaging around in Cartmen's slime filled mouth before pulling out the piece.
Everyone gagged as he flung it into place, wiping his hand off on his robes. "Well, what is it a picture of?" Han said, and they all crowded around the table.
"I can't believe we wasted our time on this!" Tea roared, looking at the completed puzzle, which was in fact a picture of Elton.
" Hey clammy! I guess now you can say that you choked on a piece of Elton!" Cartmen laughed, banging his fist on the table.
"You're dead!" Elrond roared, racing after him. Gandalf sighed heavily, as the lights flicked on. "At least the power's on."
"What did it taste like? Cardboard, naturally- Oh, Oh I see! You perverted child!" Elrond hollered. A sickening crash was heard, and Cartmen laughed hysterically. Everyone winced.
"I don't get it." Legolas confessed, blinking.
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SHADI: Come on, Kaiba! Belly dance with us!
KAIBA: No.. Well… Okay.
Kaiba joins in, tossing his briefcase to the ground. Papers fly out, spelling the words "Read and review"
WRESTLING ANNOUNCER: Up next, next next! The nun infestation! Infestation! Infestation!
T: where the hell did that come from?
WRESTLING ANNOUNCER: *pause * you mean this isn't the arena?
SHADI: *belly dancing * No.
WRESTLING ANNOUNCER: Damn you Bill, Bill, Bill! For those crappy instructions! Instructions! Instructions! OH YEAH!
