A/N I don't own the Private series. Kate Brian does.
Previously in Scandal Like Never Before
I eventually did meet his eyes, which looked pained. He leaned in carefully, afraid of my reaction and as his soft lips gently brushed over mine, a spark of electricity flowed through my body and I responded eagerly, something he wasn't expecting. The kiss quickly deepened as he leaned over me on the couch and I stopped myself, pushing him away gently before things went too far. He stared back at me with a smile playing at his lips and I met his dancing eyes with my own unsuppressed grin. What had I gotten myself into?
Oh my god, I am the worst person ever. My ex-boyfriend is under the impression that he's forgiven, and my best friend is under the impression that he has a chance with me. I am so screwed. The only question I have answer now is, who? Which guy will make me happy? Which guy will I not regret choosing? And most importantly, which guy do I feel best around? Both. That was the only answer I could come up with and I knew that I had to get out of the Art Cemetery. Fast.
"Sawyer..I-I have to go. Billings business, you understand?" I was stammering and was wishing that he would just assent to me leaving already.
"Reed, we need to talk. What happened between us-" I cut him off with my hand before he could go any further, already more than willing to bolt out of there.
"I have to go. We'll talk later. Text me or something, okay?" My words came out in a rush and halfway through, I was already backing out of the room. I rushed out of there before Sawyer could even get a chance to nod at my pathetic excuses. I stumbled out of the cemetery, the biting wind chilling my body despite me being well-dressed. Half in a daze after the kiss and my own emotions getting the best of me, I rushed back to the hotel I temporarily called my home. This problem was not going to get solved by myself. I needed backup and I knew Noelle would be there for me. Unfortunately, I forgot that classes were still going on and I should be in Calculus right now, listening to the droning voice of Ms. Oxwell. So, I decided to just skip the rest of the day, never minding that the headmaster would have my ass for this and the fact that my scholarship was hanging on a thread right now. No, I decided that being torn between two guys is definitely more important than receiving an education.
Once I was at the hotel, I realized how bad of an idea this really was. Noelle or any of the other Billings girls wouldn't come here until four, and it was only two o'clock and I had nothing to do. Crap. Two hours and only my thoughts to accompany me was a dangerous situation to be in. Two hours passed by in the slowest way possible. It consisted of me reading the buffet menu, watching nature TV and doing pretty much anything to keep my mind off the two kisses I so whorely shared with the two guys who cause me the most emotional trouble. When I heard the click of the hotel door opening, I barely resisted the urge to jump on Noelle as she entered our living room. She didn't look the least bit surprised that I was there, sprawled over the couch, boredom evident on my face. She didn't even acknowledge the fact that I was there, until I carefully cleared my throat after an unbearable awkward silence. Noelle raised her head at me, an incredulous look in her eyes.
"Reed Brennan finally decides to talk to her best friend? Amazing" She said in the most sarcastic voice possible as realization dawned on me. I have been so caught up in my love life, and having Sawyer as a new friend, I completely forgot the people who who were there for me from the beginning.
"Oh my god, Noelle. I am so so sorry. I didn't mean to..." I quieted down as I saw her face. Noelle was pissed. Great.
"Save it. So what are you doing here exactly? Running away from your problems?" She asked in an amused tone, and I knew she only put up that angry facade to make me feel guilty. Oh the clever mind of Noelle Lange. But in reality I was relieved because a best friend was just who I needed at the moment.
"Actually, I need your help." I said steadily, unsure of how to continue telling what happened today. She simply motioned with her hands for me to go on, resuming her stance, leaning against the wall near the entryway. I patted the space beside me on the couch, somehow believing that her proximity would make it easier for me to spill. She reluctantly pushed off the wall and came to sit down on the arm of the couch.
"Spill" Her voice was clipped but I knew she was curious all the same.
"Well-I-um..today, Josh and Sawyer, both, kind of...kissed me." I stumbled on every word, spilling out a very disconnected sentence. Noelle just pursed her lips in concentration, not a hint of surprise on her face.
"I knew it would come to this. The way they both look at you, you would think they've never seen a girl before." She smirked and I let the snarky comment pass.
"Noelle, this is serious. I-I have no idea what I'm doing." I whispered, not trusting my voice to keep strong. My eyes were pleading and she sighed, her look softening from its usual firmness.
"I'm going to sound like a soap opera, but really Reed, just follow your heart. And as much as I know that you're looking for my decisive advice, all I have to say is that maybe, considering you and Josh's previous history, you should give someone else a chance." He sincerity left me in awe, but as much as I hated to admit it, Noelle was right. I've been so blinded by my constant desire to have things go back to the way they were, I never payed attention to the open choices I had in front of me. Sawyer obviously cared about me enough to spill his heart out and Josh was the past I had to let go of, no matter how much it pained me.
"You're right Noelle," I ignored the 'duh' she sent my way, knowing all too well that Noelle wasn't heartfelt for long.
"Then what the hell are you doing here?" She asked with a knowing smirk. Okay, I was confused. Noelle must be seriously bipolar.
"Huh?" Her annoyed look was boring into me and I nearly managed to squeak the word out, feeling stupid already as realization dawned on me. She wanted to me to go out there and put my life in order, for once.
"You know for a scholarship student, you're really dense. Just go glass-licker! Get your man." I laughed at her exasperated tone and the long-lost nickname that she managed to revive every once in a while. I jumped off the coach, a new type of motivation leading the way. Putting on the Louboutins I was so kindly gifted, I skipped over to Noelle to give her a hug as she waved me off. Laughing I made my way out of the hotel, rushing to button-up my coat. Noelle's words clear in my mind, 'Just follow your heart.' For once, that was exactly what I was doing, ignoring the possible consequences. This was my time to be happy. Screw Upton. Screw Ivy. And most definitely screw Josh.
I hadn't realized that I was already at Easton as the great metal gates loomed ahead. The guard was lazily draped over his post, and barely got up as he saw me approach. Thanks to the all-access pass Noelle organized for us because of the ball preparations, all I had to do was wave the pass in front of his face and I was free to go in and out of school as I please. The guard just nodded his head and the gates creaked open and I all but ran inside. It was already five, and I hoped that Sawyer was still in his dorm. This cannot wait.
I burst through the dorm door and was face to face with a shocked Graham. Apparently I interrupted an intimate moment, and when Graham saw me, his eyes wide, he started buttoning up his shirt as quickly as possible and the girl on his bed hid herself under the covers. Just my luck.
It was a moment before any of us was able to say something. "Reed-I-uh, what are you doing here?" He looked as awkward as possible and suddenly he wasn't the only one feeling embarrassed.
"Umm, I was looking for Sawyer. Do you know where he is?" I managed to stutter out and started moving backward towards the open door, more than ready to get out of there.
"Library." I nodded quickly and cursed myself for walking in on them. Graham mumbled a 'see you Reed' and I was too embarrassed to respond, so I just ran down the stairs, hoping not to trip.
How did I not think that Sawyer would be in the library? It pretty much describes the typical Sawyer. So I fast-walked to the ancient building which would eventually crumble on itself, being careful to avoid the ice spread out over the quad. The library was free of people and I sighed in relief. The librarian shot a glance in my direction and got back to reading her book, obviously uninterested. It took a while to find Sawyer since the Library was spread out over two floors, but I finally saw a figure, sitting in one of the armchairs placed in each row, hunched over a book. I assumed it was Sawyer since there was no one else in the library. As I approached, he slightly lifted his head towards me, and without so much as a second glance, went back to his book. My stomach churned, and I felt my knees weakening as the hurt was obvious on his face. He poured his heart out into our kiss, and I ran away, rejecting him without a second thought. I went to sit on the arm of the chair and began reading over his shoulder. I didn't know what else to do and in hopelessness and the thought that my chance at happiness was blown, I start shedding tears. Sawyer looked up at me with a pained expression, and my heart constricted. I had to say something. I needed to make things right.
"I-I am so sorry. Sawyer, I didn't mean to. It-it's just that when you kissed me I had no idea what to do because it was unexpected. So I just ran away from it all." I was barely able to say the words out loud as his eyes bore into mine.
"Reed, you could've just told me. That-that you didn't like me in that way. It would have saved me what I went through." His voice cracked at the last word as he put his face in his hands, and my heart went out to him. As much as I wanted to just hold him, I knew I had to go on. I needed to explain myself.
"Sawyer, I wasn't leading you on," he lifted his head and looked at me, urging me to go on. "I feel the same way about you. The reason I ran away was because I still had feelings for Josh. And I couldn't imagine myself with anyone else."
"If you would just give me a chance Reed-" I cut him off, needing to finish.
"I know. And I'm willing to, as long as you'll take me back." The last part was a whisper and I didn't know how much longer I could keep my voice strong. He looked at me with incredulous eyes and I took that as a bad sign. So I slowly got up from the armchair, reluctant to leave, but gasped when I felt a warm hand around my arm. He was taking me back. Sawyer was giving me another chance. Before I could turn my head, I felt his arms wrap around m waist and pull me onto his lap. His book long-forgotten, he touched his soft lips to mine and for once, I felt as if things were right. As if this was the way they were meant to be. I welcomed the kiss and as quickly as he kissed me, he pulled away and sighed.
"I'll always take you back. No matter what," he said smiling at me in a way that made me feel as if I was the luckiest girl. And at this moment, I was.
I simply leaned in and kissed him again, wrapping my arms around his neck, feeling like I belonged there. In his arms. We both pulled away reluctantly and I settled into his lap, my head on his chest, and his arm tightly wrapped around my waist.
The librarian came over to where we were sitting and cleared her throat, putting her hands on her hips. She pushed her glasses further up her nose and tapped her foot impatiently. I covered my mouth to keep from laughing and Sawyer just chuckled. Then out of nowhere he picked me up, one hand under the crook of my leg and the other firmly under my arms, and skipped across the library to the entrance.
He walked me back to the hotel, and hand in hand, we entered the door of my hotel room, oblivious to the smirk Noelle was giving me and the open-jaws of the Billings girls. I simply smiled innocently and kissed Sawyer goodbye, earning even more shocked looks. He walked out of the room, curtly waving at the girls, as I settled into the couch in front of the TV. As soon the door closed with a click, they ran over to me, covering the TV from my view, and occupying every seating space in the living room. Their eyes were all eager and I sighed.
Noelle walked over to me lastly, sitting on the only unoccupied space next to me on the white leather couch and smirked, showing her signature all-knowing look.
"Spill."
Well here you go guys! I apologize to Josh fans, but don't worry, there will be more Josh coming up. Reed hasn't said goodbye to drama yet =)
Tell me in your reviews whether you loved this chapter, hated it..etc.
I would like have some ideas proposed if you want, although I do know how I'm gonna play it out. Kind of.
Happy New Year's! And if you'd like to give me a nice present, click that green button down there and get reviewing!
=]
Maks
