Severus sat with Sera and talked with her for nearly an hour before he could tell she was starting to tire. Despite her assertions that she just needed a little fresh air he could see she was still weak and vowed to make sure she didn't tax herself too much while she was still coming back from the curse. Whatever was needed, he would do it to keep her healthy and safe.
And with him.
Their hands had stayed comfortably joined as she asked question after question about the things she could remember. What had happened to certain classmates, did he know anything about her sisters, who was the Minister of Magic. He answered everything he could, but was careful to avoid the subject of the Dark Lord, Death Eaters and the war that had been going on at the time of her disappearance. And through some great mercy, she didn't ask anything that he would have to answer with hard truths.
When her eyes started to slip close after they reached a brief silence, he laid his hand on her head, awkwardly stroking her hair. He had been with other women in the carnal way, of course, but his knowledge of affection was not much better then it had been fifteen years ago. Perhaps it was even worse. But he still felt an urge to touch her, in part to reassure himself that she was indeed still there.
His actions apparently had a soothing effect on her, because a few minutes later she seemed to be completely asleep. He stood up and carefully set the hand he had been holding on her chest. For a moment he just stood there, staring down at her sleeping form while emotions washed over him in dizzying waves. He hated feeling so out of control, so raw, but she'd had that effect on him since the first day they met.
After making sure none of Pomfrey's nurses were watching, he bent over and brushed his lips softly over her forehead. The tenderness in him was the most upsetting emotion of all, because it was the one he knew the least how to deal with.
"Ah, Severus." Dumbledore's blue eyes twinkled behind his spectacles as the Potions Master walked into his office. "I've been expecting you."
"Have you now?" Severus drawled in return, giving him a slight glare as he settled himself into the chair across from the expansive desk.
The old wizard took his seat on the other side and tented his fingers, looking supremely pleased. More pleased then someone ought to be on another's account, Severus was quite sure, if Dumbledore was on the same train of mind that he was currently on.
"I've had Poppy keep me updated on young Seraphina's condition. She seems confident that the girl will make a full recovery."
While this news pleased Severus, he made no show of it on his face. "There seems to be an improvement in her, which means we must discuss her future. Her father is dead and her sisters are unavailable."
"But I believe she's still engaged." Dumbledore pointed out, a sparkle still in his eyes.
"Yes." He replied carefully. "There is that."
The old wizard before him shook his white head slightly. "Are you going to tell me you're not very well aware that it is up to you to fulfill or break the engagement, Severus?"
"Of course I am." Severus sneered lightly. "But do you think I'm the sort of man that would force a woman into marriage? A woman that is, in fact, not much more then a girl?"
Dumbledore smiled serenely in response. "I have a feeling she would be happy to wed you, Severus."
"I'm not asking for your feelings, Albus." His tone was icy. "What I am asking you, however, is if she can stay in my quarters until the matter of the engagement has been resolved."
"Wouldn't it just be easier to marry her now? Surely if you want her to stay in your quarters you want to pursue a relationship with her. And there are benefits to marriage you could be enjoying."
Now that was uncalled for, he silently fumed.
"Do you think I am a hormonal teenager that only thinks of carnal pleasures when I see a young, beautiful woman that also happens to be my fiancee?" Severus seethed at the old wizard. "That all I can concern myself with is a good -"
Dumbledore raised his hand, the serene expression gone from his face and replaced with a stony one. Apparently now Severus had gone too far, though he really didn't care. Of course he saw Sera has a beautiful woman, but he was much more concerned with her reaction to his past then any physical attractions he had to her.
He couldn't marry her and tell her later. He'd done some horrible things in his past and he wanted to start his marriage, if Sera would have him, without lies. There had been too many lies in his life and undoubtedly more to come. But with Sera he was determined to tell her the truth in all matters.
"I merely suggest, Severus, that you are complicating matters." The old wizard intoned firmly. "If you desire to take her as your wife, you are well within your rights. You owe her no explanations for your past, present or future deeds."
A nasty sneer twisted the Potion Master's face. "For someone who values the truth so highly, you seem to think that the best course of action is lies. She might not be asking about it yet, but if you're right and what we think is about to take place is indeed approaching, it is going to come to light."
"I am not suggesting lies." Suddenly Dumbledore looked like he had indeed spent a century on the earth, his voice weary and his expression downcast. "Severus, you are embarking into an area of life I know little, if anything, about. The human heart is as complicated as the human mind, minus the logic and reason. You have an honorable desire, to be honest with the girl you once loved, to want her to accept your past and believe there is better in you."
A soft smile crossed his face. "I have seen the best in you, Severus, and I know that if Seraphina looks for it, she will find it as well. And she will find herself with a very fitting husband."
He wanted to say something sarcastic about the old wizard's usual flair for the cryptic, but Severus found himself too busy thinking if those words could even come true. "I have to tell her, Albus." He finally said softly. "Whether you approve or not."
"If you feel you must, would my disapproval even stop you?" The spark had returned to Dumbledore's eyes. "I do not think it would. And I admire that in you, Severus. But we both know what is coming, and I hope you will not lose sight of that."
Foolish old man! How could he lose sight of the fact that every morning the Dark Mark was just a tiny bit clearer? The prickle of the skin across his forearm, telling him to make himself ready for the return of the Dark Lord was reminder enough, and then there was the Potter boy always in sight. He couldn't forget the promise he'd made to protect the boy, to make sure he faced his destiny, even if he tried. Even if he wanted to.
No matter how much he wanted to.
Two days later Sera was doing well enough that Madame Pomfrey felt she was ready to leave the infirmary. The elves brought her old school trunk to Severus's quarters and he had them put a cot in his bedroom. He wasn't going to take anything for granted, neither that she still wanted to marry him nor that she would be completely safe at Hogwarts.
She was dressed in faded jeans and a white peasant blouse as he led her to the bedroom, where her trunk rested at the end of the cot. Her blue eyes seemed to take in everything and a slow smile spread across her pretty face when she saw his bed wasn't far from where she would sleep.
"Very nice." Sera settled on the cot and crossed her legs. "Thank you, Severus. I appreciate you letting me stay with you."
Severus sat down on his own bed, facing her. He studied her very closely, not sure what he should say in reply. He was so horrible with emotions, and he hadn't really expressed anything but negative emotions for so long. How would he tell Sera about his past and what would come in the future if he couldn't even tell her that he wanted to uphold the engagement?
"Sera..." For someone who had seen more then a few situations where his words could mean life or death, Severus was more afraid of hearing Sera's likely rejection then he had ever been in those situations. He found himself getting up and joining Sera on her cot, taking one of her hands in both of his. Squeezing it firmly, he looked into her pale blue eyes.
"Severus?" Her voice was soft, questioning.
Rarely did Severus Snape ever just go with the flow or follow his heart, or at least what was left of it, but at that moment he dipped his head and kissed her softly on the mouth. His heart was pounding in his ears as it had been the first time he'd kissed her, and he felt the same elation when she responded. His hands let go of hers and lightly circled his waist, pulling her closer to him. Her hands rested on his chest in reply, slowly moving upwards until her arms were around his neck.
When they finally had to come up for air, Severus didn't need to say anything because Sera spoke first, smiling brightly at him. "Do you...I mean...we are still engaged, right?"
"Do you want to be?" He asked carefully, holding his breath as he waited for a reply.
"Yes." She nodded slowly. "I know a lot has changed, but I still feel the same way about you as I did when I came here for my last year of school. You're older and you seem even more sullen, though granted you were never a happy go lucky sort of bloke, but you're still the boy who gave me my first kiss on the roof."
"Oh Sera..." Severus felt a lump form in his throat. "You have no idea quite how much has changed, and I cannot even entertain the idea of fulfilling the vow before I tell you everything."
Sera's hand slid into his and she nodded for him to continue.
