T: *Watching 'Oprah' eat hors d'oeuvres* Why is she still here?

SHADI: How should I know?

T: *Hitting him* Because you're the one who invited her!

SHADI: *Smugly and with his eyes closed* You keep this up and I won't tell you who I got to explain the science behind this Time Bubble we're standing in.

T: *Jerking her thumb at 'Oprah'* Another comedic mishap?

SHADI: Nope, he's the real deal.

T: All right, you've got my attention. Who's the real deal?

SHADI: Dr. Who. Who better to explain time-related science?

T: Lame.

SHADI: Come on!

T: We've already got a fake Oprah, Shadi, we don't need a fake Dr. Who.

SHADI: But he is Dr. Who. *Calling over his shoulder* Come on in!

A skinny man in a pink shirt, purple bow tie and leather-patched tweed jacket bounces into the room. Looking it over once with a pair of quick blue eyes, he pushes his floppy brown hair out of his eyes and runs at T, who is frozen with her mouth wide open and her hands clenched in claws of frustration.

MS: Hello! *Clapping his hands* Who needs some technical mumbo-jumbo?

T: You're not Dr. Who.

MS: Yes I am.

T: No you're not.

MS: Yes, I am.

SHADI: *Giddily* Yes, he is.

T: He's Matt Smith.

MS: That I am! *Clapping his hands* Okay, so where shall I start?

T: Everyone knows David Tennant is the real Dr. Who.

MS: The tenth doctor, yes. Who better to play the eleventh *To Shadi* Did she laugh?

SHADI: Not even a smile.

T: I can name quite a few who'd be better than you.

MS: Oh.

T: David Tennant.

MS: Well, all right, I'll give you that one.

T: And pretty much every other UK actor out there.

MS: Why doesn't anybody like meeee? :_ (

T: *Pulls out a document entitled Itemized List* Let's see...

MS: Well, enough of that *clapping his hands* Okay, let's get started, shall we?

T: Stop doing that.

MS: Stop doing what *clapping his hands*

T: Clapping your hands.

MS: I'm not clapping my hands. *clapping his hands*

T: Yes, you are, you do it all the time! It's really annoying.

MS: I never clap my hands *clapping his hands*

T: Yaaaaaaaaaaaargh!

T grabs Matt Smith's wrists and the two fight, knocking each other around the inside of the time bubble. Shadi leaps around them, making faces and hissing in sympathy pain. Getting down on his hands and knees he slaps the floor like a wrestling ref, T having gotten Matt Smith on the floor.

MS: But... They... Say... I'm... Cute! *clapping his hands*

T screams and pulls out her hair. Matt Smith pushes her off, pushing her into 'Oprah', who drops the platter and turns around glaring, bits of crumbled cheese around his ruby red lips. These lips part in a gigantic smile as he sees Matt Smith, and batts his eyelashes.

MS: Oh dear.

'OPRAH': Spinach puff, handsome?

MS: N-N-No thank you, really I'm fine.

Squealing, he runs behind the couch, 'Oprah' on the other side of it and moving with him.

MS: I think I hear the TARDIS calling me!

'OPRAH': Is there room in that box for two?

MS: *Sprinting with 'Oprah' hot on his heels* T doesn't own South Park, Lord of The Rings, Yu-Gi-Oh, Star Wars, or even me, Dr. Who! Save me, Steven Moffat, save me!

T: *Slamming the door* And stay in the Pandorica!

Chapter 28

A PARTY TO CELEBRATE THE INEVITABLE END, ADIEU MES AMIS!

Everyone was dressed in his or her Sunday best. The Fed Ex man had been invited for his trouble, and other guests included Martha Stewart, Colonel Saunders, Charlie Chaplin, the Sister of Saint Saintly, Meter Pansbridge, Juan and Julio accompanied by Bullzilla, Edgar Allen Poe, Dr. Phil and Steve Irwin.

Bakura and his Yami were sitting in the corner, sipping punch and trying not to be noticed, for fear of Bullzilla and the nuns.

"Oh, I love your show." Chaplin said to Martha, catching her arm.

"Really?" She said, with a grotesque smile.

"Oh, definitely. How is it you get grass stains out of a bowler hat?"

The conversation dragged on and Meter Pansbridge, who had been standing nearby, shuddered and walked walked up to the bar, where the Witty Phantom and Fed Ex man were sitting, knocking back drinks like no tomorrow.

"Damn that Martha Stewart." The Phantom muttered.

"What I don't get," Fed ex guy began with a resounding belch. "Is how she finds the time or energy to make all them purty things. She's fifty eight!"

"I agree." Meter said, sitting down to talk with the people with whom he shared an interest. "Rum and coke!"

Elton was playing the piano for the happy, dancing couples. Legolas and Gollum dancing together were the most skilled of all. Gandalf was also dancing, but he wasn't one thousandth as skilled- the paramedics stood at the edge of the floor, annoyed at being called over to 'help the old man having a seizure'.

The Mother Superior of Saint Saintly chased Cartmen around the room with her ruler, he having agreed to say his own special version of grace before they all sat down to the buffet.

"The Raven was published in 1846." Poe was telling Han.

"Is that the one with the weird bird?"

"You, sir, have no attention to the arts." Poe sighed, rolling his eyes. "Would you like to hear it?"

"Yeah, sure, but then you've got to tell me about that wine!"

"Certainly, my pleasure." He replied with a twisted grin.

"Go Phil! Go Phil!" Leia, Elrond, Juan and Yami Yugi chanted, watching Phil do the limbo with extreme expertise.

"I've never seen something like you before." Steve Irwin said, looking curiously at Chewie who growled in approval. "Can I get a dekko at your choppers?"

Tea was ranting on about friendship to Jabba, who didn't seem to mind in the least. But that might have been because he was next to the speakers, and couldn't hear a word she was saying. Yoda -dancing around in his underpants- finally got dragged out by security when he bribed the DJ to play Flashdance's 'She's A Maniac' and promised 'an authenic amateur restaging, yes' to the hat check girl.

"Listen, Yugi." The Colonel said, coming up to him. "I'm sorry about the whole trying to kill you thing."

"That's okay." Yugi replied cheerfully. "Chicken?"

"Absolutely- so long as it's not that damn fried dough ball on a stick."

"Fine!" Bakura hissed to Bullzilla. "I'll dance with you, but if those hooves get somewhere they shouldn't be, you'll be ground beef!"

Bullzilla mooed in approval, and Bakura, feeling stupid, followed him to the dance floor.

"I wonder what kids you'd have!" Yami Bakura called to him.

"Shut up!" Bakura hissed back. "I'm only doing this to be rid of him!"

Bullzilla turned around, mooing in perplexity.

"No, nothing." Bakura said hastily.

Yami Bakura, giving up, went over to the buffet and ate with the nuns, who screamed and covered their eyes as Yoda ran in, stark naked singing Copacabana at the top of his lungs.

"Her name was Lola, showgirl she was! With feathers yellow in her hair and skirt there down to!"

"Alright, rummy, let's go." The security guard said roughly, trying to catch him.

"No, that's okay!" Barry Manilow called, appearing out of nowhere to toss Yoda his jacket. "I'm sorry I'm late, I made it through the rain." Gandalf ran up onstage and produced his fiddle, and Elton began to play. Barry Manilow stretched out on the piano, taking a mike from his blazer pocket.

"Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl, with yellow feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to there! She could meringue, and do the cha-cha, but while she tried to be a star, Tony always tended bar. Across the crowded floor, he worked from eight till four, They were young and they had each other, who could ask for more! Down at the Copa, Copacabana, the hottest spot north of Havanna! at the Copa, Copacabaaaaaana! Music and passion, were always the fasion down at the Copa... They fell in love..."

"Ooooh ooooh ooooh!" Went Gandalf and Elton.

Suddenly a dark curtain swept across the scene, leaving only the Witty Phantom standing in front of it. He cleared his throat, and began speaking:

"If we shadows have offended, think but this, and all is mended; that you have but slumbered here, while these visions did appear. With this weak and idle theme, no more yielding but a dream. Gentles, do not reprehend, if you will pardon, we will mend. And as I am and honest schmuck, if we have unearned luck, now to scape the serpent's tongue, and make amends ere long. Unless this dude a liar call, so good night unto you all. Give me your hands, if we be friends, and The witty phantom shall restore amends."

"MAAAACARROOONS!" Cried Martha, running across and snatching the Phantom. "Nyaaaaaaahhhh!"

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\/

SHADI: T, are you crying?

T: I've just got something in my eye.

SHADI: It's okay to be sad, the story is over.

T: *Bawls* I know I haven't written it in years but it still feels like- like- like a part of my life has ended!

SHADI: Well, you are more... *Holding his hands out in front of his chest* mature than when you first started it.

T: *Sniffling* Shut up! Why, I oughta-

SHADI: Bellydance, milday?

T: Aw, what the hell. For old time's sake.

T and Shadi begin to bellydance, soon joined by Watson and the Crone, 'Oprah' and a very relucant Matt Smith. Smiling and grooving to the music, they are unaware of the balloons and confetti raining down on them, balloons and confetti that spell the words 'Read and Review' and 'Finis.'

T: Merci, salut de la visite!