Henry sees the light, well, sort of.
Hey, everyone. Exams are over with! Woot! Woot! That means my school work is over for the summer, which is weird. It's my first year of Uni and I'm not used to the summer being so long. Okay, I actually thought this would be the chapter where all the action happens, and arrests and Lassie shooting someone, like I promised. But.... This scene with Henry just popped into my head, and then Shawn and Lassiter wanted another angsty chat, and well... there is a gun in it! And the action is coming soon! Also, all the Henry fans might not decide to lynch me now, as i gave him a nice little scene where he wasn't a complete jackass.
The lamp was broken.
It was a damned ugly thing, but it had been on the bedside table in Henry's bedroom for over a decade.
It was in the shape of an elephant. Shawn had made it, at school. In shop class, as far as Henry remembered. Shawn had thought he was being so clever taking shop, that it would be a doss class. But the kid soon realised that it was harder than it looked. Henry didn't object. He thought that learning how to make things with his own two hands would be good for the kid. He'd even tried to teach him himself, but you saw what a mess he made of the doghouse.
The light was supposed to go on when you pulled the elephant's trunk. But Henry pulled the trunk, and the light didn't go on. He changed the bulb, but it still didn't work. He carefully turned it over and got into its guts. The haphazard collection of wires that came out made him chuckle, humourlessly. It was so Shawn. The way he'd wired up the lamp made no logical sense. There were connections that didn't need to be there and circuits that dead ended. But, the lamp had still worked for over a decade. Henry waded through the spaghetti and found the loose connection. He soldered it and when he pulled the trunk, the light came on. If only Shawn was as easy to sort out. Contrary to popular belief, he did love his son. Really. But... he wasn't good at all that emotional stuff. He was trying, and God knows he'd been getting in touch with his feelings more lately, but he still wasn't very good at relating to the kid.
How was he supposed to change the habits of a lifetime?
If he was honest, he'd say he was scared. His son was hurt, and he didn't notice. He'd just been expecting some dumb prank. But then his boy had walked into the station, so pale, so hurt, so defeated. He didn't know how to deal with that. And he was angry with himself, for not realising sooner, and he was terrified that Shawn might be really hurt, even killed.
How was he supposed to deal with that? It was easier to help Shawn out when the kid wasn't there, or when he could pretend he was just doing it for help in the garden, or fishing. But when Shawn was right there, and so needy and helpless... that scared Henry.
It was better if he stayed away. And there was an old games console of Shawn's that needed fixing.
"So, do I need to cuff you to the bed to keep you here?"
"I think we can skip that this time. I know my father might disagree, but I'm not stupid enough to run away from my only protection."
"Good. That means I have you captive, and in a way you can't lock-pick your way out of." Lassie said acerbically. "Now you have to talk."
"What?"
"You, depressed and drinking. Do you do that a lot?"
"Not often. Usually Gus can talk me round. But he was away." Shawn shifted uncomfortably in his chair. "Look, can we just not talk about this?"
"We're talking about this. you need to talk about this."
"Who died and made you my mother?"
"You, if you're not careful."
"I don't want to talk about this. enough, okay?"
"No. Not okay." Lassiter ran a hand through his hair. "I...I'm worried about you." Boy, that was hard to say.
"Why Lassie-pants! I do declare! You care about me!"
"Shawn. Stop that." Lassiter frowned. "This is serious. I... Please." Shawn stared at him in silence for a long moment.
"What's it matter to you? I've dealt with this. I'm fine. Leave my mind to me. You just take care of my body." I could have worded that better.
"You could have worded that better." Lassiter grinned a little, then he sobered. "When I was a rookie, my best friend was one of the most irritating people I ever met. He was always bouncing around. Perky, you know? I didn't mind it so much back then. But sometimes... he wouldn't calm it down, even when we would talk to victim's families. But we needed him around. he made us all relax. He cheered us up so much, when we really needed him. I found him one day, he'd eaten his gun."
"I...I'm sorry."
"His note said he was tired. Tired of pretending. Of carrying us all. He could have talked to me. But, no. He hid everything. He thought he had to carry it all himself and keep it hidden."
"I'm sorry."
"You said that already."
"I know."
There was a long pause.
"I told you I have a high IQ. I have a photographic memory. If I wanted to, I could be anything, do anything. Do you know what it's like to be the smartest guy in every room? My dad did me a favour when he refused to tell the school. I would have been moved up, I would have been bullied. I was bullied, but not as much as I could have been, because I was careful. I kept my abilities hidden. I would have been moved up, and the pressure... I don't think I would have coped. Instead, I was bored, I acted out. I had a tiny attention span. Still do. And I acted the clown to entertain myself. I didn't need to pay attention, I could sit exams with my eyes closed and my hands tied behind my back. The amount of times I got pulled into the Principal's office for cheating." Shawn smiled ruefully and shook his head. "I got so used to pretending and I got told I was stupid and bad so many times, I guess it stuck. You tell a kid something often enough, they believe you. It was easier to keep pretending. Do you know how that feels? That people would believe I'm an idiot rule breaker easier than they can believe I actually have a brain?"
"No. I can't imagine."
"And I can't show that I actually have a heart, or a brain, because that breaks the facade. Gus is the only one who knows who I am. Who actually sees me. And I try, but it's hard. It's so God-damned hard. I'm just not brave enough to tell people the truth, because... what if they see the real me and don't like it? What if the real me is so bad... I have to keep pretending. I'm like the scarecrow, lion and tin man all rolled into one." The two men shared a real smile, and Lassiter went and got a bottle of beer each from the fridge. "But then... things happen. Like that girl. She shouldn't have died. That was my fault. I should have seen it. The connection, it was right there. I should have seen it. And when I did see it, I should have called you right away, instead of pulling a vision."
"It wasn't your fault. If it wasn't for you, we never would have..." Lassiter looked up suddenly. "What was that?"
"What was what?"
"Didn't you hear that?"
"Hear what?"
They both listened for a moment.
"Nothing, I guess."
A lot happened very quickly. The next thing that Shawn was clear on, was the gun pointed at his face.
Gus got out of the cab. He had left his Echo behind while he was out of town. He grabbed his bag and walked up to the door. He knocked. There was no answer. Gus frowned. He knocked again and called out.
"Shawn! Lassiter!" there was no response. He knocked again, harder. Still no answer, but the lights were on and he could hear the TV. He wished, briefly, for Shawn's lock picking skills.
Gus pulled out his cell and dialled.
Okay, so, what did you think? Huh? What? I can't hear you! Oh, right, you need to press the little button and review for me to know what you think. :-) hint hint.
I've set it up, so the action will definitely come in the next chapter. I actually can't avoid it, given the way I left this one.
Also, kudos to anyone who got The Breakfast Club reference. I'm not even sure why I decided to reference it, but then it was written down, and actually seemed to work, so whatever.
