Without Hate - Chapter 9

Carly moved toward Alexis with a very measured gait. When she was no more than a few feet in front of her she finally spoke. "These things can be wrong, you know. I could run down to the drug store and buy a couple of different ones."

Alexis took the stick from Carly and looked at the plus sign which seemed to represent the cross she now had to bear. "Don't bother. I was pretty sure when I bought it. It's been two months. I guess I was kidding myself by hoping it was something else."

Alexis sank into the sofa. Curling herself into a ball, she began to cry softly. The last thing she wanted was to be pregnant; the absolute last thing. Moreover, she really didn't want to be pregnant by Jax; yet, he was one of her best friends and so she only had one choice. It would be criminal to deprive John and Lady Jane of their first grandchild; not to mention in her heart she knew Jax would be a wonderful dad. So, she would simply have to put her own wants and desires aside and make room for this new life.

"What do you want me to do?" Carly felt a panic rise up inside her.

Wiping the tears from her eyes, Alexis composed herself. "I'm fine Carly. I just needed a minute. I guess I better go call my doctor."

Carly watched as Alexis ascended the stairs. Nervously, she bit her nails. She was so preoccupied she didn't hear Jason and Sonny enter the Penthouse.

"Carly, Carly," Jason called until she turned around. "What are you doing with the door unlocked?"

"What? Oh, sorry." She wrinkled her nose, not realizing it was something Jason found extremely adorable. "Do you think you guys can come back later? Alexis and I are in the middle of something."

"You're not causing her any trouble? Are you, Carly?" Sonny's tone was a bit harsh.

"Sonny, can you wait until Carly actually does something before you yell at her?" While it was true Jason had fallen for a bit of a troublemaker; she was still the woman he loved.

He turned toward Carly, "What's going on?"

Before she could speak, an outwardly cheery Alexis came down the stairs. "Nothing's wrong. Carly is just being overly dramatic. I'm fine."

As Sonny moved toward her; he examined her with his eyes. "You sure you're okay? You looked flushed."

"I'm fine."

"You call a doctor?"

"On my list of things to do."

"If you don't want to go to the doctor, I can give my doctor a call. He still makes house calls; completely confidential."

"Really, I'm fine." Alexis rolled her eyes at the thought of a "mob doc" checking her out. "Now what can I do for you gentlemen?"

"We just stopped by to see if you ladies wanted to go to Kelly's with us for breakfast?" Sonny punctuated his sentence with a pair of dimples. For some reason this irritated Alexis more.

"Ooh. I'd love to, but I can't." She faked cheeriness. "I just called Jax and he's on his way over."

Despite several protests from Carly and her insistence that she should stay with Alexis, Carly left with Sonny and Jason.

Jax arrived fifteen minutes later. He was in complete white knight mode. Before Alexis could get two words out of her mouth, he told her that he learned Chloe was on her way to Europe. "Alexis, I couldn't tell her about us; not without talking to you first. I feel like I took advantage of you."

"You didn't." Alexis sighed and ran her hands over her face. "We were consenting adults who made a mistake that can wind up hurting a lot of people."

He grabbed her hands. "I will not let what happened wreck our friendship or yours with Chloe. I'm on my way to Paris now to find her and make things right; if not between Chloe and me, then between the two of you."

"Jax..." Alexis didn't know how to tell him, but she knew she had to. "I need to say something."

He touched her cheek. "Alexis, don't. I don't want to start calling what happened between us a mistake. And I don't want us to say anything that might cause us to hurt each other. We slept together the night before our divorce was finalized, which means our marriage was more than a game. As much as I hate that Ned and Chloe are going to be hurt when they find out; I'm happy to know a little of what we had was real."

Alexis nodded unable to speak. Jax kissed her on the forehead then went charging off to restore order to the universe. Only he couldn't know his efforts would be futile. She had a bombshell that would blow everyone involved out of the water. How could he know when she hadn't told him?

"You didn't tell him?" Carly asked later that evening. She raised an eyebrow. Her goody-two-shoes roommate would never cease to surprise her.

Alexis truly wanted to tell him, but she couldn't handle Jax's knight-in-shining armor routine or picking out baby names that started with "J;" not this early. "Do you think I'm horrible?"

"Nah. I got AJ drunk and threw him in a laundry hamper at the hospital when I found out I was pregnant."

Carly's honesty was enough to make Alexis smile. Her smile lasted only seconds before she became somber again. "Promise me you won't say anything; not even to Jason."

"I promise."

Carly did her best to keep the promise she made Alexis that Friday. However, when Sunday evening rolled around and Alexis hadn't left her room for two days, Carly began to be frightened. She took Michael and headed next door, interrupting Sonny and Jason in a game of cards.

Jason knew the second she walked through the door that she was scared. He was always relieved when she came to him instead of formulating a plan. "Carly, what's wrong?"

"It's Alexis. She's still in her room. She hasn't left since Friday."

Sonny felt a surge of anger power through his veins. "Is she really that sad about Candyboy leaving?"

"No, it's not that."

"Then what's wrong with her?" Sonny stared at Carly in an effort to intimidate her. She remained silent.

"Carly, do you know what's wrong with Alexis?" Jason helped her sit on the sofa beside him.

"I promised not to tell."

"Is she sick?" Sonny grew more concerned. He hadn't seen her since Friday, but after the abrupt ending to their Thursday night date; he'd figured he should give her some space.

Carly fidgeted. "Not technically. It's just, she's not eating and it's really important for her to eat something right now."

The wheels began to turn in Sonny's head. Alexis had been very tired during their last few meetings. And it seemed she'd been a little nauseous at times. Alexis was pregnant. Jax had probably encouraged her to tell Ned and she decided she'd rather spend the rest of her life behind a locked door then to contemplate co-parenting with Ned. "Hey, you two stay here. I'll make sure Alexis eats."

"When should I come back?" Carly wondered.

"Tomorrow."

Within the half hour, Sonny and his groceries were in Alexis's kitchen. But before he started dinner he fired up a decoy: a bag of microwave popcorn.

Alexis emerged in the kitchen a few minutes later while Sonny was chopping vegetables. Her pajamas were black silk, even though the temperature was nearly 75 degrees outside. Her hair was a bit unkempt. "Sonny, what are you doing here?"

"Carly was worried about you. She said you hadn't eaten in two days."

"She's being melodramatic. I've been busy." Alexis propped herself up in a chair next to the kitchen counter.

"Yeah, I can tell." As he eyed her, she felt a wave of embarrassment.

Alexis reached for the bag of microwave popcorn, which Sonny moved quickly out of the way.

"What are you doing?" Her voice was coarse.

"That's for later when we have our long talk. You'll ruin your dinner if you eat that stuff. You need to eat real food." He didn't look at her, but continued to move about the kitchen grabbing ingredients from the refrigerator. When he was near Alexis's grasp, she caught his arm.

"I need to eat? Long talk? Carly told you, didn't she?" Alexis felt the heat rise to her face.

"That you're pregnant? No, I figured it out based a couple of things. Carly's actually pretty loyal to you. I didn't know she could be loyal to anyone but Jason."

Alexis released her hold on his arm. "I don't want to talk."

"And I don't want you to talk right now. You and I don't have the best luck in the kitchen together. First, you shower, then we eat, then we talk."

Her eyes pleaded with him. "Can't you just let it go?"

"If it was me not eating or sleeping, would you?"

"Fine." Alexis slid off the stool and headed toward the shower. She returned wearing a sweatshirt and sweatpants. Her hair was pulled back in a loose ponytail. Sonny smiled, he had dated a lot of women since Brenda; yet, none of them endeared him the way she was able to do in sweats. When she sat at the table, Sonny placed a steaming hot bowl of paella in front of her.

"My mom used to make this for me. My great grandmother from Spain used to make it for her."

"What is it?"

"Paella de pollo."

"It's delicious." Alexis allowed the flavors to roll over her tongue. She eyed him suspiciously. How could a man who was that sexy cook so well? Danger might as well be stamped on his forehead in bright red letters. She thought it best to change the subject in her mind. "Your mom taught you to cook?"

"Mostly, I learned from Lois's mom. Paella was the only thing my mom knew how to make." He chuckled.

After dinner, he grabbed the popcorn and led her to the sofa. His hand patted the place beside him on the sofa. Curling her legs beneath her, she sat quickly. The scent of his cologne wafted past her nose. For a minute, she thought she could hear the sound of her own heart beating through her sweatshirt. The last thing she wanted right now was human contact with anyone. Next to last, was to talk about this predicament she now found herself in. She leaned back against the sofa, "You wanted to have a long talk; so talk."

"Okay," he cleared his throat. "I like you." He eyed the popcorn before he placed it in front of her. "Popcorn?"

"That's it? That's the long talk?" She sat up straight like an arrow.

"Yep." He placed his arm around her shoulder and pulled her gently back against the sofa. In the process, he moved her closer to himself. "What else do you want me to say?"

"You like me?" She rolled her eyes. "What the heck does that mean?"

His fingers skimmed her hair. "It means, I think you are beautiful and intelligent and funny. It also means I like being around you and I'd like to do that more."

"Even though I'm carrying another man's child?"

His voice was whisper-soft, "what?"

In a staccato fashion, she began to repeat herself, "I'm carrying..."

His finger hushed her lips. "That's the only part of the sentence I care about. You are carrying a baby inside you. Alexis, any new life is beautiful. I care about you and I want to do anything I can to make this easier for you; if that means me keeping my distance, that's fine. But if it means me holding your hand every step of the way, then nothing would make me happier."

"Are you sure you mean that?"

"Yeah."

"Even if I tell you it's Jax's child I'm carrying?"