Blood Lust
HAYLEE
I woke up at 7:00 the next morning and went to my bathroom and ran the hot water. I sighed in relief as it touched my hand and I pulled back and stripped. I stepped into the shower and the hot water made me feel so much better than before. I quickly washed my body and hair before conditioning it. I stood in the shower for a few minutes afterwards, then I finally stepped out and dried myself off. I got dressed in black skinny jeans and a white sweater with hoody-like pockets. I slid on my gray TOMS and walked into my room. I saw Josh asleep and I didn't want to disturb him at 7:15, so I went and brushed my hair.
I decided to leave it to dry on its own. I looked at my phone, seeing that after a few minutes of sitting around and doing nothing, it's 7:28. I walk over to Josh and wake him up. He stirs slowly then he sits up. I grab him and walk out of my room, down the hallway, and down the stairs. I walk to the kitchen and see Damien making breakfast. I sit down across from him and look around.
"It's not healthy for you to be around that human child all the time." Damien says.
"And why not?" I ask, defensively. If he's thinking of hurting Josh, then I'll have to intervene.
"Do you know about imprinting?"
"Wolves do it, right?"
"Vampires can, too. Sometimes, without knowing it. It takes a bite, one bite without you sucking his blood, and you're imprinted. Then taking some of his blood is a necessity. For both of you."
"I wouldn't take Josh's blood. I wouldn't hurt him."
"You say that now. You'll eventually hurt everyone."
"No, I will not."
"You're a vampire. It's your nature."
I nodded and got up, not bothering to put my chair back. I walked up the stairs, calmly. I was going to hurt people. It was bound to happen. Maybe not now, maybe not in the near future, but sometime, I would. It could be centuries from now- if I even made it that long- but I'd hurt someone. I walked into my room and sat on my bed. I stared at Josh's sleeping body.
I could hear his heart beating. I feel the warmth practically radiating off of him, he must have fever. I want to get near him but I know he has a cut somewhere, I smell the blood. It's sweet. I focus on his face to distract myself. He's sweating, his blond hair stuck to his face. My sense of smell absently switches back to focusing on his blood. I'd love to taste it. I would never have the heart to drain him, though.
Maybe imprinting him wouldn't be so bad. It wouldn't hurt him much, plus it would cure his sickness that he now has. It would help him. Plus I could take some of his blood. A little at a time, just a little. It wouldn't hurt. It wouldn't. Would it? My mouth had been watering, disgustingly. I rub his forehead lightly and his eyes open. He's burning up and his gray eyes are damp. I can't stand to see him in pain, he's my responsibility.
"Josh." I say, quietly.
He looks at me with questioning eyes. This would be good. Good for both of us.
"I could help you. But it might hurt."
"H-how bad?"
"It would just be a small bite. I promise."
He crawls into my lap and hugs me. For a moment, I feel like a pedophile. I look at him and I feel his sweat reaching past my sweater. I can't take it anymore. I lean down and bite him. He screams, loudly. I immediately remove my fangs. I know Damien left something out about imprinting. He knew I'd try it. Something feels right, though. I use my nails, which I'd grown out a little, and I cut my arm. I put my blood against his bloody neck, and rub it across his neck. Josh stops whimpering and actually seems relaxed.
He rests his head on my shoulder and I feel him calming to sleep. I feel something, it's hard to explain. It feels like I'm whole. It feels like I'm more alert to anything that happens to Josh. I don't just know that he's sleeping because I see him, I know because I feel him sleeping. I feel his body temperature going down more, and I know in my mind that he's O.K. I smile and squeeze his body against me. I'm not sure if it's because I'm glad he's O.K, or because of the imprint. Imprinting makes you fall in love. I've heard that much about it.
I was such a pedophile. I lay him back on the bed and go to my bathroom, getting a rag and putting it in cold water for a moment. I go back to Josh and clean the blood off of his neck. I then clean off my arm and run my hand through his hair. Someone knocks on the door and I jerk my head to it.
"Come in." I say, quietly.
Jamie enters my room. He shakes his shaggy black hair out of his face and smiles at me. I smile back. I don't know my feelings for Jamie. I suspect that I like him as more than a friend but I don't think we could ever date. We probably especially couldn't since I have an imprint on Josh, now. Jamie sits down on my bed, a little too close to Josh. I hold back a growl. I can trust Jamie.
He pets Josh's head and smiles. Jamie's smile snaps me out of everything. Why did I imprint on Josh? I'm an idiot.
"You did it, didn't you?" Jamie asks, quietly.
"What are you talking about?" I ask, just as quietly.
"I had a vision..." He begins, moving away from Josh and closer to me. "I had a vision that you imprinted Josh. You did it already, didn't you?"
Everything inside of me tells me to lie, because if I lie then we might have a chance one day. But, looking at him, I find it so hard to lie. I look down.
"Hey, it's O.K." Jamie says, and I hear the sympathy in his voice. He pulls me into a hug and holds me.
"I felt that I needed to. No one likes him, I need to know when he's endangered. I need to protect him, and this is the only way." I said quietly.
He still held me. His head rested on mine and he rubbed light circles around my back.
"I won't tell anyone." He says, quietly. I look up at him and smile.
"Why are you so nice to me?" I ask him, quietly.
"I like you. And I know that I can't compete with an imprint... no one can, but you couldn't be with Josh right now anyway..."
"I don't want to be with him. I did it for his health."
"Imprints have minds of their own."
"But you like me?"
He looks upward, avoiding me.
"Yeah, I do."
I lean up and place my lips to his. He catches on just as I'm about to pull away. He catches my chin and holds my face there and his tongue slides into my mouth. Our kiss deepens and I wrap my arms around him.
It feels so natural, so right.
He pulls away from me and I rest my head on his shoulder. He holds me quietly and the only sound in my room is the sound of Josh snoring.
February 20, 2012
Dear Diary,
I did something I regret today. At that moment, I didn't regret it. I knew I wanted it... but now... I regret it. I imprinted Josh today for his health but then I kissed Jamie. Jamie told me that the imprint would soon make me fall in love with Josh. I couldn't be with him, he's only 3. But I do like Jamie, he's older than me, he's sweet and nice. I do want to be with him.
He said he couldn't compete with an imprint, though. He said no one could. Is he right? Will I be head over heels in love with Josh by the time he's ten? Maybe sooner? Why can't I just be a normal vampire? Why are there so many kinks in this stupid after-life. We haven't worked on our powers today.
-Haylee
