A/N – I'm so glad people are liking this story, I'm having a lot of fun writing protective!Rachel. I have a lot of this story planned out and I'm hoping that if I can get my muse in gear I can get some more updates posted. I'm toying with having a little Christmas chapter in this fic, I haven't attempted one before but I want to try and do something with it here if I can get it written and ready in time!

Anyways on with chapter seven…

When Rachel awoke the next morning the first thing she was aware of was the empty space next to her and sitting up quickly she glanced around the room. Her eyes fell on the now empty bottle of water and half eaten packet of biscuits which at least gave her concrete evidence that the Latina had indeed been in her room. As she wiped a hand across her face she tried to ignore how tired she was, it was little wonder that Santana had been able to leave with such ease considering the diva could barely wake up.

The sound of a door opening drew Rachel's attention and she barely contained the shock on her face as Santana emerged from her en suite. Snapping her eyes up to meet the other girls nervous gaze Rachel let out a sigh of relief, "I thought you left."

"I thought about it." Santana replied honestly as she scurried back over to the bed all too aware of how little clothing she was wearing, "I woke up and I…I was going to leave but…"

"But?" Rachel whispered as she watched Santana slip back under the covers and sit against the headboard.

Santana frowned, biting her lip anxiously she stared down at her hands, "But I don't have anywhere else to go, or well….anywhere I want to go." She whispered sadly, her eyes lifting from her hands as she looked at her friend, "You're pretty much all I have right now, you're the only person who wants to be around me though I honestly don't get why. And, I-I want to…try, I…fuck why am I so bad at this?"

Rachel reached out to place one of her hands over Santana's as they twisted nervously, "You're doing okay."

"I-I…want us to be friends." Santana stuttered eventually, cringing at how lame it sounded, "I mean, if…you want to be?"

"Of course I do." Rachel beamed trying to keep her reaction as calm as possible, she didn't want to scare the other girl away.

Santana seemed to visibly relax and with a small nod she smiled, "I'm going to try but…I'm not exactly an easy person to get along with."

"Neither am I." Rachel replied with her own smile, both girls letting out a small chuckle. It wasn't as though either of them had a particularly stunning record with friends and Rachel felt honoured that Santana was willing to let her in.

A few minutes ticked passed and Rachel found herself fidgeting as she debated her next question, last night had been a revelation on many levels but there was one thing she had been unable to shift from her mind since falling asleep the previous night. The only problem was that even though she was desperate to talk to Santana about it, she didn't want to push her friend to far and end up chasing her away.

"Say it." Santana mumbled, her shoulders tense as she stared across the room, "It's what friends do right, talk to each other about…everything?"

Rachel bit her lip as she turned her body so she was facing Santana, crossing her legs she took a deep breath, it seemed like the other girl knew what was coming anyway, "The scars I saw last night, are they what I think they are?"

Santana stared blankly as she dipped her head, she could feel herself panicking and a familiar voice telling her to run away was echoing around her brain. She had to remind herself that Rachel already knew more about her than most people and that she had literally just agreed to try and build a friendship with the other girl but still she found herself lost for words. She knew that Rachel wouldn't push though and as a few moments ticked passed she felt the panic begin to ease slightly and in a quiet voice she choked out, "The Cheerio uniform doesn't leave a lot to the imagination, that was the only place I knew I could do it and no-one would ask questions."

"Why?"

The simplicity and the complexity of the question hit Santana hard and she had to fight to hold back her tears as she shook her head, "I don't know it just helps, I can't explain it."

Rachel felt her heart sink as she echoed, "It helps? As in…you're still doing it?"

Santana let her body sag back against the headboard as she turned her head to look away from the small girl next to her, she couldn't bear to see the repulsion she knew would be written on her friends' face as she mumbled, "Yeah, sometimes." She jumped as she was caught off guard by the diva wrapping her arms around her tightly.

When Rachel pulled back she made no attempt to hide the tears falling down her cheeks, the idea that anyone would hurt themselves the way Santana had made her heart ache, she didn't want to ask but she had to, "When was the last time?"

Santana was silent for a moment before she slipped out from under the covers, her movements were hesitant and as she sat back down on top of the covers this time she could feel her hands shaking. Leaning back against the headboard she let her eyes drift down to her hip, she normally avoiding looking at the marks if she could and as she dragged her fingertips across the lines she could feel Rachel's eyes burning into her skin as she watched. As her fingers stopped just above the waistband of her underwear she paused before carefully edging the material down a little bit to reveal a particularly nasty looking mark. It wasn't completely healed and Santana winced as she pressed down, "About a week ago."

"Why?" the singer asked, her eyes glued to the other girl's skin.

"I already didn't want to come back, I never do." Santana replied as she covered herself up, "But when I…I called my Mom to tell her when my flight was supposed to land so she could pick me up from the airport – she told me to get a taxi. She always picked me up, always. It was like the only thing she still did for me and then, she was just done. I know it sounds stupid but it was all I had and knowing she wasn't going to be there when I came home…"

"It doesn't sound stupid." Rachel murmured, offering a comforting smile, "If it matters to you, it's never going to be stupid."

"When I got off the phone my abuela knew something was wrong but I ran upstairs before she could say anything, there wasn't really anything she could say you know? I locked myself in the bathroom and…" Santana trailed off, she had never said it out loud before and her voice shook as she flinched.

Rachel felt her throat tighten as she choked out, "I'm sorry."

Snapping her head up to stare incredulously at her friend Santana replied, "Why are you apologising?"

"Because I let you down, the whole club let you down, we're supposed to be there for each other and we didn't even notice how much you were struggling." The diva rushed, her words spilling from her lips with regret as she wondered how she, and the rest of the club, could have seen Santana for so long but never really noticed her.

Santana raked a hand through her hair as she tried to organise her thoughts. On one hand it was true, she had desperately wanted someone to realise how miserable, how lonely, she was but at the same time she had kept up her well-worn defences to keep everyone out. She had been so terrified of letting someone in and getting hurt again, "I didn't want to let anyone to see."

"But you needed us to." Rachel half-shouted.

Santana turned her head to gaze at her friend as she admitted, "I thought maybe this year if I-if I tried harder, if I didn't let how angry I am at everything get to me so much then things could be different, people wouldn't hate me so much if I could pretend I was okay and not get mad and bitch them out."

Rachel frowned as she reached out to trail her fingers through the other girls hair, tucking the dark locks back she felt her heart break at the vulnerable look on the normally stoic girls face, "You shouldn't have to pretend at all Santana. You said it yourself; you've spent most of your life trying to please your parents by being someone you aren't. You shouldn't have to hide your feelings from everyone to get them to like you."

"Maybe in a perfect world." Santana said, her voice quiet as she looked down, "But come on, who wants to deal with me?"

"Well…I do." Rachel answered sincerely, "Or what I mean is, I can take the good and the bad because that's what friends do. I think maybe, if you gave the rest of the club a chance they could be pretty good friends to you too."

Santana stiffened at the words, she tried to remain blasé but she knew the singer had noticed her discomfort. The fact was everything she had overheard the other night had hurt more than she was willing to admit because whilst she knew she had a bad reputation and that she wasn't well-liked, she never thought she would overhear the glee club ripping her apart, "Yeah well, you didn't hear them the other night."

"I heard some of it…" Rachel tried as she nervously gnawed her bottom lip with her teeth.

"You missed most of it." Santana bit back, her eyes watering as remembered the sound of their laughter ricocheting around the room, "I'm not going to open up to people who obviously hate me so can you just drop it?"

Rachel opened her mouth to argue but thought better of it. She knew Santana was hurt and that there was nothing she could say right now to defend the glee clubs actions and the truth was she wasn't even sure if she wanted to, "Okay. How about we get some breakfast instead?"

Santana nodded, she would happily do anything right now to avoid talking about what she had listened to the other night. So she found herself pulling on a spare pair of Rachel's sweats and following the smaller girl downstairs in search of food. It was only when her feet hit the bottom step that Santana remembered about Rachel's Dads. It wasn't as if she could simply run back upstairs and hide though, so she forced herself to trail behind Rachel as they made their way into the kitchen.

As she helped Rachel throw together a quick fruit salad Santana couldn't help but keep an ear out for any movement, she didn't want to get caught off guard by the two men. Her distraction didn't go unnoticed by the diva and when Santana began slicing an unpeeled banana the singer reached out a comforting hand to take the knife, "Maybe you could grab some spoons instead?"

Santana offered a sheepish grin as she wiped her hands on a towel, "Right, sure…"

"And relax okay? My Dads will be fine; I'm not going to let anything bad happen to you."

Santana paused, two spoons clutched in her hand as she gave the diva a hopeful look. She was so used to being the one who had to take care of everything that it had been a long time since anyone had been in anyway protective towards her and it made her smile. Taking one of the bowls from Rachel the two girls sat side-by-side at the table to eat. They chatted amicably about nothing in particular as they ate their breakfast, Rachel had noticed the less than stellar weather and was just suggesting a trip to the mall when Leroy walked in followed closely by Hiram. Santana instantly felt her defences shoot up, her heart pounding in her chest as she watched the two men take a seat opposite her and Rachel. She felt her appetite slip away and with a quiet clank she let her spoon drop back into the bowl. She found herself unable to look up from the table and instead mumbled, "I…I can go, if you want."

"No." Hiram said quickly, beating the argument he knew Rachel was formulating, "We don't want you to go. We wanted to talk to you actually, both of you, about the other night and what I said."

"It's fine." Santana replied gruffly, "You were just saying what most people think."

"What I said was unfair." Hiram said his eyes focused solely on Santana.

The taller girl let out a bitter laugh as she finally looked up, "No it wasn't, if I was in your position I'd hate me too. I can only imagine the things you've heard about me and they're probably all true so…"

Hiram shifted uncomfortably as he snuck a glance at his husband, he could see Leroy was just as baffled by Santana's reaction was he was. He had expect Santana to be angry, or defensive, he expected her to be hurt and bitter but the young girl seemed only too willing to accept the inevitability of someone, even a parent, thinking of her as a bad person.

"We don't hate you Santana-" Hiram tried.

"You should." Santana stated, "Did you know I was the first person to toss a slushy at Rachel?"

Rachel frowned as she listened to her friend purposefully antagonising her Dads, she knew exactly what the other girl was doing and it pained her to watch. She figured that part of Santana wanted the Berry men to hate her; she wanted other parents to see her as a bad person to justify her own parent's behaviour.

"I remember that day." Rachel said quietly, her interruption stopping her fathers from granting Santana's silent wish, "You threw a strawberry slushy over me in the hall. I hate strawberry."

"I know." Santana replied.

Rachel turned her head to look at her friend; she knew there had to be more to the story than the usual drink throwing rivalries, "What happened before you did it?"

Santana snapped her eyes away from the table, her heart thudding in her chest she barely managed to stutter, "What-what do you mean?"

The singer knew she was on to something and with an encouraging smile she ignored her Dads confused stares and kept her focus on Santana, "What happened that day that made you slushy me?"

"I don't know you were wearing some ugly freaking sweater." Santana snapped, "What does it matter anyway?"

"San…." Rachel sighed, she had expected the standard defensive response from the other girl but she knew if she was patient enough she would get the answer she was looking for.

Santana shifted uncomfortably, her resolve fading fast under Rachel's gaze she could only sigh as she raked a hand through her hair and mumbled, "It was- I was having a bad day."

Rachel bit her lip as she silently thanked her Dads for keeping quiet; she figured they were equal parts confused and angry so she quickly pressed on in the hope that Santana's answer would give her fathers a little insight into her life, "What happened?"

Santana felt her shoulder slump, her anger from earlier had faded faster than normal and now she was left with a familiar ache in her chest, "It was my birthday. I was looking forward to it for weeks, I thought when you turned thirteen it was this huge thing y'know? Brittany's Mom threw her a huge party and Quinn's Dad got her the puppy she'd been asking for since she could talk. I figured-I figured my parents would do something but they didn't do anything, and I don't mean like, I got a card and a shitty present. They didn't even remember."

Santana squeezed her eyes closed as she bowed her head, "I woke up that morning and I ran downstairs thinking that this year they'd have to do something because I was thirteen, Britt's Mom said it was a big deal seeing her little girl become a teenager. I got downstairs and…nothing. My Dad didn't even look at me before he left for work and my Mom just told me to hurry up because I was going to be late for school."

"When I got to school everyone kept asking me what kind of party I was having, they'd been asking all week but I told them my parents were keeping it a surprise. I had to fucking lie to everyone and make up some bullshit story about them taking me away for the weekend so I wouldn't have time to throw a big party. It was humiliating." Santana paused, her throat tightening as she remembered what had happened next, "I was getting a drink when I heard you."

Rachel frowned; she tried to remember what she had been doing before the ice cold drink had been thrown but most of her memories were based around the horrible aftermath.

"You were by your locker and you were talking to some girl and…fuck, you were going on and on about how your Dads had taken you to New York to see some Broadway thing." Santana growled, her nails digging into her palms as she tried to control her anger, "You wouldn't shut up about how they had taken you to this amazing restaurant and you stayed in this amazing hotel so you could go to this amazing show and it made me so angry. It was just a normal weekend for you and your Dads took you to do something they knew you loved, it was my fucking birthday and my parents could barely even look at me. I hated it, I hated them and I just…I didn't even know I'd done it until you started crying…"

Rachel blinked hard in an attempt to stop her own eyes watering; she couldn't imagine how much it must have hurt for Santana to have her own parents forget her birthday.

"It was such a shitty thing to do…"

Rachel sighed, she wasn't about to lie and say that getting slushied on a regular basis was anything other than awful but a part of her knew that the girl next to her hadn't exactly done it out of sheer spite, "You were just a kid San and you were hurt-"

"That doesn't excuse what I did, it's not your fault your family is perfect and mine is complete shit." Santana snapped, her own guilt bubbling away inside her and making her feel sick, "You wanna know the worst part?"

The singer bit her lip; she could feel her Dads both watching their exchange closely, "What?"

"I enjoyed it." Santana stated her eyes dull as she explained, "Because afterwards the school called my parents and my Mom had to come to school to talk to the principal. She actually had to have a conversation about me, she noticed me. I know how pathetic it sounds but it was something."

"So you kept doing it?" Hiram interjected, his voice conflicted as he tried to piece together what he was seeing and hearing now with what he had previously known about the young girl.

Santana shrugged, "For a bit yeah…"

"You haven't done that to me in forever." Rachel said, her brain whirling into action as she added, "In fact, you only ever slushied me for a couple of weeks after that day."

Santana replied sadly, "I went to the principal's office one day and he told me that my Mom couldn't be there. I knew she'd lost interest…after that, no matter what I did or what the school called her about she never came back. I got a letter sent home that no one read or a message on the answer machine that no one played."

"The slushy's stopped." Leroy confirmed, "But you were still…"

"A bully." Santana offered, her hands twisting together on the table as she dropped her gaze unable to look at her friend, "Every time I saw Rachel all I could think was that at the end of the day she was going to go back to you guys, and I had to go back to my house." Risking a glance at Rachel the taller girl frowned, "I hated it, I hated that you got to have a family and I didn't. I took it out on you."

"It's okay San." Rachel tried as she reached out one of her hands to clasp her friends.

"No, it isn't." the other girl insisted, "Is it any wonder that people don't want to be around me when I do the shit I do? There's a reason that Brittany is the only person who's ever wanted to be near me; she's too sweet and innocent to know any better."

"I want to be around you." Rachel whispered, her grip tightening on the other girl as she tried to make her understand, "I'm not saying that your family being the way they are suddenly means we can forget everything but you were hurt and you were angry, you shouldn't have had to deal with everything by yourself."

Santana sighed, she could feel the tears trickling down her face but she made no attempt to wipe them away as she whispered, "I'm really sorry Rachel."

"I know." The diva replied, dipping her head to lock eyes with the other girl, "I forgive you."

Santana let out a disbelieving laugh, she wanted to tell Rachel that she didn't deserve her forgiveness but she managed to hold on to her doubts. She figured that even if Rachel could forgive her she wasn't about to forgive herself as easily. It struck Santana hard when she realised that the person she had tormented the most had turned out to be one of the only people she could rely on.

Clearing his throat Leroy broke the moment as gently as he could, he was still unsure about what was going on but he trusted his daughter enough to follow her lead, "I don't know everything that has happened between you two, and I probably never will, I also don't know much about you in general Santana. I know that you have hurt my daughter's feelings in the past and I've heard stories, and rumours, about you which lead me to believe that you have a…difficult past. But I also know that my daughter is an excellent judge of character, if she is willing to forgive you and move on then I am as well."

"We are sorry for what happened the other night Santana." Hiram continued, his eyes focused on the young girl, "I hope you can accept our apology as well."

Santana sniffed back her tears enough to shoot the two men a grateful smile, she knew it wasn't easy for either of the men to deal with the girl who had tormented their daughter, "Yeah sure and…I appreciate you letting me stay here last night and don't worry, it won't happen again."

Hiram frowned as he shot his daughter a confused look, he didn't understand how from his perspective it seemed like things were getting sorted out but then it seemed like Santana was basically promising to keep her distance. He couldn't work out what was going on in the young girls head.

Santana took the momentary silence as a bad sign, she was glad they had all managed to deal with her and Rachel's history but it seemed pretty clear that now it was dealt with she needed to go, "So erm…thanks, for breakfast and everything. I should go or…whatever…"

"What? Where?" Rachel asked, her hand still gripping onto her friends as she made to stand.

Santana tried to appear casual; she didn't want the Berry men to know she had nowhere to go. "I figured that…"

Leroy instantly picked up on Rachel's panic and with his own worried look he gestured for the cheerleader to stay seated, "You don't have to go Santana."

"Where are you living at the moment?" Hiram asked carefully, he didn't want to over step any boundaries but he couldn't shake the nagging worry at the back of his mind. It had been plaguing him since the night he had uttered those words.

"In Lima Heights adjacent with my parents." Santana mumbled, it was a half-truth and she saw Rachel frown at her response.

Hiram bit his lip, leaning forward in his chair he tried to get the young girl to look at him, "Brittany mentioned that you…there are nights when you might sleep in your car."

Santana contemplated denying it but then she remembered the diva sat next to her and she knew that Rachel wouldn't hesitate to correct her, with a shrug she mumbled, "Yeah, sometimes."

Hiram nodded to himself before turning to Leroy, he was more than glad that he didn't have to say anything to his husband – he could see his own concern reflected back, taking a deep breath he asked, "Do your parents know?"

"They don't care." Santana scoffed, the sadness in her eyes betraying her uncaring façade.

Leroy grimaced, "I'm sure that's not true…"

"I'm in high school I had a huge argument with my Mom last night and I didn't go home. It's now almost…" Santana checked her watch with a sigh, "Eleven-thirty, I've been out all night and neither of my parents has called or text to see where I am. I think it's fair to say I'm not high on their list of priorities."

Leroy shook his head sadly, he couldn't imagine treating Rachel like that and the more he heard about the Lopez's the less he liked. One question was niggling him more than any other though, "How often do you sleep at home?"

"I used to stay with Britts but we…we don't exactly spend much time together anymore. But it's cool, my car is pretty comfortable."

Rachel felt her stomach churn at the cryptic answer, "How often are you at home San?"

"Two, three times a week." Santana muttered, sinking down in her chair as the family gaped at her.

Hiram felt his eyes widen and he couldn't hide his horror, "You can't be serious…"

"It's my decision, I mean it's not like they've kicked me out or anything. I choose to sleep in my car, my Dad gives me some money every month for clothes or whatever and sometimes I can afford to rent a room somewhere." Santana said, not exactly sure why she was defending her lifestyle, "I buy whatever I need and I save the rest for college or so I can buy somewhere to live when my parents do eventually kick me out. It's my decision to sleep in my car, okay?"

Leroy was almost lost words as he listened to the young girl, "That's not a decision Santana; you shouldn't be in this situation in the first place."

"I choose not to be at home because I don't want to be there." Santana tried.

"But you shouldn't be sleeping in your car, it's not right." Hiram interjected, "You should want to be in your own home."

Santana felt her heart tighten at the words, there was nothing she wanted more than to have a real home, gritting her teeth she snapped back, "I know that, but I can't so…drop it alright?"

Hiram folded his arms as he leant back in his chair, a thoughtful expression on his face he shot his husband and daughter a questioning look. Leroy nodded and Rachel all but bounced up and down in her seat at the silent question, "We have a spare room, it's currently full of god knows what and could definitely use a clear-out…"

"O-kay…" Santana drawled.

Leroy smiled, his hands clasped together on the table in front of him he rolled his eyes at his husband, "What Hiram is trying to say is that perhaps on nights when you feeling unable to stay at home rather than sleeping in your car you might consider our offer to stay in our guest room."

Santana couldn't help the look of disbelief that washed across her normally reserved features, "Are you serious? You can't be serious."

"We are." Hiram confirmed, "You and Rachel will have to clear it out of course-"

"Of course!" Rachel beamed as she clapped her hands together excitedly, she figured her friend would be a little hesitant though so with her best pleading face she turned to Santana, "What do you say?"

"I don't know…" the cheerleader murmured, on one hand she loved the idea of having a place to stay but the pessimist in her was winning over the rest of her feelings, "I appreciate the offer but I don't think it's a good idea."

"You wouldn't be intruding if that's what you're worried about, we're inviting you." Leroy stated firmly.

Rachel could see the negative thoughts clouding Santana's judgement, "Please San, for me? I can't bear to think of you out there by yourself. You should be somewhere safe and warm…I promise not to make you watch any musicals…"

Santana couldn't help but smile at the optimistic look but she just couldn't see herself being comfortable enough to actually stay with the Berry's, it was all too surreal. She would rather spend the money on a room somewhere than under a roof with two men she knew didn't like her. She figured Rachel's Dad probably felt obliged to offer, after all it would reflect pretty badly on them if it got around that they knew she wasn't sleeping at home and didn't offer her their spare room. Still, she couldn't bring to spend the next few hours arguing about it, so instead she bit her lip and forcing a smile she replied, "Okay."

"Okay?" Rachel grinned.

"Yeah, okay." Santana repeated with a tight smile, "Thanks, I promise I'll try and stay out of the way."

Leroy and Hiram chuckled at the shocked look on Santana's face as Rachel swatted her arm, "What? No. You can't stay up there you'll miss out on movie night and game night, oh I can make you some of famous vegan hot chocolate…"

Santana felt her eyes bulge as she listen to Rachel begin to list all the fun activities in the Berry household, she grimaced as she felt a familiar wave of jealously seeping through her at hearing about all the things the family did together. That was one more reason she knew she couldn't stay, having to watch Rachel and her Dads playing happy families was more than she could take but she figured even though she had agreed to consider staying occasionally it didn't mean she actually had to.

"…we have so much to do. The guest room is a mess but I think if we get a start on it today…"

Santana nodded as she watched Rachel in bemusement, she had actually forgotten how much the small girl could talk when you just let her go. She was so caught up in her thoughts that she missed Rachel's entire speech and only snapped back to reality when a slim hand grabbed one of hers and hoisted her up from her seat, "Woah, what's happening? And when did you get so crazily strong?"

"I have a daily exercise routine." The singer stated, "And we are going to the mall as planned, however I feel we will need to stock up on some bin bags and cleaning supplies if we want to tackle the guest room today."

"Alright…" Santana replied as she let Rachel tug her towards the door, she hated the guilty feeling she had knowing that whatever they were going to end up doing was probably going to be a waste of time anyway.

Hiram chuckled as he let the girls swoop past him, giving his husband a gentle nudge he whispered, "She has no idea what she's let herself in for…"

"I heard that!" Rachel shouted from the front door as she pulled on her jacket.

Leroy grinned at his husband, "You need to work on your indoor voice."