Love, Aerith
Chapter 6: Hollow
In your hand, that's where my heart will always be.
"Zack…" Aerith whispered while she silently let the warm tears fall slowly down her cheeks. His forehead pressed against hers, softly brushing her skin. She was drawn in by his warmth and the intoxicating smell of his skin. She had longed for him for so long she had almost forgotten how it felt to be close to him. In that moment she was being overwhelmed all at once by every sensation he had left with her four years ago. His fingers carefully stroked her cheek and a shiver went through her spine when she felt his tender touch. His lips threatened to brush hers as he leaned closer. But suddenly remembering where she was and coming back to reality, Aerith hands lifted to rest on his chest. She couldn't kiss him, she realized, as much as she wanted to. It wouldn't be fair. Not to her, not to Cloud… She slowly but firmly pushed him inches away.
With Ocean-blue orbs glazed over, he stared back at her in confusion. His lips were slightly parted, taken aback by her reaction. Something had to be wrong.
"You have been gone for too long…" Aerith looked down closing her eyes. What was she doing? She couldn't bear looking at him; she didn't want to see the look in his face when she was in front of him breaking his heart. Her chest ached inside and she let out a desperate sob. It seemed like air was lacking for her to breathe in.
"What… do you mean?" Zack's voice was cautious, doubtful. Aerith bit her lower lip still not looking up. Her silence, her tears, her eyes avoiding looking at his and the way she pushed him away were starting to be clear to him. "You didn't wait for me." He stated. His heart tightened inside of his chest and it was having a hard time beating. He took two steps away from her with all kinds of thoughts running through his mind but he couldn't blame her.
At first he couldn't stand looking at her because blood boiled with fury inside his veins but he tried calming himself down before he exploded. How could he point a finger at her if he was the one staying away for so long? Almost like abandoning her. But he knew that hadn't been the case. He also knew what he had, or more like what he had had once. Aerith was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen with a stunning personality to match. She was everything a man could want. He shook his head, his eyes started to water so he had to look up towards the sky to restrain the tears from falling. He ran a hand through his glossy-black hair and kept his hand behind his neck rubbing it.
"I guess I was asking for it." Zack exhaled, turning away from the young woman sobbing. She grabbed her arm with her hand trying to hold herself together because she was feeling like she was going to break into pieces any minute now.
"I waited. I did." Aerith tried speaking but she felt terrible, she wasn't trying to make an excuse, she should have been there waiting for him to come. If she had just waited a little while longer things would have been different. It was all her fault Zack was hurt and now her feelings weren't the same, but seeing him there had definitely awakened something in her.
"I almost died…" Zack spoke, turning his back at her. "I was in coma for two years. Some people of a small town found me when I was hurt and took care of me and when I was strong enough to return, I left. All this time I wanted to come back to you. I kept seeing your face when my eyes were closed. You were guiding me back to life… like an angel"
"I prayed for you everyday." Aerith hiccupped from crying. She took one clumsy step towards him, her knees felt weak supporting her body when she walked, her hand lifted to touch his arm, she wanted to turn him around so she could see him. "I'm sorry Zack…"
"I believe you Aerith…" Zack's voice cracked and he grabbed her hand with his and pulled her body against his chest, holding her small figure between his arms; he rested his chin on top of her head smelling the warm soft flowery scent emanating from her hair. He had missed her… so bad. "I will believe anything you say…" Because I still love you. Always will. He didn't say it aloud.
How could he say it when she belonged to someone else now?
He felt her warm tears soaking his dark uniform shirt on the chest. Yes, he believed every word she said, because he knew she was incapable of lying. And if she was now with someone else, it was because he had left her alone. Sure he had expected her to be waiting for him to return but now he realized it wouldn't have been fair. She had no idea where he was the way he knew she would be there.
"Come on now…" He parted the embrace placing his hands on her shoulders, trying to calm her down when he should be the one calming himself down. He gave her a warm smile or at least tried to so he could show her he was fine, even though he wasn't. He understood she was feeling as bad as him if not worse so he gave her a little kiss on the forehead closing his eyes as he did. Aerith sobs started to fade as she stared into his blue reassuring eyes. "I'll take you home."
As they walked silently side by side, Zack thought about who could have possibly taken his place in her heart. He was in shock and broken-hearted like the world had been suddenly taken from under his feet but he wasn't mad at Aerith, he could never be mad at her but the guy who had stolen her from him… that was different. He wondered what he would do when he met him, because… oh he wanted to meet him! He had to know who this guy was and if he was better than Zack. Maybe beat the crap out of him for stealing his Aerith from him. But then he wondered that he couldn't do that to Aerith. He knew she wouldn't forgive him for that, but still…
I need to get a boxing bag… Zack mused; he needed to expel some of the resentment he was feeling inside him. Anything to make him feel better.
They were almost at her house when someone emerged from her house's little garden, closing it. Blond spiky hair, angelic delicate features, big blue sparkling eyes and a mercenary uniform. Cloud froze on his feet as he watched them stop their pace and look at him. He wasn't planning on meeting them there; he had been hoping he was fast enough to leave without being seen. But he had been too late.
"Cloud?" Zack slightly laughed watching his friend standing there bewildered. He had missed his friend but he was confused seeing him there, leaving Aerith's house. "What are you doing here?" He asked. Cloud looked down blankly and speechless. Aerith widened her eyes and gasped. Realization hit Zack like a stab on his back. He didn't have to be a genius to understand what was going on. He looked from one another, Cloud kept avoiding his gaze and Aerith looked sadly at Cloud as more tears came falling down her eyes in a fast stream down her cheeks and onto the floor. Her heart was speeding when she looked at the blond.
"I can't believe this." Zack's voice was grim. He shook his head as if he was trying to wake up from a very sadistic dream. "You're the one who stole Aerith from me. This is great." Zack laughed but his voice came out as a desperate shriek, tears threatened to fall again, tears of rage. "My bestfriend and the woman I love. Are you kidding me?" Zack yelled not controlling the monster starting to form from deep within his guts.
"I didn't know who Aerith was when I met her…" Cloud tried to explain. His eyes didn't lift to look at him. "And when I did it was too late."
"You shut up!" Zack pointed a finger at the blond soldier. His hands curled up into two shaking fists then. "I spent two years of my life trying not to die and another two recovering so I could come back and I find this. It's as if I had never existed! I might as well have died while I could! Why bother to come back?" Zack stopped talking to breathe heavily in and steady his voice, he wasn't going to cry. "I thought you were my friend Cloud. Friends don't take each others girlfriends!"
"I thought you were dead, Zack. I'm sorry I—"
"I told you to shut up didn't I?" Zack shouted. "I don't want to hear anything you want to say to me! And don't say you're sorry! When you found out who she was it was too late huh? Why was it too late Cloud? You had already stolen her? She was already yours? When you did find out and what breaks my heart Cloud is that you didn't do anything! Oh hey you were Zack's girlfriend! Screw him though right?"
"Believe what you want. It wasn't like that." Even though Cloud understood the way his friend was feeling he couldn't help starting to get a bit of annoyed at the way he was shouting to him and distorting the truth. The blond mercenary would never betray his friend like that. He had never meant it to turn out that way but people simply can't choose who they fall in love with. He wanted to tell that to Zack… but he knew he wouldn't listen.
Cloud's aquamarine eyes finally met the turquoise ones of the black-haired ex-soldier and something ignited within Zack when he saw his face. He didn't see his friend anymore, the Cloud Strife he knew couldn't possibly have done something like that. He felt a hidden rush of pure hatred towards his once partner. Zack gritted his teeth strongly so he could control what was already threatening to burst out but it was no use. With all his mako enhanced strength he lifted one fist in Cloud's direction. He knew he promised himself not to do any stupid thing in front of Aerith but that was just too much. His knuckles hit the smooth surface of Cloud's skin in a perfect centred punch.
Cloud felt the salty and rusty taste of blood forming instantly in his mouth and when he looked back up Zack was already preparing to hit him again but this time Cloud dodged his hand by bending his head slightly backwards. Clouds hand stopped Zack's second attempt on hitting him but the black-haired man wasn't finished yet.
Watching the scene in horror Aerith begged them to stop though the two soldiers weren't listening to her screaming. She tried to stand in the middle of the pulsating raged men and placed one hand on each of their chest trying to pull them free, but of course none of the two moved as strongly as she tried to break them. How could her delicate body be any stronger than their muscled ones?
That's when Zack's elbow pulled back to advance on a new spree of hitting and it went straight into Aerith's cheek with a brute strength. Her head turned violently to the side with the impact. Dizzy with the sudden force she went a couple of steps back and lost her balance falling down on the ground on her back. She sat there, hand covering her hurt cheek, eyes wide open and full of water, mouth slightly opened as she looked in shock at the two men who stopped fighting to gasp when they saw Aerith had been hurt.
"Look at what you've done!" Cloud shouted at the black-haired man. "Are you happy now?" Zack was staring petrified at the girl on the floor who stared back at him terrified. Zack knew he would never forget the look on her face that moment. She looked like she was afraid of him. Those two emerald forests of green were full of sadness and awe staring back at him.
"I'm sorry." Zack's voice broke. He bent down to help her up, but Cloud stood in the way and pushed him back with his hands.
"Get away from her." The blond man said and placing his strong hands under her shoulders he helped the astonished girl up on her feet, his flower girl was broken again and he had to fix her.
"Please forgive me Aerith…" Zack begged as Aerith rested her head on Cloud's shoulder when he held her between his arms to take her back into the house. She didn't turn to look at him, she didn't say anything, she simply walked away from Zack in the arms of another man. Her eyes sore from crying, her cheek bruised, her heart shattered.
Zack breathed heavily in despair; his chest was hurting and panicking. He covered his face in his hands and crouched on his legs to hold a scream from escaping through his throat. He lifted up again, cleaned the tears out of his eyes and left, not knowing exactly where to go.
Cloud sat Aerith down on the kitchen chair. She looked blankly into space, the picture of Zack hurting her running through her mind over and over again like a cd player on repeat. She knew he didn't mean to hurt her, if he did he would have already had in the church plus, it was Zack, he would never do that to her but still… she just couldn't believe what had just happened.
"It's my entire fault." She said motionless after a while, just a blank stare spread across her face.
"No Aerith… It's not." Cloud placed a bag of ice covered with a kitchen cloth under his eye and another one on her cheek to ease her pain and sat on the chair next to her, keeping his hand holding the bag of ice for her.
Aerith eyes flickered to his.
"I'm sorry Cloud." She said. "You didn't deserve any of that."
"Don't worry about me. How could we have known Aerith?" He said solemnly. "When I watched him… die?"
"You were there?" She asked. Cloud nodded once and Aerith looked down thoughtfully.
"I understand if you want me to leave. I will understand your choice." Cloud finally spoke. He didn't want to understand it, he didn't want to let go of her, but he couldn't be selfish and if she still liked Zack he couldn't be in the way. He didn't care what happened to him as long as she was happy.
Aerith's green eyes popped open to stare at him in disbelief. She slowly pushed his arm down taking his hand and bag of ice away from her cheek. Cupping his face carefully not to hurt him between her hands she pulled him closer to her until their lips met. She kissed him eagerly ignoring the pain she felt throbbing on her face. She didn't want to let him go, she didn't want to lose him. All she wanted was for Cloud to kiss her.
"Don't say that…" She whispered as she rested her forehead against his. His hand stroked her good cheek softly with his fingers and closed his eyes feeling her warm breath on his face. She got up to sit back on his lap, her lips not leaving his and her fingers running freely through his blond spiky hair. He knew what had sparked that attitude on her. Zack was back and as much as he tried to ignore it he couldn't help feeling that she had been reminded of what they had had before him. He could be wrong but he had the feeling she wanted to forget and the best way to do that, was getting herself lost in Cloud. The Zack situation wasn't over yet. As they kissed, Cloud wondered if that was just the calm before the storm.
He had betrayed his friend and he wasn't proud of it. He owed so much to Zack, how could he be doing this to him? Kissing the woman he knew Zack still loved. It felt wrong. Even if she chose to be with him, Aerith could never be completely his.
"Your mother… is… home." Cloud said in between her kisses and gasps for air. She paused to look at him intently.
"You're right." She softly said and placed her arms tightly around him, feeling his tight embrace. She noticed, though, there was something strange on the way he was kissing her, maybe hesitation with a hint of coldness. "I should go rest… Would you take me to bed?" She stared at him inquisitively for a long moment before asking. He nodded and took her hand.
When he was sure Aerith was deeply asleep he carefully and slowly slid from her side and off the bed taking his arm from under her head where she had rested it.
Standing up next to her bed he looked quietly down at her face peacefully sleeping. He kneeled down on the floor and kissed her softly on her bruised cheek. Her skin had been tainted with a round red almost purple bruise.
"How could he have done this to you?" He whispered caressing her bangs away from her closed eyes. "I know it's your birthday tomorrow… which makes it harder for me to leave. But you need to figure out things in your heart first. Whichever choice you make, I'll always be waiting for you." He gave her a bittersweet smile while he whispered. "This is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I love you... Goodbye Aerith."
His lips pressed hers tenderly. He got up on his feet and left her bedroom.
What Cloud didn't hear though, was Aerith calling his name in her dreams.
Zack sat on a stool at some dark bar in Midgar, back arched and elbows resting on the counter. He circled the thick glass of whiskey in his hand making the ice softly clank against the glass.
"I stopped flirting with other women because of her." He mumbled to the barman on the other side of the counter who was cleaning the inside of a beer mug with a dry cloth. The barman wasn't exactly interested in Zack's life but the bar wasn't that much crowded and the young man looked like he really needed someone to talk to. "And do you know how hard that was for me?"
Zack looked up at the fat barman who noticed him looking at him and shrugged as if he had been listening.
"Yeah… It was that hard." Zack shook his head looking down again. It was the third glass of whiskey he drank and his vision was starting to get a little foggy. He felt light-headed and when he finished drinking the remaining liquid in his glass he slammed it hard on the wooden surface of the counter, grimaced and asked the barman for more. When the barman said that was the last whiskey he would pour his glass Zack nodded not sure he had heard him right. "And he was my bestfriend…" Zack turned serious now, remembering the times back at SOLDIER when he and Cloud laughed together at his jokes, went on missions together and looked after each other as brothers. "I tell you… that was a stab on the back I reaaaally wasn't expecting to get. And I've been stabbed a lot of times before!" Zack laughed not making sense of his words.
"This one really killed me though." Zack finished his drink all at once. "I'm as good as dead now. Aerith… how could you?"
Zack sat there alone with his ghosts, hoping he could disappear from that world because the place where his heart had once been was just a hollow space now.
Note: Ok, I feel so bad for Zack! I almost cried at the end of this chapter. I hope I didn't give a bad impression of him though. I hope you liked it and please tell me what you think. Hopefully things will turn out better for Zack next chapter. Also, this trio has a lot of talking to do. Talk about messed up love triangle… Thank you so much for the reviews everyone! And thank you for reading! Also, thank you chibipinkbunny for all the help you're giving me to be better! ^^
