Love, Aerith
Chapter 7: Distance
Wherever you go, don't forget me.
When Zack woke up the next day he took a couple of minutes to realize where he was sleeping. He was lying on a couch he was sure wasn't from his home, at least not that he remembered, and the light coming from the open window of the small living room burnt through his eyes as he started opening them. He lifted his head with his eyes straining to open before he looked around trying to locate himself. As he lifted his head a striking pain shot through it making him lay his head back down on the couch pillow. His stomach felt sick which combined with the headache made him feel nauseous.
Ok… Where am I? He asked himself confused. He tried to remember the events of the previous night but it would take an effort he knew would make his head explode. His memory was a little foggy. He took a deep breath and rested one hand on his forehead. Damn… What a hangover…
"Morning!" Someone cheerfully called from the living-room's entrance. Lifting his head carefully this time Zack saw the tall figure of a man leaning against the door's frame and chuckling at him. "Rough night huh?"
"Could you keep it down Kunsel?" Zack's head rested down again on the pillow. Things were beginning to clear in his head. He remembered knocking on his friend's house and asking for a place to crash for the night. What surprised him though was the fact that he managed to get there in the deplorable state he was in, and how on Gaia did he manage to ask Kunsel for a place to stay? Oh wait… Zack thought, I kind of didn't ask.
"Hey Kunsel!" Zack had a teasing smile on his face, cheeks slightly red, voice dragging as he appeared at his door knocking enthusiastically at 4 in the morning.
"Zack?" Kunsel blinked a couple of times staring at his long-gone friend. His sleepy half-lidded eyes popped out widely in disbelief as he looked at the SOLDIER.
"Surprise!" Zack laughed and walked inside of Kunsel's apartment.
"I must be dreaming." Kunsel continued. "I mean… there were some rumours but I think they just got into my head and now I'm dreaming about it."
"Hey yeah… Do you mind if I sleep here on your couch tonight, thanks."
"Humm yeah sure." But before Zack heard the answer he was already falling heavily on his stomach on the double-seat couch in Kunsel's living room. Zack's feet hung out of the couch while his arm fell along side until his hand touched the floor. He was fast asleep, lips slightly parted and dead drunk.
"It's good to see you too, Zack." Kunsel rolled his eyes at him. "Are you going to tell me what the heck happened to you?"
"It's a pretty long story." Zack slowly sat up while carefully supporting the back of his head with his hand.
"Ok. Today is my free day. We have time." Kunsel sat down next to him.
When Barret found his roommate in the morning, Cloud was sitting on the couch from their apartment, elbows on his knees, and head dropped down in resignation. Next to his foot laid a black travelling bag.
"Is… something wrong?" Barret blinked watching as the blond sat quietly with his chin almost touching his chest.
"I might be leaving for a while Barret." Cloud's voice was rough with sadness and when he looked up at his friend, Barret noticed that his eyes were blood-shot with purple bags hanging underneath. He hadn't slept the whole night. He had just been sitting there on that seat lost in his thoughts and figuring out if he should go on with his plan.
"Man you look like shit!" Barret exclaimed widening his eyes at the mercenary. "But what do you mean you're leaving?"
"I need to go away for a while. Maybe a month or so, a year, who knows." Cloud shrugged. It didn't matter where he went. He just needed to get away from Midgar.
"Where are you going?" Barret asked suspiciously.
"I don't know. Somewhere far. Maybe to my Hometown."
"That town in the country? What was its name, Nibelheim?"
"Yeah…"
"That's really far. Are you running away? Did you get into some kind of trouble? Cos' I know some people, you know what I mean? They can help you. Is it game? Did you steal from someone? Drugs? Don't tell me it's drugs! Though that could explain the look on your face…"
"No Barret." Cloud sighed in annoyance. "It's nothing like that."
Cloud himself wasn't sure why he was going away, giving up on everything. He knew one thing only though. Zack was back and he couldn't compete with him. And even if he wanted to, he couldn't betray his friend the way he had already did. He was a traitor in Zack's eyes and that was something he couldn't live with. He loved Aerith but he couldn't be with her. The thought of having to live without her made his stomach feel sick. As long as she was happy…
He looked thoughtfully at the train ticket next to his mobile phone on top of the coffee table. It was a one-way ticket out of that city.
Suddenly his mobile phone started ringing and vibrating on the table's surface. He looked over at it to see her name appearing on the blue screen.
"Are you going to take that?" Barret asked.
"No." Cloud answered after a long moment. It was hurting him not to, especially on the day of her birthday, she had no idea how much it hurt him, no one had but him. Breathing was hard, just being there looking at the mobile phone vibrate was hard.
Aerith snapped her phone shut looking sadly at it. She wondered where Cloud was but she didn't want to think he was deliberately not answering. She held the phone close to her chest and tightly in her hand.
After ten minutes of waiting for him to call back she got up, got dressed and left her house to go to the church. She sat down on the first wooden bench from the first row and looked up at the hole on the roof where the sunlight came in with several rays of bright light. The events form last night ran through her mind. Zack, Cloud, their fight and the mistake Zack had made. She raised a hand to her cheek and softly stroked it feeling the aching bruise on her skin. It didn't feel as bad as it did last night but it definitely wasn't good. She would give anything to erase that night from her head, anything.
I shouldn't have left bed today… She thought quietly to herself. I should have already known my birthday is never a good day. She remembered that day four years ago when Zack told her he had to leave on a mission to be gone for what seemed like forever. Now, Cloud's absence couldn't be good and there was some strange feeling inside her chest telling her something wasn't right.
"There's just one thing I don't understand." Kunsel said thoughtfully after Zack had explained to him everything he had been through. From the attack, the coma, the family that took care of him to the part where he came back to see Aerith and she was with Cloud.
"What?" Zack asked shrugging while he took a sip of the water bottle Kunsel had given him.
"What are you still doing here?" Kunsel asked in an obvious tone of voice.
"What do you mean?" Zack pause to look at him in confusion.
"Well the way I see it you screwed pretty bad things with Aerith last night. Shouldn't you go talk to her and apologize? It's the least you could do for now don't you think? You say you don't want to stay away from her even if you can't be her boyfriend anymore. So… go be her friend and apologize!" Kunsel advised while Zack listened to him carefully.
"I don't know Kunsel…" Zack shook his head and a striking pain hit him again. "Ouch." He moaned lifting his hand to the top of his head. "I'm not drinking ever again. It really was a one day thing only."
"You won't solve any problems with drinking that's for sure." Kunsel said.
"Thanks for the warning." Zack rolled his eyes sarcastically. "I guess you're right though. I should go apologize to her."
"What about Cloud?"
"I miss him Kunsel. I've missed my friend but…"
"Have you considered that it probably wasn't his fault that he fell for Aerith?" I mean… you don't get to choose those kinds of things right?"
"I just couldn't believe Aerith did that to me. I seriously thought she'd be waiting for me. How did she get over me that quickly? I completely made a fool of myself when I went to meet her in the church. I kind of got there and tried kissing her like she was still mine."
"It's been four years Zack."
"So? Does love have an expiration date?"
"You're being selfish aren't you?"
"I'm just being broken-hearted man." Zack replied dropping his hands between his knees and sighing.
"Man we should stop talking about this. I feel so girly talking about feelings." Kunsel shook his head as he noticed the two sitting on the couch. "I guess the only thing missing here is a bucket of ice-cream for you."
"Joke all you want. When it happens to you I'll see how you do." Zack said finally rising to his feet in a slow movement. He didn't want to make any sudden movements that would cause that throbbing pain in his head again.
"Have you made up your mind?" Kunsel asked looking up at him.
"Yeah… I have to find Aerith." The black-haired man said. "I need some explanations and I need to apologize."
"That's the Zack I knew who just doesn't sit on things." Kunsel smiled.
"Thanks Kunsel. After Aerith… I had no one I could go to." Zack stretched his hand at his friend to shake his firmly.
When Zack walked the hectic streets of Midgar he only had one place to go. He would try to find her at the church with the hope that she was there. He knew that if he showed up at her house her mother would most certainly have a heart-attack by seeing him there. He kept his fingers crossed as an extra measure of good luck. He passed by thousands of people on his way to the church, all the while thinking about what he was going to say to her. He had a lot to tell Aerith, and this time he was hoping to sit down quietly and listen to what she had to say about her relationship with Cloud. He wanted to know how it happened and he felt like they owed it that to him.
That's when he got a glimpse of someone's golden spiky hair followed by the sky-blue of two shimmering eyes, staring at him. He looked up following the yellow color of his hair to find Cloud a couple of steps in front of him. His hand was carrying a black bag, his face looked miserable like he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders and not just a travelling bag on his hand. They didn't know for how long they stood there puzzled looking at each other before the first one made the first move.
"Going somewhere?" Zack finally asked breaking the uncomfortable silence.
"Yeah… I'm going to take the train out of here." Cloud answered, his eyes met the floor.
"Why?" Zack asked raising one eyebrow. He stared at the blond man in front of him as he didn't answer. "Don't worry… if she forgot about me that easily, she'll have no trouble forgetting about you as well."
"Don't you dare say something like that about her!" That made Cloud's hands turn into fists and start shaking. Rage tingled through his veins while his stomach contorted in pain. "You have no idea how she looked like when I first met her! She pushed me back, she didn't want to speak to anyone and there were days I could tell she spent the night crying over you! If you want to put the blame on someone, that would be me. I was the one who didn't give up on her because it broke my heart to see her in the state she was in."
Zack opened his mouth to speak but he hesitated and just looked down.
"Why are you leaving then?" Zack finally asked.
"Because I can't stay here knowing how much you love her. It would only be a matter of time before she realizes she never stopped loving you too and go back to you." Cloud answered and his throat tied into a knot, he struggled to keep his voice steady. He knew he was right; it was Zack standing there in front of him, her first love.
"So you're just giving up, is that it?" Zack asked staring straight into the blue eyes of the blond mercenary. "I didn't think you were one to give up. Did you tell her you were leaving?"
"I left her a letter. Now I have a train to catch." Cloud said and started walking again. "Goodbye Zack." He said when he walked past the black-haired man. Flashes of memories ran through their minds as they remembered the times they had spent together as SOLDIERS. They were but distant recollections of times that were long past.
Aerith finished tending her flowers at last and rose to her feet, cleaning the perspiration from her forehead with the back of her hand. She smiled warmly at her plants and whispered them a goodbye before leaving the church.
When the flower girl from the slums reached her house, she went straight to the bathroom to take a long warm bath and dress into some clean clothes. After resting for a couple of minutes on her bed, she got up and climbed down the stairs into the kitchen where Elmyra was taking some groceries out of a paper bag to put them away.
"Happy birthday my dear." She kissed her daughter's forehead and smiled. "I bought some of your favourite food to cook you a nice dinner tonight."
"Thank you mom." Aerith said giving her a small smile because she wasn't hungry. She didn't say it to her mother so she wouldn't break her heart.
"Oh by the way! Did you read the letter Cloud left you? He dropped by yesterday to ask me to give it to you. I found that a little strange, did you guys fight or something?" Elmyra asked while she took the last groceries out of the paper bag.
"Mom… where is this letter?" Aerith's voice came out a shocked whisper, her green eyes open wide and her body froze while she cursed her mother for not giving her the letter sooner.
"I left it next to the phone at the entrance desk." Elmyra said. "I thought you would see it there. He also left a little blue box with it. It must be your present."
Aerith turned around hurriedly to run to the entrance where she found the letter under the square blue box on the desk. She quickly opened the envelope and took out the white piece of paper, her hands trembling as she opened it. Her eyes eagerly scanned the written words in his handwriting:
Dear Aerith,
Part of me wanted to forget what I saw today and stay with you. But I don't want you to be with me while you're thinking of what could have happened if you returned to Zack. I understand you still have feelings for him and I know I would lose you sooner or later. I want you to know though… that I love you and if you do want to be with me, I'll be waiting for you. If you decide otherwise, I'm leaving tomorrow to go somewhere, anywhere, just to put some distance between us. Where I end up isn't important because I would do anything to make you happy.
I'll never forget you Aerith and everything you were to me is something I can't exactly explain.
I'm sorry I could only say this by letter, but I hope you understand how much it would hurt me to say it in person.
I hope you like the present I'm giving you. I would love to see you wearing it.
Until we meet again,
Love,
Cloud.
After Aerith had finished reading the letter, her vision was blurry with tears. She started breathing heavily, almost hyperventilating with the thought of Cloud leaving. She tore apart the blue paper wrapping the box and then opened it carefully, her hands still trembling. The sight of the silver necklace with a small heart, which encased a crimson ruby in its middle, made her let out a faint laugh in between sobs. As she looked at it in her fingers she thought it was the most beautiful silver necklace she had ever seen. Placing the box on the desk, she fastened the necklace on her neck, it fit her perfectly like it had always belonged there. The cold touch of silver on her warm skin made her shudder.
She looked at the entrance clock, wondering in panic if she still had time to stop Cloud from leaving. What gave him the idea that she didn't want to be with him? She folded Cloud's letter carefully in four and shoved it into the pocket of her red coat. She yelled at her mother that she was going out, and before Elmyra could reply, Aerith was already out the door and running to the train station. This is why Cloud was leaving her house yesterday when she arrived with Zack there. She wondered in horror if she would be too late. No, she couldn't be late, Cloud couldn't go away, she wouldn't let him go if it was the last thing she'd do.
She ran as fast as she could, the cold air making it hard to breathe as it cut through her nostrils and into her lungs. She heard the wind whistling in her ears and she knew nothing would keep her from reaching Cloud on time. Well, nothing except something she wasn't expecting to happen.
When she stopped to look at some directions to the train station, someone placed a hand over her mouth and grabbed her arms while she struggled with all of her strength to get free. Unfortunately, the mysterious person was able to drag her into a black van and take her away. She tried screaming and kicking as they pulled her into the smoked-glass van, but her efforts were futile. Her voice was muffled by a suffocating hand over her mouth and her legs were being held by someone she couldn't make out clearly.
No… Cloud! I need to stop you! She shouted in panic inside her mind as her vision started to disappear while darkness engulfed her.
Cloud looked from his ticket to the train that was already on the platform. A woman's voice informed all the passengers to board the train that was leaving in five minutes. As a last string of hope, Cloud looked off into the distance in an effort to locate someone that looked like Aerith. He had been fooling himself that she would stop him from going; he wanted to believe she'd be there. But no one in that station looked like the green-eyed beautiful brunette he was hoping to see.
I guess she's not coming… He thought and felt his eyes starting to burn.
He squeezed the stripe of his bag tightly between his hand.
Cloud sighed sadly, looking down at the ground as he took one step forward toward the train stairs. Suddenly, he heard a very faint voice calling his name.
Note: Just wanted to say that here in my story both Zack and Cloud are SOLDIER partners! Yeah Cloud made it into SOLDIER here! Good boy! Thank you so much for the reviews everyone! I really appreciate every single one of them! Also I'd like to thank my friend Prexistence for the help she gave me going through my chapter! *hugs* And my chibipinkbunny because she helped me decide what to write next! Thank you everyone reading and reviewing! I really mean it!
