Finding Trudy in You (5.06)

(Monk standing in the reunion reception, after the other alumnus left to be with his family)

Monk felt all alone. He had talked to a few people, all of whom he knew but none of whom knew him. They barely remembered his college tales or laughed at what he said; Trudy was all they remembered. They were Trudy's friends, not his. Monk was the "lone wolf" in the pack, cleaning and ordering the carcasses after the hunt but never given recognition at suppertime. He felt miserable, and the other alumnus's life, which contradicted all that Monk said, made him more so. He was determined to stay no longer and get back home to reorganizing his yearbook.

Then, Natalie came over and took his arm in hers. She gave Monk a sympathetic smile. She was flattered when Monk tried to portray himself as "Mr. Cool". He even stood at an angle to appear 'cool', which made his pin more askew. Of course, she hardly believed him but still found his efforts cute and funny. Later, after she learned what "Mr. Cool" really meant, she decided not to leave him alone. She knew how lonely she felt when going to reunions without Mitch, and given who Adrian Monk was, it would be ten times as hard. Even though others came with their families or significant others, Natalie could not abandon Monk. He was her friend, arguably best friend, and needed her that night.

Monk whispered a "thank you". He appreciated that she came over for him. So many times, whenever he felt lonely or down, Natalie came to cheer him up. Even a simple action as she did helped as much as Dr. Kroger's sessions. While the other alumni had their significant others, he had Natalie, just like he had Trudy while he was there as a student. That was enough.

Monk walked with Natalie to the dining room. They were about to find somewhere else to eat when Diane approached. She looked at them with a smile on her face, and asked the inevitable question. While Natalie answered with a straightforward no, Monk gave several responses along with hand motions and headshakes. Natalie found herself saddened for some reason. She wished that Monk was a little less emphatic in his denial. Did he really have to make all those gestures?

Diane looked at them with curiosity. She saw Natalie walking in and grabbing hold of Adrian's arm. For a moment, she thought Trudy was alive. Natalie reminded her of Trudy, not just in appearance. She knew Adrian would not lie – he tried once when she asked him why he was in Trudy and her dorm room, but he answered that he was delivering library books. Nonetheless, Diane thought Adrian and Natalie might be letting on less than they were, or were a bit blind for their own good. Maybe it was time to do something for an old friend…

(In the library, where Monk was reminiscing about meeting Trudy)

"It was yesterday," Monk whispered wistfully.

Natalie looked at Monk with happiness. She loved his story, which he told with much detail and great effect. As he was telling her the story, she allowed her thoughts to wonder. If she were in Trudy's shoes that day and met Adrian, she too would have been wooed by him. Natalie perished such thought, but could not help wondering what Trudy was thinking or what she was like. The Adrian Monk that Trudy met and fell in love with was still right there, twenty-eight years later, unchanged.

Monk interrupted her with a question, "Natalie? Could you do me a favor?"

"Ok, what is it, Mr. Monk?" Natalie asked quickly.

"I want to re-act that moment. Could you be Trudy, and I'll be…me?"

Natalie was stunned for a moment. She never anticipated that Monk would ask her to do that. Nothing was wrong with doing it, but it seemed so unconventional and private. Adrian Monk was no ordinary man, and Natalie thought it was a great way to know what Trudy and the young Adrian Monk were really like. She therefore accepted.

The act felt strange for both of them. Monk was trying to think of Natalie as Trudy. Natalie was trying to be like Trudy. What Monk saw was Natalie approaching him and playing the part of Trudy. He tried, but could not replace Natalie with Trudy. Nonetheless, she was quite convincing as Monk found his late wife in Natalie: her posture, demeanor, words and voice. It seemed as if he were meeting Natalie for the first time and taking an interest in her instead of Trudy. That left Monk quite confused. Meanwhile, Natalie wasn't doing better. She tried to be perfect (Monk would tolerate nothing else) but had a partial knowledge of what Trudy was like. As she approached Monk, she found him quite charming, even as a man of forty-seven. She too was confused about playing a role and acting on some real feelings.

The act was shorter since Drew wasn't present. But a clap prompted Natalie and Monk to look upstairs. A friendly, elderly lady descended the steps and approached them. She introduced herself, "I'm Jean Carpenter. I've been librarian for ten years. So, this is where you two met?"

Natalie responded, "Oh, no. We're not married. This was where my boss here, Adrian Monk, met his wife, Trudy Ellison."

Ms. Carpenter responded, "Oh, Adrian Monk. I do remember hearing about you. Didn't you use to work here in the library? I heard good things about you as a student."

Monk replied, "Yes, that was me." He then went on thinking about what "good things" she was referring to.

"Well, you two could have fooled me. I don't want to keep you. Have a good reunion." Ms. Carpenter then disappeared into the bookshelves.

Monk and Natalie were left in thought about the act and what the librarian said. Monk could not deny that Natalie reminded him of Trudy, during the act and in real life. He just could not understand why so many people thought he and Natalie were dating. It sounded a bit outlandish, and he was a married man. But within his mind, Monk was no longer convinced about any of those beliefs and only felt confused.

Natalie was feeling no better. That act felt too real for her, and Monk almost charmed her into hugging and kissing him to no end, which fortunately did not happen or else she would have to use all those backup wipes in her car. She, too, was confused about how she felt about her boss. What began as a tender moment of reminiscence turned into something else more confusing. Now, even when another person thought they were dating, Natalie found herself prone not to disagree.

(At the end of evening, Natalie and Monk departing, as they walked across the bench)

Monk and Natalie walked slowly down the path. She was holding onto his arm, which Monk silently enjoyed. They stopped by the bench where Monk had first confessed his love to Trudy. Natalie let go of Monk as he stepped forward to reminisce. She saw the emotions and memories flooded back in his eyes. She wanted to leave him space for recollecting another important moment in his life. Yet, she wanted to stay close to him and let him know that she was there.

Monk played the image of him and Trudy in his head. He saw them alive as if they were there twenty-eight years ago. But he knew that the moment had passed. Monk turned and looked at Natalie, who was looking at him. Monk then realized how important Natalie was to him and where she stood in his life. Trudy was his past, and she undoubtedly would remain with him in spirit. But Natalie was his present and maybe future. She was now the woman and most significant person in his life, and although they were not romantically involved – something Monk needed to ponder on later – she was his friend, assistant, partner and confidant.

With no words, only tacit feelings, Natalie took Monk's arm as they prepared to depart. The class reunion was not just another crime in Adrian Monk's casebook but a period of reminiscence and introspection. They thought about Trudy as well as each other. With those thoughts in mind and emotions at heart, Natalie and Adrian walked off the campus, footsteps dancing under California's moon and Trudy Monk's watch.