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Chapter 7 If Only You Could Know
Just another Saturday night. Only among many. I am sitting alone in my apartment, with a beer in my hand wishing I had anything to do. I am getting so tired of being alone, even being with Parker doesn't make up for the loneliness any more. I almost told her today. I almost told her how I feel. But I am such a chicken shit. So tonight I sit here thinking if only you could know the things I need to say. My heart is such an open book I'm afraid you'd see it all if only you would look, but you never seem to look that deep.
Tonight is another night when you won't be alone. You have made plans to go out with some guy. I don't even bother to listen to the name anymore because it rips my heart open and pours salt on the open wounds when I think about you with someone else. If only you would glimpse the feelings I have. If only you would notice what I'm dying to reveal. The dreams I can't declare. The needs I wish I didn't have to deny.
His revelry was broken by the ringing of his phone. "Booth, hi Angela, no I'm not doing anything. I really don't want to go anywhere. Angela I'd really prefer to just stay home. No I don't have Parker this week-end. OK, OK I give up. I'll be there in thirty minutes." Well he thought to himself at least I won't be alone for part of the week-end.
Arriving at the Founding Fathers he noticed most of his friends already at a table and paired off. Oh great now he was going to be a fifth wheel. It seemed the new parings of his friends were settling in and they all looked happy.
"Hey Booth," Angela said as she leaned over Wendell and spoke into Booth's ear with enough volume to be heard over the ambient noise. "Know where Bren is?"
"Nope," he replied. "She said she was going out on a date so I guess that's where she is." Booth sat down with his beer and grim face.
"Wow," Angela remarked to Wendell "if looks could kill Booth would be up on murder charges for killing me. If only I knew how I'd make her see the light. If it were up to me it would turn out right. I'd simply wave my hand and make all their dreams come true and wouldn't that surprise them if they only knew?" Angela turned her glum face toward Wendell.
"Call her Angela, maybe she is at home, maybe she just told Booth she was going out but she isn't. Call her." With that Wendell handed Angela his phone and pushed her off in the direction of the ladies room to give her a quiet place to call Dr. Brennan.
On the fourth ring Angela heard Brennan pick up "Sweetie your home. Come join us at Founding Fathers. It's Saturday. Come for just a drink. I don't care just throw on some jeans and a sweater. Come on Brennan it's been ages since we've done anything fun please? Great see ya in a few." Angela came bouncing back and kissed Wendell on the cheek "she was home and is coming over. Now all we need to do is make sure Booth doesn't leave before she gets here.
On her way to the Founding Fathers Brennan was thinking about tonight. She had told Booth she was going out tonight, and she had planned on it. However, when she got home the idea of getting dressed to go out with someone other than Booth just seemed too hard, so she had cancelled. She could have called Booth, but he probably had plans so she would talk to him on Monday. As usual lately when she thought of Booth her heart began to tighten. What is it about him that's so wonderfully and possibly familiar? How come when he looks at me it seems like time stops moving? His voice, his smile, those eyes how they cause me to ache behind my smile. As she arrived at the Founding Fathers she saw Angela and walked over to the group. Looking down she saw him and sat down.
Booth: "I thought you…"what happened to her date?
Brennan: "I decided not to…" I thought he had Parker.
Booth: "Did Angela tell…" is Angela the only reason she is here?
Brennan: "No she just asked…" is Angela the only reason he is here?
Booth: I want to be the reason she is here.
Brennan: I want to be the reason he is here.
Booth: I guess it doesn't show if I never find a way to tell you so…
Brennan: I guess it doesn't show oh what I would give if only you could know..
Leaning into each other and whispering into the others ear they both heard:
Booth & Brennan: "I Love You"
With their kiss the world around them disappeared. Later that night wrapped in each other's arms they would talk about all the secrets they would learn, all the longings they'd return. The silence would be broken not a word would need to be spoken...
This chapter was inspired by "If Only" – Little mermaid – Lyricists Alan Menken
