A/N: Thanks for reading. Two more chapters after this one. If you have a spare minute or two, a review / critique is appreciated. Enjoy.


A New Set of Rules

Chapter 3

EJ drove aimlessly after leaving Gibbs earlier that morning. She had checked out of her hotel prior to calling him and had nowhere to go before her meeting with Director Craig. As her agitation grew her attention strayed from the road. After running a stop sign and almost hitting another driver she pulled off to the side and struggled to calm herself.

This is ridiculous. I'm going to kill someone. I just need to go back to the office and wait to see the director. I can take the shuttle from there to Andrews.

She checked the car into the Navy Yard motor pool around half-past eleven and decided she would wait in one of the conference rooms and catch-up on email until the director was available. Knowing she would have to walk past the bullpen to reach a conference room she hoped most of the staff would be out to lunch. She desperately wanted to avoid the questioning glances she had endured the day before when she arrived at the director's request. The elevator bell rang, the door opened and she exited onto the floor. Looking toward the agents' work area she groaned. This was definitely not her lucky day.

Walking toward the bullpen she saw Tony DiNozzo look up from his desk and crack a huge grin when he saw her. As she came closer EJ saw the back of Ziva David's head as she concentrated on her computer monitor.

"Well, well, well. Special Agent Barrett." Tony chimed. "Anything new since yesterday?" EJ remembered their intense, but cathartic discussion the day before about their past relationship and the director's offer for her to come to DC and lead Team 2.

Before she could respond, Ziva's head snapped around to stare at EJ, surprise in her eyes. She was sure Ziva had heard the rumors she had been offered the Team 2 lead position, everyone else had. But it was obvious from Ziva's expression that she did not know EJ was in town.

After a few moments EJ saw the tension leave Ziva's body. "Congratulations, Agent Barrett," Ziva said politely. EJ heard the sincerity in her voice. "I look forward to working with you. You will be a fine team leader."

"That's if she takes the job," Tony quipped. "Decided yet, EJ?"

Ziva shot a confused glance at Tony, then turned back to EJ. "You have decided to take the position, yes?"

EJ felt the look of panic burst across her face before she could muster any effort to control her features. She was mentally exhausted after her morning with Gibbs and had little reserve to control her emotions. She realized Ziva must have seen her panicked expression because the Israeli's eyes opened wide as she turned toward Tony again, this time with a questioning frown. Tony shrugged at Ziva and looked back at EJ

"Thank you, Ziva," EJ said, carefully choosing her words. "I'm still …, reviewing my options. I will let the director know later this afternoon. Excuse me. I need to catch-up on some email and paperwork." She walked toward the conference rooms as Tony and Ziva stared after her.

EJ adjusted her seat at the conference table, booted up her computer, logged into the wireless network and began to plow through the hundreds of emails which had stacked-up in just the few days she had been absent from Rota. A while later her video conference call window popped-up indicating someone online wanting to video chat. She opened the control panel to see who was calling and was startled to see Gibbs' name. She clicked on the start call button and Gibbs' face appeared on the screen.

"Jethro," she said, cautiously. "This is new. Computers aren't exactly your thing."

"New profession - new skills," he said. "I can change, EJ. It just takes a while."

She said nothing, the hot flush of anger crawling up her neck into her cheeks.

After an uncomfortable pause he continued. "It's just, well … there are rules. Ya know? We talked about that."

Her resilience exhausted, she was unable to control her emotions any longer as they boiled to the surface. And now, Gibbs' attempt to hide behind his precious rules was too much, pushing her over the edge, anger bursting out. She was livid!

"Screw your goddamn rules, Jethro!" she yelled. "You've always hidden behind them, used them as an excuse to keep people away. I'm not gonna play by your messed-up rules anymore."

Gibbs face flickered on the screen as his voice crackling over the computer's speakers. "Rules have a purpose, EJ. They keep things in order. They keep people alive."

"Bullshit!" she spat back. "Bullshit, Jethro. That may have been true before, but not now. You're not a Marine any more. You're not a goddamned NCIS agent any more. Your rules were built around that life. You don't live that life anymore. This is not Hawaii!"

"It's not that simple," he replied.

Exacting every ounce of will power remaining she calmed herself and her voice became steely cold. "Actually, Jethro, it is that simple. It has always been that simple. It is a simple matter of making a decision, either 'yes' or 'no'. You already know my decision."

Gibbs started to speak but EJ clicked the end call button and closed her computer. With her elbows on the table she dropped her head to into her hands, her eyes brimming with tears.

After a moment she had the feeling she wasn't alone. Looking up she saw Ziva standing in the doorway looking apologetic, but concerned.

"I am sorry," Ziva said. "I came to ask you why you had not yet accepted the team lead position. Then I overheard you talking. I should have left, or at least alerted you to my presence. It was inexcusable behavior on my part."

EJ wearily shook her head and wiped her eyes. "No, Ziva. Don't apologize. It's alright. I'm just having a … life challenge."

Ziva hesitated, then walked over to the table and sat. "I did not know," she said, "... about you and Gibbs, I mean."

EJ was surprised at the Israeli's empathy. "Not too many people do," she replied.

"I understand now why you are not sure about taking the position. It must be very hard." Ziva paused, then asked quietly, "What happened … in Hawaii?"

Not surprised by Ziva's directness, EJ considered how to answer the question, or even if she should. But any reluctance disappeared as she thought of Ziva's and Tony's situation. Ziva was more like Gibbs, and Tony, more like her. This was a matter of love and there was nothing more important. She had finally learned that lesson, although maybe too late for her and Gibbs. If there was some way she could make Ziva understand and not repeat her own mistake - to help Ziva move past her fear and take the chance of love with Tony - then she would not hold herself back for fear of embarrassment or judgment.

She sighed, turned and faced Ziva. "Gibbs and I met ten years ago, when he was temporarily assigned to the Pearl Harbor field office after Kate Todd was killed."

EJ noticed Ziva's body stiffen at the mention of Kate's death. She knew it was Ziva's half-brother, Ari, who had gone rogue from Mossad and killed Kate while Ziva was acting as his control officer.

Taking a deep breath, she continued, "After Kate was killed Director Morrow made all of Gibbs' team take time off. Gibbs was pretty stubborn about wanting to work, so instead of fighting him the director posted him to Pearl as temporary lead of my team while our permanent lead was recovering from a broken arm and leg."

Ziva nodded, encouraging EJ to continue.

"I don't know how to explain this, so I'll just put it out there. When I first saw him I felt like I had known him for a long time and the attraction was incredible. Not just physically. I mean, I just felt - connected. And what was even more bizarre was that he felt the same way. We had never met, but there was some type of …," she paused, trying hard to find the right words, "… I don't know. I just can't describe it."

Ziva looked thoughtful and nodded. "Yes, I think I know what you mean," she said.

She suspected Ziva might understand. After she and Tony had reconciled their brief and tumultuous relationship he had shared with her some of his feelings toward Ziva. EJ's connection with Gibbs was exactly how Tony had described the connection both he and Ziva had felt toward each other from the time they first met.

"Anyway," EJ continued, "He was pretty messed up, blaming himself for Kate's death. He was really hurting. And …, he was gentle and sincere and sweet. He let me in, let me help. We spent a lot of time talking. But we also spent a lot of time just sitting, just holding each other's hand. He even told me about Shannon and Kelly."

At that admission Ziva looked shocked. "He told you about Shannon and Kelly?," she stammered.

EJ sighed, "Yeah. Don't tell him I told you."

"How long was he stationed there?", Ziva asked.

"Eight weeks, two days," EJ responded.

"One thing that surprised me was he treated me like a professional. He didn't see me as a kid and I didn't see him as a father figure. I was young - I think around 26 - and he was in his mid-forties. But that didn't color his expectations of me as an agent. And age just disappeared when we shared - other things."

EJ felt the heat of a slight blush filling her cheeks. "We got close, probably closer than was professionally appropriate. But it was right - it felt right."

"Did you …," Ziva paused, but EJ knew the question on her mind.

"… become intimate?" EJ finished her sentence.

Ziva nodded.

"Yes." Her eyes left Ziva's, staring at the back wall, not seeing the photo hanging there, her thoughts in another time and place.

"After four weeks of constantly being in each other's presence, working cases during the day and talking about our lives at night, we went further. The next four weeks were …," she didn't finish her thought as she brought her attention back to Ziva. "I fell in love with him and he fell in love with me."

"What happened?" Ziva asked.

"Rule Twelve."

"Oh," Ziva nodded in understanding.

"After he left Hawaii and returned to DC I tried to contact him, but he ignored my calls and emails. Hell, I even wrote several letters. I finally quit trying. A couple of years later I was offered the lead position in Rota and even then I heard nothing from him."

"And when you and your team were reassigned to DC five years ago, what happened then?," Ziva asked, confusion evident on her face.

"I confronted him about being such a bastard for not returning my emails and phone calls; for acting like what happened between us never occurred. That's when he told me that right after he left Hawaii he found out my uncle was an Undersecretary of the Navy.

"Ah," Ziva said, understanding in her voice. "And eventually your uncle became Secretary of the Navy, Secretary Davenport."

EJ nodded, continuing her rant, "Five years later, that's when he threw Rule Twelve in my face! That's when I finally found out what happened to him - to us. Five goddamned years later!"

Realizing her emotions had broken free again EJ stopped herself, took a deep breath and let it out slowly, struggling to regain control of her thoughts and feelings.

Ziva eyes fell to the table, her voice hesitant, "And, Tony?"

EJ cringed, hearing the pain in Ziva's voice. "I didn't realize it then," she paused, "no, that's not true. I didn't admit to myself then that Tony was my way to strike back at Gibbs, to hurt him as much as he hurt me. Then he told me he knew about my uncle's position and that was why he cut himself off after Hawaii. That really hit me, but finally everything made sense. It hurt. I was angry. Tony didn't deserve what I put him through."

She turned to Ziva, saying nothing until Ziva's eyes rose to meet hers. "Ziva, I am so sorry. Tony and I have resolved this, but I know he and Gibbs weren't the only ones I hurt."

Ziva smiled softly and nodded. "Tony told me about your relationship and your mutual resolution. But your explanation clears up many things. I do not harbor ill feelings toward you, EJ. I cannot imagine how difficult all of this has been for you."

EJ swallowed hard and reached her hand across the table, touching Ziva's. "Ziva, screw the rules. Don't wait until it's too late."

Ziva looked down again, but nodded, understanding what was left unspoken in EJ's plea to her. "There is much more to you than I thought. Thank you, EJ. I hope you find resolution with Gibbs."

EJ nodded. No words were necessary. Ziva stood up, turned and walked out of the conference room.

Alone again with her thoughts EJ considered her conversation with Ziva. Her confusion was beginning to fade, bringing feelings and circumstances into focus, providing a clarity she had not had in weeks. She sighed, her shoulders dropped and she shook her head. But she knew now what she had to do. Reaching over to the conference room phone she dialed the director's office and told his secretary she was ready to see him when he was available. It turned out he was free and could see her right away.

Hanging up she drew in a deep breath and steadied herself about her decision.