The nerves didn't hit Santana fully until she was leading her Mother out of the hospital. She'd been anxious of course, in the days leading up to her Mom's release but the undeniable fear hadn't truly hit until they had stepped through the glass doors, out of the hospital, and into the outside world. She was grateful that Rachel had offered to drive, because with the way her hands were shaking there was no way she would have been to. It had been enough of a push to simply make her way to her Mom's room to help her collect her things.
Twisting her hands together nervously as her eyes flitted between her Mom and Rachel, Santana took a deep, calming breath. All she could think about was the first time she had introduced them to each other and how badly that had gone. Images of her Mother's disinterest, and Rachel's awkward rejection, were still crystal clear in her mind and as her teeth gnawed her bottom lip she tried to remember that things were different now. "Mom," Santana began trying to muster up enough confidence to at least sound in control of the situation, "You remember Rachel Berry." Even though her Mom knew Rachel was going to be coming with her to pick her up, and even though her Mom had suggested that Rachel stay the night, Santana still felt the need to break the ice. "Rachel, my Mom, Marianna."
Much like before Rachel flashed Marianna a huge smile and extended her hand to greet the older woman. "It's nice to meet you again," she said sincerely, all thoughts of their previous meeting pushed from head, though she could practically hear Santana thinking about it. She wished she could reach over and take one of Santana's shaking hands in her own.
Marianna let out a quiet, relived, sigh. It wasn't that she had been expecting her daughter's friend to do or say anything negative, especially after the number of things Santana had told her about this Rachel Berry, but part of her had still been nervous. After all, she had dismissed the teenager with barely any acknowledgement before. Taking a step forwards, Marianna offered a smile and clasping Rachel's outstretched hand she shook it. "It's very nice to meet you again too Rachel, especially since this one over here has been talking about you non-stop."
"Mom…" She tried to sound embarrassed, but the goofy grin that lit up her face made it clear that Santana was more than happy seeing her Mom and Rachel talking together, a scene that only a few weeks ago she never thought she'd see. She was still getting used to the idea of having her Mom back in her life but moments like this made it that much easier, and the normality of the situation was only broken by the fact that they were lingering at the entrance of the hospital.
"It's okay," Rachel chimed in, "You can talk about how great I am whenever you like."
Sticking out her tongue Santana couldn't help but chuckle at the angelic smile she was met with, Rachel even going so far as to flutter her eyelashes. "Okay," Turning to her Mom, she managed to quickly steal the overnight bag from the woman's hand and sling it over her back in one smooth motion, before pointing left. "The car is this way and unless we want to sell it to pay for the parking charges, we should get going."
"Yes Ma'am." Offering a quick salute Rachel turned and began walking towards her car, already delving through her oversized bag for her keys.
Santana followed, trying to keep her eyes off of the expanse of leg that Rachel's short skirt offered, which proved to be a lot easier to do with her Mom walking by her side. She even managed to keep her mind in a respectable place watching Rachel gracefully slide into the driver's seat. In fact as Rachel manoeuvred the car through the streets of Lima, Santana was pretty proud of herself for getting through an entire car ride with only taking one quick, super discreet, ogle of Rachel and her low cut top.
"We're here," Rachel called out unnecessarily as she slowed the car to a stop in front of the Lopez house, which somehow seemed much less intimidating now than the times she had been there before.
"Thank you Rachel," Marianna said as she unclipped her seatbelt. She still couldn't believe Santana had willingly given up the chance the ride shotgun, and did not for one minute believe her daughter's jokes about being seen in a Prius. "I really appreciate it."
"Happy to help."
"Okay," Santana interrupted, rolling her eyes playfully at the overly polite exchange as she waited for a Mom to get out of the car. She really did not like getting stuck sitting in the back with the whole two-door system and jiggling the seat slightly she added, "¡Vamos, Mami!"
"Patience is a virtue," Rachel sang as she heard Marianna chuckle.
Santana nodded in agreement. "One which you both know, I do not possess."
"She speaks the truth," Marianna said as she opened the car door. Hauling her bag off of her lap and onto her shoulder she slid out of the car but paused, and dipping back down to look at Rachel she asked, "Are you coming in? I was thinking of making some coffee."
"I'd love some coffee but I told Quinn and Brittany I'd pick them up," Rachel said as she watched Santana quickly slip out of the backseat, worming her way into the front seat with a relieved sigh. "It shouldn't take long though, well… assuming Brittany isn't having any Lord Tubbington related mishaps. Save me a cup?"
Marianna smiled, "Will do. Good luck with Lord…"
"Tubbington," Santana supplied, with a chuckle at the bemused look she was met with in return.
"Right, probably safest not to ask huh?"
From behind Santana, Rachel nodded vigorously. She had never come face to face with the beast but both Tina and Mercedes had filled her in on the details. Quickly making a note to pick up Quinn first, Rachel gave Santana a gentle shove to hurry her out of the car, she knew the other girl was nervous about her Mom being out of the hospital so she wanted to minimise the amount of time they were apart. "I'll be back as soon as I can, okay?"
"Okay," Santana murmured as she kept one eye on her Mom and waited for her to make her way to the front door. When she was certain that she was focused on unlocking the door, Santana let out a heavy sigh, she had hoped that her nerves would have settled at least a little bit on the drive over, but if anything they were worse than ever. She smiled as she felt Rachel's hand slide across her forearm, nimble fingers dancing across her skin and giving a reassuring squeeze, and turning to look at her girlfriend she hoped Rachel knew how grateful she was for her help. Casting a quick glance to make sure her Mom was still distracted, Santana leant forward and closing the already small space between them she drew her into a chaste kiss, lips still pressed against Rachel's as she whispered, "Thank you."
Rachel smiled as they reluctantly separated; already missing the warmth of Santana's skin against hers she prayed that Quinn and Brittany were not going to keep her any longer than necessary. She distinctly remembered telling them to be ready and waiting for her, and if either of them caused her to be away from Santana when she needed her the most, she was going to have a diva-tantrum of epic proportions. "You won't even know I'm gone," Rachel said, her eyes following Santana as she slowly got out of the car.
Santana let her teeth gnaw into her bottom lip as she gave Rachel a doubtful look. "Okay, see you in a bit… Don't let Brittany's sister drag you into one of her Singstar battles and make sure Quinn doesn't forget to bring those DVDs I let her borrow." Easing the door shut she had to laugh at the little salute Rachel offered before pulling away, offering a wave of her own she waited until the car was out of sight before heading inside.
Slipping through the front door Santana took a second to collect herself, she didn't want her Mom to know how nervous she was, but as she edged past the living room and headed toward the kitchen, a familiar sound made her stomach drop. She had heard the rattling of bottles too many times to count and as Santana hurried into the kitchen she came to a shuddering stop. "What are you doing?" Seeing her Mom hunched over the liquor cabinet was one thing, but the fact she was already clutching a bottle of something in her hand was enough to make her feel sick.
"It's not what it looks like," Marianna stated calmly. She hated seeing the heartbroken look on her daughters face and hurrying over to the sink she quickly tipped the liquid down the sink. "I wanted to get rid of it before, well… before you could see. I'm sorry; I didn't mean to scare you. I just- I needed to do now."
"It's… it's okay," Santana managed as she came to stand by her Mom. "I mean, it's better than okay, it's great." Looking up hopefully her smile widened as her Mom reached for another bottle and emptied it down the drain. As they stood together and watched the liquid flow away Santana finally felt her nerves begin to settle.
Tossing the last of the empty bottles into the bin Marianna exhaled loudly, her eyes briefly fluttering shut before opening to look at her daughter. It didn't exactly take a lot of deduction skills to see how anxious Santana was, how anxious she had been from the second she had stepped foot in the hospital room earlier. "It's going to be okay," Marianna said as she tentatively reached out and smoothed a stray hair behind her daughter's ear. It felt strange, being unsure of how to act around her own daughter, but she didn't want to push anything too soon, even though she wanted nothing more than to pull her into a tight hug. She needn't have worried though, as she felt Santana's arms wrap around her and, catching a brief glimpse of a watery smile, Marianna enveloped her daughter into her arms. Dropping a kiss on the top of Santana's head she sighed, "I love you Ana."
"Love you too, Mom." Santana whispered as she gave one last squeeze and let go.
Sniffing back tears Marianna clapped her hands together; trying to ease some of the tension she turned back to one of the nearby cupboards and began rummaging through the contents. "Rachel will be back soon with the others, how about I get some coffee going and you dig out some of those movies you were talking about the other day?"
"Sounds like a plan," Santana said as she tried to remember whether any of her movies were in the right case. It seemed unlikely, and knowing the daunting task that lay ahead she quickly scurried out of the kitchen, a cheerful bounce in her step as she thundered up the stairs praying that at least one of her favourite movies had made it back to its original packaging.
Ten minutes into her search, when she realised nothing was where it was supposed to be, she could practically hear Rachel's smug voice telling her she should have listened to her when she suggested alphabetising her collection. The thought alone was enough to make her laugh, and tossing another case down on a mounting pile Santana shook her head. Rachel was right, as always, but there was no way she was ever going to tell her that of course. Collapsing back onto her bed Santana heard a knock at her door. "Come in, Mom."
Opening the door Marianna let out a long whistle at the chaos she was greeted with.
"I know," Santana said simply as she made no attempt to sit up. "It's a lost cause, I'm admitting defeat."
"It does seem more like something that would require a team effort," Marianna joked, her good mood fading slightly as she fiddled nervously with the hem of her shirt. "Listen, I wanted to talk to you about something before your friends get here…"
"Okay…"
"I spoke to your grandparents earlier today," Marianna said as she stayed lingering in the doorway to Santana's room, her shoulder leaning against the wooden frame as she smiled softly at her daughter. "Christmas is only a few months away and I thought that-"
Sitting up from where she had been laying across her bed, Santana tensed. She had been so wrapped up in the drama of everything lately that she hadn't even thought about the dates, she always planned to get her tickets to Puerto Rico early, wanting to avoid the Christmas rush and guarantee a seat with a good airline. "I- I completely forgot to buy my ticket I-"
"It's okay," Marianna said as she stepped into Santana's room. Her eyes scanned the black walls and although she knew most parents would be displeased with their child's choice of colour, she had to admit Santana had made it look good. "I arranged everything with your Abuelo; you don't have to worry about a thing."
"Oh." Dropping her head slightly Santana wondered whether she should just be grateful that her Mom was at least well enough to organised everything. She should have realised that because things were getting better, it didn't mean they were back to anything resembling normal. "Thanks."
Marianna smiled as she perched on the edge of the bed, and twisting to look at her daughter she explained, "Your grandparents are really looking forward to seeing how much Lima's changed. It's been a long time, after all."
Santana nodded robotically, her mind lagging behind the words. "Wait," Santana barked, head snapping up in shock as she stared in disbelief. "What? You mean…"
Clasping her hands together in her lap to hide her nerves she offered a crooked smile. "They're going to fly in a few days before Christmas Eve and head back after New Year's." Marianna bit her lip as she brought her eyes up to meet Santana's, still unsure of whether she had made the right decision. They hadn't spoken about the holidays at all during her stay in hospital, but after speaking to her parents she had been reassured that this was the right thing to do. She might not be able to get back the time they had wasted, the Christmases and birthdays they had lost, but she could try and start fresh.
"Mami…" Trailing off Santana wondered if she had lost the ability to form coherent thoughts. Suddenly flinging herself forward, she caught them both off guard, by flinging her arms around her Mom and pulling her in to a bone crushing hug. Squeezed against her Mom she whispered, "Thank you."
Marianna closed her eyes tightly, only opening them again when she felt Santana break the hug. "I – I'm not sure that I'm up to cooking, but I thought maybe we could book a table somewhere? I know how much you love BreadSticks, or there's that new place over on Main. We could even head up to Toledo or-"
"Whatever you decide will be perfect," Santana said as she sat back cross-legged and looked up at her Mother with a smile.
"And… I thought, maybe, you would like to invite Rachel." Eyeing her daughter with a knowing smile she added, "I know she's Jewish but it would be nice if she could be there with us. I know your Abuela is very excited to meet the girl you've been talking about so much, Abuelo too."
Ducking her chin to hide the blush on her cheeks Santana laughed, she had spent most of her time on the phone telling her grandparents everything about Rachel. Well, almost everything. Her smile faded as she wondered whether her grandparents would be so excited to meet Rachel if they knew she was more than a friend. Fiddling with the cuff of her sleeve Santana sighed, she didn't even know how her Mom was going to react let alone anyone else. She had only just gotten her family back and she was already faced with the possibility that she might lose everything as quickly as she had recovered it.
Marianna frowned as she watched Santana's smile fade. "I haven't spoken to your father about anything yet, well nothing definite anyway but…"
Closing her eyes Santana resisted the urge to flop back down on the bed and curl into a ball. She hadn't even begun to start sorting through the mess that was her relationship with her Dad and throwing that drama on top of everything else was enough to make Santana nauseous.
"…I'm sure he'll want to be there," Marianna continued optimistically even if her body language betrayed her voice, her hands wringing together nervously in her lap as she tried to get Santana to look at her. "He's been asking about you."
Finally opening her eyes Santana eyed her Mom warily. She found it next to impossible to believe that she had been more than a fleeting thought in her Father's daily life in a very long time. "He has?"
"He has." Marianna knew Santana had every right to be doubtful but she still flinched at the scepticism, a painful reminder of how hurt the girl sitting in front of her was, of how they had only just started to repair the damage inflicted. "I know it might not seem like it, but he's worried about you. He-"
"- has a funny way of showing it," Santana interrupted, her voice cold and hard. Realising how defeated she looked she forced herself to sit up straight. She was about to launch into a well-rehearsed, and not at all true, rant about how much she simply didn't want to talk about how her Dad was, when the sound of the doorbell cut her off. "I should get that," she said and quickly jumping up off the bed she tried to ignore the disappointed look her Mom cast her way. She made it all the way to the door before the guilt made her cave and pausing in the doorway she turned to meet her Mom's gaze. She tried to smile but managed little more than a grimace as she mumbled, "I- I'll talk to him, okay?"
"Thank you," Marianna said as she walked over to stand by her daughter. "I know this is hard for you Ana, and I know it may not seem like it, but… he is trying."
Santana stayed quiet, she knew it wouldn't help to argue, to point out that she had seen none of these supposed attempts to try and make things better. She could hear Rachel banging on the front door and knowing her girlfriend was probably starting to panic a little she gave her Mom a little nod before leaving the room and bolting down the stairs. She pushed all thoughts of her Father to the furthest corner of her mind as she heaved the front door open and tried to force a smile to her face.
"We brought snacks," Brittany shouted as she all but ploughed her way past Santana, dragging Quinn in her wake, "And all the Harry Potter movies. I brought them from crazy-Larry down at the bus shelter last week in exchange for my shoes."
"You know where the TV is," Santana said, not even batting an eyelid at her friend's statement. She waited for the two blondes to disappear into the living room before turning to Rachel, who looked more than a little bemused. "She's kidding," Santana explained, "Probably."
Rachel managed a small, relieved, smile that didn't last long as she heard Quinn's voice drift through the house.
"Brittany… Are these even in English?"
Santana sniggered, it wouldn't be the first time she had ended up sitting through a movie in a language she didn't speak, but to be fair to Brittany Finding Nemo had been just as funny in Polish. She rolled her eyes as she heard her two friends begin to bicker. "We should probably do something…"
"I suppose," Rachel replied, not exactly overjoyed at the fact she wasn't going to get any time alone with her girlfriend. She hadn't missed the forced sense of calm Santana seemed to be hiding behind and, trying to be discreet, she leant closer to her girlfriend and taking her hand in her own she gave it a comforting squeeze. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Santana looked down. "No," she said with a shake of her head, "Not right now. But… later?" Giving Rachel's hand a quick tug she led her towards where she could hear her other friend's. "For now, I just want to curl up with my girlfriend, watch some movies and eat more snacks than humanly possible."
Rachel briefly considered pressing the issue, but knowing how hard the day had been she relented. Santana would talk about it when she was ready and that was all she needed. "Okay." Giving her girlfriend's hand a gentle pull she eased them to a stop just outside the living room and obscured by the doorway she took a step closer, enjoying the feel of Santana's arms instinctively wrapping around her shoulders.
Santana grinned and looking down at Rachel she couldn't resist leaning in, lips grazing across the smoothness of her girlfriend's cheek before slowly drawing the other girl in to a kiss. She sighed as she felt Rachel melt into her, the smaller girl's arms curled tightly around her waist, bringing their bodies together. Santana wished they could stay like this forever, but no sooner had the thought crossed her mind than a loud bang forced them to spring apart.
"Brittany, I swear to god…" Santana heard Quinn grumble, the blonde's displeasure only met with a cheerful. "I didn't break anything this time!" Santana laughed and giving Rachel a playful shove they finally made it into the living room.
They were so lost in each other that neither of them thought to spare a glance behind them, and neither of them saw Marianna; her shoulders tense and body frozen in shock as she stared at the space where her daughter had been.
