Caring (8.07)

(Monk and Natalie were driving home from the scene of the third "voodoo" crime)

Natalie clutched the wheels of the car as she drove Monk home after a few trying weeks. Anyone watching Natalie drive would have noticed that she was more preoccupied than usual, and that her knuckles were almost white. Traffic in San Francisco was still light, and Monk was unusually complaint-free, but Natalie still seemed out of sorts. She sped along Lombard Street's twists and turns, which even dismayed Monk by throwing his world more out-of-whack.

Monk had to interrupt, "Slow down, Natalie. You're getting us killed. Plus, you're making the street unsmooth with all those tire tracks."

Natalie dismissed Monk's complaint with a grunt. She had other things to worry about, namely the three voodoo cases. Her reasons were a mix of personal history and superstitious belief, both of which she thought she had long ago put into her past. Nonetheless, the week's events proved her assumptions wrong. She found herself wrecked with mental anguish at day and unable to sleep at night. For once, her worldly worries were not about Monk or Julie, but herself. She even dialed Dr. Kroger's number once until she realized that Dr. Kroger had long passed. That realization only aggravated her worries.

Natalie turned from Lombard Street but not without first risking running a red light. Monk was still complaining in the background, something about public nuisances and municipal ordinances. Natalie found his behavior unsupportive and even ironic. How could a person with more than 300 phobias, including needles, not fear voodoo dolls? Moreover, how could he not even sympathize with what she was feeling?

Monk's voice finally reached Natalie, who heard him ask, "Natalie, are you all right? You have been acting strange all week. It's me who's always the one with issues."

Natalie first voiced to herself, No kidding Sherlock. She then turned to face Monk and explained her fears, "Adrian, it's the whole voodoo thing. I'm just afraid and frightened. Don't take it as anything against you or the job, but I don't think I can handle this anymore."

Monk gave an inscrutable look of understanding and bewilderment. Finding Natalie attentive and the street hazard bearable, he tried to explain, "Natalie, it's just a voodoo doll. You can get over it. Focus on what's real here: the dolls and nothing else. You need to look it rationally. Laws, science, reason. We do not live in the seventeenth century anymore, even though we still have naked people around doing god-knows-what."

"But Adrian, it's not all supported by laws, science and reason. People believe in voodoo and all this magic because it somehow exists. I can't explain it. Nor can scientists. And look at all the evidence: three, and I emphasize three, people dead and all predicted by voodoo. It's got to be more than a coincidence."

"I know, Natalie. Exactly, it's more than a coincidence. Something is up and I will find out what is going on. As I said, people believe in everything because they are people. That's why we have psychics and astrologers around. But we will eventually discover all the inexplicable things and laws of the world, so that one day we will not need them fakes anymore."

Natalie still found Monk's highly rationalist explanations unconvincing. But she tried to alleviate her fears and shifted the topic, "What about your fears? Are all of them supported by scientific thought? For example, cracked sidewalks, crooked paintings…"

Monk found himself on the defensive. Even more, he remembered sharing a similar conversation with Sharona a long time ago. He tried to justify his fears, even though he knew they were eccentric. "Hey, phobias are documented and well-studied. You've got ablutophobia, fear of washing and bathing, though I wonder how anyone can be afraid of that. Next you have acarophobia, fear of itching and itching insects. Now, that is legitimate, with all that comes with nature and its dirty stuff. Next, you have acerophobia, fear of sourness…" (A/N: Thanks to for this information)

Natalie stopped Monk with a wave of her hand. She thought she would get acerophobia someday from how Monk behaved at times. "Ok, Adrian, I get it. Still, you have to say your list of fears is extraordinary even for a phobias list. Remember years ago I had to include frogs with soccer riots, opossums, and hailstones? It's a list that beats what a psychic can dream up."

Monk soured a bit and tried to retort, "Ok, now you're making fun of me. How can my list of phobias be compared to a psychic's work? They dream up totally imaginary things, not just voodoo predictions. Remember seven years ago, Dora Flint, that quack psychic who was involved in the police commissioner's case?"

"Yea, I remember. You told me about it and how the police commissioner set her up."

"Exactly, that's what psychics do. They either get set up, or make totally wrong predictions. Dora predicted Sharona would meet a gay man named Daniel, got her excited about thing, and later we met some British person called Daniel who thought I was patriotic by touching the poles. Now, that's irrational and bizarre."

Natalie smiled a bit at Monk's story, even though she did not know the facts in full. "That is kind of funny Adrian. What happened to Dora Flint?"

Monk twitched his shoulder and replied, "She married that guy Daniel. Isn't that odd?"

Natalie burst into laughter at the irony. She kept her concentration on the road while sharing the laughs with Adrian on her side. Natalie realized that the story kept her off the voodoo dolls and made her feel much better. It was a credit to Monk who could make her feel good and safe even during her lowest moments.

"Adrian, thank you for that. I feel much better already." Natalie stopped at a red light and leaned over to give Monk a kiss. Her remaining worries and apprehensions melted away. Releasing him, Natalie asked him, "It's a good day. Want to go to the park?"

Monk smiled and joined, "The same park where Sharona and I met Daniel? Maybe if I touch the poles again, we could meet someone else. Those poles sure are lucky."

Natalie stepped on the gas pedal and replied with a smirk, "Now look who's superstitious."

(Evening at Natalie's house, as Monk was keeping vigil)

Natalie was lying on her couch as she tried to find some sleep. Ever since she had received the voodoo doll with her head decapitated, she became a complete wreck. She sent Julie to live with her parents, and could not sleep in the bedroom because of the ceiling fan. Natalie also felt worried that Monk would fire her because she could not take care of him and his daily needs anymore. But she was consoled that Monk would not do such a thing and that she now meant more to him than an employee or a friend. The police had parked a cruiser outside her home, and Stottlemeyer, Disher and Monk took turns looking after her. She felt more loved and protected than any other time since Mitch's death.

Monk walked in from the kitchen with a mug of tea. He took his time – more than two hours, just to fulfill his standards of accuracy and cleanliness – to make a recipe that he said Trudy introduced. Handing the mug to Natalie, Monk sat beside her on the couch. "Here, Natalie, it's Trudy's tea. It always healed me at my most worried and scared moments, which were many. Don't drink too quickly, since it's hot."

Natalie took the mug with a smile of thanks. She loved how Monk stayed by every night looking after her. His kindness in making her dinner and seeing her to sleep made him more affectionate in her heart. Although he probably found an excuse in staying over since he could now clean out her whole house, Natalie did not mind at the least. Having Adrian Monk here gave her a sense of safety and security that she had not felt even when she was in Fireman Joe's arms (A/N: ok, just had to include a Monk novel reference. Thanks to Lee Goldberg).

Natalie drank a sip of the tea. It tasted quite good, not sweet at all but mellow in its own way. The liquid soon soothed her insides and made her mind a bit calmer. "Adrian, thank you for this. The tea is great. Where did Trudy get the recipe?"

Monk leaned down beside her and replied, "I don't know. She never told me and said it's her secret. What matters is that it works."

Natalie nodded and moved a bit so that Monk could sit fully on the couch and be covered by the blanket. He fortunately took off his suit and shoes so that he could lean in a bit on the couch. Natalie felt Monk's body warmth, which independently soothed her. Once again, Adrian Monk was able to dispel her fears and regain her composure.

Monk felt Natalie leaning against him. Even though he was still quite shy and did not invite bodily contact, he felt ok having Natalie touch him, especially with a layer of clothes on. Her touches in fact soothed his worries for her and preoccupations with the mysterious voodoo cases. It felt uncanny to him to care for someone. Leland had suggested that he copy how other people consoled others but Monk had done a poor job until Natalie became upset. Understandably, he lacked experience since Trudy often comforted him back in the day. He had little chance to comfort Trudy at all, especially on that dark December day when he lost her. Monk thus was determined to comfort Natalie and not lose her like he lost Trudy.

Natalie held up the mug and offered Monk a drink, "Here, have a sip. It's quite good and I'm surprised that you did not prepare yourself some."

Monk looked at the mug and Natalie. He was debating whether to accept another person's drink, "Natalie, it's your mug. I can't drink from it. It's not…right." He took a while to substitute "right" for "clean".

Natalie smiled at Monk's shyness. "Come on, Adrian. It's just me. You can kiss me but we can't share a mug. Where's the fun in that?"

Monk found further arguing useless and took a sip. The hot liquid soothed his body and refreshed him. Returning the mug to Natalie, Monk accidentally brushed his finger with the side of the mug and nearly dropped it. Fortunately for Monk's sake, Natalie was able to reach over and steady the mug so that nothing spilled. But unfortunately for Monk, her pajamas went slightly loose and showed the inside with her fully naked front skin.

Monk saw the pajamas come loose and turned around. He was a bit embarrassed at seeing Natalie naked. The conscience within him scolded him for what he had seen but a part of him was aroused. Monk silently berated himself for liking what he had seen, especially since Natalie was emotionally vulnerable. He could not take of advantage of her like that and needed to apologize at once.

Natalie, meanwhile, realized what had happened and quickly secured her pajamas. She blushed red knowing what Monk had seen and how he was feeling then. But a part of her felt turned on that Monk finally saw her naked in the flesh. It excited her and with the hot tea still in her body, she felt her body more excited than before. Nonetheless, it was Monk and she had to explain.

Monk and Natalie turned and looked at each other at the same time. Each of them was blushing as Monk was trying hard not to look at her chest area. Natalie, knowing Monk was silently berating himself, started the conversation, "It's ok Adrian. I'm not offended."

Monk took a while before finding the time to speak, "But Natalie, I saw you naked. Naked. Major naked, not minor."

Natalie placed an arm on Monk's shoulders and ushered him closer, "Adrian, it's ok. As I said, we are in a relationship now and we care about each other. We should not be afraid of each other's bodies. I know it's hard for you and you've come a long way, which I'm very proud of you." Natalie finished up by giving Monk a kiss on the lips and holding him for a while.

Monk took in the kiss and turned to his thoughts. He had feared that Natalie would slap him and order him out of her house or even her life. Fortunately, the worst had not come. In fact, she had partly welcomed the attention and his interest. Monk felt himself blushing at that thought and his reciprocal excitement at seeing her naked.

Natalie saw Monk blushing red. She smirked and started rubbing her arms on Monk's chest. Feeling a reaction, Natalie looked at Monk, "You seem flustered Adrian. It's not the tea, is it?"

Monk felt his excitement grow and could not find the words to answer. He had to cool down quickly, but Natalie was too enticing, and he did not want to leave her alone. And, no, he told himself, the tea had nothing to do with this.

Natalie realized that Monk was speechless and smirked in agreement. She leaned close to him and placed her head on his chest. Running her hands around his torso, but wary of letting them wander too low, she ended her torture by giving Monk another kiss and returning to enjoy the tea. It was a moment too good to forget and something that might allow her to sleep in peace for the first time in a week.

Monk saw Natalie stop her touching and sighed in relief. He had been aroused from the whole episode and made room for Natalie to lean on his chest. Seeing her relaxed for the first time in a long time calmed Monk down. Finding Natalie at peace and enjoying her tea, he ran his hands through her hair and gave her a kiss on the forehead. He remembered about having similar moments with Trudy before. They always ended up sleeping or snuggling the night away on the couch. Finding comfort in a similar act with Natalie, Monk prepared himself for a pleasant and restful night on the couch.