Chapter 5

Three months ago...

"Three sailors dead in two weeks. That's crazy," Tony said.

"Five now," Tim reported grimly as he hung up the phone. "That was the hospital. Two more just died. Same thing. Ecstasy laced with PMA."

"I thought we'd stopped that bunch from getting through."

"Apparently, we did not get all of it," Ziva commented.

"And we're going to fix that," Gibbs said. "With me."

"On your six, Boss!" Tony said, jumping up. Ziva and Tim were right behind. They didn't know where they were going, but if they were going to be stopping this horrible trend of sailors OD-ing on ecstasy, then they were all for whatever it was.

To their surprise, Gibbs led them to Vance's office. Vance was already there, sitting at the table. He gestured for them to sit.

"All right, Director. We're here."

"I can see that, Agent Gibbs," Vance said with a slight smile. "This ecstasy case has got to be solved. I finally made some headway with the bigwigs at Norfolk."

"In what way?" Ziva asked.

"In a way that got some of them admitting that they were aware of the occasional rave happening just off base, attended by most of the sailors."

"Wow. How did you get them to admit that?" Tony asked, impressed in spite of himself.

"I didn't have to do anything. Three sailors are dead."

"It's actually five now, sir," Tim corrected. "As of this morning."

Gibbs looked at Tim. "How did you find that out?"

Tim shrugged. "I just asked the on-duty nurse if she could let me know when there was any change. I said I would be very grateful to be in the loop."

Vance looked slightly smug, although none of the team could figure out why.

"So...five are dead and how does this warrant us being here?" Ziva asked.

"I have permission to run a long-term deep cover operation with the goal of breaking this drug line."

"It won't stop it all, though," Tim said. "As soon as you get rid of one..."

"Another one springs up," Gibbs said. "We know. This one has to be stopped, though, because people are dying."

"We're getting a budget for it?" Tony asked, hopefully.

"Yes," Vance said. "And we'll be doing it for as long as it takes. The MCRT will be running it."

"Excellent! I haven't been undercover in ages," Tony said.

"Not you, Agent DiNozzo."

Tony deflated instantly and glared at Ziva who tried not to look prim.

"Nor Officer David."

"Wait...if it's not me, and it's not Ziva..."

Ziva and Tony looked at Tim whose eyes widened.

"Me? Really? You're not serious."

"You can't be serious...uh...Director Vance," Tony said. "McGee doesn't have experience with undercover work."

"We need someone who is computer savvy, Agent DiNozzo."

"I can use a computer!"

Tim snorted but quickly tried to turn it into a cough when Tony glared at him.

"I know how to use a computer. I may not be a geek like you..."

"That's right, Agent DiNozzo. You're not a geek. We need a geek."

"To get in with drug dealers, though?" Ziva asked. "I am sorry, McGee, but you are not...not one who looks like a drug dealer."

Vance was stern. "Did I give you all the impression that this was up for debate? It's not. Agent McGee is going to be the one undercover. You will serve as his backup and will be doing a lot of the outside investigation. Any questions?" He looked at Ziva and Tony. "Beyond will I change my mind?"

Gibbs answered for them all. "No, Director. We don't have any questions."

"Good. Get started. I want this to be done right. Don't rush it."

They stood up to leave.

"Agent McGee, if you could stay behind for a moment, please."

"Yes, sir." Tim tried to ignore the cold shoulders he got from his teammates.

Vance waited until the door closed; then, he gestured for Tim to sit down again.

"Agent McGee, I realize that I've put you in a difficult situation."

"I'm...I'm happy to get the chance, sir. ...but Tony's right. I don't have any experience. Are you sure you want to risk me screwing up?"

"Will you screw up?"

Tim swallowed. "I hope not, sir. I mean...I'll be doing my best, and..."

Vance shook his head. "Let me make this clear, Agent McGee. I have every confidence in your ability and in your skills. However, I am also going out on a limb a little by choosing you as the undercover operative. I have had to assure the brass at Norfolk that I have picked the best man for the job. I think I have."

Tim straightened. "I won't let you down, sir."

"Good. Get all the advice you can from DiNozzo and David. They do have a lot of experience."

"I will, sir."

"Dismissed."

Tim got up and walked out. He headed down to the bullpen. For whatever reason, Tony and Ziva didn't notice him. Ziva was sitting on Tony's desk and they were speaking in low voices. Tim didn't see Gibbs.

"Hey, guys," Tim said awkwardly.

"Well, going under McCover, are you?" Tony asked. "I guess we can see who is the Director's favorite."

Stung, Tim retorted, "Like you and Ziva were Director Shepard's favorites? Is it any different?"

"At least we're both experienced."

"How am I supposed to get experience if I never have a chance?"

Ziva shook her head. "I think this is a mistake. You should not be doing something so important for your first undercover assignment."

"Technically, it's not my first undercover assignment."

Tony furrowed his brow.

"I was your waiter when you and Ziva went undercover as the assassins, and I went into that club as Thom E. Gemcity."

Tony waved both of those away as if they meant nothing. ...which they might have.

"I mean real undercover work."

Thwack!

Tony rubbed his head.

"The decision has been made, DiNozzo. You're wasting time talking about it."

"Don't you think Vance has made a mistake, Boss?"

Tim looked over at Gibbs. He said nothing...but it was a rather eloquent silence and Tim felt as humiliated as he would have had Gibbs agreed verbally. This was not what he had expected from his first undercover assignment. To be honest, he was worried about his own ability to do it, but he could hardly admit to that now, not with Vance putting his own reputation on the line to get Tim this chance...not with everyone scoffing at his ability to do the job right. He would just have to do it without showing them how much their lack of faith in him hurt.

"I won't mess up," Tim said to them all. "I won't."

"Everyone messes up somewhere," Tony said.

"I won't. I'll do this job right. So..." He took a breath. "So are you guys going to help me out or just spend all your time saying I can't do it?"

Ziva's eyes widened slightly but then she smiled. "Of course we will help."

Tim was about to thank her when she continued.

"You will need all the help you can get."

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

Two weeks later...

"Well?" Tim asked.

"Not bad, Probie," Tony said, looking over the records for Thomas Allen MacKay. "The name is close enough to your own that you shouldn't have too much trouble remembering it."

Ziva nodded. "I am glad you have not made him into a convicted felon. You could not pull that up."

Tim winced inwardly. He hated every time they pointed out something he couldn't do, but he forced a smile. "Off, Ziva. Pull it off."

"Off...up. You still could not do it. This is better."

"So you have the information. Now...who is he?"

"What do you mean?" Tim asked.

"All we have here is stuff on paper. They're not going to be seeing the stuff on paper. They're going to be seeing you."

Ziva stood up and walked over to Tim. "They cannot see you. They must see only Thomas Allen MacKay. If you are seen, they will know who you are and the mission will be a bust. You must be Thomas Allen MacKay."

Tim thought back over everything he had been writing down about Thomas over the past few weeks. He hadn't shown them the drafts he'd gone through, treating Thomas like a character in a book, someone he had to invent. It was harder to graft it over himself. He heard Tony sigh and that touched on the anger they hadn't realized he felt. Thomas felt disdain for the world. Thomas was angry at people like Tony who dismissed him. He wanted to be important and if the law-abiding world wouldn't provide that, then he'd take importance anywhere else. Tim drew on that feeling and nurtured it as he considered.

He took a deep breath and let out the first inklings of Thomas.

"You think I can't do this?" he sneered at Tony, taking a perverse pleasure in watching him start at the change in his voice. "At least I know how to turn a computer on." He laughed derisively. "That's why I got this assignment and you didn't."

Tony looked insulted and Ziva had drawn back just a bit. Tim breathed in again and let Thomas go.

"Something like that?" he asked tentatively.

They were both surprised. He could see it. They had no idea that he could do something like that. True, he hadn't been sure himself, but he hated seeing every moment that they doubted what he could do.

"Yeah...like that, Probie," Tony said, looking at him with a strange expression.

"Tell me more about yourself...Thomas," Ziva said, settling on the edge of Abby's lab table.

"More?"

"You will have to be Thomas all the time. You should get used to being able to put him on and take him off. Be ready to have him always with you."

Tim nodded and gathered all the feelings that made Thomas who he was.

"I'm smart," he said, but he made into more than a statement. "People never can accept that a smart guy might be aware of what's going on around him. That's why I'm always underestimated. Like you," Tim said, struggling to keep the persona solid with Tony and Ziva giving him those strange looks. "You think that I can't get what I want...when I want it? I always get what I want. ...because I'm smart enough to be patient. I'm smart enough to plan and to always be a few steps ahead of the people I'm working for."

"You will make a mistake somewhere, Thomas. No one is right all the time," Ziva said.

Thomas grinned. It was a slow, feral grin. One that took in every inch of Ziva as he spoke, changing his stance to accommodate the different feeling he had. The suavity that covered his anger.

"No. That's true, but you can't win if you don't take risks. I can take risks. I'll usually win. When I don't...I'll either come out better for it or it's game over. Either way...it's better than what I'd have otherwise."

A strange sensation began in Tim's gut and he exhaled quickly, letting Thomas go.

"Hey! Why did you stop?" Tony asked.

"Sorry. It felt..." Tim censored the word he'd been about to say. "...weird."

"You can't pull out like that unless you're absolutely certain you're alone," Tony said. Then, he grinned. "I think I like Thomas. Sounds like a cool guy."

"Thanks, Tony," Tim said, uncertain whether he should feel insulted or complimented by the fact that Tony liked his alter ego.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

Two weeks later...

"Here we go, Probie," Tony said gleefully in Tim's ear. "Your first real foray as Thomas. Can you handle it?"

"Maybe if you would shut up," Tim said. He had hoped that the teasing would ebb as the operation got more and more settled, but it hadn't. Tony and Ziva (mostly Tony) keep poking at him. He was tense right now, going in to get settled in his apartment in this rundown building.

"Do not listen to Tony," Ziva murmured. "You will be fine...Thomas."

"Thanks, Ziva."

"Get going, McGee!"

"Yes, Boss."

Tim took a breath and headed into the building.

"Hey, you the manager?" he asked.

"Not so polite, Probie!"

The epithet gave him a moment's pause. He wished that Tony would stop that.

"That's me."

"I'm here about that apartment. I called you yesterday."

"Oh. Right. You wanna see the place?"

Tim rolled his eyes. "Yeah...that's kinda why I'm here."

Unfazed, the manager stood up, grabbed a ring of keys and walked by Tim to the stairs.

"It is too forced, McGee. You must relax and be Thomas!"

Tim swallowed and followed the manager up the stairs. When they got to the advertised apartment, Tim forced himself to look around it without much expression. It was junky. It was dirty. It was someplace Tim wouldn't live in a million years.

Thomas would live anywhere if it fueled his ultimate goals.

"How much?"

Tim was lucky he could even remember what they ended up agreeing on. He spent so much time trying to ignore Tony and Ziva giving him advice in his ear and so much more time making sure he could maintain his cover that very little attention was given to the manager. In the end, he signed a contract, remembering at the last minute to sign it as Thomas Allen MacKay. Then, he made arrangments to get the keys and pay his first month's rent. When he got back to their home base, he was boiling mad.

"Don't...don't ever do that to me again," Tim said, struggling to be calm.

"Do what?"

"I have you guys in my ear talking nonstop, calling me McGee and Probie and how in the world do you expect me to do my job if you can't keep your mouths shut long enough to let me do my job?" Tim was angry enough that he almost said what he was really thinking...that they wanted him to fail...so that they'd be right.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

Three days later...

"Hey, Abbs," Tim said, down in the lab for the last time.

"Tim! I'm so worried about you! I won't be able to see you for ages!"

"You'll get to play with Jethro more," Tim said smiling.

"Well...there is that." She grinned but then she hugged him tightly. "Just be careful, Tim. I have a feeling that this will be dangerous for you."

"I don't need you second-guessing me too, Abby."

"I'm not! I just want you to be careful and then come back."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm positive! I've seen all the details of your identity. You'll be great...just don't turn into him. I don't think he sounds very nice."

Tim pulled back. "I think you're the only one who feels that way."

"He's different from you, Tim...but I think it's better that he is. Be safe."

"I will." Tim kissed her on the cheek and left.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

His last night being able to maintain himself as Timothy McGee was spent alone in his apartment. At around midnight, he headed into the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror. He'd lost a lot of weight for this, giving himself a slightly unhealthy look. His hair was cut short and spiky with blonde highlights on the ends. Tim practiced Thomas' sneer and was surprised that it had become so easy. He didn't like how it changed his face.

How could Tony and Ziva think that Thomas was so strong when Tim had intentionally exaggerated things he didn't like about himself to create the character? He'd exaggerated his own weaknesses. Thomas felt unappreciated. He was arrogant. He thought he was God's gift to women. Most importantly, he had a deep-rooted anger at everyone and everything in the world. The world was out to get him; so he felt it only right that he return the favor. He hated them all.

...and they liked it. He hadn't gone into the details of why Thomas did what he did. They saw only how he reacted to various things, but how could they like that kind of person?

One last deep breath. Tim would never admit this to anyone else, but he was frightened of doing this. It scared him. Becoming someone he hated...it was a scary prospect...but he couldn't let any of them know. They could never know how he felt because they didn't think he could do it anyway. Too much was riding on it.

"Off we go," he whispered.

Wherever he went now, there would be two people riding along: Thomas Allen MacKay and Timothy McGee. No matter how much or how little he liked the idea, he was in it now, and there was no backing out.