Disclaimer: I checked my bank account and I still don't own anything Bones hohum.
Sorry to all of you about the delay in updating. I'm sure you probably don't care but I feel it necessary to say I have had several magic performances and a lecture to prepare and it has cut into my free time so it took this long for Kitty to engage in something worth posting (she is getting really pushy lately even made me upload her picture as my avatar).
To all my readers thanks you for all your support, and my dear Reviewing Peeps you all rock! Your reviews warm my cold body and encourage my stiff fingers in the long dark hours of the night or during the long stretch of losing games the Flyers seem to be going through!
Chapter 21 I Need You Now
She was sitting on the floor with pictures of him scattered in front of her. Some were of just him, some of them and some with him and Parker. Bringing the Jack Daniels bottle to her lips she took yet another swig and shuddered. She had been sitting here since she had gotten home and was almost all the way through the fifth she had at home and still it hadn't dulled her pain. She looked at her phone sitting on her coffee table and reached for it. Opening it she almost pushed his number. The one she had set as her number one pre-set, but closed it without calling.
He was sitting on his couch looking at the Flyers game. He had been looking forward to but now was not seeing anything and not caring if they won or not. He had finished all his beer, his half open bottle of Jack and had started on the unopened bottle of Jack not bothering with a glass. All he wanted was to get drunk and forget these last few days had ever happened. He knew whishing she would come over; especially given the lateness of the hour was ridiculous. If only they hadn't had to work another case together again. He knew she never thought of him, had never thought of him since the last time they had seen each other. Why should she, she was rich and famous and had gone off to the wonderful world of Hollywood. She had only come back to work with him because Wendell was stuck and had called her and begged. He saw his phone and reached for it, opening it and pressing the #1 preset. As soon as he heard her "hello" he hung up. What had he been thinking of?
She had jumped when her phone rang "hello?" The caller disconnected. She fumbled with her menu and finally found the caller's number and recalled it. As soon as she heard his "hello" she hung up.
He had answered his phone and even though he was drunk he noticed she had called him back. "Hello?" She had hung up but she had called. Did that mean she was thinking of him? He hit redial and her phone was answered on the third ring.
"Hello?"
He could hear that her voice was slightly slurred, so maybe she had been drinking too. Maybe that was what it took for them to talk. "Bones, its Booth don't hang up I need to talk to you."
"Go ahead Booth I'm listening." Her voice was low and uncertain.
His voice was only slightly slurred and his courage was recklessly fueled by the alcohol. "Look I know it's late and maybe it was seeing you maybe it's the liquor but I know I said I wouldn't call… but after seeing you today I've lost all control and I need you. I just don't know how I can ever do without you I just plain need you now. I love you" He waited for a response and when one didn't come he began to lose heart. He knew all was lost when he heard her close her phone and disconnect his call. Well now at least he had his answer the hurt was never going away but at least as soon as this case was finished he wouldn't have to face her every day. He finished the rest of the bottle in one long swallow.
He became semiconscious to the pounding on his door. Deciding he was too drunk to walk to the door or even care he just rolled over, that is until he heard her voice.
"Booth open the door please?"
Trying hard to stand and failing miserably he crawled to the door thinking as he went he didn't care how she saw him it didn't matter anymore, in fact nothing mattered anymore. He was able to reach up and open the door falling away to the side allowing her to push it open enough to get in.
"Oh Booth" she cried as she saw him on the floor. She got down on the floor and tried to gather him to her. But he fought her and hard.
"Awaysh get awash fromme" he slurred swinging his arms in the air weakly.
"Oh Booth come here baby I need to tell you something." She finally managed to gather him to her and stop his thrashing. "I have tried for so long to do without you too but nothing worked. I don't know how to live without you either. I love you."
He looked up at her with eyes out of focus and a silly grin on his face. "Shoo do? Mmmm goooo" and he fell forward landing face forward in her lap.
She wiggled back toward the wall pulling him with her doing her best to make both of them comfortable until he woke. They were both going to be in pain when they woke but love conquers all.
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When he first became aware he was still alive he tried to determine where he was. He could determine he was laying on the floor on something but it took more energy than he had to determine what it was. His head felt like it was going to explode and his stomach was going to turn its self inside out. He needed to get to his bathroom now or clean up the mess afterward and he knew that was not something he could do. He staggered up and down the hall with only one thing on his mind and made it just in time.
She woke as soon as she felt him get up. She watched him go down the hall to the bathroom making sure he made it the entire way. While she didn't feel all that well herself she knew she was in better shape than he was. She made them some coffee and gathered a couple of bottles of water he had in his refrigerator and walked down the hall to him.
It had been a long time since he had prayed to the porcelain god and it sucked. Every time his stomach emptied he promised himself he wouldn't drink like this ever again. But even then he knew he was lying to himself. He knew for quite a while every time he thought of her it would take a lot of Jack to get rid of the picture. When he heard her voice he thought it was his imagination and he vomited again… "please Bones get the fuck out of my head I can't fucking take any more," and he finally gave into his tears… violently.
"Booth?" She watched as he vomited again not sure what to do. It was his tears that finally broke through to her. "Oh Booth," she rushed over to him and pulled him into her tightly. "Hush, don't please don't it's me. I'm not in your mind I'm really here." She rocked both of them back and forth in an effort to stop his crying.
Suddenly he pulled away and was violently sick again. Afterward he fell back limply into her waiting arms. This cycle was repeated more times than either wanted to remember. She was afraid he would die and he was afraid he wouldn't. Finally he was able to weakly stand and make it to his bed with her help. When she tried to leave he grabbed her hand. "Bones!"
"Hush Booth, I'll be right back, I just want to get you some water and aspirin. I'll be right back I promise."
He fell back limply and waited for her return. Once back she handed him the aspirin and the water. He finished off both bottles of water before he looked at her. "Sorry" he mumbled and he turned away from her toward the wall. It wasn't just that he didn't want her to see him, he couldn't stand to see her.
"No Booth" she said as she slid into bed behind him and wrapped her arm over his waist. "I think somehow there is enough blame enough sorry's to go around and perhaps we should stop." She took a deep breath and made her decision. She would go all in as Booth often said. Either he loved her as a woman in every sense of the word or he still loved her in his at-a-girl way. But one way or another she would know and know right now. "Booth I can only take the blame for what I have failed to tell you." As he started to turn and talk she interrupted him. She allowed him to turn in her arms but placed her fingers tips over his lips. "No Booth let me finish then it can be your turn. I have never told you how much I love you; I have always felt I was not worth being loved by anyone let alone someone as good as you are. You deserve the perfect wife, someone who is not so socially pathetic. As I my feelings for you grew I knew there was no way I could keep them from you, so when I was offered the position of being the consultant for the TV show they are doing based on my first book I took it. It would force you to have another partner and give me some time to try and compartmentalize my feelings. However, last night I was sitting on my floor surrounded by pictures of you, drinking my fair share of Jack," she smiled just then. "When you called I had to think about what you said, and realized I am never going to be able to compartmentalize what I feel for you. I love you and I need you too." She removed her fingers from his lips and waited for him to speak. She was holding her breath figuratively knowing the next words out of his mouth would either make her or break her forever.
His mind was frozen on one word. WIFE she had said wife he deserved a wife. Did that mean SHE wanted to be his wife or that he needed to find someone else who would be? "Bones I won't pretend I didn't have too much to drink nor that I remember what I said because I did drink way more than I should and I don't remember what I said. But I will tell you this I love you; I need you and only you. Not some person you think I should marry because she is socially adept. I love everything about you and that means absolutely everything. When we marry it will happen just like this. It will be an inevitability, it may be next week or 20 years from now but it will be inevitable. Because loving you and us being together is a need burning so deep inside there is nothing that will ever extinguish the flame."
She leaned over and kissed him and felt him shudder. "Is kissing me that bad Booth" she laughed?
"No" he groaned "it just hurts to move any cell in my body."
Remembering something she had heard in college she had an idea. Reaching for the hem of his t-shirt she began slowly sliding it up his chest licking and dropping tiny kisses on each inch of skin reveled.
"Oww Bones please I can't…"
She lay a hand on his chest and gently rolled him on his back. "I know and this is a treatment for a hangover I heard about in college. I think we should see if it works. So you just lay back and enjoy your treatment. If it works then you can treat me the next time," she smirked at him.
"OOOoooohhhhh baby you're gonna be the death of me…" he sighed when she began to repeat the same licks and kisses as she removed his track pants.
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This chapter was inspired by "Need You Now" Lady Antebellum
I do hope you enjoyed this drunken Booth. If you leave a review I have extra Booth's to offer. I have managed to amass more than I need to make a hockey team and they are all fighting for a place to play. The contusions are marring their beautiful skin so I am in need of finding new homes for some. If you are interested, and have Booth's of your own, let me know maybe we can have a pick-up hockey game. Anything to keep the boys happy and occupied.
Nyre
