Chapter 9

And so Tim disappeared off their screens for the next two months. He made occasional reports which were as thorough as they were disappointing. He made no attempt to contact them in between reports. Each time he reported, he seemed eager to sign off again and get away from them. He gave no indication that he was having trouble, no sign that he was holding anything about the job back from them. In fact, after the first month, he started reporting on gathered evidence. Information about the men involved, the extensive nature of the operations.

There had been only one moment of humanity in their interactions, one time when Tim had sounded slightly uncertain...almost worried. That came in the first report he'd made after the first week of working for the drug ring.

"Boss?"

"Yeah, McGee?" Gibbs was surprised because of the lack of antagonism in Tim's tone.

"How far do I go?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that in order to get in I'm going to have to do what they're hiring me to do...move illegal drugs around. If the shipments get intercepted, they'll suspect me and I'll...well, I'll probably be killed, but the operation will be a total bust even if I don't. So...how far do I go?"

"For now, McGee, you have to act like their employee. That means doing your best to help them move their product."

"When do I stop?"

"When we have enough evidence to break them completely."

A long pause.

"Okay."

There was dead air. Tim had hung up without any further conversation.

Gibbs was left feeling both worried and relieved by their talk, brief as it had been.

But the work continued, and the fact that there had been no reason to insist on closer observation meant that their initial worries about Tim's behavior began to fade as two months became three...and then four. They were ready to turn over their gathered evidence and make arrests, but Tim made one more report that made them hold off.

"I think they're planning something big."

"How big?"

"A massive shipment coming in for distribution and processing. I'm not sure when. They're keeping pretty quiet about it."

"Then, how do you know about it, Probie?"

"Because I'm paying attention, Tony," Tim said heatedly. "What do you think? I'm pushing drugs because I like it?"

That was the first time Tim had even intimated that he had a problem with what he was doing, the first time since he'd had to romance Jewel.

"Hey, sorry, McGee."

"No, you're not. You never are." Tim brushed it away and focused on Gibbs. "What do you think, Boss? Do you want to take them down now or wait and intercept this shipment? If we do take them down, the drugs will disappear. Someone else will use them."

They all thought about it. On the one hand, they wanted this operation to be over. They hadn't seen Tim up close in a while and he wasn't looking good. There was disdain in his expression almost constantly. The strange thing was, however, that he was still doing just what he should be doing. He was passing along the information. Any doubts they had that he might be falsifying it were laid to rest when they checked through everything he gave them.

...and yet...

"Can you get a date for its arrival?"

"Not yet," Tim admitted, "but they're going to need me to move it, probably to get it here. This isn't just ecstasy anymore. Remember how she mentioned that their operation was bigger than I thought it was? This might be what she meant. If it is..."

"Then, we have to stop them," Ziva said. "We have no other option. Others have died from taking these drugs, not just because of overdose. I do not understand why they are using such dangerous materials to cut their drugs."

"It's not all of the shipments," Tim said quietly. "The most dangerous cuts are the ones sent around Norfolk. The higher quality stuff is sold in the clubs that they run. I think they're trying to get rid of the competition locally so that they can expand."

"How long have you known this, McGee?" Ziva asked, appalled.

"Weeks."

"Why didn't you say anything, Probie?"

"You didn't ask."

"We didn't ask?" Gibbs repeated. "You're our inside man, McGee. We shouldn't have to ask you for every piece of important information. That's the kind of thing we need to know."

"You know it now." Tim's expression changed...just briefly...but before they could discern what it was, it was gone, and the disdain was back.

"If we had known it before we could have warned people," Ziva said.

"And then they'd know that someone on the inside was putting out information...and it would take them about two seconds to figure out it was me. Look, I know it sucks, but unless you want to end it now, it can't change." He looked around at them all. "So...what do you want me to do? I'm not going to go back in there if you're going to start undermining what I'm doing. I put my life on the line every day...but I'd like to know if you really don't care about that."

"That's not what we're saying, Probie."

"It is. If you think for a minute that they won't suspect me, then you probably shouldn't be my backup."

"I'll run it past Vance, McGee," Gibbs said finally. "We'll let you know."

"Fine. I've got to go." He stood up and walked out...never looking back, no good-bye.

"I do not like what this is doing to him, Gibbs," Ziva said. "The sooner we are finished, the better."

"Yeah, I think being a drug dealer isn't good for his health. I mean, it's nice that he's finally showing backbone, but there's such a thing as too much of a good thing."

Gibbs nodded. "But he's right. If this shipment is genuine, we need to get it."

And so Tim went back in. Gibbs spoke with Vance and got his agreement to extend the operation until the shipment of drugs came in. They began to set up the takedown. When and where. It took another two weeks before Tim could tell them anything about it for sure.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

He was running through the darkness. He couldn't tell what was chasing him, but he was afraid. It spurred him to run faster. Then, he felt a hand on his arm. It was a touch at first but it sent chills down his spine. He tried to get away, but the touch became a grip, a solid grasp that began to hurt him. He was afraid. Then, the hand turned him around and he got a look at the face of the person pursuing him.

"No..." he whispered and opened his eyes.

"Mac?"

Thomas blinked a few times in the darkness and then looked over.

"Hey...Jewel."

"Wow. What was that?" she asked.

"Just a dream."

"You all right? You fell asleep right after you were done having your way with me," she said, smiling a little. "I was beginning to think you were tired of me after all."

Thomas pushed the feeling of terror away and grafted a smile on his face.

"Not at all. How about you?"

"Nope. Maybe you've made a monogamist out of me."

Thomas laughed. "I doubt that. I don't think anyone could do that to you."

Jewel laughed in response. "No, you're probably right. I'll be free until I die."

"So...tell me. How does someone like you get involved with running drugs?"

Jewel grinned. "How does someone like you get involved?"

"I asked first."

"Well, it's not exciting. I just decided that I wasn't going to let my parents tell me what to do anymore. I moved out...but I didn't want to go to college. I wasn't willing to become a prostitute."

Thomas snorted and Jewel slugged him in reply.

"Hey! My story! Sex is supposed to be fun, not a job. So I didn't want to do that. I have as much or as little as I feel like having. Selling drugs pays the bills...and it gives me a great place to party...and free stuff when I want it."

"Works for me."

Thomas leaned in and kissed Jewel, nuzzling her neck until she giggled and pulled away.

"Okay, okay. You're not going to distract me. What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Come on, Mac. I've watched you at work. You're amazing. I've never seen anyone work so fast or...well...you change when you're at the computer."

Thomas raised an eyebrow. "Change?"

"Yeah. I've noticed."

"So...you've been watching me?" he asked, sliding closer.

But Jewel wasn't being put off. "I mean it. You are only thinking about the program or whatever and your face changes. I'm probably the only one who's noticed it, though. You're the best computer guy I've ever known...in more ways than one. So...since you're obviously really smart, why are you running drugs?"

Thomas leaned back, staring up at the ceiling. He was glad they were alone tonight.

"Because... I got tired of people trying to pigeonhole me into what I was supposed to be. I knew what I could do...and it was a lot more than they thought I could. They wouldn't listen when I told them I was qualified, that I deserved to be there. They wanted me to be satisfied with the life they said I could handle. It was like I had no say. Well, I know myself better than they do and I know that I can do whatever I want...if I want to. If not...then too bad. I could have made more money probably in more legitimate arenas, but I wouldn't have been free. I would have been catering to someone else. I don't do that. It's my life and if I can't be appreciated for what I can do, then I'll go where I am." The bitterness ran deep...like a poison. "Running drugs? I have a reputation for being good at my job...among the people who matter. I don't want to have big public awards, just appreciation for my skills, and trust that I can use them. I get that here."

Jewel was quiet, and deciding that they'd talked enough, he pulled her over so that she straddled his chest.

"Besides, it means I get my own personal jewel."

Jewel laughed. "What kind am I today?"

"A ruby. Why do you dye your hair so much? It'll all fall out one day."

"Who cares? It's fun."

A sudden, foreign wave of regret washed over him and Thomas pulled Jewel close.

"Let's just lay here tonight, Jewel."

"What?"

"We don't have to do exciting things every night."

"But it's more fun."

"It's also fun to appreciate the quiet moments when they're possible. They are right now. Who knows when they'll come around again?"

"But just sleeping together?"

"Just one night, Jewel."

Jewel sighed but then smiled. "All right. Just this once." She settled in beside him and he pulled the blanket over them both. "You do make a nice body pillow, Mac."

"I aim to please."

That one night...and only that night, they slept. ...and Jewel kept the nightmares away, helped him sleep as he couldn't in his apartment.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

Two days later, Tim found out the date of the shipment. He forwarded it to the team and they began to plan out the takedown.

Two more weeks. Two more weeks as Thomas...and then normal life could go on.

...right?