Her mouth was dry when she opened her eyes to the sound of laughter drifting through the thin walls and the open window. Her head was pounding, the inevitable hangover making its appearance with a raging vengeance. Every inch of her body was aching from the feeling of emptiness inside. The small digital clock that sat on top of the dresser changed to six o'clock and she knew then that'd she'd slept away most of the day.

"Fuck," she groaned under her breath as she pulled back the covers, remembering everything that had transpired between her and Buffy before she'd passed out.

"Faith, are you alive in there?" Buffy asked, chuckling softly under her breath as she opened the door slowly. "Good, I was hoping you'd be awake."

"Barely."

"I've got food," Buffy said as she held up a brown paper bag. "Giles thought you'd be hungry."

"Thanks," Faith muttered under her breath as she sat up slowly on the bed and rubbed her throbbing temples. "There a party going on in the room next door or something?"

"Everyone is leaving in the morning, so we decided to have a little party," Buffy shrugged as she placed the bag on the bed next to Faith. "After tonight you'll have the room to yourself."

"Great."

Faith rolled her eyes as Buffy stood there for a moment and just stared down at her. She knew she had to have been a sight to see and she knew it wasn't pretty, especially not after a night of heavy drinking. She ran her fingers through her tangled hair before grabbing the bag of food Buffy had brought for her. Breakfast sandwiches—four of them—and a few juice boxes. She chuckled softly as she moved to lean against the headboard. It wasn't until she'd taken a bite of the first sandwich, the rather cold and slightly soggy state telling her they were leftovers from that morning, that she realized Buffy had been staring at her the whole time she'd been standing there.

"What?" She asked with a mouthful of food. "Was there something else you wanted to say to me?"

"No, I uh," Buffy stammered, suddenly looking rather uncomfortable. "I'll just leave you alone. There's aspirin in the bathroom if you need it."

Faith just watched her as she walked out of the room, leaving the door open just a crack. Faith rolled her eyes and ate the rest of the food before she slipped off the bed and picked up one of her boots and threw it at the door to close it. She needed a shower and clean clothes. She stripped out of her clothes before she even reached the bathroom and filled the sink with warm water. She'd spent who knows how many years living in motels and washing her clothes in the sink and this was no different aside from the fact she'd be lounging on the bed in only a towel for a couple of hours.

She washed her clothes as quickly as she could, wrapping a towel around her before she wrung them out in the tub and hung them on the hook on the back of the door. She could still hear the sounds of the others even after she turned on the taps and stepped under the hot spray of water.

Hearing the others having a great time, laughing and just letting loose, it made her feel even more empty and alone inside. She'd never been a part of their inner circle, not even in the beginning. She wondered if that would change even now, or if she'd forever just be the 'other' Slayer, the bad Slayer. She was doing everything she could to change. It wouldn't happen overnight, she knew that, but she was already beginning to feel the changes she was going through now. She just wondered if anyone else could see them, or if they even cared to notice.

Robin had never known what she'd been like before, yet after they'd fucked he just held her and they talked, two things she had never done with anyone else before. She didn't necessarily feel comfortable lying there with him while he was trying to get her to open up about herself, but she had felt safe around him, again for reasons she'd never know. It scared her to think she'd never find anyone else willing to be with someone like her and willing to give someone like her a chance. She knew why he had been willing to be with her, even that first night. He didn't know her the way the others did and she knew that if he did know her that way, he wouldn't have said or done the things he did.

Trying to get those thoughts out of her head, she grabbed the bland smelling shampoo and quickly washed her hair. There was music now being played in the room next door, masking the voices so she could no longer hear what was being said. She turned off the water and grabbed the towel, wrapping it around herself as she stepped out of the tub. It felt good to feel clean, her body felt more relaxed even with the pounding headache wreaking havoc almost beyond what was bearable. She just grabbed her wet clothes off the hook and hung them over the shower curtain rod. Even over the music she heard the soft knock on the door and she made sure her towel was wrapped securely around her before she walked out of the bathroom and opened the door.

"Oh, uh..." Willow looked at her for a moment, stumbling over her words. "We went out shopping today and Kennedy grabbed you some clothes. Buffy forgot to bring them for you when she brought you the food before."

"Uh, thanks?" Faith shrugged as she took the offered white plastic bag that Willow suddenly thrust out in front of her.

"It's not much, but..."

"Appreciate it."

"You can...come over and join us," Willow said as she motioned to the room next door. "Xander went and bought some beer. We're all just going to relax and have fun tonight before the others leave in the morning."

Faith shrugged as she stepped away from the door a little so she could close it, but before she did she told Willow she'd come by in a bit, getting a friendly smile from Willow before the door swung shut. They had talked on the ride from LA to Sunnydale, mostly about the fight against the First. Faith had apologized to her and Willow had told her there was no need to apologize since what was in the past was in the past. It felt too easy to be forgiven just like that, but Willow had assured her that it was time to move on from that part of their history and she had assured her that if she gave Buffy time, that Buffy would forgive her as well.

She dumped the clothes out on the bed and went through them. Two pairs of jeans, both of which looked to be about a size too big for her, and two black tank tops. She grinned at the fact that Kennedy, despite not really knowing her, apparently knew her clothing preferences. There were a few other things in the bag—a hairbrush, deodorant, a toothbrush, and some toothpaste. All things they'd left behind that were essential to have, but things that she'd gone without at certain times in her life when she had no money. She ripped the tags off the clothes and pulled on the darker pair of jeans and one of the tank tops.

"Not bad," she mused as she walked into the bathroom to check herself out. The jeans were a little too big and she grabbed her belt and slipped it through the loops.

After she dried her hair as much as she could with the towel, she grabbed her boots and pulled them on. The music coming from next door was playing a little louder now and she knew from the sounds of the laughter she heard over it they were having plenty of fun. She grabbed her pack of cigarettes and her lighter, slipping them into her back pocket as she walked out of the room and headed next door. She needed to relax and even though she hardly felt like any serious drinking after the amount of alcohol she'd consumed the night before, she still could use a couple of beers.

"Hey," Xander said with a smile as he nearly ran into her outside of the room. "Beer is chilling in the ice in the tub, help yourself."

"Are you going somewhere?"

"I was actually coming to see if you were coming to join us," he replied with a soft laugh. "We could all use a night of fun, don't you think?"

"Hell yeah," she grinned as they both walked inside the room.

She suddenly felt out of place as she made her way through the crowded room and into the bathroom to grab herself a beer. She then made her way back outside, the room too crowded and too hot for her to stay inside. A few others were standing around outside the room, talking quietly among themselves. Kennedy came out a minute later, clearly already feeling tipsy by the way she stumbled down the steps.

"Glad the clothes fit," she said as she twisted off the cap from her beer. "And you're welcome."

Faith chuckled as they both leaned against the wall. "Appreciate you thinking of me."

"Nobody else did," Kennedy replied. "Hardly seemed fair that nobody else seemed to care if you had what you needed too."

"Doesn't surprise me."

"How are you feeling today? I heard you kind of...took Robin's death a little hard," Kennedy said softly, studying her and waiting for a reaction. Any reaction. Faith just shrugged and blankly stared down at the beer in front of her. "Well, I just want you to know you got a friend in me if you ever need one."

"Thanks."

The words barely made it past her lips before she took a few sips of her beer. The night was warm and the sun hadn't begun to set yet. She felt peaceful there in the small town and it made her nervous. She wasn't used to the peacefulness she was feeling surrounding her. She was used to feeling evil crawling around in the shadows, lurking, waiting for that right moment to come out.

"Feels weird, doesn't it?"

"What does?" Faith asked as she looked over at Kennedy.

"This town."

"Are you reading my mind or something?"

"Not intentionally," Kennedy replied. "I've just had this feeling since we got here that something isn't right about this place. It's too...quiet."

"Used to the buzz of a city, huh?"

"Something like that. But ever since I became a Slayer, I don't know, I felt it and now I don't anymore, you know what I mean?"

"Definitely do."

"So, I hear you're coming with us to Cleveland," Kennedy said with a smile as she raised her beer to Faith's. "Should be fun, don't you think?"

"Fun, right," Faith laughed dryly. "Ain't nothing fun about living on a Hellmouth."

"No," Kenned replied as she shook her head and took a swig of her beer. "I meant it should be fun having you around. I mean, I have Will, Xander is a decent guy, Andrew is pretty fucking annoying, and Buffy..."

"Is wound a little too fucking tight?" Faith offered, smirking at the look a surprise in Kennedy's eyes. "Yeah, surprised me too. You'd think she'd have learned to live a little by now and find the fun."

"You'd think."

Faith chuckled as she pulled out her pack of cigarettes and offered one to Kennedy. She just shrugged and took one, leaning close to the flame of the lighter Faith held out to her after lighting her own. Faith had no idea what to talk to Kennedy about. She wasn't so good at the whole getting to know someone else part and she was starting to think that maybe Kennedy knew that about her and yet, for some reason, was giving her a chance. A chance laced with a lot of patience and heavy periods of silence between them.

"You and Buffy have a pretty heavy history, don't you?" Kennedy asked after a while.

"Sure do."

"I've heard some stories, you know, about what you were like before."

"Not like that anymore," Faith replied flatly.

"I know. That's what I've been told."

"By who?"

"Willow."

Faith sighed out in relief. She'd heard of Andrew telling stories about her, about her and Buffy's past. She knew him as well as the others by now and when it came to him and stories, she knew he stretched the truth a little too far. Willow had been the first of all of them to give her that second chance. Xander seemed to be getting there, Giles as well. Buffy was harder to read, harder to figure out, but they hadn't come to blows. Yet. She hadn't spoken to Dawn too much. She didn't blame Dawn for staying away from her as much as she could, though, and it still freaked her out knowing just how Dawn came to be and that any memories she had of Dawn weren't even real. Willow had explained enough to her on that drive from LA to Sunnydale so that she knew what had been going on there for the last couple of years.

She flicked her cigarette to the ground and headed back inside. Most of the younger girls had gone off to another room, Dawn tagging along with them, so she took a seat at the small table near the window where Giles, Andrew, and Xander were sitting playing poker. She joined in on the game, trying to relax, trying to forget all that had happened in the last day. Every once in a while her eyes would drift over to where Buffy sat on the only bed in the room next to Willow. They were talking quietly, occasionally laughing at whatever they were talking about, and every once in a while Buffy would look over at her and quickly look away, never letting her eyes linger for too long.

Kennedy joined them at the table, grinning as she placed a bottle of vodka down on the table. Faith could only laugh at the look on Giles' face. He had already had a few beers and even though he hadn't had as much as everyone else had, she knew he was feeling more than just a little tipsy. He ended up calling it an early night, ushering Vi and Rona out with him and warning them all not to let the younger girls have anything more to drink.

"You game?" Kennedy asked Faith, drawing her attention and snapping her out of the daze she'd suddenly found herself in. "You want to do a round of shots with us?"

"Fuck yeah," Faith grinned as she downed the last of her beer.

Xander grabbed some plastic cups and lined up four of them on the table. Andrew looked a little intimidated at the prospect of adding hard alcohol to the few beers he'd already had. He muttered his goodnight before he stumbled out of the room, nearly crashing into the door before he could open it. Both Kennedy and Faith only laughed as they cleared the table of the cards and the poker chips.

"You two gonna join us?" Faith asked as she looked over at Buffy and Willow.

"No," Buffy replied coldly as she turned back to Willow and they continued with their conversation.

"Whatever," Faith said under her breath. She had to remind herself that she should have known Buffy wouldn't want to join them. "Come on, Kenny. Pour the shots already."

One by one, they downed shot after shot and between the three of them, half the bottle was gone in no time. Their laughter over nothing in particular filled the room and neither of them could even look at each other without bursting into another fit of hysterics. Faith had to get some air and she grabbed a beer from the tub and headed outside. The warm night air sobered her up, just a little, as she leaned against the wall and lit a cigarette. She'd only been outside for a couple minutes before she heard the sounds of Willow and Buffy asking to join in on the shots.

"Figures," she muttered under her breath as she took a long drag of her cigarette.

"Figures what?" Xander asked as he stood in the doorway. "Better hurry up and get back inside, the bottle is almost empty."

"I'm good," she said as she waved him off. "You guys finish it off. I'm gonna go for a walk and clear my head a little bit."

"Would you mind stopping at the pizza place?" Xander asked as he fished out a couple bills from his pocket. "Or I could just come with you and we'll grab a couple pizzas on the way back?"

"Whatever, doesn't matter to me."

Xander told the others he was heading out for a bit and joined Faith outside. She finished her beer quickly and placed the empty bottle on the windowsill before the two of them began to walk across the motel parking lot.

"Figures what?" Xander asked he glanced over at her.

"Figures as soon as I'm not right there that Buffy and Willow decide to join in on the fun."

"Oh. I wouldn't worry about it," he laughed as he put his arm casually over her shoulders. "You know how Buffy gets sometimes."

"Yeah," she shrugged as they headed for the pizza place just down the road. "Whatever, man, it's not like it matters. I don't even know why I care."

"You're afraid you aren't gonna fit in with us, aren't you?"

"Did I say that?" Faith snapped as she pushed his arm from around her shoulders. "I didn't fucking say that."

The alcohol was making her mood shift horribly; she reached into her pocket for her cigarettes and quickly lit one. Xander only sighed as they kept walking slowly down the street. She stayed outside when they reached the small pizza place. It was nearly empty and the town was quiet just as it had been the night before. She didn't like it here. She was growing too tense without anything remotely interesting going on. She needed action. She needed a place to go dance and work off the mounting frustration she was feeling. She was starting to wonder if she'd made the right choice in sticking with them instead of going off to do her own thing.

It wasn't just the alcohol that had made her mood shift to where it was now. She was still trying to deal with Robin's death and still trying to figure out why it was affecting her so badly. It wasn't as if she loved the guy, nor did she feel any strong feelings for him. She did feel something, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it. She cursed herself under her breath for going back to thinking about it when all she wanted to do was forget for a little while.

"Ready to head back?" Xander asked as he walked out of the pizza place with four boxes stacked in his hands.

"Why not?" She shrugged as she took two of the boxes and they headed back to the motel. "Sorry for snapping at you before."

"It's fine. I get it," Xander said with a smile. "It's kind of weird though, isn't it? Just hanging out like old times only...we never really hung out before."

Faith laughed a little at that, feeling a talk from Xander coming that she really didn't want to hear. She wanted to be able to talk to him, to any of them, without the alcohol having loosened their tongues. She had to admit it was a little weird just hanging out with him as if it was something they'd always done.

"It is weird," Faith finally said and she heard Xander chuckle softly next to her. "This whole night has been weird. Keep wondering why the hell you guys even want me around."

"Second chances," he shrugged. "We all deserve a second chance and I think you do too. We just went through the biggest fight of our lives together and you fought with us, standing by Buffy's side without a second thought. Besides—though I can only speak for myself when I say this—I'm looking at the fall of Sunnydale as a chance to start over."

"Yeah, I'm looking at it like that too. Wouldn't hurt to be able to have that second chance and start over again."

"Sometimes we all need that," Xander said quietly and Faith just nodded in agreement.

They walked the rest of the way back in silence. They were halfway across the motel parking lot when she began to hear the sounds of Buffy, Willow, and Kennedy laughing in the room. Whatever they'd been laughing about they didn't look as if they were about to share when Faith and Xander walked into the room. Faith spotted the empty bottle and saw the glassy look in Buffy's eyes. She found it impossible to take her eyes off of her for a moment before Xander nudged her to put the pizza down on the dresser.

It felt different just to be there with the handful of people she never thought would accept her, bring her into the fold. She was still outside of the closely woven circle they had formed and she knew she would be for a long time, too. She could see that Kennedy, although she was with Willow, wasn't quite in it yet either. But they both were slowly being brought in, inch by inch. She could see it mostly in the way Xander had talked to her. She could see it in just the tiniest ways when Buffy's eyes caught her own for a moment. She took a bite of the pizza slice she'd taken out of the box while asking herself why she even cared, why she even wanted to be a part of what they all had together.

She just didn't want to feel so alone anymore.

Xander disappeared inside the bathroom and came out a few minutes later with several bottles of beer in his hands. He handed one to everybody, saving the last for Faith as he joined her leaning against the dresser. Even with the haze of alcohol, in the glance that the two shared, the subtle smile that was exchanged, she felt herself being pulled into their fold just an inch more. She was treading carefully, careful not to show the hope that flickered through her with just a simple look, a simple smile.

"What movie do you want to watch?" Willow asked as she grabbed the remote for the TV.

"Doesn't matter," Buffy slurred slightly as she glanced over at Faith. "Do you have any suggestions?"

"No," Faith replied as she shook her head and grabbed another slice of pizza. "Whatever is fine."

Everyone settled on the bed—everyone but Faith—as Willow flicked through the channels on the small TV. Xander motioned for her to join them, but she only shook her head as she hoisted herself up on the dresser and reached for yet another slice of pizza. She paid no attention to the movie that played on the TV. The voices of the others faded out and she was purely focused on Buffy and the sound of her laugh, her drunken laugh that slurred, yet it sounded so carefree. Easy. Something she knew didn't come along for Buffy very often anymore.

She didn't know Buffy as well as she thought she did. She never did before, either. But she was starting to see something in Buffy she'd never seen before. She could see the hurt, the pain just filling her, swallowing her, and yet she could see the fight in her eyes; the fight to go on, to make it better. The alcohol had made Buffy vulnerable; it had made them all vulnerable. She could see things Buffy had fought to keep from being shown and all it took was one simple look to see it flicker in her eyes, to see that wall come right back up.

Not wanting another hangover in the morning, she drank the last of her beer and willed herself not to get another. Her eyes were still on Buffy, watching her as she watched whatever movie Willow had put on. She didn't care, nor did she seem to want to. Xander motioned her over to the bed again, pouting until she gave in and slowly made her way over. She sat on the edge of the bed next to him and with a soft smile she moved to lean up against the headboard. Buffy sat on the other side of Xander and she leaned forward and flashed a small smile at her before she moved to lay across the bed on her stomach, her eyes trained firmly on the TV.

If it had been impossible for Faith to take her eyes off of Buffy before, it was even more so now. She felt the heaviness in her eyes, the tiredness. She was still feeling the fight with the First, still feeling the heavy pain over Robin's death, and she was feeling the alcohol and her body protesting and fighting to stay awake. Kicking off her boots, she settled as comfortably as she could sitting up against the headboard and closed her eyes. Sleep wouldn't be too far off, that she was sure of, and she let the sounds of the TV and the sounds of the laughter in the room lull her to sleep.

****

Faith woke first the next morning. She had her eyes closed as she stretched out and froze when she felt the warmth of the body curled up next to her. She didn't even need to open her eyes to know just who it was. She blinked and lifted her head, looking down at Buffy curled up next to her, her head lying on her chest and her arm draped almost possessively over her stomach. She knew she had to move her or slip out of there before she woke. The last thing she wanted to deal with was with a hung over Buffy about to kick her ass for the way they'd woken up together.

Willow and Kennedy were on the floor at the foot of the bed wrapped around each other and sleeping soundly. Xander was on the other end of the bed, curled up hugging a pillow close to his chest. Faith slowly moved Buffy, holding her breath until she slipped off the bed without having woken her or anyone else. She grabbed her boots and slipped them on, letting out the breath she'd been holding as she made her way quietly to the door and walked outside.

She stood outside the room, taking in a deep breath of the fresh morning air. She ignored the feeling of how good it was to wake up the way she had. She pushed it down and forgot about it, not wanting to deal, unable to deal. She felt too many raw emotions flicker through her as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She could feel the hurt, the betrayal, the hate from before. She could feel the acceptance, the tentative trust, and the openness that she'd felt in the last couple of days. She could still feel Buffy's warmth all over her, and what should have made her skin crawl instead made her ache inside. Ache where she'd never ached before, deep in her heart.

"Good morning," Giles said cheerfully as he walked out of his room with a cup of tea in his hand. "Did you all enjoy yourselves last night?"

"Sure," she shrugged, a small smile teasing at the corner of her mouth.

"I'm going to drive the girls to the bus station next town over. Would you tell the others we'll be leaving tonight?"

"Yeah, I will. Are we driving that hunk of junk to Cleveland?"

"No," he chuckled softly as he took a sip of his tea. "After I drop the girls off, we'll simply park it and abandon it. I've arranged for a more suitable vehicle to take us all to Cleveland."

She just nodded and pulled out her crushed pack of cigarettes, muttering under her breath as she pulled one out and quickly lit it. "What happens once we get to Cleveland?"

"We'll find a place to stay and go from there."

"Are we all gonna live in the same house, or we gonna branch off on our own and just...work together?"

"What do you want to do?"

"Dunno, G. Honestly, I don't."

"I think that for now it's best we all stick together. I am sure we can find a house where we can each have a space of our own. You aren't the only one who wants that," he said softly, understanding what she was thinking before she even said a word. "Things are going to be different now, Faith."

"I know. Already feel and see the changes and they just keep on coming."

"Give Angel a call soon. I spoke with him briefly last night and he asked to have you call him. There are a few things he would like to speak to you about and I do not feel as if it is my place to tell you."

Giles handed her a slip of paper with a number written down. She knew the number, but the extension was different. He gave her a warm smile before he began to knock on each of the rooms, calling out for the girls to get ready to leave. Faith just folded the paper and slipped it into her back pocket as she walked to her room and sat down on the steps.

She sat there alone, taking one drag after another off her cigarette as she watched the girls, the new Slayers, migrate out of their rooms and onto the bus. The only two who bothered to come and say goodbye to her were Vi and Rona. She didn't do hugs, nor did she do goodbyes, but she gave them each a smile and told them to take care of themselves, to watch their backs. Rona promised she'd try to stay in touch, however she could, and with that the two walked away and got on the bus, turning back once to wave goodbye.

She didn't do goodbyes. Felt too final. Yet that sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach told her the chances of seeing those two—or any of the girls—again were slim to none. Why did she care? She never cared. Maybe it was a sign that things really were changing.

With a heavy sigh, she flicked the cigarette to the ground and quickly lit another. She sat there hunched over, her arms resting on her knees, her head held low. Thoughts of the last couple of days ran through her mind, melding together, no longer making any sense at all. Thoughts of how she woke up, the feeling of a warm body next to hers, Buffy's warm body, not some random stranger she'd plucked off the streets and definitely not Robin, who it should have been. Then she had to ask herself: If Robin was still alive, would it have worked out? Would she have given him that chance to prove her wrong?

She didn't know. She'd never know.

She lifted her head when she heard the next room's door open. Buffy stepped out, groaning as she tried to shield her eyes from the bright morning sun. She couldn't take her eyes off of her as she watched her stretch out and yawn before she stepped down the few stairs and walked towards her. She fought back the smile—smirk, really—as Buffy approached her, but found it impossible when Buffy smiled right back at her and sat down on the step next to her.

"How you feeling this morning, B?"

"Like hell. I am never drinking again."

"I'll hold those words against you," Faith chuckled softly. "Giles told me to tell you guys we're leaving tonight. He just took the girls to the bus station."

"I heard. Felt you go a little while ago too. Kind of woke me up when you left."

"Sorry."

Faith looked away from her and took a long drag, inhaling sharply, wondering if Buffy knew how she'd been sleeping, how close she'd been, how good it'd felt. It took her a little while to work up the courage to look over at Buffy. She was afraid of what would happen, what Buffy was thinking, but that small smile that curled over Buffy's lips eased her fears, just a little.

"You know the funny thing?" Buffy asked softly as she turned to look at Faith, making her wonder just what was really going through her head. "I kind of want to stay here. It's quiet. I know we can't stay, but it'd be nice to, just for a little while."

"Yeah, I guess."

"Are you really coming with us?"

"Sure am."

"Good," Buffy said as she smiled a little wider. "I mean good because we'll need you there with us, Faith. Yeah," she paused as she laughed softly, "I think I'm still a little drunk."

"I think you are," Faith chuckled as she nudged her with her shoulder. "But thanks, though."

"For what?"

"For telling me you want me to come along without actually saying that."

"What else would you do? Where else would you go?"

"Plenty of places," she shrugged as she took one last drag of her cigarette and flicked it to the ground. "None of them feel right, though, and I'm tired of being alone. If you guys want me around, I'll stick around. Can't promise you that we won't come to blows eventually, cos you know us. We're like oil and water. We don't mix."

"You ever wonder why? I mean," Buffy sighed as she leaned back against the door, "there seems like no reason for us not to get along. We did before, at least for awhile, didn't we?"

"Yeah, before everything went to shit."

"It's not going to happen again, Faith."

"No? How can you be so sure of that?"

"Because I won't let it happen again," Buffy said softly. "I can't let it happen again. After everything we've just been through and the few things we have already talked about, I know now that you're the only one that would ever truly understand what I go through."

"Maybe. And thanks for that, B. I don't think I could handle going through the same shit as we did before. Kind of really fucked me up over it all, you know?"

"Yeah I know. I can't help but think a lot of the stuff you went through before had a lot to do with me and..."

"B?" Faith stopped her before she could go on. "Anything that happened between us and with me is all my doing, okay? I know where I went wrong and I know I can't just expect you and the others to forgive and forget. Shit like that takes time, right?"

"Yeah," Buffy nodded her head slowly. "It does take time. You know," she sighed as she looked at her for a moment before dropping her eyes to look at the ground in front of her, "you aren't the only one who needs to be forgiven. You aren't the only one who has done things that...affected everyone else around you. I did a lot of things to you too. Granted, you deserved them, but...that doesn't give me the right to point fingers and say 'hey, you are evil and bad and I don't trust you'."

Faith could tell how hard it was for Buffy to say those things to her, as she was having trouble now making any kind of eye contact with her. She understood where Buffy was coming from, though. She couldn't blame Buffy for the past; she couldn't blame herself entirely for it either. Redemption, even for herself, would take time—a lot of time—and patience, both of which would be a test of her character in the days, weeks, months, even years to come.

The words 'I'm sorry' would come in time between them, but it would take a lot more than just words to prove that point. It would take—dare she think it—friendship. It would take more than words, more than friendship, though. It would take some kind of understanding they could reach between themselves. An understanding that they were all too human, that they were bound to make mistakes no matter what transpired in their lives.

The smile Buffy gave her then when they finally did look at one another, a small and rather simple understanding, gave her hope that they were finally on the right track. She clung to that hope, not caring if things would turn to shit the second she blinked. She had to cling to something and the hope she felt growing between them was all she could hold onto.