Chapter 12

It was nearly sunrise when Tim fell asleep...and he didn't get to sleep for long. At around nine, his phone rang. He sat up quickly, his heart thudding painfully against his ribcage. He couldn't remember where he was for a moment and looked around, lost in his apartment, not knowing what to expect. Gradually, the ringing phone pinged on his consciousness and he realized what it was.

He reached out and grabbed it, his hand shaking violently as he tried to breathe normally.

"H-Hello?"

"Hey, Tim. That you?"

Tim thought about the question...and who it might be on the phone. "Hello?" he repeated.

"Tim...you all right?"

That's me. I'm Tim. He's talking to me.

"Tim?"

"Sorry...who is this?"

"Matt. You know? Your nerdy friend?"

Tim gave a shaky laugh. "Hey...Matt. H-How's it going?"

"I'm great...but you sound terrible. What's wrong?"

A couple of deep breaths. "I'm okay...just a bit...a bit edgy. What's up?"

"Hey, if you're not feeling great right now, I can call back."

Now that he'd remembered himself, Tim was eager to continue the conversation.

"No, it's okay. What is it?"

"Well, actually, I have a favor to ask you...although I'm hoping you'll enjoy it."

"A favor? You're a multi-millionaire, Matt. What in the world do you need from me? I know it's not my computer skills."

Matt laughed. "No. That's not it at all. It's just that...well, Judith and I have decided to behave like stereotypical rich people and go traveling for the summer."

"I won't be your butler, Matt," Tim said, smiling.

"No...of course not...although..."

"Don't even think about it. I haven't sunk that low." I've been lower, but not that low.

"Okay, okay. Really what we wanted was to ask if you'd house sit for us."

"House sit?"

"Yeah. It's kind of a last minute trip and...and we trust you. You'd have the run of the house. You wouldn't have to do anything. We have people to maintain the stables and clean the house and stuff like that. We have a great security system, but you just can't beat the presence of an actual human being."

Tim thought about it...and looked around his apartment. He already wanted to leave it. He'd been to Matt's house a few times since they'd reconnected a couple of years ago and it was one, maybe two steps short of being a palatial mansion...with acres and acres of property around it

"Well?"

"You know what, Matt? That...sounds great. I just got off a long assignment and...I could use the vacation."

"Really? What?"

"Well...I was undercover, but I can't talk about it right now. Not until charges are filed and stuff. You know."

"Right. Of course. Your life is a lot more exciting than mine, and I guess I wanted to live vicariously."

"Yeah. My life is so much better. You're a millionaire. You're married to a lovely lady. You have that huge house. You're doing what our fellow classmates would kill to be able to do."

"But not you?"

"Who knows?" Tim said. "When are you two jet-setters leaving?"

"Next week. You can come over on Sunday night and we'll give the lowdown on everything."

"Sounds good. ...oh, I should warn you, though, that you might be a little surprised by how I look."

"How you look? Why?"

"It was...a tough assignment, but I actually just got back last night. I look...bad."

"How bad?"

"Judith is going to freak out...even after a week."

"Well...in that case, come over Sunday afternoon instead. Let Judith feed you and fret over you and then we'll go and she'll feel as though she's done her civic duty."

"Okay, Matt. I'll see you on Sunday."

"Great, and thanks a lot, Tim. I appreciate it."

"You're asking me to stay in your house for free for months. I appreciate it."

Matt chuckled. "Believe me. I'm grateful."

"Bye, Matt. See you."

"Ciao, Tim. Do I sound suave?"

"Not at all. Bye."

Tim hung up and sighed. Matt was a friend he almost hadn't made. They had drifted apart after graduating as so often happens, occasionally exchanging Christmas cards, emails, but nothing deep. Tim had kept up with what Matt had been doing. Finding one of the few dot com companies to survive the crash, Matt had made money while so many others around him had hemorrhaged funds. His smart investments, combined with his software company had made him wealthy and secure. He and Judith had moved to Maryland a few years before and they had run into each other at a special gala...at which Thom E. Gemcity had been a guest.

Now, that friendship would save him from staying here. Thank goodness.

His phone rang again.

"Hello?"

"McGee, I believe the work day begins at 0700. You're not the only one who had a late night."

Tim felt the equilibrium he'd found while talking to Matt vanish into nothing and anger took its place. He hung up on Tony and didn't bother to change his clothes before leaving.

His phone rang as he drove to NCIS, but he simply connected and then hung up every time it came up as someone from his team. By the time he reached NCIS, he was fully angry again...at all of them. He didn't hesitate to hang up on any of them. He didn't care what Gibbs said or did. He still had a few tricks up his sleeve.

As he pulled into a parking space, he smiled. ...but it was Thomas' smile, not Tim's.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

"You could have changed first, McGee," Ziva said. "I am sure you did not have to be that much in a hurry."

"Yeah, and you could have talked to me...or am I still not allowed to speak to you," Tony grumbled.

Tim ignored Tony completely. "I was given to understand that I was late, Ziva," he said. "After all, I wouldn't want to get in trouble on my first day back, now would I?" He walked by her to his desk.

"You're late, McGee," Gibbs said as he walked in. "We have to go to Norfolk."

"Already? Come on, Boss! Why can't Alex's team take care of that?"

"Because this is our case, DiNozzo. Stop whining. Grab your gear."

Tim started to stand.

"Not you, McGee. You're out of the field."

"What?" Tim asked in annoyance.

"You have to have your debriefing. We have to determine that you're not at fault in the killing of Julia Westin."

"Who?"

"Your girlfriend, Probie."

"Jewel," Ziva said.

"At fault?" Tim stood up. "At fault?"

"I'm not starting this, McGee. You know procedure. You stay here and work on your report. I'm sure it will take you plenty of time."

Gibbs walked to the elevator, Ziva and Tony on his six. Tim stood in the bullpen, at a loss for words. Then, he noticed that Lara was watching him again. He glared and sat down at his computer. It took a few minutes before he could concentrate on the screen long enough to start typing.

...but when he did, there was no indication of his anger, his irritation. It was all professional words...because he had no interest in screwing up at any point of this operation. That included writing up his report. He was meticulous and thorough as usual. Hatred and anger were not reasons to miss out on details. He focused on the screen, pushing away everything else. All the mattered was doing this right.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

"Is there any question, Alex?" Gibbs asked.

"Not on my side," Alex said. "You were here when we processed the scene. Julia Westin was armed. The angle of the bullets jives with Agent McGee's version of the events. ...to be honest, if he was lying we wouldn't be able to tell from this. They didn't have surveillance in there, as you know, and no one else was in the room besides Agent McGee and Westin. A good lawyer will bring it up, but I don't see any reason for it to be a problem."

"That's good," Tony said.

"But I'd make sure your agent gets his head screwed on straight. He can't act like he was last night. That will bring his testimony into question. None of them are claiming any role for him beyond lackey. We'll ship them up to you. By the way, I've been hearing from the FBI this morning."

Gibbs smiled. "I'm sure that means I will, too."

"Just so you're ready. Well, we've still got lots to do. You guys ready to work?"

Tony muttered something unintelligible...and received a headslap for his trouble.

"We're ready."

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

"Timothy! So the rumors are true!"

Tim jumped out of his skin yet again. He was on his feet spinning around, ready for attack...until he recognized the voice.

"Ducky! Hi."

"I'm sorry I startled you, lad."

"What do you want?" he asked, his eyes shifting briefly to cover the area around him before realizing that it was stupid to think he had to worry about being in this particular building.

"I had heard you were back and wanted to welcome you," Ducky said.

Tim looked at him for a moment and then forced a smile. "You're the first one to do that."

"Am I? Haven't you seen anyone else?"

"Only the three Stooges," Tim muttered, "and they're not likely to welcome me back."

"I had heard there were some fireworks yesterday."

"What? Is everyone talking about me already?" Tim asked angrily.

"Timothy, that's hardly the case, but you must admit that you hitting Tony in the face is worthy of making the rounds."

Tim laughed. "You should have seen his face, Ducky...even before his nose started bleeding."

"Abigail will be happy to see you. She's been very anxious."

Tim felt his fierce satisfaction fade. "I probably have to see her, don't I."

"Why wouldn't you want to?"

"Don't tell her I'm up here. I have work to do. I have to finish my report. It's going to take a long time...not that it matters since I'm being treated like I did something wrong...when I saved their lives, but I need to be able to focus on that...and Abby...she isn't conducive to focusing."

"Timothy, are you feeling all right?"

"Why does everyone keep asking me that? I feel fine! You all seem to expect me to fall apart! I'm fine! The operation is over, and I did a good job! Can't anyone accept that?"

"I'm sure you did a good job, Timothy. You are very good at what you do. You don't look like yourself...nor do you sound like yourself. I was worried merely on a personal level."

Tim flushed. "Sorry, Ducky. I'm just so sick of everyone questioning my every move."

"Who has been doing that?"

"Everyone! First and foremost, my 'team'! I at least got Tony to shut his mouth for a while, but even a warning won't stop him for long. Ziva covers it all in being worried about me, but that's only because she thinks she could do it better, and Gibbs just sits back and lets it all happen...except when he decides that I've crossed the line! Heaven forbid he should acknowledge that someone else made a mistake!"

"Timothy, when is your debriefing scheduled for?"

"I don't remember. I'm sure someone will kindly make sure that I don't forget it," Tim said sarcastically.

"Well, you're always welcome to come down to Autopsy if you would like to chat. Goodness knows, I don't get many visitors down there."

Tim smiled, his irritation fading in the face of Ducky's calm demeanor. "I haven't really been down there much myself, I know," he said. "Don't tell Abby I'm up here, okay?"

"If that's what you want, but you know she'll find out."

"I know, but..." Tim hesitated...and looked around again, this time for eavesdroppers. "...but I don't want to see her. Not now."

"Why don't you come down and visit me right now, Timothy?"

"I have to finish my report, Ducky," Tim said, backing off.

"Since they went to Norfolk, they won't be back for quite some time. I can give you a checkup."

"I don't need a checkup, Ducky. I'm fine."

"Humor me."

"I don't..."

"Come now, the dead aren't listening very well today. I'd like to have a real conversation. I can look you over and you can chat with me. ...and then we can take our lunch break."

"Ducky..." Tim protested, a bit weakly.

"I would love to have some conversation."

Tim sighed and smiled. "Okay. ...but I'm fine."

"Then, the checkup won't take long at all! ...besides, it will help you avoid Abigail."

Tim responded to Ducky's good-natured cajoling and allowed himself to be directed down to Autopsy.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

Ducky kept careful control of his deep worry. Tim's reactions to the simplest of questions were extremely negative. He seemed afraid of being perceived to have slipped up in any way, and Ducky was worried about how much more intense his anger toward his teammates had become since he had seen him a few months before. ...but Tim had begun to respond more like his old self as Ducky had persisted. He had no doubt, however, that if he expressed even a little anxiety, Tim would retreat back to his sarcasm and anger.

"All right, lad, just jump up while I get my bag."

"I'm really okay, Ducky."

"I know. Humor an old man," Ducky said with an encouraging smile.

Tim obeyed with a tolerant expression. Ducky hurried to get his bag. He didn't want to tax Tim's very-limited patience. The examination went quickly because, as Tim had said, physically at least, he wasn't too badly off.

"Well? Aren't I okay?"

"Yes, you were right. Your temperature is a bit elevated as is your heart rate, but I think that is easily explained by your recent experiences. You obviously haven't been getting much sleep lately."

"Why do you say that?" Tim asked, instantly angry.

Ducky laughed gently. "Lad, anyone looking at you could see that."

The anger lasted for a few seconds before ebbing away again.

"You're the only one who's mentioned it."

"Yes, well, I'm trained to look for it."

"So are they..." Tim said bitterly.

Ducky heard the dangerous anger returning.

"How about lunch?"

"I'm not really hungry. I got used to eating less."

"Doctor's orders, Timothy. You need to eat more regular meals. That will help your general well-being. I also think you should get out in the sun more. That should help your sleeping habits. We all need to spend a certain amount of time in the sunshine. It's good for you."

Tim rolled his eyes, but the anger eased away again and he slid off the table.

"I'll listen to my doctor," Tim said and walked with Ducky to the elevator and out of the building.

As they walked to the food court, Ducky noticed Tim's hyper-awareness of his surroundings. He was continually looking around, watching for...whatever. He touched Tim's wrist, felt the momentary trembling and then let go when Tim twitched away from him.

"You have nothing to fear on the Yard, Timothy."

"I'm not afraid," Tim said, a hint of belligerence.

Ducky just smiled and led him along. As they ate lunch together, Ducky found it an exhausting task to keep Tim in a calmer state of mind. He hadn't lost the anger, although he wasn't expressing it so much, nor was much of it directed at Ducky himself. However, Tim occasionally made small digs, just to see if he could get a reaction. They were clever and almost cruel at times. Only Ducky's awareness of Tim's disordered mind kept him from rebuking him. That seemed to be what Tim was trying to get from him. Criticism. As he continued failing to get the desired reaction, the digs lessened. By the time they headed back to NCIS, Tim was much less angry, but Ducky couldn't help wondering if that would last any longer than the amount of time Tim spent in his presence.

"I've got to get back to work, Ducky," Tim said as soon as he stepped off the elevator. "I need to finish my report."

"I have one last medical recommendation."

Tim paused and looked back at Ducky, ready to resist.

"I think you should take some time off when you've finished with the necessary reports and debriefings. It's not required that you leap back into your regular routine."

The reaction he got to that suggestion was not what Ducky expected. Tim just smiled...almost sneered.

"Thanks for the recommendation, Ducky. I'll take it...under advisement."

It looked as though the momentary truce Tim had made with...a small segment of humanity was over. He sat down at his computer and began to work once more...a strangely intense expression on his face as he did so.

Ducky headed back to his domain with a heavy heart. He'd had no idea how bad things had been for Tim. He was surprised that none of his teammates had mentioned it. That was a conversation for another time, however. Right now, he wanted to test his hypothesis. He picked up his phone and dialed Gibbs' number.

"Gibbs."

"Hello, Jethro."

"What, Ducky. We're a little busy."

"Yes, I'm sure you are. I wanted to ask a favor."

"What?"

"Could you just let me know when you all return to NCIS?"

"Why?"

"Humor me. Give me a call when you get to the building."

"Call you?"

"Yes, Jethro. If you would."

Gibbs sighed and then hung up, but Ducky knew he'd do it. He didn't want to tell Gibbs why just yet because it would change how he reacted to Tim.

His last task before getting back to his real job was to use his access and find out when Tim's debriefing was supposed to take place. He was unpleasantly surprised to note that it should already have been done. That Tim probably knew that and had intentionally missed it was more or less certain.

Ducky wished he understood just what had happened to change Tim from the sweet-natured agent he had known into this rather unlikable man.