The next four nights were spent in the neighbourhood around the Hellmouth. There was no activity, suspicious or otherwise. There was no mention of the way Buffy had slipped her hand into Faith's that first night without a word and there was no mention of what had transpired between them before that either. There was only awkward eye contact and small, shy smiles exchanged whenever they looked at one another. Faith wasn't one for those shy smiles, but she couldn't help it whenever she just looked at Buffy and saw something more there.
The something more she was still refusing to fully accept, to really believe was actually there and not just a figment of her imagination, always wary of that imagination being just a bit over-active. In the last four days however, they'd all gotten into what she dared called a somewhat normal, steady routine. She was always the last one up, the last one to eat breakfast, and she always ran down with a piece of toast, a bagel, or a pancake shoved in her mouth as Giles told her to get a move on with her training. Why she was obeying his 'rules', she really didn't know, but she really hadn't questioned it either. She wondered if it had to do with the years that she'd spent in prison. She knew it did, at least it had something to do with that.
This morning had started off just like the last couple of days. She woke up just before ten, dressed in sweats and a loose fitting t-shirt. She pulled her hair back into a loose ponytail and went downstairs to get coffee, have a cigarette, and eat some breakfast before a couple of hours of training with Buffy and Kennedy. Dawn, Xander, and Andrew were in the living room watching TV just as they were almost every single day now, none of them having anything better to do. Giles was sitting in the one armchair by the window, reading the morning paper and sipping what Faith knew was most likely his fifth cup of tea that morning.
"Morning," Willow said cheerfully as Faith walked into the kitchen and headed straight for the coffeemaker
"Hey," she muttered under her breath in reply, smiling over at her despite how so not awake she was. "Are Buffy and Kennedy already downstairs?"
"As always."
"Great."
"Are you feeling okay?" Willow asked as Faith poured herself a cup of coffee and leaned heavily against the counter. "Just feeling a little tired, aren't you?"
"Add boredom to that," Faith replied with a forced laugh. "Sometimes just wanna drop everything and fuck off for a couple days, find the fun."
Willow shook her head, stifling a laugh since she knew Faith was partly joking. Things weren't just falling into a routine there with everyone; they were all slowly falling into a comfortableness that had never been there before. Even Andrew was finally getting along with everyone, at least until he started annoying Xander, and then it was pure hilarity for everyone else not involved. Faith had found her center, found a way to curb some of the anger that still fluttered to the surface at times.
Faith stood there and sipped her coffee, listening to the sounds of fists hitting the punching bag down in the basement. Kennedy came upstairs, looking completely worn out as she sat next to Willow at the table. Their public displays of affection had been unashamedly increased and it was at the point where everyone was continuously telling them to get a room. Faith just smiled at the two of them and headed downstairs, leaving them alone in the kitchen. Seeing them all touchy-feely made her yearn for it herself, but she hadn't had the desire to go out and find someone to satisfy those urges. She didn't even have the desire to call Julie despite how intense their second time together had been.
She stopped at the bottom of the stairs and sat down, watching as Buffy pummelled the bag repeatedly without breaking her rhythm. The small radio they'd brought down played old classic rock, setting the beat for Buffy, and Faith couldn't take her eyes off of her. The look of focus Buffy had was intense and she cocked her head to the side a little, her eyes drinking in the fluid movements of her body, waiting for Buffy to notice that she was down there watching her. As soon as her thoughts began to tread into dangerous territory, she cleared her throat as she stood up and placed her empty mug on the bottom step.
"About time you decided to get up," Buffy laughed as she turned to look at her. She grabbed onto the bag to keep it from swaying, taking in a deep breath as Faith just shrugged her shoulders and walked over to the mats to stretch. "Did you happen to talk to Giles yet?"
"No, why?"
"We're taking the night off," Buffy smiled as she joined her on the mats. "Kennedy managed to convince him, since there'd been no activity around the Hellmouth lately, that we deserved a night off."
"Right, cos we've been working so fuckin' hard the last couple of nights."
"One night off then we're going to start with what Giles is calling a regular patrol schedule," Buffy said, rolling her eyes as Faith laughed dryly at that. "I don't like it any more than you do. You get the feeling that something still isn't right around here?"
"Yeah."
"Is something bothering you?"
"Me? No. Why do you think that?"
"You aren't really..." Buffy paused, looking as if she was trying to find the right word. She just shrugged as she watched Faith stretch out. "You're bored, aren't you?"
"Of course I am," she smiled, wondering when Buffy started to figure her out. "Living on a Hellmouth isn't supposed to be boring. That alone is scary as fuck. Don't even know what's gonna end up happening once things really start to blow up around here."
"Whatever does happen, we'll be ready for it."
"Sure fucking hope so," Faith said under her breath as she stood up from the mats slowly, her muscles stretched and ready, aching for a few good hours of training.
Before she could ask Buffy if she wanted to spar, Buffy was already headed up the stairs. She let out a soft, heavy sigh as she grabbed the tape and wrapped up her hands. She cranked the volume on the radio and began working over the bag, quickly finding a rhythm that burned her muscles in a way that felt good. The only time she was able to let go of the thoughts running rampant through her mind was when she lost herself in the rhythm of pushing her body to the max. The last fifteen days had been full of vicissitudes, self-discovery, and finding that the path to redemption would be touch and go for a while.
For hours she was down there alone, lost in her own world, the sounds of the music on the radio and the rapid beats of her fists hitting the bag keeping her focused. She loved to push herself to the max and the beads of sweat that rolled down her torso and soaked into her shirt was evidence her body was being put through quite a workout. She stopped after a couple of hours, her fists sore, her muscles aching, and her stomach growling.
Nearly everyone but Buffy was in the kitchen getting dinner ready when she walked upstairs. She grabbed a beer out of the fridge and headed upstairs, wanting nothing more than to have a nice hot shower before she ate. She went to her room first, taking small yet frequent sips of her beer as she walked down the hallway. She left the door open and placed the half-empty bottle of beer down on the dresser. A night off meant they could all do what they wanted and despite the pleas her body was giving her to go out and find some proper release, she didn't want to do anything but lounge around the house. She had to laugh at herself, knowing how much it wasn't like her to want to spend a night at home.
She finished off her beer and grabbed a change of clothes before she headed for the bathroom to take a hot shower. Buffy was talking quietly on the phone in her room as she passed by the partly closed door. From the little bit she overheard, she realized that Buffy was talking to Angel, filling him in on the things that had happened, or the lack of in the last few days.
Trying to keep all her thoughts at bay, she had a quick shower and headed downstairs to eat. Staying lost in her own little world, she grabbed a big bowl of spaghetti and sat at the table, barely listening to the others as they talked quietly. Buffy joined them when they'd nearly finished eating, choosing to sit next to Faith instead of in the empty chair next to Xander across the table. She ignored the look Kennedy shot her way as the others began to clear the table, focusing on Buffy instead and smiling a little when she caught Buffy staring at her while trying to make it not so obvious that she was.
"Are you...going out tonight?" Buffy asked softly, barely heard over the clatter of dishes and the water running in the sink. "I thought maybe I'd take you up on your offer from before."
"What offer?"
"About finding the fun," she shrugged, moving the spaghetti around in her bowl with her fork. "I thought with our night off maybe we could go to the club we went to the other night."
"Sure, B. Was kind of thinking of staying in tonight, but hell, if you want to find the fun I'm down for that," Faith grinned as she leaned back in her chair and looked over at Kennedy and Willow for a split second. "We should get everyone to come out, y'know, make it a group thing."
In truth, though she could barely admit it even to herself, she was petrified of spending too much time alone with Buffy. She didn't want to turn down Buffy's offer to hang out since she was obviously putting in some effort to further establish their growing friendship. She kept asking herself what's the worst that could happen if they did decide to go out to the club together, just the two of them, and the answers her mind came up with sent her to a place she'd been fighting not to slip into for days.
"Uh, sure," Buffy finally said after she'd taken a few bites of her spaghetti before pushing the bowl aside. "That girl you uh...you know, is she going to be there?"
"Why?"
"Because it's kind of...awkward and..." Buffy looked away from her as a slight blush crept over her cheeks. "I don't want to go out somewhere with you if someone is going to be all over you," she whispered under her breath, the blush deepening as she allowed herself to look back over at Faith.
"Well, we could always go somewhere else, no big deal, B. Big city and all, there's bound to be plenty of clubs we can hit up."
"Are you two going out tonight?" Kennedy asked from where she and Willow stood at the sink, washing and drying the dishes. "If you are, we are so going to hit up this club I read about in the paper this morning. It just opened and the best part is..." Kennedy chuckled as Willow poked her hard in the stomach, warning her not to continue.
"What's the best part?" Buffy asked, her curiosity now piqued and the blush over her cheeks fading fast.
"Uh, from the description that was written up, looks like it'd be much like the Bronze," Willow said quickly before Kennedy could say a word. "We do need to find a place just to go find the fun every once in a while and it might not be the Bronze, but...what I'm trying to say is..."
"We need a place to hang out outside of the house," Kennedy finished for her, smiling as she leaned in to give her a sweet, chaste kiss. "So, you two up for checking it out?"
"Why not?" Buffy replied, looking right at Faith as if she was waiting for her to agree.
"Sounds fun," Faith said finally, smiling over at Kennedy and Willow before looking back at Buffy. "Looks like we'll definitely all be finding the fun tonight."
"Looks like."
****
The club they'd planned to go to was packed, it being opening night and all, and when they saw the line to get in, they decided against it and headed to the small bar across the street. It was quiet in there aside from the baseball game playing on the TV and a few patrons that were likely regulars there. They sat at a booth near the back and ordered a round of shots and a pitcher of beer. Xander and Andrew had decided to tag along with them and nobody had protested against the two of them coming out with them.
The booth was just barely big enough for the six of them to squeeze in together. Faith ended up on the edge next to Xander, trying not to feel slightly disappointed that Buffy had chosen to sit across from her next to Kennedy and Willow. They made small talk, mostly talking about what they'd do throughout the summer ahead of them. Despite them living on a supposedly active Hellmouth, they wanted to try to live normal lives, as least as normal as they could considering the circumstances. Xander started rambling on about how they should all go camping one weekend and that caused all but Faith to groan in protest.
"Well, Faith," he smiled at her as he casually draped his arm over her shoulders, "looks like it's just you and me one weekend with nothing but nature, the stars at night, and a case of beer to split around a roaring campfire."
"Great."
"It'll be a good bonding experience, don't you think?"
"For sure, Xand," she said, feigning an enthusiastic smile as she shrugged his arm off of her shoulders. "Y'know, it's been god knows how fucking long since I've been camping."
She smiled at him, holding back that fear she had of opening herself up to others. She'd realized a lot over the past couple of days that nobody really knew her; they only just assumed that they did. It'd always been hard for her to open herself up and talk about normal things in her life and in her past. Talking about her sexual endeavours and crazy experiences was not filed under opening herself up and talking about herself, not in any meaningful way.
The conversation went on without her, Xander trying to convince the others to come along on their nearly non-existent camping trip. Faith knew that as the days passed their actual periods of downtime would be few and far in between. By the time the pitcher of beer was finished, Faith felt the strings of boredom begin to tug at her nerves and she got up from the booth and pulled Xander with her over to the lone pool table at the far end of the small bar. He said nothing as he racked up, smiling a little over at her as she stood at the other end of the table and fiddled with the pool stick in her hand.
The first game went by quickly, Faith letting Xander win since she wasn't in the mood. She wasn't feeling the atmosphere of the bar. It was far too tame for the burning desire inside of her to get out there and get a little wild. Those days were far from over for her, yet the other desire to actually go out and enjoy herself in one of the many ways she loved to was gone. It caused a rush of thoughts to flood through her mind as the two of them joined the others back in the booth. She didn't know what had happened in the last two weeks, but she knew something had changed inside of her. She was losing her old self and finding someone else there under all the layers she hid behind all the time.
Her eyes kept meeting Buffy's as the others talked and laughed quietly. It was too surreal for her to see the things she'd been seeing every time their eyes met over the last couple of days. There was definitely desire there in Buffy's eyes, and she had to try to convince herself not to figure out why. The small, shy smiles they'd shared was unravelling something between them, something that she knew went far beyond the planes of friendship.
It was too much just to sit there across from Buffy and she stood up quickly, ignoring the questioning glance that she received from all of them as she made her way to the bar. She sat down on the stool at the end and motioned to the bartender to bring her a cold beer. The old man just smiled warmly at her as he placed the bottle of Budweiser down in front of her.
"Can I get a shot of Jack with this?" Faith asked before he turned to walk away. He returned with the bottle and poured her a shot slowly, his hand shaking as he looked as if he struggled to control it. "Thanks. Can you leave the bottle? Just add it to our tab."
He nodded as he left the bottle there in front of her, picked up the worn and tattered rag, and walked over to the only other patron currently seated at the bar, a man a few stools down the bar. They talked quietly, but it wasn't hard for her to pick up on their conversation loud and clear.
"You heard about the Slayers coming to town?" The man in the dark trench coat asked the bartender quietly. Faith watched out of the corner of her eye as the old man nodded his head. "Things have calmed down around here since they've shown up. Saw them the other night wandering the area that's been c0ndemned."
"This is relevant information to me, why?"
"You see, I've got a couple of friends who don't like that they're here. well," he chuckled as he looked over at Faith for a moment before lowering his voice a little more, "I wouldn't call them friends exactly, more like the enemies I like to keep close to keep the peace around these parts. They don't like the fact that this city has three Slayers living here."
"You heard about Sunnydale then, I suppose?"
"Nothing but a crater in the ground. Heard they fought the First evil and won. Their luck is bound to run out eventually. Just thought you'd like to get the heads up that these friends of mine are looking for a way out of town. I was told you were the man that could help them."
"I'm sorry," the old man said as he shook his head and wrung the tattered rag in his shaking hands. "I no longer do that line of work. My loyalties lie here and with my wife. I cannot put her life in danger any longer. You can tell your friends they can find their own way out of town."
"See, Henry, that's the problem. There's something else out there now that won't let them leave," the man said under his breath as he leaned over the bar a little ways. "I've heard your wife was the one to cast the barrier around the Hellmouth. You don't suppose she's behind this latest...setback, do you?"
"Laura isn't...she hasn't for quite some time, not since the barrier spell was cast. I'm sorry, Sam," the bartender sighed as he looked over at Faith, the glint in his eye almost speaking the words he couldn't say. "Why is it that you care to help those friends of yours now when you never bothered to in the past?"
"Because they are bound to become a problem and we can't have that now, can we? Been quiet around here lately and it's become even more so with the arrival of the Slayers and the people are starting to notice that something is...off. Even those down at the station know that something is wrong."
Faith didn't like this guy. He was human and she was sure of that, having not felt any vibes coming off of him other than the ones that screamed 'traitor' and 'liar'. She poured herself another shot as Kennedy came to join her at the bar, a pointed glance telling the other girl to keep quiet as Faith continued to listen to the conversation unfolding a few feet away.
"Henry, I'm telling you, I don't like this. Word has it that having the Slayers in town is going to cause a lot more trouble. More than any of us have seen on our lifetime."
"And what do you suggest we do about it then, Sam?"
"Find a way to get them out of our town before things get really bad. We handled it before they came here just fine."
Kennedy looked at Faith with wide eyes, looking as if she wanted to say something but instead grabbing the shot glass sitting in front of Faith, filling it up before quickly throwing it back. The man sitting on the stool placed a card on the bar, sliding it across to the old man still wringing the tattered rag in his hands. He stood up slowly from the stool, staring both Faith and Kennedy up and down before he headed for the door. The old man dropped the rag on top of the counter, sighing out loudly as he looked over at the two of them.
"I suppose you heard everything," he said quietly as he walked over towards them and placed a second shot glass in front of Kennedy. "I don't think he knows who you are."
"And who are we?" Faith asked, raising an eyebrow when he laughed stiffly.
"The Slayers."
"How do you know that?"
"Because I have the uncanny ability to know these things," he replied with a smile. "My wife, she saw you before you came here and she was anxious to share her vision with me, of course. Unfortunately, with the visions, names are never there. I am Henry."
"Faith," she said as she reached out to shake his hand. "This is Kennedy and the blond haired chick over there, that's Buffy." Henry inclined his head briefly before stepping away briefly to serve a few customers who were now walking up to the bar.
She'd always been fairly good at reading other people; it was one of those hidden talents she'd had for as long as she could remember. The only person she'd never been able to read was Buffy and even that was slowly starting to change. They needed a snitch, as she had put it before, and she got the feeling that Henry would be the one they'd come to for information when the endless hours of researched turned up nothing. How she got all of that, she wasn't sure, but she always went by her gut instinct despite the occasional times when it got her into nothing but trouble.
"So, who was that you were talking to?" Faith asked after Henry had served the few customers their drinks and returned to them.
"Brother," Henry replied with a solemn voice. "He...it is a rather long story."
"Got lots of time for stories," Faith replied as she reached for her beer. "How many do you figure know that we're here?"
"Enough. I've heard things and not just from Sam, but also from others that come in here. Seems a lot of those around here aren't too happy you've shown up," he said under his breath as a few of his customers left. He nodded a goodbye in their direction before looking back at Faith and Kennedy. "The police here have been handling things for as long as I can remember. There was a Slayer here once, many years ago. She was turned after she'd been here for several weeks and ever since then no other Slayer has ever come. Not one."
"Never?" Kennedy asked, looking at Faith for a moment as if she was bored. "So, we got some Slayer who is a vampire running this town?"
"Not anymore," Henry replied quietly. "She was taken care of years ago. The ones who ran the tunnels with her are still around. Nobody can seem to track them down. Sam knows of one of them, but even I am not so sure about my own brother's intentions. As far as I know he's been helping them get out of town, but since you three have arrived, there's a mystical force preventing them from leaving."
"Does this have anything to do with the barrier that is around the Hellmouth?"
"It does," Henry nodded. "My wife is responsible for the barrier itself, but we believe over time it's expanded and taken a life of its own. We have no idea why it would keep them from leaving, but it has. It's also prevented more from coming into the city."
"How is that possible?" Kennedy asked as she took a seat on the stool next to Faith. "I know anything is possible, but how is that possible?"
"Magic has no bounds," Henry said softly. "My wife and the coven she grew up in are very powerful. They've done things no others ever have, things no one ever believed was possible. It isn't dangerous, the barrier, if you were wondering. It has no affect on humans."
Faith looked back at the booth, watching Buffy and the others laugh as they tried to finish off the beer in the pitcher. The rational side of her told her that now wasn't a good time to learn all of this. Buffy looked over at her and smiled sweetly, the glaze in her eyes telling Faith she was definitely feeling a little more than just tipsy. She fought back the laugh as she turned back to Henry.
"You know this place inside and out, don't ya?" Faith asked him, keeping her voice low despite the lack of other patrons around them.
"I do."
"Would you be willing to work with us, help us out when we need it?"
"I could, yes," he smiled at her as he reached for another bottle of beer and placed it down in front of her as she finished hers off. "And your drinks tonight are on the house."
Henry gave her a small card with an address and a number on it. She flashed a smile, mouthing a thank you as she grabbed her beer and pulled Kennedy off of the stool. They went back to sit with the others at the booth and once the laughter had died down she told them what had just went on with Henry. It was sobering for the others, just as it had been for her having heard the things that Henry's brother had said. They didn't let it bring a halt to their night, though, and the conversation soon changed from the more serious things back to Xander trying to convince the others to do the camping trip he had his heart set on. Faith just sat there and thought about everything.
Everything happened for a reason. Every little thing that happened always caused a ripple effect of sorts. Having ended up there in the bar instead of at the club as they had planned had happened for a reason. If they hadn't decided to skip the club due to the line outside the door, they wouldn't have ended up there in the small bar and they wouldn't have ended up finding out things they would have never found out otherwise. She knew they would have come across Henry or his brother Sam at one point or another, but her gut instinct told her it was better that they had tonight.
They stayed until Henry closed the bar for the night and the walk back to the house was quiet, the rather cool night air sobering them up just a little. Faith stayed back a few paces from the others, smoking the last cigarette in her pack slowly and keeping her eyes on Buffy as she struggled to walk straight. She had to try to suppress the laughter when Buffy and Willow clung to each other, both of them giggling as they nearly fell to the ground.
They lucked out, making it back to the house without any incidents. None of them were in any shape to fight if they had run into any vampires or demons. Whether that was pure luck or the vampires and demons were running scared, Faith knew better than to count on them getting that sort of break ever again. They'd been stupid, but they were alive to tell the tale and she vowed that next time they'd arrange for some transportation. Everyone headed for bed, but Faith stayed down in the living room, sitting on the chair by the window in the dark and just staring outside.
"Hey," Buffy said softly as she sat in the chair next to her. "What do you think about the deal with Henry?"
"Seems like a good guy," Faith shrugged. "He'll help us out."
"How are you so sure? How can you just trust someone you've just met?"
"Going by my gut instinct, B. If I end up being wrong, you have full permission to kick my ass."
Buffy just nodded her head, staring at Faith in the dark room as if she was waiting for her to say something else. Faith only shifted in the chair, trying to get comfortable and finding it nearly impossible to under the intense gaze she found herself subjected to. It took everything she had to keep from looking back at Buffy. She wasn't so sure how much longer she could hold herself back without making a move. Those thoughts and those feelings were getting stronger with every day that passed and she was no longer strong enough to fight what she felt. She wanted to talk to Buffy about what was unfolding between them since she knew there was something more happening than the two of them just trying to be friends. They could never be friends and she was beginning to realize why.
"You've been pretty quiet all night," Buffy said softly, waiting for Faith look over at her before she continued, "I kept thinking maybe you weren't having fun. Wasn't tonight all about finding the fun?"
"I had plenty of fun, B. The whole thing with Henry was kind of sobering."
"Giles is going to need to know what happened tonight."
"Yeah," she replied as she closed her eyes and slouched down in the chair, still trying to get comfortable. "Gonna just wait until the morning to tell him."
"I don't think we should...do this too often," Buffy groaned as she held her head in her hands. "Now I remember why I hate drinking."
"So why do you do it then?"
"I don't know," she laughed softly. "I think there's a part of me, this little part, that just wants to be normal and act like someone my age. You know, minus the keg parties and everything."
"You aren't gonna be sick, are ya?" Faith asked as she watched Buffy rock back and forth slowly. "B? If you're gonna be sick..."
"I'm fine. I didn't drink that much, you know."
"Maybe you should just go to bed then?"
"I'm not tired."
"Right," Faith sighed as she stood up slowly. "I'm gonna make some coffee. Do you want a cup?"
"Sure," she smiled as she tried to stand up, promptly falling back into the chair. She reached out to Faith and they both laughed quietly as Faith pulled her up to her feet. "Maybe I did drink a little more than I thought I did."
"Yeah," Faith said softly as she wrapped her arms around Buffy's waist to keep her from falling back onto the chair. She took in a sharp breath and tried to control the shiver that ran down her spine as Buffy wrapped her arms around her and tried to steady herself. "Are you sure you're okay, B? Maybe you should just go to bed."
"Mm-hmm."
"Buffy?"
"Yeah?"
Faith took a deep breath as Buffy's fingers stroked the back of her neck lightly. Her mind was screaming 'not like this', but the rest of her knew what it wanted. She cursed to herself under her breath, wondering when she'd ever have control over her raging libido. All it ever took was a warm body pressed so close to her and that was it. She couldn't do that with Buffy. They were both drunk and she knew if Buffy remembered in the morning that things would be nothing short of awkward between them. There was even a possibility of Buffy really kicking her ass, kicking her out of the house, telling her she never wanted to see her again…and then there was the possibility that Buffy wanted this as much as she did. Their lips were so close that Faith could feel the warm breath every time Buffy breathed out.
She was lost in a trance, mesmerized by the way Buffy was staring into her eyes and the way she kept lightly stroking her fingers over the back of her neck. Her breathing was ragged as she struggled to control her urges. She couldn't. Not now, not like this. She dropped her arms from around Buffy with a heavy sigh and reached for Buffy's hands still around her neck and pulled them away. She wanted to say something. She knew she had to say something, anything, but the words were failing her as she saw the disappointment flicker in Buffy's eyes even in the darkness of the room.
"I can't do this."
"Do what?" Buffy asked, her voice barely above a whisper as she stared at Faith, her body swaying slightly as she tried to stay still. "You can't do what, Faith?"
"This," she said as she pointed to the space between them. "I can't do this, Buffy."
"Do what? Faith, I...tell me what you can't do because you lost me about five minutes ago."
"Five minutes ago I almost kissed you," she said under her breath as she headed for the kitchen, biting her lips suddenly and hoping to hell that Buffy hadn't heard her.
"You almost what?" Buffy asked as she followed her into the kitchen. "Faith..."
"What, Buffy? What do you want me to say? I can't fucking do this."
"Do what, Faith? What can't you do?"
"Are you serious? You realize what almost happened in there?"
"Yes."
"We're supposed to be friends, Buffy. Friends. Not...anything else."
"We are friends, aren't we? We're working on that, right?" Buffy asked as she moved closer to Faith, backing her up towards the wall near the fridge. "I'm not supposed to feel this way about you either."
"Feel what way?"
"Like I want you," she said softly, her eyes slowly meeting Faith's as Faith backed right up against the wall, feeling as if she was trapped. "Like I want to kiss you."
"This is just the alcohol talking, Buffy."
"What if it's not?"
"It is," Faith said shakily. "It has to be. No way in hell would you ever want me if you were sober."
She laughed in disbelief as Buffy stepped back from her. She knew she was right. She had to be right. The alcohol was clouding Buffy's judgement, making her feel things she never normally felt before. Her heart was racing as Buffy stepped towards her again and reached for her hands. She was shaking too and her eyes were brimming with tears as Faith looked at her. She tried to come up with reasons why Buffy was acting this way aside from the alcohol. Maybe being lonely was getting to her, maybe she was just settling for what was there instead of finding something real with someone else.
"Buffy..." she whispered as she let go of her hands. "Don't do this. You're gonna wake up tomorrow and it's gonna go back to the way it was and you're gonna forget this. Don't fucking play this game, okay?"
"I'm not playing any games, Faith. I know it's...new for me to feel this way, but the last couple of days I just...I feel something different. I told myself when we left Sunnydale behind that I would stop running from the things that feel right, that feel real."
"This is not real."
"No?" Buffy raised an eyebrow was she stepped even closer to Faith, their bodies just inches apart. "Feels pretty real to me. Faith?" Buffy reached up and gently ran her fingers over her jaw, turning her head so she'd look at her. "Why are you afraid of this?"
"Cos, B. It's not gonna be like this tomorrow. This is just...a mistake. You're confused, you're lonely, and you're drunk. If this is how you really feel then we'll talk about this tomorrow and if it's not, we'll just forget about this, okay?"
Buffy shook her head as she stepped away slowly, turning her back to Faith as she wiped away the tears that fell. Faith felt the pang in her heart pull her down and she felt her own tears about to fall. She couldn't let this get to her. It was just a mistake. The alcohol was playing games with both of their feelings and Faith didn't want things to go this way. She couldn't let things go this way and ruin the friendship they were slowly building together.
No matter what she felt for Buffy and how much she did actually want her, she had to wait until they were sober and talked about it first. She was about to push herself off the wall when Buffy turned back to look at her and before she could even take a breath, Buffy's lips were on hers, kissing her so softly as if she was unsure. She didn't push Buffy away as she melted with the tender kiss. She just wrapped her arms around her and kissed her back in yearning.
Forgetting what consequences the next day might bring, Faith just let herself get lost in the kiss she'd never thought would happen between them.
