The song Tainted Love has always reminded me of my father. No, not because of that but because despite my love for him and despite all I had given him, he always wanted more. I finally ran away from the pain he had caused me when I realised that this wasn't going anywhere. I will not worship the Dark Lord, no matter how much I love my parents. Sometimes I think I sound like an abused housewife. Saying that I love him and he loves me and he is my father and I must help him.

That night, in the tower, Dumbledore made me realise that I was free. I didn't have to kill him because I love my father. If I truly loved my father I would let Dumbledore live and destroy Voldemort.

Sometimes, I sit on my own in a room and play sad songs that make me think of them all: the Death Eaters, the Order, my family, my friends and my enemies. It is then when I want to give up; it is then when I see the hopelessness of the situation. Sometimes, I get out a dagger and score lines across my skin; I see the blood well up and feel the pain and know I am still alive. I was doing this when she came in. I tried to hold the dagger and my arm before she could notice but I was too slow.

"Why do you have a dagger?" she asked softly.

"None of your goddamn business!" I yelled, surprised at her softness towards me.

"Really? You do realise this is our common room, as in both of ours. So if you have a dagger in a room which is partially mine…" Ginny countered.

"Yes, but it is my dagger and my common room too. Besides, I was just doing research for the next DADA class."

"Fine, I'll ask Tonks."

"You do that," I finished, knowing that she wouldn't. I got up and walked towards my room.

"You can't keep your secret forever," her voice called from behind me.

*

Why the hell was he holding a dagger? He better not be betraying us… but it didn't look like he was doing anything evil. His eyes showed desperation; usually they don't show anything at all. Malfoy seems to have no emotions but just now I saw something in his eyes. When he had told me to go see Tonks I think he was just bluffing, not expecting me to go, but I'll go and tell her anyway.

I first became friends with Tonks because she's like me, but I later realised she's great at giving advice and cheering me up when I feel down. She helped me to accept the fact that Harry and I had broken up and that I never cared about him as much as I thought I did. I cared about him as a friend but the person I loved was someone I had made up inside my mind.

As I walked towards Tonks's room I mulled over what I would tell her. Draco hadn't seemed strange before what I saw in the common room but…he hadn't insulted me as much as usual and he hadn't cursed anyone lately. I knocked on the portrait frame and waited for Tonks to open it, she had told me the password but I didn't want to interrupt anything. Tonks's rooms were near mine and the entrance portrait was a young girl skipping in a bright pink dress.

"Tonks…Tonks, come on," I called. No answer. "Oh screw that! 'Colourful change'."

I walked in as the portrait swung open. As I finished clambering through the portrait hole I looked up and froze. Oops! Guess that's why she didn't come open the portrait. The scene I saw was either gross or comical. If I saw Tonks as a professor then I was seeing two professors in a state of semi undress…but mainly I just thought it was funny. And embarrassing.

"Sorry Tonks, Remus. Didn't mean to interrupt," I apologised blushing as I moved away from the sofa.

"No, it's OK, you did knock," Remus answered, pulling on his shirt. I looked away, trying to get my cheeks back to their usual shade. When Remus said I could I sat on the sofa, my cheeks still pink "I assume that there is a reason you are here other than as a social visit."

"Yeah, otherwise I would have left you two alone," I replied blushing again. Oh, the curse of being red haired and fair skinned.

"So what's bothering you?" Tonks asked, leaning into Remus on the armchair.

"Draco Malfoy," I said, focusing back on what was important.

There was a pause in which Remus and Tonks glanced at each other and then back at me.

"What," Remus asked slowly, "exactly did he do?"

And so I explained to them the scene I had witnessed, the knife, the music and his behaviour recently. When I finished they sat there for a moment thinking over what I had told them.

"Well, we all know Draco didn't exactly have the easiest childhood and his actions lately have greatly affected and changed his life. Perhaps you simply witnessed the consequences of these actions," Remus suggested.

"I never knew him before but he certainly seems…distant," Tonks pondered.

"He's always been aloof but it's different now, it's like he's shut down." Ginny contemplated this idea before coming to a decision. "Well whatever it is I'm going to find out."

"Be careful Ginny. It'll be hard to get through to him and while he isn't a Death Eater he is still a powerful wizard who is not a good guy."

"I know. But I will find out what is going on," Ginny said to them determinedly.