A.N. I'm baaaaack! After rereading the previous chapters, I finally worked up the nerve to get back to this crack. I just hope it doesn't get viciously attacked like EnK was. This wasn't even mean't to be a serious story, just a comedic vent. I also became tipsy halfway through this chapter. Now, have at ye, poxy curs! I don't own Naruto or Star Wars. They are the property of Masashi Kishimoto and Lucasarts respectively. Jace is me, if you havn't figured it out by now. And last time I checked, I do kinda own ME...

Jace dragged Naruto by the collar to their quarters, periodically trying to console his friend in his despair upon realizing that this world didn't have ramen. Jace was almost equally upset that he couldn't find anything remotely close to vodka, even at the local bars. That said, he was craving a buzz of some kind and discovered that the Republic was devoid of any drinks like those on his homeworld.

"I'm sorry you can't get ramen here, baka, but you know that not everyone has your favorite food in store." Jace rubbed his chin thoughtfully, still dragging the blonde ninja, which elicited many stares from the nearby younglings and their Masters. He ignored any objections vocalized by the Troll, who was apparently furious that the two had sneaked away from the temple against orders. "But I don't have any vodka, sake, rum... I HAVE NO BOOZE! I need my fix so I can deal with your hyperactive, dumb ass, not to mention the old men who seem dead set on obtaining samples of our DNA for their testing bullshit." He hauled Naruto to his feet, staring his destitute friend in the eyes.

"But, but but... ramen..." Naruto looked like he was about to break down again before Jace lost his patience again.

The taller blonde cranked his arm back and loudly smacked Naruto across the face, snapping him out of his stupor. "Get a hold of yourself, man!" Jace put a finger in Naruto's face. "You will survive without your broth-drowned noodles and vegetables, just like I have to survive without my 80 proof alcohol. If it makes you feel any better, I'm really close to synthesizing both in the Temple's basement levels." Jace opened the door to theiri room and moved his pointing finger to gesture to the room. "Now, you sit right their until I come back. I'll have your edible high blood pressure up here in twenty minutes." He shoved Naruto into the room and closed the door, turning around to see a furious Cin Drallig glaring at him, the veins on the sides of the old man's head pulsing with his fury.

"You have ALCOHOL in the Temple?!" The man thundered. "Such things are expressly forbi... urk!" He was cut off by Jace firmly kicking him between the legs.

Jace stared the pained man in the face, a look of almost lethal seriousness painted across his features. "I will say this to you once, old man." The Troll made eye contact, his former rage quenched by the searing pain of having his manhood nearly annihilated. "I. Will. Have. My. Liquor. And you can't stop me." Jace took one step before lightly pushing Cin Drallig over, causing the old man to fall over. He walked away, leaving the Weaponsmaster in a fetal position, who occasionally released a high-pitched moan of pain. Jace looked back once, muttering to himself, "Hmph, puny Troll." He continued walking, his destination: the basement.

Jace returned exactly twenty minutes later, the Troll was still in his pitiful position. He nudged the old man with his foot. "Oi, old man. I have some old-fashioned anesthetic for you." Cin looked up at the blonde slowly. From the backpack he'd stored next to the distillery hardware, Jace pulled out a glass bottle filled with a clear liquid. "It'll take about ten minutes, but your pain will be gone and you can lighten up a bit. It's called vodka, but I call it the Chrytos Revelry. A liter of 100 proof happy juice." He set the bottle down within the man's reach. "Enjoy!" Jace entered his quarters, closed the door behind him, and looked around the room. He found no trace of Naruto anywhere.

Jace set his backpack down, slowly retrieving a large sealed container. He opened the top, releasing the pungent smell of noodles, MSG, and chicken into the air. This was a five liter vat of nothing but his attempt at chicken ramen. He pulled out another object from his pack: a sign with a picture of a chibi Naruto and an arrow pointing down. He planted the sign on top of the bucket of noodles, laid down on his bed, and waited.

In less than five minutes, Naruto appeared, crashing through the durasteel door. "I smell divinity..." Jace was preoccupied with his vodka, but still managed to drunkenly gesture toward the bucket of death in the middle of the room.

"Youhugmmme, yyyoudie." Even in his plastered state, Jace managed to deliver what was becoming his signature glare, made worse by the fact that his eyes were partially bloodshot. Somehow, despite the apparent laws of biological physics that existed for everyone, Jace had managed to become totally shit-faced in four minutes and was in his temporary recovery phase.

"I LOVE YOU!" Naruto yelled before all but diving headfirst into the bucket of ramen. "Oh, sweet Kami, how I missed you, ramen..."

Jace became sober temporarily as he stared at Naruto. "I swear to the gods, if you try to fornicate with that vat of edible death, I will never make it again." At this, Jace passed out drunk.

One of the great rules of the universe reads as such: Never wake up a hungover blonde. Despite the existence of such wisdom, Cin Drallig made it his personal mission to awaken his students at their usual hour. He was not prepared for the resulting misfortune. The carnage at that moment was as follows.

Shortly after his usual banging on the door, which had been replaced after Naruto demolished it to get his ramen fix, the Troll waited for the usual groans of his groggy students' stirring. He was met with an eerie silence. He banged on the door louder, which was the first sign that a small apocalypse was to occur. After being met with further silence, Drallig opened the door. This was when all hell broke loose.

It seemed that a hidden trait from Jace's family had been awakened by his hungover state. This occurrence was referred to, by the population of the Temple and eventually those who resided in the surrounding area, as the Demonic Awakening. As the door opened, Jedi Master Cin Drallig was met with a sight that would cause lesser individuals to faint on the spot. Glowing red eyes peered from the pitch black of the inside of the room, joined by another set of equally glowing blue orbs. From this visage of what appeared to be the depths of hell given form, a growling pair of voices resounded from the shadows.

"GET OUT." The two words resonated throughout the entire temple, frightening a majority of the younglings into a state of despair and tears. Even the Troll was beginning to question his sanity until a force of pure evil could be felt from the room. Jace stalked out, his eyes bleary and bloodshot, and his face displaying nothing but unadulterated murderous rage. Naruto stalked out as well, but his face was stuck in a fox-like grin that promised much suffering. As it so happens, this was not only the first time Jace had experienced a hangover, but the same for Naruto. A visible red aura radiated from Naruto, while the air around Jace simply seemed to bend away from his own body.

"I rise with the sun, old man." Jace growled lowly. "I said this before."

Naruto's voice was distorted slightly, sounding more feral. "I feel like hell, and you woke me up for this?"

Both spoke, or rather, shouted, in unison, causing the whole Jedi Temple to shake violently. "YOU WILL PAY FOR WAKING US!"

Cin Drallig used to fame himself for having never backed down from any enemy, being a master of his emotions after his many years in the Jedi Order. He could hold his own against the stone-faced Master Windu in a battle of wills. Yet, at that moment, the Order was privy to a historical moment.

The Troll, while running away, screaming like a small child, pissed himself.

Jace and Naruto stared after where he'd run for a few short moments before looking at each other, shrugging, and going back to bed.

Three hours later, Jace stumbled out of the room, freshly drunk to attempt to relieve the last vestiges of his hangover. He was not, however, totally hammered. He simply drank enough that he could escape the vaccinations he'd been scheduled for that day. It was partially for naught, however, as he was apprehended by none other than Master Windu, who dragged the boy off to the Temple clinic.

"Fuck needles, and fuck vaccines. I'll risk getting sick, I don't want you to take my blood, either." Jace had a slight slur to his speech, but was otherwise uninhibited. "That said, the oxygen deficient state of my blood prevents any safe or accurate extraction of my red blood cells and plasma. Any break in the walls of my blood vessels provides a risk to my health. That said..."

"That said," Windu interjected. "You will still be present for your testing and vaccinations. Unlike most other planets, those that belong to the Republic have access to technology that can account for alcohol in the bloodstream."

Jace produced a look of dejection at this. "Well, maledetto..." He sighed and stood up straight, proceeding to follow the Jedi Master of his own volition. "Fine, I'll play along for now. On one condition."

At this, the Master's eyebrow raised. "And what would that be?"

Jace smirked, an evil glint in his eye. "Some time with the Republic troopers at their shooting range on this planet. I want to play with your military's toys."

Once Windu and Jace made their way to the medical facilities, Jace started going into his "ooh and aah" mode as he saw all of the advanced technology into the clinic. He was even more fascinated by the droids, which he determined with no input from the Jedi that they ran on a form of artificial intelligence programming. Despite his constant pleading, Master Windu denied Jace the opportunity to disassemble any of the droid to examine their inner workings. At this Jace seemed like a child who had been denied a piece of candy.

"But I want to play with the advanced tech..." Jace whined as a needle entered his arm to take a sample of his blood and another to inject his vaccines. "I'm an engineer... this is like Christmas mixed with Halloween and New Years, but without the alcohol..."

Mace Windu had dealt with a wide variety of people in his time with the Order, including a young Anakin Skwalker, whose need to disassemble every piece of equipment that crossed his path got the young man into trouble on more than one occasion. Now, witnessing an almost identical form of behavior in the blonde soldier from an uncharted planet, the Jedi Master wondered whether it was such a good idea taking him anywhere near the facilities that held technology centuries beyond his home world's.

"You can have your fun with some of the older models, but not these." Windu said sharply. "These droids are in perfect working condition, and I don't need you... HEY! Get away from that console!" Jace had found a data access point in the clinic and was preoccupied with reading the mind-boggling amount of information he could find stored away in the computer system. "You're not allowed to... Did you just make it translate everything into your written language?"

Jace looked back with a grin. "It had a sampling algorithm, so I input a basic phrase that comprised all twenty-six letters in my alphabet, designated sounds made by the letters in multiple contexts, and it complied." Jace made a muscular pose, looking like a cheesy superhero. "All computers become my bitch with just a few minutes of use, these are no different." He looked at the Jedi Master, who was rubbing his temples. "Bow down to my awesomeness!"

Windu knew that he was now in for a very long day.

After developing an individual access ID for the mildly insane blonde, Master Windu unleashed Jace Chrytos on the databanks of the Jedi Temple's library. The librarian, Master Jocasta Nu, immediately fell in love with the boy's insatiable appetite for knowledge, giving him access to every schematic, programming setup, system configuration, and record of usage for every form of technology that had existed since the founding of the Republic. Several millenniums' worth of information was loaded onto a large stack of datapads for the young man, who proceeded to hug the elderly woman and sing his praises of how nice she was, shocking every other individual in the library, who only knew the librarian for her strictness on the use of her library's computers.

Jace waved goodbye to Master Nu as he walked off with a box brimming with fully loaded datapads, grinning with a mix of joy and mild evil. He knew that he'd be able to drag Naruto into helping with the intake of the almost unholy amount of information he'd just burdened himself with. "She was very nice when I said that I wanted everything on engineering and modern technology. I don't think I'm gonna be bored for a few weeks."

Windu raised an eyebrow at this. "You do know that the information in your hands is over 25 thousand years of technological advancements, right. That knowledge will take you years to read and comprehend..."

"Nah," Jace said simply. "The entire first twenty thousand years had virtually no significant advancements, beyond this 'hyperspace' stuff and the refinement of weapons tech. Even the design for those," He pointed to the lightsaber at the Master's hip. "Has remained almost completely the same for fifteen thousand years, but with a few changes made for the stability of the plasma beam and a reduction in the heat that should theoretically be transferred throughout the metal of the whole machine, eventually resulting in the melting of the internal circuitry. Honestly, something like that shouldn't even exist, but it does." Mace Windu simply stared in disbelief as an individual he regarded as a primitive child rattled off the basics of the early design of the Jedi Order's signature tool. "Same with this hyperspace nonsense. Physics on my planet say that it's impossible for an object to accelerate to the speed of light, and it appears that's true everywhere. So, your ancestors came up with a way to counteract the inertial backlash of sudden acceleration to FTL speeds, and made it possible to snap from sublight speeds to several times the speed of light with the use of a mass reduction core and an almost identical mass re-stabilization system for when your onboard computers signal that you're nearing your coordinates. All of this happening while a special shield around the ship prevents its occupants from turning into particulate mush."

Master Windu's jaw, meet the floor. Floor, meet Master Windu's jaw.

"You learned that in three hours?" He said, still in severe shock.

Jace looked at the Master with a 'duh' expression. "What the fuck did you think I was gonna do while that upload to these datapads was taking place? Contemplate my navel?" The young man snorted derisively as he continued toward the main hall of the Temple to start reading on the modern technology.

Eventually, while the two continued in silence, Windu's comlink beeped.

"Master Windu, this is Knight Jat-sek. We have the results on the tests for that boy's blood, and it's a bit shocking..."

"It can't be any more shocking than what I just witnessed today..."

"What do you mean, Master?"

"A mere child just went through our archives and obtained an understanding of lightsabers and hyperspace technology in the space of three hours."

"Oh... That is quite shocking..."

"I know. But, you said you have his blood results? What do his midichlorian counts look like?"

"Master, I don't know how to say this, but it's baffling."

"Spit it out!"

"The system yielded a count of just over 19 thousand. We checked and rechecked, but the numbers don't lie. That young man is almost on par with Padawan Skywalker."

"Thank you for that, now..."

"There's something else, Master."

"Oh?"

"Jace Chrytos' body appears to be able to directly absorb latent energy from his surroundings. We discovered this when his cells were not only teeming with midi-chlorians, but appeared to be generating their own form of natural energy. A similar reading was discovered in Uzumaki's blood, albeit a different kind of energy, and his midi-chlorian count, as you know, was slightly lower than Jace's. If you could ask them about this..."

"I'll get right on that. Thank you, Knight Jat-sek."

"You're welcome, Master Windu."

Mace deactivated the comlink, then looked to Jace, who had a mischievious grin on his face.

"What are you planning, boy?"

Jace's eyes then developed a glint that spoke volumes of what he could be thinking. "Have you ever had vodka, Master Windu?"