Chapter 22

Tim surfaced, sputtering, panicked, flailing...until he realized how close he was to the side...and that he could touch the bottom of the pool. He grabbed for the side and pulled himself over...but he couldn't get out of the pool. He was shaking too much to do anything but lean his head against the side and try to calm down.

You're such a weakling! A few bad dreams and you fall apart! It really is a good thing you quit. Now, you can get away from them and NCIS can rise in quality a little bit.

Even with his mind berating him, he couldn't stop the trembling, not for ten minutes or more. He simply clung to the side and tried to calm down.

He remembered where he was now. Matt's house. He had come here to house sit. That's right. He wasn't in Norfolk. He wasn't in any danger.

You were never in danger. Those fools you investigated didn't pose any sort of threat. Look at how easy it was to take them down! Get a hold of yourself!

When he figured he could pull himself out, Tim got out of the pool, clothes streaming water. Jethro padded over to him and stopped just out of reach. He whined softly.

"Yeah, where were you?" Tim asked and then was embarrassed at how shaky his voice was. "I thought pets were supposed to save their masters."

Jethro's ears drooped.

Suddenly, Tim was possessed of a strong desire to have someone close. No one was...but Jethro was there. He scooted back from the side of the pool and gestured.

"Come here, Jethro."

Jethro's ears went up, but he hesitated.

"Please?" Tim asked.

Jethro whuffled at him and then trotted close. Tim put his arms around the German shepherd and buried his face in Jethro's fur.

Tim could feel the need to weep...but he wouldn't, not even now. He just hugged his dog until he stopped shaking...but he felt cold. Really cold. Even the parts of him that were dry were cold. Even worse was the fact that he still felt terrified, as if he had faced near death instead of a brief dunking in a swimming pool. It was ridiculous that he could feel that way.

"Thanks, Jethro. I'm...going inside now." He let Jethro go and stood up on shaky limbs. He was annoyed with himself when he noticed that his hand was still shaking as he opened the back door.

"Stupid," he said to himself. "Idiot. What were you thinking? It was just a dream."

Jethro was beside him as he walked inside. Tim looked down.

"It was just a dream, Jethro." He shivered again.

As quickly as he could, he went upstairs, changed into dry clothes and got in bed, burrowing under the covers. He still felt an unearthly chill in his bones.

However, when he felt Jethro's comforting weight at his back, he closed his eyes and fell asleep again.

...but he didn't sleep for long.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

"Hey, Sarah! We're all going down to the pub. You in?"

Sarah shook her head. "No. Thanks though. I have to call my parents."

"Your parents are taking precedence over drinks?"

"It's Monday!" Sarah said and laughed. "Sorry, Mad. This is an important call."

"All right. Everything okay?"

Sarah nodded. "I think so."

"You need anything?"

"Nope. I'm good. Thanks."

Sarah waved her friends away and then dialed. It would be expensive, but Tim had worried her. He rarely got angry at her, and he had seemed...different. She wasn't sure just how or why, but he wasn't acting like himself.

"McGees."

"Hey, Dad."

"Sarah! And calling from the wonderful land of Winston Churchill!"

"Oh, Dad. You really need a new hero."

"Never. What's up?"

"Have you talked to Tim yet?"

"No. Not yet. He left us a message last week, but when I tried to call him, the number was out of service. We gave him until Sunday to call us back. He didn't want us to."

"So you pretended to go along with what he wanted."

"Of course. That's the mark of a good parent."

"I'll remember that. What did he tell you?"

"Nothing other than that he was back and he was safe. He sounded tired."

"When he talked to me, he sounded wrong." Sarah sighed. "I don't know, Dad. Something is off about him. He wouldn't talk to me for very long, and he said his phone number had changed but he didn't tell me what the new number was...like he didn't want to talk to me."

"Do you know if he talked to Matt at all?"

"Oh! I didn't even think of Matt! I should have. I bugged him often enough while Tim was gone."

"I may call him myself. You've got me worried now, Sarah."

"Good. I hate being the only one...and it's not like I can do anything from here."

"To be honest, if Tim doesn't want to talk to us, then it's not likely that we can do anything either. ...but we can try. Did he tell you what he'd been doing?"

"No. He just said that he was keyed up...and that it had been a long time."

"Well, it was that, and I have to admit that I don't know what to think or guess about this."

"You mean you don't have all the answers, Dad?"

"You should know by now that your parents usually don't have all the answers. We just put up a good front."

"I love you, Dad."

"You should remind me more often. I'm getting old. I might start forgetting."

"Oh, Dad. You can tell Mom, too."

"Wow. What brought on this outpouring of love?"

"I don't think I've ever lived away from family before," Sarah said. "I don't know if I like it all that much."

"Well, enjoy the experience...but stay safe."

"I will. Bye, Dad."

"Good-bye, Sarah."

Sarah hung up and thought about it. It was very unlike Tim to stay out of contact with them. Even back in college, he would call occasionally and write more often. She was worried, but there wasn't anything she could do, not if she couldn't contact him.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

"Tim, what did you do to your phone?" Abby muttered at the computer. "I should be able to trace it, especially if you use it...even once. Even if you took out the GPS...even if it's out of service. What did you do?"

Another negative. The only reason she was still trying was because she figured that, even if it was deep down, Tim really did want someone to find him. This was Tim, after all...and even if he was angry at them for whatever reason, he wouldn't want to be alone.

"Abby...I did not know if you would still be here."

Abby turned around. "Hey, Ziva. I was about to give up for tonight. Why are you still here?"

"Give up?"

"Uh...nevermind. Why?"

Ziva sighed. "You have heard about McGee?"

"Yeah. Do you know why he quit?"

"Not exactly. I can guess."

"You can?" Abby asked in surprise. "Why?"

"Because of being undercover."

"Well, I could guess that! I thought you'd be more specific. He's been weird since he got back."

"Yes...but he was acting strangely before we came back. I realize now that he was angry at us."

"Why?"

"I am...not sure, but...it could be that he did not appreciate how we acted. Tony and I...we were jealous that he was chosen to be undercover."

Abby looked at Ziva in confusion. "Jealous? Why would you be jealous? It's undercover work! Not a Christmas present...or Hanukkah, I guess. He was working hard!"

"Yes. I know. We were being stupid."

"Duh! ...but you didn't do it for very long, right? I mean, it was only at the beginning right? You guys wouldn't be..."

Ziva looked distinctly uncomfortable.

"You would be?" Abby asked. "How could you be stupid for a long time? You guys aren't stupid! I mean, you've done stupid things before...everyone does sometimes, but come on! This is Tim! He never does undercover work! He's a geek, and just this one time he got picked to do something really hard and challenging and difficult and stuff and you guys were jealous and...and acted like you were jealous? Are you really that dumb? I've been dumb before, but it didn't last for months! Please tell me that it didn't last for months. It didn't, right?"

"I did not think so, but I could be wrong."

Abby turned back and looked at the monitor. The search was running...but right now, she didn't want any of them to know what she was doing. With a decisive stroke, she stopped the search. She would work on it tomorrow when none of them were around.

"I thought that Gibbs was bad when he blew me off about something being wrong...but...did you know that something was wrong?"

"I should have."

"But you didn't?"

Ziva sighed. "Abby, I do not know. All I know is that McGee quit. It could only be from the undercover operation...and he apparently hates us all enough to have sabotaged our computers before he left. He did not bother to tell us he was quitting."

"Ziva?"

"Yes?"

"Why are you telling me this now?"

"I do not know that, either...but Tony is trying to pretend that nothing is wrong. Gibbs is saying nothing at all. I feel that something is wrong and that, to some degree, I am to blame for it. I want to do something, but I do not know what to do now. McGee has been one of my closest friends. Now, I have lost him...and I did not even notice that I had."

"I don't know what to tell you, Ziva," Abby said, not feeling particularly sympathetic. "You noticed a bit too late."

"I know."

"I'm going home now."

"Yes. All right."

Abby walked by Ziva and then stopped just before she got to the elevator.

"Ziva?"

"Yes?"

"You're not going to get Tim back by feeling sorry for yourself," she said, surprised at her own ferocity...but knowing that apparently Tim had been driven away by the actions of the other people she also cared for put her in a bad position and she hated trying to navigate between anger at them and caring for them. So she got on the elevator quickly and left.

Hopefully, she'd be able to find where Tim was in the morning.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

Midnight rolled around, and Tim was still in bed...but not asleep. He'd awakened from another nightmare hours before, scared Jethro away, and had stayed under the covers but hadn't slept again since then.

Finally, Jethro whimpered at him and reminded him of his responsibilities.

"Jethro, I'm sorry," he said and threw off the covers. "I should have fed you hours ago. ...oh, and I'm supposed to put the pool cleaner thing in the pool."

He got up and headed down the stairs, Jethro on his heels. He quickly fed his dog and then walked out to the pool. It didn't take long to get the cleaner situated...but Tim found that he didn't want to go back inside. He was shivering again, but...

Why would frogs come and drown in the pool? Why would they keep doing it?

Tim sat down on one of the deck chairs...and waited. He wanted to see it happen. He wanted to see the frogs drown. Shaking, he curled up on the chair and watched.

...all night.

...and the frogs came. Not a lot, just a few, but three or four. He watched them in a kind of morbid fascination as their dark shapes hopped across the light-colored pool side...and then flopped into the water. There was some splashing. One frog actually made it back out and then hopped away. The others drowned.

...and their bodies were slowly sucked down to the bottom of the pool and into the pool cleaner.

Tim watched every one of them die...and watched them all get sucked into the cleaner.

It took all night, but it meant that he didn't have to try and sleep. He could watch the frogs instead.

...but he never stopped shaking.