Episode: Unknown Subject

If Hotch had been confused when he had read about Emily reaching out to her mother then he was very confused about the whole Sergio thing.

Ah, the Sergio thing. Emily had brought him over from Garcia's when she'd gotten back. For one night, she had said. He just needs to remember me and then he can go back to Garcia's. But then, of course, she hadn't planned for Jack to be home on that night (or... had she?). Or the following night, when he pleaded and begged and cried for Sergio to come back. A pet was never a good idea, with the job they had and it was an even worse idea considering the fact that Jessica was allergic to cats and therefore couldn't take him in.

But Emily, being Emily, realised that if she left Sergio at Garcia's and Jack at Jessica's then after a case was over, Hotch could go with Garcia to pick up Sergio and Emily could take the car to pick up Jack and then drive over to grab Hotch. It was a truly flawless plan.

Except Hotch hated Sergio. And Sergio loved Hotch. He clawed, he meowed, he jumped and he yowled. All of this at 3 AM and on top of Hotch. Even with the door firmly shut against intruders, still he managed his way in. And it didn't help that Emily would always coo and hug him and scratch him in that one place behind his ears so he would flop down on top of Hotch's head and purr for hours.

Hotch still swore that the moment Sergio peed on anything worth $5 or more, he was gone. Emily just continued to sprinkle catnip over Hotch's head.

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"Hey," Emily glanced down at her nails, proud that she'd gotten this far without biting them. The little white ends were beginning to show and she wondered if she could last long enough to get a manicure with Garcia.

"Hey."

"I'm sorry; I thought you said 10:30." Emily leaned down to sit across from Hotch, craning her neck ever so slightly to see what file he was reading now.

"I did, for you. Have a seat." Emily sat, frowning now. She recognised when they weren't in home mode and this was one of the professional times. "I received Dr. Meryl's evaluation; I just wanted to review it with you."

"Here?" Emily set her bag down, still trying to read what her doctor had said about her.

"Well, I get tired of being profiled through my office window." Emily had to agree, the team did get nosy about their relationship.

"Well, what is there to discuss? She gave me a clean bill of health."

"Patient shows no hesitation tackling difficult calls as part of reintegrating into her life. She has reached out to her mother," Hotch paused giving Emily a pointed look. He would have known if she had. Most likely via a very expensive purchase or a string of broken objects.

"I'm going to."

"-and has started a romantic relationship with a man named Sergio."

Emily licked her lips, looking down somewhat awkwardly. "Mhm."

"Now, I don't care if you lie to your therapist. All I care about is how your behaviour affects your job." And if Sergio is going to continue being part of your life.

"Well, I don't think it has."

"You've been overcompensating." Hotch studied Emily as she immediately became defensive.

"How have I..."

"You rushed to repair your relationship with Morgan. You've become an emotional sounding board for Reid and Rossi."

"That's being a good friend." Emily retorted.

"You offered me parenting advice."

"O-Okay, so maybe I have been working a little bit harder to regain people's trust. Is that such a bad thing?" It had turned to a plea now, Emily hoping she could find solace in Hotch's words.

"No," He paused, choosing his words carefully. "It only is if you use it to avoid dealing with what you went through."

"But I'm not," Emily took a deep breath, trusting Hotch more than anyone else she knew. But that didn't mean she felt like she wanted to spill everything she felt surrounding Doyle with him. "I chose to come back here. Why? Because I care about the people I work with? Yes. But also because it's clean. I know who the good guys and the bad guys are. I don't have to worry about screwing someone over to make a case."

"Mmkay," Hotch studied Emily, his girlfriend, the woman he loved, his hot date (according to Rossi) and realised that she was keeping something from him. "I want you to make a deal with me. You're gonna go weeks, months even, feeling fine. Then you're gonna have a bad day. Just let me know when you do."

"And that's it?" Emily was sure that she hadn't gotten away scot-free, that this was nowhere close to the end of it. But it was for today at least.

"That's it."

"Deal."

Hotch tossed the file onto the table between them, dropping their professional guise along with it. "Sergio?"

"He is the perfect man," Emily replied bluntly. "He doesn't hog the covers and he poops in a box."

"I don't hog the covers."

"Well it isn't Serge."

"Jack, then."

"You going to call up Reid on what it means for me to lie about having a cat for a romantic interest?"

"I think I can gather my own facts from that."

Emily grinned, leaning forward for a kiss before she began pulling case files out of her bag. She sat back, opening up the plain brown folder, listening to Hotch's grumblings about cats and how they ruined everything.

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Hotch stepped into the airplane cabin warily. It had been a long case and for God's sake, he'd just put away a man who'd raped 12 women. Suffice it to say, he was exhausted, but one look at Emily's vacant expression as she gazed out the window, seated in the far corner of the plane and unmoving, Hotch knew he had more important things to do than sleep.

She tried to smile as he sat down but it was shaky and she immediately looked away, looking similar to a cornered animal, ready to fight or flee.

"I'm having a bad day."

Hotch leaned forward, studying Emily's face carefully. This was no time for his professional guise and he reached forward, tugging on Emily's wrists so he had her hands firmly grasped in his.

"What happened?"

"She just- He's dead, Hotch. He's dead and he's gone and he can never truly come back. Except he can. In nightmares or if I see someone who looks like him or someone with an Irish accent I just- what if it doesn't go away? I can't talk to a therapist because there's nothing to say. All I can do is just tell myself over and over that it isn't real and that he can't hurt me again." Emily looked up, facing Hotch full on and staring back into his eyes, her own pooling with tears. "What will happen when I can't keep telling myself that?"

"I'll be there," It rolled off the tongue easily but Hotch realised how true it was. He would be there. Every year and month and week and day, he knew he wouldn't leave her. "Emily, I'm not going to and nor do I want to leave you. I love you. God, I love you so much and I don't want you to feel like you're alone. You and Jack, you're the most important things in my life and I can't lose you a second time. Please, sweetheart, just promise me that you'll talk to me whenever you feel like this."

Emily took a shaky breath. Could she promise that? It wasn't as easy as swearing that she'd talk to him if he had a bad day, it was promising that she'd talk to him whenever she was scared of the unknown or having nightmares. She didn't know how she could do that. How she could trust someone so fully and completely with all of her problems.

"I can't do that. I can't make that promise, Aaron. I trust you, more than I do anyone else, but I can't promise that."

Hotch dipped his head, massaging Emily's palms between his fingers.

"I love you."

Emily's smile was watery, her voice as shaky as she suddenly felt.

"You gonna say that every time we talk?"

"Probably."

"Alright, I think I can be ok with that."

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Fix You - Coldplay