Oblivion-Chapter four, nothing more...


Chapter 4- The border patrol who lives under the bridge.

Link walks back into town to realize he went in a circle.

"What the hell?" Link walks back out and comes straight back in. "I'm taking the path south what the hell?" Link takes out the map. "Ohhhhh I'm holding the map sideways...I wish I had a person to help me know where I'm going. Like that fairy but very less annoying." Link then takes the correct path south and runs into a red ball that shoots nuts. "What the hell is that thing?" Link asks. "It looks like some ball with legs craping projectiles." The little monster cries a tear.

"I may look weird," It says. "But thats no reason to insult me!" The monster starts to cry.

"Whats wrong man?" Another red ball comes over.

"HE MADE FUN OF ME!"

"No I didn't!" Link exclaims.

"Alright men," The ball says. "Get ready!" Another 10 red balls come out and aim their noises (Or which ever end they're using) Towards Link. "FIRE!"


Link drags himself up a hill in much pain ready to cry. "They're so mean!" Link holds up his finger "They gave me a boo-boo on my finger!" Link then sees a random heart on the ground. "The heart will comfort my pain." Link then hugs the heart and the heart disappears and links "Boo-boo" Goes away. "I feel much better now!"

Link continues Down the path till a mole comes out of the ground. "Hey there little guy, want a cookie?" The mole then goes into the ground. "How rude!" The mole then comes back out with nine more of his friends stacked up on top of each other. "yays!" Link screams. "Acrobat moles!" Link then sits on a random bench with a bag of pop-corn and a cup of soda waiting for a show. The moles just scratch their heads.

"This guy is stupid, lets get out of here." One mole says then they leave into the ground.

"Hey!" Link exclaims. "I want my show!" Link then pouts, throws his food on the ground, and proceeds down the road.

Link stops at a bridge. "Hey look! A convenient bridge that looks not one bit suspicious." Link takes one step closer and a man comes out from under the bridge and jumps in Links way. Link gasps. "It's the border patrol!" The border patrol then turns on his stereo.

"I'm the border patrol,who lives under the briiiiiidge!" Link give the singing border patrol a 'what the hell' look. "It's required I sing to all passing bystanders." The border patrol says.

"Oh, please, continue." Link responds. The man continues on with his song.

"If you wanna come over, all you have to do is this, all you have to do is thiiiisssss...solve my math equation!" The border patrol then holds up a piece of paper with the worlds hardest math equation in history. "What is 2+2?" Link then turns to the camera.

"I need your help." Link says. "Will you help me answer the math equation?"

"Hell no." Says the gamer playing the game.

"Great!" Link says. "Now, to solve the problem, we're gonna need to take out our sword. Take out our sword!"

"I don't want to." Says the gamer.

"TAKE OUT THE FUCKING SWORD!" Link exclaims as the gamer takes out the sword. "Now, take the sword and slice the border patrols head off."

"Wait what?"


Link comes back on camera with a bloody sword. "We did it!" Link breaks into song. "We did it, we did it, hooray!" Link gives a thumbs up. "We did it! Thanks for helping!" Link continues up the path. Into the minish woods.


Link walks into the minish woods.

"This forest is very depressing...I LOVE IT!" Link frolics through the forest without a care in the world. Then he falls on the ground and lands flat on his face. He gets back up with mud and blood on his face. "My fan girls will hate me...i feel so alone!" Link then cries for the not true statement 'cause all his fan girls wanted to rape the little loner even more. Link then can't bare life and jumps in the lake nearby and reappears on the ground. "That makes no fucking sense but okay!" says Link. Then he goes down through the forest and come to a log in his path. "Oh no a log! This somehow prevents me from stepping on top of it and walking on it so I must find another path!" link then realizes he is lost. "Hmmm, I better consult the map." Link takes out the map and the map is asleep. "Map. I need your help!" The map starts to snore. "Maaap!" Snores even louder. "MAP GET YOUR FAT ASS UP BEFORE I BURN YOU!" The map immediately gets up and starts singing.

"I'm the map I'm the map I'm the-" The map is then hit in the head by a fairy.

"THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE GUILD HERE BITCH!" The f airy attacks the map

"SOMEONE HELP ME!" The map screams in pain.

"Hell no your on your own!" Link runs into the forest.

"NOOOOOO!"


Oblivion-and there you have it! The end of the border patrol and without a map, link is doomed...but not really.