Episode: Heathridge Manor

Emily lay still, the darkness seeping over her slowly, apologizing for the fact that she couldn't spend her life in the light. Emily rolled over to her side, Hotch lying flat on his back, one arm stretched across his forehead and the other wrapped loosely around Emily's waist. She sighed gently, turning away from him and slipping out of the bed, bare feet making no noise as she slipped out of the room.

Emily made her way out into the main room, leaning against the windowsill and looking outside, streetlights flickering and fading fast as she watched on. It had been a few nights since she had freaked out in the washroom at the diner. They'd all gone back into work yesterday to do paperwork, Derek and Reid giving her questioning looks that made Emily wonder what Garcia and JJ had told them. On that day, she'd ended up going back to the table after a few minutes, saying nothing and grabbing her coat to leave. Hotch hadn't said anything about it, but she could feel a kind of tension in the air.

She wished she could dispel it, she really did, but just the thought of getting married scared her more than she cared to admit. Marriage? She had thought about it. She had thought about it with Hotch. She had practically agreed to it, what with Jack and moving in with him.

Jack. What was going to happen with Jack? If she couldn't marry Hotch, then would she just leave him and Jack?

No. This was too much in too little time. For God's sake, he hadn't even proposed to her! She didn't even know if he wanted to propose! Emily shook her head, rubbing her eyes gently. It wasn't fair to freak out if there wasn't anything wrong. For a few seconds, she just sat there, choosing not to think about anything. And then she heard the sound of footsteps, gentle, like her own.

"Emmy?"

Emily turned, crouching down without a second thought and scooping Jack up into her arms.

"Hey, baby," Emily bit her cheek, frowning at Jack, who yawned sleepily. "What are you doing up right now?"

"You woke up first, Emmy." He blinked back at her, as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

"Yeah, did I wake you up, sweetie?"

"No, I couldn't sleep." Just to disprove his lie, Jack yawned again, Emily narrowing her eyes as he tried to stifle himself.

"Do you want me to read you a story?"

Jack smiled sleepily, nodding. Emily smiled too, walking into Jack's room and setting him down on the bed, grabbing a random book from his bedside table and glancing at the cover before cracking it open.

"Once upon a time there lived a kind old woman who had an only son named Jack..."

OoOoOoO

Hotch opened his eyes, words drifting from Jack's room. The lamplight from Jack's dresser led Hotch's path as he made his way down the hallway, poking his head in as Emily clicked off the light. She turned, jolting as she saw Hotch standing in the doorway. For a moment she didn't move and Hotch just tipped his head, mouthing, 'What happened?'

Emily twitched a smile as she gazed down at Jack. For a moment she looked conflicted, scared. Then, as if in a single second she had made up her mind about something, Emily turned towards Hotch, moving across Jack's room quickly, closing the door behind her and pulling him down by his faded t-shirt collar into a kiss.

"I love you, you know that, right?"

"Uh, yeah, I- I love you too?" Hotch frowned, puzzled as he leaned down for another kiss. "But if you hadn't realised, it's 4 in the morning, sweetheart."

"Yeah, let's go to bed."

Hotch dipped his head in agreement, turning to go back to their room. Emily paused, not following him as she gently pushed Jack's door open again, watching him curled up, arms wrapped around a stuffed bear that Emily had got him for his birthday.

She wasn't scared anymore. At least, not as much.

If terror falls upon your bed
And sleep no longer comes
Remember all the words I said
Be still, be still, and know

Be Still – The Fray