Wow, it's been a while. Trying to get back into the swing of things, but it's difficult. This one has been sitting, half finished, in Word for a while now, so I decided to run with it. I hope you like it!
66. Monster
Robin was sleeping peacefully in the hospital wing. Starfire was sitting by his side, chatting with a sick Beast Boy who was in the other bed, and all three of them being looked after under the watchful eye of Cyborg as he monitored the machines and made sure that everything was stable.
Raven smiled at them all, grateful that they were all safe and relatively happy. She disappeared with a press of black energy, reappeared in the bathroom and promptly threw up into the toilet.
The empath leaned her head against the cool wall and attempted to breathe deeply and calmly. She squeezed her purple eyes shut and tried to block out the images, the sounds, the feelings that she knew would never be leaving her head. There was simply too much stuffed in there now, too much that she was exposed to for her to ever try and get rid of. They were pounding in her brain so badly that Raven was surprised she was able to make it this long without breaking down.
When she had entered Robin's mind, she had had no idea what she was getting herself into. As soon as she was in there, she was overwhelmed by the essence that was Robin. He was so distinct with his thoughts, memories and emotions that it was like a fingerprint; there was no way that it could have been anyone else. And yet it was all so tangled, all so much that the only thing that kept her sane was that she held onto the thread that she must save Robin, she must help him or he would kill himself.
Anything less than that, anything at all, and she wouldn't have been able to focus enough to remove herself from Robin's mind.
It was so wrong, it was so wrong. She was never supposed to see that, any of it; no one was. That was Robin's private… it was his… he…
Despite her best efforts, a few rebellious tears made their way out of Raven's eyes as her shoulders shook. She clenched her fists and took a deep breath, hoping to settle her stomach before it tried to empty itself again. Had she known what she was about to do to both of them, had she had any idea at all…
The consequences of it would not be going away. Ever. She and Robin would have a mental bond forever, and there was nothing that the two of them could do about it. And now Raven knew… she knew about him. She knew about all of him. She had seen it, had felt it through him. Anger and fear and defiance and depression and pain stabbed and tore at her until she was in tatters. His soul, his essence melted into hers until she couldn't tell the two apart anymore.
From now on she would have his urges, his feelings, his thoughts invading her mind. The tinge of golden happiness would ring hr emotions, because that's what Robin was, he showed up in colors of purple determination and shining yellow happiness and red hot focus. And if she didn't learn how to control it, her thoughts would be leaking into his mind through that door she had opened in between them. Her thoughts didn't belong anywhere. Not even in her own head.
She bit her lip and sucked in deep breaths, feeling her body relax and settle and calm and—and she realized that these weren't her breaths. They were Robin's.
Raven's muscles shook with exertion and agitation, and some black tendrils of magic whipped out of the depths of her mind to lash at the mirror and crack the smooth, clean surface. She knew what she should do, what her mother and the others had taught her to do on Azarath ever since she could remember. But she cared too much for her team. And the mere thought of leaving them—of leaving Robin—sent a sick shiver down her spine. Their bond, their meld, so freshly made and ripe, was not going to allow her to be away from him.
And he was awake again. Her upset thoughts had interrupted his dreaming, and now he was on edge and skittish without knowing why. Raven was not looking forward to having a talk with Robin about the repercussions of her little escapade into his brain. Intelligent and logical as her team mate was, he could be irrational and even deeply unreasonable when it came to himself. But for once, Raven wouldn't be able to blame him for it. Just how far she crossed the line disgusted her to no end.
Her stomach rolled again. Raven closed her amethyst eyes and stood up, stumbling over to the sink so that she could wash her mouth out. A glance into the mirror distorted her face, and the empath decided that it would be best for both of them if she just went to sleep.
