Chapter 4

Confessions

The second time Sasuke supposedly woke up that morning he felt as numb and tired as if he was actually waking up in reality. However a few glances around the location he was in told him otherwise.

This was a follow up to the dream before he concluded. He had sometimes dreams that were linked to each other and in the process he would remember that he already had that dream.

As such he was already expecting to see Naruto again. Even if it was just a dream he didn't mind talking to him… In fact he wanted to talk to Naruto because it was just a dream.

However after waiting for five minutes, his impatience took the best of him and he decided to get out of the room and search for him. For some reason his limbs were heavy and it was difficult to move his arms and legs around at his will. How he managed to have the strength to get out of Naruto's hold he had no idea, or most likely he had spent all his energy on doing that.

His uneasiness urged him to hurry up though. He was too stubborn to just give up on his search just because he was bit slow and stiff. Ignoring his body's complaints the rogue pushed himself of the bed and forced his feet to bear the weight of his body. Immediately he could tell his knees would give up, and out of instinct his hands reached the bed for support, however his arms also failed to sustain his weight and he ended up falling on his knees rather roughly.

Frustrated and scared about not being able to stand, he tried once again, this time from the floor without the support of the bed which revealed to be a complete failure. Not wanting to fall into a panic state, he used the bed as a support to lift himself this time. His knees never shook so much in his entire life as bit by bit he was able to stand though shakily still leaning on the bed as support.

His breath was uneven from the effort, and that scared him, not because he doubted that this was a dream, but because this could be one of those dreams were he can't move no matter how much he tried. It was a reoccurring dreamed he had has a child that he absolutely detested, it was the manifestation of his feeling of helplessness and inability to move forward in life.

Feeling angered at the feeling he stubbornly kept standing although his knees would shake every time he attempted to move. The raven haired ninja turned around, and kept his eyes on the goal. He was going to walk to the door, open it and leave. He wasn't going to let this dream beat him, he would win. He just had to put his mind into it.

Giving the first step without needing support gave him one of the best feelings he could ever ask for, and as he grew confident with each step he give, the more the feeling grew. However the unexpected blurriness that penetrated his eyes and a feeling of sickness made him forget that his feet were supposed to carry his weight, and just like that his conscious was ripped away from him as he fell.

Sasuke regained his senses slowly without any recollection of falling. First, came the sense of hearing in which he heard someone call his name. It was an insistent voice, and somehow he picked up the worry in the words that he could not pick up because a nonstop ringing in his ears interfered. Secondly came the vision, blurry at first but it got better bit by bit. By that time he could already hear perfectly.

"Oi, Sasuke what happened?"

The rogue was frightened at the sudden realization of his surroundings, making the beat of his heart shoot like an arrow. He was confused this time, and while he wanted to move away and reply, he didn't have the strength to do so.

Naruto's face had been too close, but now as he tried to calm himself down, he started to remember what had happened. Although he recognized his dream and that he had felt dizzy and fell, he still couldn't find the energy to talk, and his attempt only seemed to make him weaker.

"Naruto, don't push him. He lost his senses so he just needs time. I'll be right back."

He was able to distinguish pink hair before the door close. He instantly related it to Sakura though he only got a glimpse of her.

"I tried to walk…", the onyx eyed ninja said slowly. "… I got dizzy."

"Teme, you scared the hell out of us! Sakura-chan was opening the door and the first thing I see is you falling forward. I only had time to reach for you before you hit the floor! I thought I wasn't going to make it again!"

"Hum… Again?"

"No…no, it's nothing. Are you feeling dizzy again?"

"No."

"Hum… do you remember anything?"

"About what?", the raven replied a bit to compliant.

"You don't want to kill me?"

"Dobe, why would I want to kill you?", Sasuke asked a bit torn between anger and sadness.

"Because you already did? I mean you attempted to kill me…not that you actually did kill me."

"You mean the valley of the end?"

"Huh, hum…yes."

The raven stared at the Naruto of his dream inquisitively. Why would he dream of this? Hadn't he already told his reason to the real Naruto? Was it because he didn't express himself clearly, not to Naruto but to himself? Was he not satisfied with what he told to the blond ninja and therefore he was dreaming of this?

"I know that it was a whim…"

"It's complicated.", the raven interrupted him.

The blue eyed ninja stopped just like Sasuke intended him to do.

"What I told you was just a resume of my reasons. As you might remember we didn't meet in the best moment to talk. For me to actually tell you the reason I would have to explain a lot, a whole life of reasons and complications that your poor brain can't keep up with because you don't know half of my story, and that it's not your fault because I never told you. I tried to tell you then, but obviously you couldn't understand where I was coming from and… I don't want to start at this point. Give me a second."

He looked at Naruto, who seemed completely dumbfounded at the sudden outburst he was having.

"Don't make a face like that, dobe or I'll simply quit and wait until I talk to the real you. And just so you know what I was going to say I'm never telling the real you! So, do you want to listen or not?"

"YES!"

"Usuratonkachi!"

He breathed in softly before continuing.

"I think you already know that my family was murdered by my brother, so that part doesn't need explanation, however it is very important so I have to start there. After suffering the pain of losing everything, I never took anything as granted again. I was angry at everyone and everything, but mostly my brother for taking everything away. I was also very hurt, and I promised myself that I would never feel this kind of pain again. That's why I never got myself involved with anyone back then, because I was angry and because I was afraid of being close to someone and have that someone been taken away from me again. I promised myself that I would never have anyone close to me, that I would be alone no matter what so I wouldn't feel the pain of losing anything again. I would grow strong in order to get revenge on my brother alone.

However that didn't last long after I joined team seven. Before I even realized you were already too important for me to lose you, even to the point of unconsciously protecting you with my own live. With all honesty I never hated you so much in my life! I still can't understand myself how the hell did I become so attached to you to the point of wanting to trade my life for yours when all we did was fight and tease each other! I broke the promise I did to myself and worse I kept breaking it over and over! With you, with Kakashi and Sakura.

But I knew you were going to be the end of me.

Have you any idea of the emotional stress you put me through every time I realized we were actually becoming closer knowing that if we did I would have to kill you?

Of course you wouldn't know. You didn't know that my brother told me to kill my best friend so I could become stronger in order to defeat him.

At that point I didn't care because I thought I was strong, and that I would become stronger, and that I didn't need help in order to become stronger. So I foolishly ignored my promised, ignored the upcoming disaster and decided to put my faith in you. And Naruto everything went down the hill from there. At the chunnin exams I realized how weak I was, and that you were becoming stronger. I realized that I wasn't going to kill Itachi the way I was but since I wasn't thinking of joining Orochimaru I relied on Kakashi. I still remember that creep saying that I would eventually go to him when I realized that my power wasn't enough.

And it wasn't.

When Itachi came to town and said he was going to hunt you, I was seeing my family murdered all over again. He was going to take you away from me, and I was going to be alone, hurting again and feeling helpless and weak for not being able to protect the people most important to me.

I fought him, and as you know it didn't end well. I spent two days in my personal hell over and over again. And by the time I came to I was so angry and frustrated at myself for being so weak that I wanted to prove to myself that I was still stronger than you. I didn't mean any of the words I spoke to you back then I was just so angry at the world, you, Itachi but mostly myself.

I realized I was weak, I realized I wouldn't get stronger in Konoha, and in my fury I remembered Orochimaru's words. Just like he said, I was going to him.

At the Valley of the End however I remember bits and parts, the seal was overwhelming me. I was feeling a sensation I never felt before. When you appeared, we fought, and I told you what I could. You just didn't understand because I didn't want you to understand. I was unfair to you all the time. And then that feeling overwhelmed me completely and the only thing I wanted was to kill you. I know now that that bloodlust was due to the seal, I never really intended to kill, even if a part of me wish to. I don't think that you would understand if I said that, before Itachi killed you and took you away I would rather kill you before him.

When the fight was over and you laid unconsciously on the floor the only thing I could think of was that, I couldn't follow your path, that we couldn't be together like you wanted us too. I couldn't walk next beside you because you and I are different. I realized I would rather be alone than hurting, and I knew that if I followed the same path as you I would end up hurting or worse, I would end up hurting you. Either way I decided, I was an avenger, and you… you would be a Hokage one day. I could have just killed you, I could've just give in into my brother's words, I could've just give in into my thirst for power, but on a whim I let you live.

I let you live on a whim. I decided I wanted you to live. That was my whim. Nothing more, and nothing less.

When you and your team found me at Orochimaru's lair I wasn't expecting. I had to fight you. It couldn't look like I had anything to with you. So I told you I was going to severe my bond with you. This was my way of telling you that you shouldn't pursue me anymore. I was a rogue by that time and if you kept searching for me while thinking of me as a friend you would eventually get hurt when I finally stopped going under the radar. I played my part so you would give up."

"How was I supposed to know that, Teme! You were fighting too seriously for just pretending."

"Dobe, I wasn't pretending! What do you think it would happen to me if Orchimaru found out about my real plan?

"What real plan?

"Dobe, I think you are thinking too low of me if you think I was just simply going to hand over my body to Orochimaru after the two and a half years was up. Do you really think I would grow strong, just too simply became someone else's tool?"

"Hum…"

"Usuratonkachi! You actually think I'm going to hand over my BODY just like that!"

"Oh."

"Dobe! That's why you will never be Hokage, you have nothing in your head!"

"Well, teme, not everyone gets to be a genius! Now what was the plan exactly?"

"The plan was to absorb Orochimaru rather than him absorbing me. It took a lot of training but I'm confident I'll overcome him. I only need him to be more weakened. After that I'll bargain with Suigetsu, I need him for the time being when I go look for my brother. I promised him Zabuza's sword in return he would accompany me until I found Itachi. I don't know what it may happen so I decided I would need a team before I went against Itachi. I'll go for Karen next. She's a special type of sensor as well as a healer. I'll need her power in order to find him, and warn of potential dangers. Next I'll go for Juugo. He's dangerous, powerful and bloodthirsty, but as long as I keep him under control with Sharingan he will be useful. After that I'll go look for Itachi and after killing him, I'll go back to Konoha."

"You're going back to Konoha?"

Sasuke could only stare at those piercing blue skies, and think of how deep they were just then. He didn't think he could actually dream of Naruto making such a surprised expression.

"Yes, that's the plan."

"You're really going back to Konoha!", the blond practically yelled.

"I don't like repeating myself. Wasn't I clear enough? Dobe why are you…?"

The Naruto of his dream pushed him suddenly into a tight embrace leaving him completely breathless, as if he wasn't on the verge of passing out already due to exhaustion.

If this was the real Naruto… well, first of all he just proved himself this was a dream. This was enough proof. The real Naruto would have punched him, shouted at him for being a bastard, and then soften up everything with one of his grins. The real Naruto would have never hugged him like this.

And since this wasn't real and only a dream he could enjoy without any shame or embarrassment the heat and comfort of his best friend. Until of course he was shoved away by the idiot.

"Now, I was quiet and I heard everything you said like a good Hokage should and now it's your turn to listen…"

The devious smile on the blonds' face made a shiver run down his spine.

Would you believe if he told you this wasn't the first time he dreamt with Naruto cornering him somewhere with that smile while he was powerless to stop an incoming doom?

Sasuke really didn't like where this was going… not in the least.


It has been ages... I haven't been inspired but I promise a new chapter by sunday.