Those voices, the whispers from the ghosts of their past, began haunting Faith, touching her in places that were so deep she couldn't stop it from happening. It had started when she heard Julie say the things she'd said to her and she couldn't ignore them, not anymore. After their sparring session, Faith had retreated to the rooftop once again, her muscles deliciously sore and the voices in her head taunting her louder than ever before. Even in the thunderous roar of the rain as it came down endlessly she couldn't quiet those ghostly whispers.
"Phenomenon, my ass," she muttered under her breath as she remembered what Giles had said to them about it before. "It's a goddamn pain in the fuckin' ass!"
She knew how crazy she'd look screaming to herself all alone on the roof to anyone or anything that didn't know the turmoil she was going through, but she didn't care. The frustration was getting to her, the anger consuming her, and the fire she felt growing in the deepest, darkest pits of her soul threatened to take over and throw her deep into the darkness she'd tried so hard not to fall into since the day she turned herself in. She couldn't even think of the amount of time she'd sat in her prison cell fighting her inner demons. Internal screaming wars were endless and they brought on the nightmares that left her scared to fall asleep. It'd gone on until the few short months before Wesley came to her and now, after being here for god knew how long, those same feelings were back.
She couldn't fight it anymore and she let herself go as she gripped onto the edge of the ledge that came just up to her waist. She saw a blur of memories, starting during her first few months in Sunnydale. They weren't all bad memories, not the ones in the beginning with Buffy. But then there were those long lonely nights after patrol, the random men and women, the few times she'd robbed her bedmates blind, so out of it they hadn't even seemed to notice or care. After those memories it was a whirlwind of darkness, of hatred, of fear. Of Buffy wielding that knife—her knife—on the rooftop of her apartment and of Buffy plunging the knife deep into her gut. Of the fear she saw in Buffy's eyes that had no doubt mirrored her own.
Then there was the nothingness that was the only time she'd felt at peace in her life; those months she'd spent in that coma, months that had been stolen from her. She remembered how she felt after she woke, feeling so utterly betrayed to find that Buffy was no longer with Angel, the one she'd gutted her for. It had fuelled everything that happened afterwards, which brought on the darkest of the evil she'd always felt inside of herself.
"Shut up! You think I'm afraid of you? You're nothing!"
"You're disgusting! A useless, murderous bitch!"
"You're nothing!"
It was like an echo, the voice still clear in her head. Although she'd been in Buffy's body then, screaming at herself and not at Buffy, she heard her voice over the one that actually had come out of her mouth. That was the one memory that drove her to want to better herself, to seek redemption and change her life. She couldn't look at herself that way anymore and she didn't want to ever again. Buffy seeing her go through that, seeing how she'd completely lost it, had made her feel vulnerable and weak and she set out to fix it then the only way she knew how—inflicting pain and misery, hunting Angel and hurting those close to him. It was what she did best.
But there'd been a fleeting moment then when she lost herself, lost that evil wild child inside of her and wanted to end everything just so she didn't have to feel anymore. She hated feeling. She'd hated it then and still hated it now, even though everything was so different. Feeling was just plain hard and it fucking sucked. She hadn't thought of that time in her life in at least a year. The last time she had, she'd broken down completely and ended up in solitary for over a week.
She heard the door open and turned to look over at Buffy as she walked over towards her with her arms folded across her chest. She let out a soft sigh as she stood next to Faith and they both turned to watch the rain as it fell all around the crumbling city.
"I heard you before," she said softly as she turned to look at her. "I...I know what you're going through right now, Faith. I mean...I really don't know exactly what you are going through, but for some reason I can feel what you're feeling right now. It hurts."
"No shit, B."
"It's never going to be like that again."
"You don't know that, B."
"No, I do know it is never going to be like that again. Don't let them win, Faith. I know you want to give up because you can't ignore them anymore, but don't you dare let them win. I'm not letting you go, not now, not after everything we've just been through."
"You never used to care," Faith said, ignoring everything she'd just said, becoming lost in her own thoughts. "You never used to care about anyone else, Buffy. You were all detached and stuff, no emotion, same way I was. What the hell happened?"
"We beat the First," she whispered in reply as if that was answer enough. "That talk we had in my room, it made me see something inside myself after that. It made me realize that despite how alone I've felt I've never been alone since you came around. Maybe the real reason we never got along before is because we always pushed each other out of the way?"
"We never tried."
"What?"
"We never fucking tried, Buffy. Sure, it seemed like we tried, but it wasn't enough. It wasn't like it was after we left Sunnydale. It was..."
"Easier?" Buffy finished for her when she trailed off and let out a soft sigh as she struggled to find the right word. "It was easier after."
"And now it's really fuckin' easy and pretty fuckin' confusing too."
"How is it confusing?"
"Cos I can't just be here near you without wantin' to touch you. I feel like I always need to be touching you, feeling you...I just...god, I can't even say it."
"Say what?"
"I feel like I'm a part of you, Buffy. If I can't feel you I feel like I'm losing myself."
"Really?"
"And that is as close to all that romantic crap as I'll ever get," Faith muttered, chuckling softly when she saw the perplexed look on Buffy's face. "Wasn't even really romantic."
"Faith," Buffy smiled, taking Faith's hands in her own as she stepped in front of her, "I totally get it. I really do. And it was kind of, sort of, romantic in your own little way."
"Guess it's somethin' I gotta work on, huh?"
"Also got to work on your..." Buffy smirked as Faith raised an eyebrow, waiting for her to continue.
"On my what?"
"How loose you talk," Buffy shrugged. "You didn't when you came back, then it was like all of a sudden, bam, right back to the old Faith. It's a comfort thing, isn't it? When your guard is down so is speaking proper English. Hey, we were talking about working on things, just thought that—"
"Y'know if I wasn't head over fuckin' heels in love with you right now, I'd be offended. But strangely, I'm not. Not even a little."
"Good," Buffy smiled. "And I was only teasing, Faith."
"I know."
"So, you're okay after everything that just happened up here? If you want to talk about it..."
"Nah, talkin' about it's only gonna make it worse. Rather just forget about it and move on."
"What about dealing—"
"I have dealt, B! It's all fuckin' comin' back and I've dealt with it, okay?" she snapped, shaking uncontrollably as she tried to keep her anger from exploding. "It's those goddamn voices, B. Ghosts of the past or whatever the fuck they are. They are getting to me. Again."
"I know, I know," Buffy sighed as she stroked her hands up and down Faith's arms slowly. "Come inside. I finally convinced Jackie to try to make something besides soup with the mountains of potatoes she's got."
Faith let out a short, sharp laugh, finding it impossible to refuse the pout now adorning Buffy's face. "I so fucking never wanna see or eat another goddamn potato once we get home."
"Deal."
"B?" Faith said as she stopped her from walking away. "Thank you."
"Anytime, Faith."
They shared a quick kiss before running inside, both giggling as Faith flicked the water running down her fingertips at her. How quickly everything could change just with Buffy near her, talking to her, touching her in small, innocent ways that affected her just as strongly the most intimate touches could. Jackie, as always, paid no attention to their little giggle-fest as they chased each other across the warehouse floor over to where she was by the fire. She just cast a glance towards Faith as they approached her and she began humming softly, winking at Faith as she watched her take Buffy by the hand.
"Now this," Buffy whispered as she wrapped her arms around Faith and smiled sweetly at her, "is some of that romantic 'crap' that I like."
"Ya told me that before," Faith replied just as softly, smiling right back at her. "Really do like this, B. Just, y'know, holdin' ya like this, dancing to god knows what song she's singin' over there."
"Well, in the future I'll have to keep that in mind. For those late night dances in the privacy of oh, I don't know, the living room at your apartment."
"Our apartment. If ya want...and as long as it's still mine. Who knows what's happened since we got here."
"You're asking me to live with you?"
"After all this time we spent together? Don't think I could stand bein' apart from ya for very long, B."
"Me neither," Buffy said as she leaned close to whisper it in her ear. "Plus it's not like we'd get much privacy at the house. If the others don't like it, they'll just have to deal."
"Keep wonderin' what we're gonna do with her," Faith whispered as she looked over at Jackie.
"We'll figure it out, Faith. Don't worry, okay? We'll set her up at the house and we'll all look out for her until she's okay enough to be out in the world on her own."
"Seems like ya got the answers to everything sometimes."
"Not everything and not all the time, barely even sometimes."
"But you do...sometimes," she smiled at her when Buffy scoffed. "Even when all that shit was goin' down 'fore we walked into the battle against the First, you just...shit, B, you know what you're doin' even when ya don't. You're one hell of a woman, you know that?"
"Spike said that to me."
"When?"
"When I got kicked out of the house and he found me that night. We talked and he kind of...put things in perspective for me."
"Oh. Well you are, so I guess I gotta agree with him on somethin'. But that's about it."
"We're seriously going to have to talk...about everything one day, Faith. We can't put it off forever."
"But for now?" Faith said softly, the tips of her fingers sliding under the hem of Buffy's shirt and stroking the skin there. "Can we just..."
"Be?"
"Yeah," she smiled. "Let's just be us, the way we are right here right now."
"This your way of forgetting what happened to you up on the roof, Faith?"
"Might be," she laughed and kissed away Buffy's pout. "Yeah, it is. Ya got a problem with that?"
"Not unless you stop," Buffy replied as she pulled her in for a long, passionate kiss that left them both breathless once they broke apart. "And you better keep kissing me like that."
"Oh, I plan to," Faith smirked as she twirled Buffy around before pulling her back in close, her lips instantly finding the other slayer's before the blonde could take in another breath.
Just like every time she kissed Buffy like that, she melted away, feeling only Buffy's lips upon her own lips, Buffy's tongue dancing against her own. She could feel the heat increasing between them, forcing her to pull back from the kiss, both of them just as breathless as the first had left them. She planted one last light kiss upon Buffy's lips before she pulled back and stared at her, smiling as Buffy slowly opened her eyes.
"I think you two give a whole new meaning to lovesick," Jackie chuckled from where she stood by the fire. She shook her head as she turned to watch the smoke that billowed up and out the vent above.
"I'm taking that as a compliment," Buffy said. Then muttering under her breath, "That better have been a compliment," but apparently it was just loud enough for Jackie to hear.
"It is a compliment, in my own special way. It's saying 'stop being so sweet, you're melting my heart'," she said, winking at both of them. When Faith gave her the finger, Jackie just returned the gesture with a smile, making all three of them laugh.
Faith looked back at Buffy, still quite aware they were barely moving together, barely swaying, mostly just holding, feeling, and being together. She could still hear the whispered voices, but they were less now as she got lost within the depths of Buffy's eyes. It felt too easy, far too easy, and that scared her because she knew every time things started to feel this way it all went reeling back to where she'd been before, to where the voices had control over her and brought that darkness out. Buffy reached up and tenderly stroked her cheeks, almost as if she knew exactly what was going through her mind at that moment, and just from the tender touch, the soft, loving look in her eyes, she was telling Faith to stay with her and to keep them out.
They stood there for a little while longer just staring at one another. Faith felt like Buffy had become her anchor, the one thing that kept her from losing her mind completely while they were stuck there. Jackie had tried to make french-fries and surprisingly after eating nothing but potato soup they were nearly heavenly, even without any salt or the buckets of ketchup Faith liked to douse her fries in. They were more filling than the soup, but they made her taste buds crave a nice, thick, juicy burger to go along with them. She couldn't keep doing that to herself; she couldn't keep thinking of everything she'd rather eat when they had no other choice right now.
Jackie went to lie down after she put the fire out. Faith's muscles felt strained, the same way she always felt when she needed to go out and slay. She opted instead to spar with Buffy for a while, but her heart wasn't into it this time around. She ended up back up on the rooftop, but she wasn't alone. Buffy wouldn't let her go back up there alone to deal with those ghostly whispers that tried to pull out the demons she had inside of her. The rain had let up, yet the sky still was dark with that eerie orange glow that Faith had gotten quite used to seeing.
They sat on the ledge side by side, their feet dangling and banging against the bricks as their hands reached out for one another, fingers intertwining without even thinking of it. They stayed up there until the heat slipped away and the sunless sky lit up, brightening the world around them, blinding them just a little and chasing them inside. She was thinking again, just like always, but it wasn't of the voices, of the darkness, of the world they were trapped in. She thought of the future, the near and distant, and wondered how they'd end up. Would they stay together, find something more within each other? Or would they eventually drift apart when that spark died off between them?
She hoped and wished it'd never happen, but somewhere along the line she'd heard someone say that first love was called the first for a reason, there was always another bigger and greater love waiting in someone else. It hurt to think of ever having what she had with Buffy with someone else. She hated thinking about the what-ifs of the future, but it wasn't like she could stop herself. She knew Buffy was thinking the same thing nearly every day. It was only then that she suddenly asked herself if she was prepared to be at Buffy's side for the rest of her life, if she was prepared to love her with everything she had and everything she'd gain as the days went by.
The only answer she got was yes. She could and she would and she'd make sure that nothing and nobody ever came between them. But she also knew if things changed, if Buffy's feelings for her changed, she wouldn't hold her back and that she'd let her go no matter how much it killed her inside.
She held on to Buffy as the tiny slayer fell into a sound sleep. For Faith sleep was far off despite the exhaustion she felt as a result of the sweltering heat. She closed her eyes, trying to relax as much as possible, but instead she only saw blinding white light and heard a voice she hadn't heard since they were sucked into the portal. Kennedy's. She couldn't make out what she was saying, what she was asking. It frustrated her to no end, causing her to ask why she'd heard Kennedy's voice now. Was Willow close to bringing them home or was Kennedy sending out the call that they were doomed to spend whatever was left of their life stuck there?
"Go to sleep, Faith," Buffy murmured quietly.
"Tryin' to, B."
"Stop thinking," she sighed as she turned around in her arms and pushed the hair that had fallen over her eyes out of the way. "You always think way too much, Faith."
"How do you know I was thinkin'? Coulda just been layin' here listening to ya breathe."
"Don't ask me how or why, but I feel it. You become...tense. And I think it's official."
"What is?"
"We're definitely spending way too much time together if I'm picking up on all these things about you. I've never...not with anyone else...ever been able to get to that point before. Life always got in the way. Slaying always got in the way. Never had enough time just to be with someone the way I have time to be with you now."
"Ain't like we got much of a choice with the whole spendin' too much time together thing, B. And I got news for ya, Twinkie," she laughed as Buffy groaned at the nickname. "Ain't gonna be any different once we get home. Always gonna make sure we're together one way or another."
"Oh really?"
"Yes, really," Faith smirked, gently nibbling on Buffy's lower lip as she pouted. "And this pouting thing ya always do, B? So don't work on me anymore."
"No? Pity," Buffy said, pouting once more and laughing as Faith leaned in to nibble her lower lip again. "But I'm serious about the thinking. You let it consume you. It shouldn't get like that."
"But it does. Just how it is, B. Been this way for a while. Granted, not quite like this before, but this place has changed me, it's changed both of us."
"Did you think a lot when you first came to Sunnydale?"
"Not a lot. Always just acted before I thought. You know that. Didn't really start getting' all deep and shit 'til prison, I guess."
"But when you thought...what'd you think about?"
"You, mostly. Drove me fuckin' crazy half the time too," Faith replied with a soft laugh to show there were no hard feelings and no more lingering doubt from that time in her life. "How 'bout we try that whole sleeping thing now, B?"
"You just don't want to talk about this," Buffy whispered as she turned back around in her arms and leaned her back fully against Faith's front. Even with the heat increasing, Buffy still pulled the sheet over them and sighed softly as Faith placed a gentle kiss to the back of her neck. "We'll talk when we wake up, okay?"
Faith said nothing as she nodded her head and forced her eyes shut, pleading for sleep to come even though she knew it wouldn't any time soon. She should have told Buffy she heard Kennedy, but that was a conversation they could have once Buffy had slept and once she'd lain awake for hours just holding her while she dreamt of home, of anyplace other than where they were now. She longed to join Buffy there in her dreams, longed for home, longed for the life they had before they were brought there. She'd get it back. She knew she would. If she lost faith in ever going home, the hopelessness would consume her just as her thoughts did and those whispered voices, the ghosts of her past, would eat her alive and spit her out as who she'd been before things started to change and turn around for her.
And she'd never let that happen again. She couldn't. She'd rather leap off a cliff and fall to her death than have to go through being that Faith again.
Andrew held up the black outfit, beaming with pride as everyone stared over at him. He'd done research and found that lightweight Kevlar outfits would benefit the Slayers when it came to patrol and any battle they found themselves in. It would keep their injuries to a minimum and plus, as he put it, black was stealthy and they always needed to be stealthy.
"You expect us to willingly wear that?" Carmen asked with complete disgust. "You're out of your mind, nerd-boy."
"You aren't seeing the bigger picture," Andrew said rather calmly, much to everyone's surprise. Even Kennedy half expected him to whine about it. "I've even special-ordered a big supply. I can make the outfits for each one of you and for Buffy and Faith once they come back home."
"Andrew, as important as it is for the girls to stay as safe as they possibly can, we've got bigger issues on our hands right now," Giles said as he shifted in his chair, the heat wave and the broken air conditioner making the house nearly unbearable to be in.
"Sorry, Mr. Giles. I thought since we were having a meeting that I'd bring it up."
Kennedy grabbed the outfit, the prototype to Andrew's 'big idea', and studied it while Willow tried, once again, to explain what would happen in just a few short hours. They were going to bring Buffy and Faith home, 'try' no longer a word in any of their vocabulary. They were bringing them home and everyone seemed to have complete faith that Willow would be able to pull this off without anything going wrong. She and the women in the coven had reactivated the scythe, which in turn made all the Potentials all over the world Slayers once again.
Kennedy had been growing rather impatient since feeling her Slayer strength come back. She'd even managed to connect to Faith when she got a few minutes alone that morning to meditate and reach out to her. She knew Faith had felt her, heard her, yet didn't understand her. She felt a hint of fear, of confusion, of longing, and so many more emotions when she'd reached for her. She'd noticed she was more aware of the others around her now, especially of Satsu who couldn't seem to do anything but stare at her whenever they were in the same room.
"Why do we have to wait?" Dawn asked, interrupting Willow as she strayed off the main topic of explaining what they were planning to do. "Why can't we do it now?"
"We have to prepare," Willow replied. "Althenea and the others are out gathering supplies. They want to try to teleport the portal closer, somewhere local. They think it'll be easier than trying to teleport Buffy and Faith here once we—I pull them out."
"You've had a week to prepare!"
"Dawnie," Xander said softly as he reached out and put a hand gentle on her shoulder to try to calm her down. "You know we can't rush this. We can't screw this up. I know you just want them back home. We all do. They'll be home before you know it."
"A couple more hours, Dawnie. I promise they'll be home by dinner," Willow said with a smile, hoping to reassure her of it. Carmen just scoffed and shifted where she sat on the floor, trying to get more comfortable. "Do you have a problem, Carmen?"
"Just think this whole thing is bullshit. There is no way you are going to be able to pull this off."
"Will, don't," Kennedy said as she reached out for her before she could launch herself off the couch and over at Carmen. "Don't listen to her."
"If you've got a problem, there's the door," Willow said through clenched teeth as she pointed to the front door with a shaky hand, her anger very visible to everyone in the room. "Now just shut up and listen or get out."
Kennedy smiled smugly, as did Willow, while watching Carmen stand up from the floor and storm upstairs. Willow continued explaining the plans that would happen in a few short hours. Kennedy just continued examining the lightweight Kevlar outfit Andrew had designed with the spare time on his hands and she tried not to look thoroughly impressed with the job he'd done. She flashed him a smile, not daring to interrupt Willow, and he just beamed brightly and leaned against the wall where he'd been standing. She only vaguely remembered the story about Riley Finn that Xander had told them all a few short weeks ago, but she knew that's where Andrew had gotten his idea for the outfits.
Willow was exhausted from talking when she finally finished. The briefing over, everyone went off to do their own thing. Kennedy stayed in the living room with Willow and Giles, folding the outfit and placing it on the surprisingly not cluttered coffee table.
"Kenny, I need you to try and keep Dawnie away while we do the spell later. I know she's anxious to get Buffy and Faith back, but it's dangerous for her to be around while we do this. It's dangerous for every single one of us. Anything can go wrong if concentration is broken. I could be...sucked in there and stuck there just like they are."
"I'll do whatever you need to me to," she smiled at her as she leaned in for a quick, chaste kiss.
"Thank you."
Kennedy's smile morphed into an evil grin. "I could even make sure Carmen has a brutally painful 'accident' that'll keep her in bed for at least a day."
"Just let Satsu deal with her, Kenny."
"Fine."
"Giles?" Willow said as she looked over at him. "Any word on the new air conditioner yet?"
"Unfortunately for all of us, I was unable to arrange for a Sunday delivery. I'm afraid it will not be delivered until tomorrow."
Kennedy let out a quiet groan as she got up from the couch, the backs of her legs sticking to the fabric as she did so. She headed for the kitchen and grabbed a glass of ice-cold water before joining the others out in the backyard. Xander had been keeping busy, working hard even on the weekends at trying to fix the place up and make it feel more like home. Despite Xander's at times rather vehement protests, Andrew was helping him build the gazebo and it really was coming together quite nicely.
"Almost done, huh?" Kennedy asked as she walked over to Xander, who was checking a few measurements on the blueprints he'd drawn up. "What's the point of this, anyway?"
"Place to sit for some peace and quiet," he shrugged. "It's giving me something to do."
"I've convinced him to put a garden in around it," Andrew said with a goofy smile as he picked up one of the long boards and handed it to Xander without having to be asked. "Someone told me that home is where you make it and that you need to make your house feel like home. This is just one thing that's going to make it feel like home."
"If you say so," Kennedy laughed as she walked over to join the others under the shade of the tree.
"Are you nervous?" Dawn asked her before she could even sit down. "What if Willow can't pull this off?"
"She'll bring them home, Dawn. Don't worry so much. It's not like she's doing this alone," Kennedy replied, fighting back the urge to slap some sense into Dawn since she was really beginning to get on her last nerve. "Everything is going to be okay again, you'll see."
"I knew coming here, all of us coming here, would be one big giant mistake."
"It wasn't a mistake. Things happen. Some dumbass vampire just wanted her soul back and caused all this shit because of it. It would have happened no matter if we were all together or apart, here or somewhere else. It's just the way things are, Dawn."
"Destiny, fate, yadda yadda, I've heard it all before."
"Why are you so...bitter, Dawn? Don't you have any faith in Willow?"
"Oh I do, I just—"
"Then stop with the whole bitch attitude with an extra dose of negativity. It isn't going to help," Kennedy spat at her and breathed in deeply, still fighting the urge to slap Dawn hard across the face. "Everything will be back to normal by tonight. Buffy and Faith will be home and we can all stop worrying about them so much and go on with our lives."
"You think they'll come back the same?"
"Why wouldn't they?"
"Angel told me that when you spend some time in another dimension it changes you."
"They'll still be Buffy and Faith, Dawn."
"How can you be so sure about that?"
"Because I've seen them," Kennedy whispered, getting her looks from Satsu and Amber. "I was having flashes and I kept seeing them, well, I saw Faith anyway. They're fine, Dawnie."
"How come you never told us you've seen them before?"
"I told Willow and Giles. We thought it'd be better to keep it between us."
"But that's my sister! I have every right to know these things!"
Kennedy just rubbed her throbbing temples as she felt the onset of a major headache begin to creep in. With Carmen acting like the royal bitch that she was, having to deal with Dawn like this was about to make her head explode. She was growing impatient herself, wanting Buffy and Faith to be brought home as soon as possible so life could go on the way it should. Buffy would be in charge of their little group of Slayers and Faith would be right there at her side leading with her. In Kennedy's mind, things would go just as Giles planned for things to end up, but she knew in reality things could end up very differently.
Worse come to worst, Buffy and Faith could end up taking off, doing their own thing once they were back home and leaving them all to deal with things as they had been trying to deal in the last month. Giles wanted to start up a training school for the Slayers that were age fourteen through eighteen. He wanted them to learn how to fight properly, smartly, to keep themselves from being killed and he wanted Buffy and Faith to lead them. Kennedy knew Faith by herself would blow it off, but she wasn't so sure what Buffy would do. There were so many different ways life could go from here on out, but the only way she wanted to accept was the one where things would go back to exactly the way they were before Buffy and Faith were sucked into the portal.
Kennedy knew she'd stay on with Giles and the others no matter what ended up happening between her and Willow. She hoped that once Buffy and Faith were back home she and Willow would have a chance to find the happiness between them again, to find the love that seemed to disappear with every passing day. She stopped rubbing her temples, hardly realizing she'd closed her eyes until she opened them to find Satsu staring right at her while Dawn and Amber talked quietly.
"You okay, Kennedy?"
"I'm fine, Satsu. Headache. Must be the heat," she replied, shrugging it off as if it was nothing.
"Would you like me to go inside and get you another glass of ice water?" Satsu asked softly, but Kennedy just shook her head no. "Are you sure?"
"I said I'm fine. A little stressed out about the spell Willow and the women from the coven are going to be doing, but it'll pass."
"Stressed?" Dawn interjected and shook her head as she laughed almost cruelly. "I knew it. I knew I wasn't the only one worried that Willow isn't going to be able to pull this off even with the women from the coven here to help."
"Dawn?" Kennedy said through clenched teeth as she really tried to keep herself from lunging at the youngest Summers. "Shut the fuck up before I make you shut the fuck up."
"Make me," Dawn shot at her as she stuck out her tongue and she was up and running over to Xander and Andrew before Kennedy could blink.
"If she wasn't Buffy's sister..." Kennedy muttered under her breath and caught Satsu smirking at her. "What?"
"Nothing. It's just, everyone is stressed out as it is and yet," she waved her hand idly in the air as she looked like she was struggling to find the right words, "it just seems like no matter what, there's always some kind of joke, some silliness or fighting going on that just...I don't know, makes it all seem normal."
"Well, this is as normal as life for all of us is ever going to get," Kennedy replied with a sigh. "Have I told you that I'm kinda glad you and Amber are here?"
"What about Carmen?" Satsu asked, chuckling when Kennedy made a face and Amber only laughed softly. "That's what I thought. I'm not too happy she's here either, but we were called and we've been trained most of our lives to go with our calling."
"Weren't things better when we didn't know about the things that went bump in the night?" Kennedy asked and then she realized just to whom she was talking. "Guess you really wouldn't know, right?"
"Sometimes I think it'd be better if we didn't," Satsu shrugged. "But then there are other times where it's almost comforting to know what we are, what's out there, and that we can kick their asses no matter if we have the strength or not."
Sometimes Kennedy really was glad that Satsu was around. Something about her just made her feel at ease, no matter what situation they found themselves in, day in and day out. It was something that made her constantly question her own feelings towards the girl; something that just kept getting murkier as she spent more time with her. It made her feel guilty when she climbed into bed with Willow at night too and held her when Willow asked her to. Sometimes , though, when Satsu just looked at her she felt a fire burning deep inside, a fire she'd never felt with anyone before.
And it made her wonder if it was a Slayer thing or a Satsu thing? Was the slayer essence jump-starting something that wasn't naturally there, or was she really that drawn to the Asian slayer? How did Buffy and Faith figure all this out? So many damn questions.
She really couldn't wait for Buffy and Faith to come home.
