Chapter Four
Waking Up
Fifteen. Mello didn't think he could actually believe it. Fifteen years old. And he was still second.
The thought itself pissed him off. More than it had when he was ten. Eleven. Twelve. Thirteen. Fourteen. He was really pissed off. He knew he was showing it too, because he could see the worry in Matt's eyes. Every time the redhead looked at him it seemed as if it was with caution and Mello hated that he was making his redhead worry. Yes, his. He staked his claim on Matt they day they met and made it official on his fourteenth birthday.
So he tried. When Matt woke him up with a sweet whisper of happy birthday he smiled and wrapped his arms around the boy's slim waist, pulling him closer the way he knew Matt enjoyed being with him. He had kissed him, he had held him, even laughed with him. He was now sitting in his window seat, the usual one he sat in. Matt was below him in his cushion nest, playing some video game he got only a day or two ago. With Matt, Mello felt more at ease. Not always completely relaxed but things were simpler and easier to handle with the redhead around. He had never used to smile and now Matt made him, simply with that dorky smile of his own and bright green eyes he loved.
Their relationship was somewhat complicated. They were males, two of the top males at Wammy's, and Mello knew he tended to be a bit moody; but it didn't keep them from enjoying the carefree times when they could lay there together. Arms wrapped around each other, kissing, feeling the other's presence so close. Mello loved those times. Mello glanced down as he felt something set on his leg. He raised his eyebrows as he saw the small box, wrapped in silver paper with a small black bow on top. He chuckled and pulled a smirking Matt up into the window seat with him.
He opened it carefully to reveal the actual box. His interest was definitely perked and Matt watched as he lifted the lid. The blonde blinked in surprise when he saw what was inside. It was a thin practically translucent gold chain, looking so fragile and breakable. On it was a thin gold cross, looking just as breakable.
"I know you have your rosary – but it'll be hardly noticeable. More of something to show you I'll always be right there, no matter what Mello." Matt whispered quietly. Mello nodded, biting his lower lip.
Mello handed Matt the box and lifted his soft blonde hair, silent but his eyes glancing at Matt's showed him what he wanted. Matt hesitantly lifted it from the box then hooked it around Mello's neck. It fell shorter than the rosary, barely noticeable against the blonde's skin. He dropped his hair and reached up to touch it with his fingers. He closed his eyes for a moment then pulled Matt closer. The redhead immediately dropped the box to move properly, eyes closing as Mello pressed their lips together. Mello's fingers were clutching at Matt's shirt, keeping him where he was. Matt's own fingers were buried in Mello's blonde hair, kissing him back with the same intensity.
Soon they stood up and Mello pulled Matt from the room, both of them beginning to run down the halls holding hands tightly. They pushed out into the fresh air and ran over to the tree they sat under whenever they wanted to. It was dark out now, which meant they shouldn't' be outside, but every adult in the orphanage never bothered to mess with the two anymore – especially as Mello got older. It was the tree Mello had first kissed Matt under.
Mello pushed Matt onto the grassy ground, letting the younger pull him down with him. He quickly moved to pull Matt into another kiss and soon they were grabbing at each other. But unlike most times Mello didn't plan on stopping it. The blonde began to touch the redhead more sensually and had Matt moaning softly. He loved the way Matt moaned. The redhead could feel how gentle Mello was being with him and knew quickly that they weren't stopping this time. Mello pulled back enough to look into Matt's eyes.
"You know I always loved your eyes." Mello whispered. Matt's cheeks, already flushed, went a little darker but he smiled up at him.
From there the boys just enjoyed feeling the other so close. Skin against skin, sticky with sweat, the cold grass beneath them. The soft night breezes, clear starry night sky and full bright moon. Matt's face crumpled into pain when Mello finally entered him, after prep and a lot of foreplay on both of their parts. They were simply taking pleasure in their night together. Matt was hoping there would be many more. Soon Mello made any pain go away – hitting that special spot.
"Mello…" Matt whimpered the blonde's name over and over again, begged for more, pleaded for him to go faster.
Mello treasured every sound the redhead made beneath him, pleasured him in as many ways as he could. Soon the younger came and Mello couldn't hold for much longer after. Collapsing onto the soft grass beside each other, Mello held Matt close and stared up at the sky.
It was hours later before the boys went back in, nearly four in the morning when they crawled into Mello's bed. Curling up against the older chest, Matt was content to fall asleep to the sound of Mello's steady and even heartbeat. Mello was awake though, staring down at Matt with sad blue eyes. He loved Matt. He loved him so much. He loved to see the redhead smile, he loved to hear his laugh, and he loved to feel his body curled up to his just like he was now. Blue eyes glanced at the clock and then closed as a quiet sigh escaped the blonde's lips.
"Mmmm…" Matt hummed as he opened his green eyes.
He could feel that his body was stiff and he was still tired, but he felt amazing. He smiled but it faded as he noticed Mello wasn't in bed. He glanced at the clock to see that it was only eight in the morning. A loud crack of lightning made him jump and he looked out the window to see the pouring rain. He sat up and looked around the room, confused. Wait didn't Mello always keep his stuff…but where was it? He blinked and slipped from the bed. The room was dark from lack or lights being on and sunlight in the sky so he had to rub his eyes for a moment before finally being able to see properly.
He spotted something on the desk that still had the usual studying stuff on it that Matt and Mello shared and he almost sighed in relief. He walked over to pick up the piece of paper and frowned, it was in Mello's neat cursives.
Matt,
Look I can't stay. I want to be with you but I can't right now. I don't think I ever can. Matt I don't want you to remember me, but I don't want you to forget how much I love you. Or how much you loved me. I just need you to understand that you are the best thing in this damned world Matt – and I never want you to forget that. Last night was incredible, something I hope is ours forever. I don't need you to forgive me, because I'll never see you again. So you don't have to try not to hate me because I betrayed your trust a thousand times over. I'm not one for words Matt – but the three I know you enjoy hearing I'll say one last time.
I love you.
Mello
Matt's breathing came out in small gasps, his heart was beating hard in his chest. His hands shook with the paper and he clutched it tight. The O at the end of Mello's name smudged slightly and hope washed through him. It wasn't long ago that Mello wrote this – not long enough for the ink of the pen to fully dry. He threw the note onto the desk and ran, clad in only a pair of jeans that he had pulled on to come inside last night. He ran as hard as he could, passing surprised people. Matt was never one to go anywhere that fast – he rarely participated in gym even. But there he was running, faster than most had seen someone run before. His red hair messily flew around him as tears spilled down his cheeks, green eyes wide.
Some moved after him, slowly as they were interested into what had the male running the way he was. His breath was coming in short gasps as he burst through the doors, attracting more attention. Roger had been standing in a room near them and looked out, seeing them wide open. He frowned and followed as well.
The harsh rain was heavy and hit Matt almost painfully. It made his exposed chest sting and he cried harder.
"Mello!" He screamed, running towards the gates. The mud was slippery beneath his bare feet but eh didn't care as he continued to run with as much power as he could.
He made it nearly to the gates when he slipped and fell onto his chest, face coated in mud. Without his goggles this mud got into his eyes and he rubbed at them desperately. Water poured down on him, soaking him to the bone ad making his hair stick to his neck. His jeans were muddy and soaked, clinging to his legs, but he was screaming Mello's name at the top of his lungs. He tried to get up but found he couldn't, screaming in pain. Physical pain because he had probably sprained his ankle and emotional because he could feel his heart breaking.
It felt like he was finally waking up from a dream that he knew had been too good to be true.
