Chapter Five
Without Him
Despite being carried inside by two men, coated and dripping in mud and rain, Matt continued to scream, fingers curled into fists. It was the loudest he had ever been before. The kids at the Wammy house were crowded around the door then followed them to the infirmary where they took Matt. All of them were interested, shocked and whispering to each other. The albino named Near even had to come, though he didn't seem nearly as interested as the others.
Matt was fighting against everyone, screaming and trying to get back outside. He looked like a mess. Roger followed the two men and the nurse into the infirmary then shut eh door, locking it to close Matt off from such exposure. Roger watched with a stern expression as the men laid Matt on the table then held him down with a lot of force. As wild as Matt was acting he wasn't stronger than them, hell he wasn't nearly as strong as Mello, so he could only thrash and kick against them. The nurse came over and used a towel to wipe all the mud from Matt's body, from his face, exposing the pale skin.
There was a dark mark that was obviously a hickey on his collar bone but they didn't notice at the moment as they stripped Matt of his soaked jeans and boxers. Matt was sobbing now, feeling so vulnerable and exposed to their eyes. They were definitely concerned but they also seemed interested, like he was an experiment that suddenly actually did something for once. He was still screaming the blonde's name, begging for him to come back, and all the children outside the infirmary could hear him. It continued for about ten minutes longer until Roger finally demanded that the nurse give him the shot and he passed out.
That was the last time Matt actually made any noise. It was as if all that screaming had pulled his voice from him, took away his ability to make any sort of sound. None of the children saw him after they watched different men carry him to his room, only to have them reappear and close the door behind them. Some waited around but a lot of them were hungry enough to go get breakfast and continue on with their day. The redhead woke up five hours after being drugged, took one look at the empty bed next to his and began to sob again. He locked his door and stayed there for days.
It was on the second that Roger came up; giving Matt food and trying to get him talk. He tried to persuade him to come down and try going to class but the redhead merely turned away and promptly fell asleep, not even bothering to finish the food. Roger had left after a moment, closing the door as he heard Matt's muffled sobs. If one of the kids passed by the redhead's door they would probably hear the constant sobbing, sometimes screams, but whenever he dragged himself out of the room to go to the bathroom or, rarely, shower, he never made a sound. Behind his goggles his puffy eyes always looked dead and the way he moved made it seem that way too.
No one noticed but about four days after Mello disappeared Matt began to sneak out his window at night. Despite being on the second floor he had done it a million times before with Mello. He always sat under his and Mello's tree, laying back on the cold grass and staring up at the sky. Sometimes it was cloudy sometimes it was clear and he could see the millions of stars like he had on Mello's birthday.
During the days when Matt was awake he smoked. He smoked or cried or smoked while crying. He never did anything more and soon over two months had passed by. It was obvious the male had lost weight, even to him as his shirts always hung off of him differently now. By the fifth month of him barely coming out of his room roger had come up to say enough was enough. He demanded Matt come out of his room more often or he would be removed from the orphanage. He didn't demand that Matt go to classes, because he knew Matt still had his smarts, but he needed to have the boy come out.
So Matt did, though he only went one place. Sitting under the tree in the shade or in the cool of the night, he always thought about Mello. Finally, after three months more, it was his fifteenth birthday. He snuck out that night to the tree and stripped off his shirt, laying back to feel the cool damp grass against his skin. He closed his eyes and remembered Mello's fifteenth birthday, trying to make the memories real enough to feel it again. He sobbed and clutched at the grass, body trembling terribly.
"I love you Mello." He whispered shakily, closing his eyes as tears spilled down his cheeks.
And he tried to imagine Mello whispering he loved him in return.
