Recommended readings:

*How Zelda Got Her Groove Back* by ZeldaRubix, of course! Because it's a fab multi-chapter fic full of all this crazy stuff like science, because science is crazy, as is the author…

*A Royal Rendezvous* by Prejudiced for Pasta. Because it is the hottest, sexiest ZeLink oneshot I've ever read.

Chapter 19

Two Kinds of Perfection

"Well, it's been a pleasure talking with you, Sir Link."

Looking through one of the windows that overlooked the open sky, the general stood with his arms neatly folded. A pert smile curled his mouth as he hid his face from the discomfited knight. He looked down and tapped his foot, almost chuckling.

Link stared at the top of Sheik's desk. It was perfect. Too perfect. There wasn't a single fingerprint on it.

I'll bet he polishes it fifty times a day, he snarled inwardly. His reflection was gazing back at him, clear as crystal. There was no denying that his mirror image had seen better days.

To Link's annoyance, he hadn't been able to get the demon lord out of his head since speaking his name. He rapidly began to regret the momentary lapse in self-control. His entire life had been out of character ever since Zelda had begun acting strangely several weeks ago. This fateful shift in his existence had certainly taken its toll, affecting his temperament on occasion…With the demon, Lilith, Pipit, Midna, the soldiers, Sheik…Pretty much everyone he'd encountered recently, not to mention himself.

Thinking back, he still couldn't believe that he'd punched Groose square in the face at the Lumpy Pumpkin a few weeks back. His sarcasm and impatience with people back home, before he'd even left to search for Zelda, had definitely increased. The way he'd gotten so frustrated with Fi during their trek in the woods further validated the point: he had better watch himself.

He rolled his eyes and sighed, taking a peek at the general. It was gratifying to see the man's back; a welcome sight compared to his arrogant face.

A pleasure, indeed…

According to the immaculately shiny desktop, Link's face was fairly red. It looked a little sweaty, too. An understandable state, considering the bout of questioning he'd just undergone. It had been one hell of a third degree. He might as well have been beaten, scourged, and tortured. In fact, he would have preferred it over the general's line of questioning.

This little chat had gone far beyond a violation of civil rights. Fully aware of this gross injustice, Link clammed up. But, the general knew how to make him talk.

'If you don't open those luscious lips of yours and start letting some words out, your buddy is going to learn the meaning of the phrase, 'They grow 'em big in the disciplinary barracks.' So, in the face of blatant power abuse, Link talked.

At first, he offered the bare minimum. Even generalities were almost too painful to speak out loud. There was simply no way for Link to describe his demon realm experiences without have to, in a sense, relive them. This only increased Sheik's enjoyment, of course.

'He treated me like crap,' turned into, 'He smacked me around and verbally abused me.' This statement morphed into, 'He dragged me around on a chain, turned me into his pet, used my own flaws to tear into me, and tried to suck me in with his mind-altering powers.' Still not enough for the general, Link told him, 'He humiliated me in front of entire crowds, used every possible avenue to make me doubt myself and everyone who's important to me, ran me through with my own sword, and forced himself on me numerous times.'

But, the general already knew all of this, which he made plain with each of his discourteous words. He wanted more.

Then came the loaded questions. Prying and embarrassing, the inquiries were piled on, one after another. Already wary of Sheik's overall intent, Link began to consider the possibility that he had been summoned here for the sole purpose of fulfilling the general's dark desire to make an innocent victim suffer.

'I'd rather you just throw me in prison,' Link told him.

'Oh, but how could I do such a thing when your presence is required elsewhere? Who am I to outright ignore the applications of my peers?'

'I don't care.'

'But you do care about your friend. You may be willing to allow yourself to sample the bitter flavor of this army's correctional facility, but certainly not your companion. Heh, bet you're really kicking yourself for inviting him along, eh?'

With little choice, Link complied, not understanding how his answering of such preposterous questions could possibly aid anyone. If Link didn't know any better, he might've suspected that the questioning itself was the main focus, and that, to Sheik, his answers were utterly superfluous.

The conversation was long and dragged out. It felt to Link as though it may never end. But, the tail end of the tête-à-tête eventually presented itself.

'Did you enjoy your time in the demon realm?'

'What sort of a question is that?'

'Do you know where the bridge between their realm and ours is located?'

'…No.'

'What did that stone floor feel like under your back as you writhed under the demon's all-consuming power?'

'It was cold.'

'Do you know anything about the demon's master?'

'Mmmm no…'

'Did you speak to anyone besides him?'

'A company commander named Lilith.'

'She shared information with you, correct?'

'Yes.'

'Do you know what her motivations were?'

'No, not really. Though she seemed concerned for her safety.'

'Do you know how the demons reproduce?'

'Yes.'

'Did you sleep with any of the women you encountered?'

'When would I have had time for that?'

'Are you aware of what the enemy's intentions are for the surface and sky realm?'

'I am now.'

'Do you feel that your friends can be trusted?'

'I…well, yes, of course.'

'What is this power that your girlfriend holds?'

'I…don't know.'

'How did it feel to die by your own sword?'

'Wonderful. How else?'

'Did you know that your guide has the ability to communicate with the enemy?'

'Um…yes, she told me.'

'Is she collaborating with him?'

'What?'

'Are you, as well?'

'You're joking…'

'How did it feel to borrow the demon's power to kill that stalhound?'

'Uh…'

'Extraordinary, right? Make you wanna do it again?'

'I-'

'Think you'll ever retry your hand at it?'

'When would I d-'

'Were you intrigued by what the demon told you in the stairwell?'

'What?'

'How many times did he extract information from you?'

'Several.'

'Do you think he knows everything that you know?'

'Probably more.'

'Were you able to read the demon lord's thoughts?'

'Only once.'

'What happened after that?'

'If you know so much, why do I need to say it?'

'How does it feel to cheat on your girlfriend with a demon?'

'…She's not my girlfriend.'

'Oh. Silly me. Was it your lack of emotional control that pushed you over the edge, or merely the fact that you just couldn't wait any longer to have his hands on you?'

'The former.'

'Are you sure about that?'

'Yes.'

'So, you don't feel that you're addicted to his aura?'

'No, I don't.'

'One could argue that you were once addicted to your stringed instrument, correct?'

'…I suppose.'

'It was your answer to stress?'

'Yes.'

'How often did you think about it when in the demon's presence?'

'Um-'

'Your journey in the demon realm was the most stressful situation you've ever been in, am I right?'

'Yeah, I suppose.'

'Yet, you thought about your violin, what…two? Three times, maybe?'

'Uh…'

'Why do you think that is?'

'Well…'

'If I may venture a guess, I'd have to say that the demonic influence, which you've been inundated with on more than one occasion, is responsible. It's supplied your every need for comfort.'

'No…I don't think so.'

'Hmm. Without a doubt. Your mind and body have been afflicted by a metastasis of poison, whether you care to admit it or not. I believe you may prove to be more of a liability than an asset in the fight against the lords of the surface.'

'What's that supposed to mean?'

'Whose side are you on, anyway, knight?'

'I'm on Skyloft's side!'

'Does one on Skyloft's side melt like butter in his enemy's hands?'

'The situation was…unique. It was unlike any other…I was…forced into it.'

'Does one who fights for freedom enjoy his enemy's touch?'

'Who says I enjoy it?'

'Does the Goddess's chosen hero allow his enemy to jerk him off as a parting gift?'

It was the final question that did it. Link was done, and his expression made it apparent. According to Sheik's satisfied smile, he was finished, as well.

Sheik had stepped away in order to give Link a few minutes to wallow. During the silence, he admired the distant, misty island of Superna.

"Well, thank you for quenching my thirst for the sound of your voice," Sheik said, breaking straight through the young man's thoughts. "And thirst for it, I did. You matchlessly satisfied my craving for knowledge. My cup overfloweth."

"Much obliged," Link rattled, looking the man over.

"I suppose we're finished here," the general stated contentedly. He examined his well manicured nails. "Are you ready to head off toward your next destination?"

"Since when does answering the call to duty equate to making me recount useless details regarding my horrific deluge?" Link called out, gripping the chair beneath him.

"My, that's quite the question," Sheik replied, admiring his hands. "That must've taken you a while to contrive. Trying to compete with me?" Tired of the general's airy attitude, Link stood up and slapped his palm onto the spotless desktop, leaving a gratifying handprint behind.

"How do you know so much?" he asked. "Whether you have a legitimate reason for knowing my affairs or not, how does forcing me to 'admit the truth' help you at all? Is believing that I enjoy being taken advantage of going to help this military force to defeat the enemy?"

"Hm, your turn, eh?" Performing a quasi-pirouette, Sheik faced his questioner. He stood with his back to the wide open sky. "I really don't like us being at odds." He took a few steps toward Link. "Perhaps we can rectify our relationship."

"We don't have a relationship…" Link muttered, standing up taller. His face softened as Sheik stepped up to him. "…Sir."

"Well, in due time."

"Please…just answer the question," Link said with as much politeness as he could find. The last thing he wanted was to anger the man on the eve of his departure.

"Questions, you mean," Sheik corrected.

"Okay, questions."

"Do you know what a spy is, Sir Link?" the general asked.

"Of course," Link said.

"Mmm, I'm sure you do. Well, there are those residing in the demon realm who just might meet that definition." Link looked away, recalling Lilith's claim that there were humans in her realm.

"So, the people that you've placed there, are they in danger?"

"Only if they're found out. You need not worry. They're experts."

"So, they're the reason you know what happened to me?" Sheik cocked his head.

"Maybe, maybe not," he said with a small shrug.

"Maybe not?" Link asked, dropping his chin.

"I don't share my tactics with just anyone," Sheik replied.

"But you have the right to know my business?"

"Of course." With a low scoff, Link shook his head.

"You may have spies stationed in the demon realm," Link said. "But, unless there are soldiers disguised as trees in the Faron Woods, there's no way you could possibly know what happened before I left."

"You just confirmed it for me," Sheik said casually.

"What?"

"I was merely guessing. Going with my gut. Using my noodle. I had a hunch that something naughty happened before he allowed you to leave." Sheik's eyes traveled from Link's feet to his sheepish face. "The evidence is all over you. I'm sure you're still feeling it." The two men's eyes clashed as the friction between them mounted.

"You know," Link said. "I'd be inclined to think you were the demon lord himself…" He took a small step. "…But you're way too short." Rare was the opportunity for Link to glare down at another man, and, in this moment, he took advantage of it.

But, all Sheik did was grin, amused by the way that this young knight's anger was trying to beat down his principles.

"I get off on hostility, you know," Sheik whirred, holding his hands behind his back. He raised a confident face to Link.

"Well, that makes two of us," Link answered, "but not this type of hostility." Sheik gave a tickled huff through his nose.

Then, a chime rang out from the opposite side of the room. Both heads turned to meet the previously unnoticed contraption as it made a raucous on the wall.

"Ah. Do you know what that thing is saying over there? Or are you as time-challenged as they say? Are you really that unable to arrive on time, anywhere?"

"Only in the mornings," Link said gruffly, his whole body stiff.

"Well, that peculiar little gadget is called a clock. And its delightful little song is telling us something." Not even blinking, Link kept his glower intact.

"What's that?" he asked through a rigid mouth.

"That prudentiality calls me elsewhere. Coincidentally, a matter of concernment is vying for you, as well." Link didn't react to the general's words. "Have I left you a bit disconcerted?" He brought his face within inches of the young man's. "I do apologize. It certainly wasn't my intention." Link nudged forward.

"I'm sure," he said dryly. He watched as the general eyed his mouth.

"I guess this is where we part ways," Sheik said.

"Darn," was Link's reply. The pair took another moment to war silently.

"One more time, for me," Sheik teased, running his tongue along his upper lip. "It has such a nice ring to it, especially when you say it."

"No thanks," Link said flatly.

Then, Link flinched and pulled away as the general's hand came up to ruffle his hair.

"What're y-!" In an instant, Link found both of Sheik's hands all over the front of his tunic, yanking, twisting and wringing. He grabbed the man's hands. "What're you doing!"

"They're gonna think I'm losing my touch," Sheik said, his eyes full of mischievousness. Link's jaw dropped.

It fell even more as the thieving hands ripped the belt right off of his waist, jarring his body forward.

"Good gods! What the h-!"

"I'll see you later, Sir Link," Sheik sang devilishly, shoving the belt into Link's hands. Clutching it, he gaped, bewildered.

With a single finger on the young man's shoulder, the general uprooted him from his firm stance. He directed his guest to the exit. With one last push, Link came face to face with a door.

"Farewell, brave knight." In one sweeping motion, Sheik opened the door, expelled Link from the room and closed himself in his office.

In the dim hall, Link looked down, running his hands along his wrinkled clothing. He looked like he'd just partaken in a wrestling match. He felt his hair; it was even messier than his outfit. The end of his belt dangled in his face.

"Told you you didn't have to put that back on." Startled, Link looked to his left. One of the general's tall, burly guards looked down at him. "Hope it was good for you."

Ascending the many stairs that had led him to the general, Link hooked his bags to his belt and refastened the leather strap around his middle. To mollify himself, he silently counted to ten. Then he mouthed the sequence of numbers. After that, he recited them quietly. Then, he gutteralized them once, twice, three times, loud enough for his escort to hear. The man turned his head as Link worked to stop his anger from getting the better of him. He refused to rejoin his friend until he stopped feeling like a volcano on the verge of erupting.

"Ah…" Link sighed as he entered into the pleasant summer air. Breathing in, he noticed that the sun had descended a significant amount since he had gone inside. Based on what the general's noisy clock had said, it was early evening. Finally able to relax, he noticed a moderate tightening in his stomach. He wondered if dinner had been penciled in to tonight's tight schedule.

He followed the guard back the way that he had come, along the dirt path, and through a patch of trees. Emerging on the other side, Link saw a rather silly sight.

Standing in front of a small crowd of female soldiers was Pipit. Motioning his hands as if he was telling a fascinating story, he had them all enthralled. Chuckling and shaking his head, Link's umbrage began to dissipate. When Pipit performed a smooth back flip – and subsequently gained himself applause – Link really started laughing.

I can't take him anywhere, Link thought.

"Do you know where I'm supposed to be going next?" Link asked the guard in front of him.

"You'll have to ask the cadets who picked you up," the man said. Link nodded and smiled as he walked up to his friend.

"Giving these ladies the full complement of trumped up tales?" he whispered over Pipit's shoulder. Pipit tilted his head to look at him.

"They wanted to know if I'm really as acrobatic as I claim," he told him. "It was necessary."

"Ah, I see," Link said, glancing about the group. He inferred that his friend must have gathered up the ten most attractive young women on the base.

"Looks like you've been having a much better time than I," Link said softly.

"Well, I was 'til you stole my thunder. I was the best looking guy on base until you walked up."

"Oh, sorry," Link said. "It doesn't matter anyway, 'cause we're not staying." He looked around, noticing the many eyes that were watching him.

"You were gone for a long frickin' time," Pipit said, turning away from the girls. "What were you guys doing?"

"Nothing of consequence," Link sighed.

"Huh? We came all this way for 'nothing of consequence'?" His friend shrugged.

"I dunno. He asked me here, he asked me what he wanted to ask me, so…I don't know. It seemed pointless to me, but, whatever, I guess."

"Why's your hair look like that?" Pipit asked.

"He decided to style it for me," Link said sarcastically.

"Uuuh…"

"He also thought it was a good idea to screw up my clothes. I guess tidy knight's tunics rub him the wrong way, or something."

"He what? Geez, what's up with you attracting every sicko on the planet?"

"Good question."

"You sure that's all that happened?" Pipit whispered. "That guy's got one hell of a reputation. He wasn't like…doing you on his desk or anything, right?"

"Pipit, if he had reason to carve another notch into his desktop, I'd tell you."

"I dunno," Pipit said. "Keeping secrets seems to be your forte."

"Whatever, Pipit. I'm fine, okay?"

"Uh huh."

"So, where'd those soldiers go, anyway?" Link asked.

"The landing area, I guess," Pipit said. "They said they had to meet someone."

"Does it have to do with us?"

"Pretty sure. They left this guard here to babysit me." He pointed toward the oblivious solder. "Maybe he knows something."

"I doubt it," Link told him. "The other guy doesn't know anything, either."

"Well, maybe that huge guy coming toward us knows something," Pipit said, making a face. The two friends watched and waited as the man, who was six-foot-six and extremely muscular, moseyed up to them. The way in which the man's sleeves weren't being savagely ripped apart by his biceps defied physics. He looked down at the two knights.

"Link?" the soldier asked in the deepest voice either of them had ever heard. They looked at each other.

"Yes?" Link replied.

"Ibis," he said, offering a big, thick hand. Link politely took it. His hand disappeared into a mass of fingers.

"Ibis, huh?" Pipit asked, looking down and trying not to smirk. He stopped in place when he saw a look of impending doom on Link's face. "Good name," he finally said with a nod.

"Got a problem with my name?" the man asked, turning toward the knight in yellow.

"Um," Pipit began, "no. It's just that…" He was cut short by the sight of Link shaking his head and mouthing 'don't do it', but he promptly brushed him off. "It's just that you're as big as a house, and the bird you're named after is…" Link facepalmed. "…Really small…" Pipit gave a little smile. The giant soldier appeared to be grinding his teeth.

"So!" Link called, trying to diffuse the situation. Both of the much taller men looked at him. "Where are we off to?" Diverting the soldier's attention, he inched his way in front of Pipit. Ibis's glower eased along with his posture.

"My base," he told him.

"Where's that?" Link asked.

"Superna. One hour due north of here."

"An hour?" Link and Pipit both asked simultaneously.

"Yep."

"We're already an hour from home," Pipit mumbled.

"And you're about to be much further," the man stated.

"Apparently," Pipit replied.

"Is your general summoning me, as well?" Link asked.

"Yessir," Ibis answered, standing up straighter.

"Well, I think I know what I'll be doing this whole 'trip'," Link said, looking into the sky.

"Is the Supernan army general as much of a perv as this guy?" Pipit asked. The soldier looked slightly taken aback.

"I don't profess to know the general's…dealings," he said, blinking.

"Uh oh," Pipit murmured, looking at Link. "That's not a 'no'."

"Anyone is better than General Sheik," Link uttered. "I can handle it."

"We have to go," Ibis said, starting to turn. "I'm sure you know by now that generals are busy people." He set off for the landing area.

"Ladies," Pipit said to the fawning young women. He dipped at the waist and tipped his hat. Rolling his eyes, Link nodded courteously at them as he jerked Pipit away.

"Think we'll see them again?" Pipit asked, sneaking a peek behind him.

"Perhaps if fate smiles down on you, Pipit."

"Careful, your sarcasm is showing," Pipit quipped.

"Well, good timing, then."

"Hey, tiny!" Pipit called out. Ibis cocked his head. Link flinched. "Any idea if we'll be able to, you know, eat sometime soon?"

"All I know is that I have to get him to the general as fast as possible," the soldier said, sounding annoyed.

"Can we pick up something along the way?" Pipit inquired.

"Pipit…" Link grumbled.

"What? Aren't you starving too?"

"Well, yeah."

"What if they keep dragging us around from one place to another and never let us eat anything?"

"I'm sure they will. If nothing else, I'll ask about it when we get there."

"Besides that, it's gonna be dark soon," Pipit noted. "Unless they want us fumbling around in the dark with overexerted loftwings, they better let us take a break. I'm tired too. It's been days since I slept in an actual bed."

"I know," Link agreed, trying not to drag his feet. "And if you wanna make it to the next base alive, I suggest you quit talking to that guy."

"What? The bigger they are, the harder they fall. You know that."

"Is that any reason to egg on some enormous stranger? You need to shut your mouth."

"Whatever. We're never gonna see this guy after today, anyway." Link shook his head, making a mental note to not take Pipit too seriously.

…..

The flight from Fort Cielgrenier to the Supernan army base was a smooth one. The vermillion sun was beginning to plunge in the western sky, chased by noctilucent clouds. The moon and stars were dazzling. The breeze was cool and invigorating. An undertone of exhilaration hung in the air.

Islets, some big, some small, littered the skies. Just for fun, Link conjectured the location of the invisible borderline between Skyloft and Superna.

"A fortnight later…" Pipit complained.

"It's not that bad, Pip," Link encouraged. "Look on the bright side. At least you got your bird back." Pipit gave Hematite's head a pat.

"Very true," he concurred. "It just feels like we've been flying forever."

"Look at Superna," Link said in wonderment. "Doesn't it look amazing at night, all lit up?"

"That's a lot of lanterns and torches, alright," Pipit said with a nod.

"Way more lit up than Skyloft is."

"Superna's huge. Kind of like its residents…" Pipit pointed to Ibis. "I heard their base is a 'perfectionist camp'. Something they're known for. Should be interesting."

"We haven't been here since we were kids. I barely remember it."

"We haven't been this far from home since we left Ordon." Pipit sank into thought for a moment. "Hey…"

"What?" Link asked.

"Think we're gonna go to Azuria, at all?" Link paused.

"Uuuum, not sure. Maybe."

"If we do, you wanna visit our old town?" Staring blankly ahead, Link bit his lip.

"Oh, I dunno, perhaps," he said.

"Come on, it'd be fun. We can visit my old house, our old school-"

"Let's not make hotel reservations 'til we know we're actually gonna visit, okay?" Link lifted an eyebrow. "And besides that, we haven't been back there since we left. It's been years. Seems sort of awkward to me…And I dunno if…"

"I wonder if some of the same people still live there," Pipit thought aloud, ignoring Link's concerns.

"Oh, probably," Link said quietly.

"Fort Céleste is about a ten minute flight past Main Island!" Ibis hollered over his shoulders. "Almost there!"

"At least Peewee is nicer than those other two jerks," Pipit said.

By the time the three loftwings descended, the sun had slipped fully away. But, its remnants draped the sky in twilight.

The ambiance of the Supernan base was so far from that of Fort Cielgrenier that Link suspected he'd entered a different hemisphere. The people here were actually friendly.

Led through the grounds by a cordial escort, the young men were given a small tour, learning about several historical landmarks. Observing statues and relics behind thick glass, Link soaked up the information. For Pipit, however, it was in one ear and out the other.

For the first time in a while, Link grinned a genuine grin, excited to be experiencing this veritable outdoor museum. He almost felt like he was on vacation, exploring somewhere new. He looked over at Pipit; his one-track mind was undoubtedly hung up on the subject of food.

The grandeur of the building that they were guided through was unrivaled by anything on Skyloft's Main Island. Modeled after a legendary stone castle that was recorded in the sacred texts, it was colossal, complete with a heavy iron portcullis at the front entrance. Link marveled at the fanciful wall tapestries while Pipit complained about his rumbling stomach.

Several long hallways and extensive staircases later, the young men arrived at the general's office. General Ornis was older, with grey-speckled hair and a kind disposition; surprisingly so, considering his position as leader of an army known for its discipline. Preceding their discussion, he seated the young men comfortably. Pipit, however, was placed in an adjacent room. Following protocol, the general opted to speak with Link alone.

The conversation was quick, to the point, and surrogated no ulterior motives or uncomfortable innuendo. The general, unlike Sheik, seemed legitimately interested in learning about the demon realm, and, most importantly, the demon lord. Having tensely anticipated the question regarding intimacy with the enemy, Link was greatly relieved to be dismissed prior to being asked.

The base was a friendly place, but modus operandi still ruled. One of the general's armed guards was ordered to usher the two knights back to the landing area. Vastly pleased with the general's conduct, Link didn't mind. He stepped closer to Pipit's side as they followed the tall soldier. His unwrinkled, dark blue uniform spoke of the perfectionism that Pipit had mentioned earlier.

"So, what's next?" Pipit asked, his tongue nearly hanging from his mouth. "Another hour-long flight to some distant land? I'm dying, here."

"Nope," Link said, smiling.

"What, then?"

"I think you'll be pretty happy with our next stop."

"Yeah? What is it?" Pulling something from his bag, Link hacky sacked it off of his heel and sent it flying over Pipit's head. With a surprised hop, Pipit caught it in his hands. "What's this?"

"Our travel time pay," Link informed him. Pipit checked out the bag's contents.

"Whoa…" he reveled. "The Supernan army sure knows how to treat its guests."

"I think they're grateful for the information," Link guessed.

"So…what's this for, exactly?"

"Well, we have a room reserved for us at a place called Crown Plaza-"

"That awesome hotel in the heart of the city? No way…" Pipit said.

"Yup. It's already paid for, too. This money's just extra, for food and whatnot."

"This is the greatest thing ever," Pipit proclaimed.

"Glad you came?" Link asked.

"Very."

Listening to Pipit voice his eternal gratitude for the short distance between the army base and Superna's Main Island, Link followed the soldier on his honey colored loftwing, admiring from afar the incredible cityscape.

"Gods…" Pipit breathed. "I can't wait to get down there. So much goodness awaits." Link gave him a leery glance.

"Pipit, please don't forget that we're sharing a room tonight…please?"

"Yeah, yeah," Pipit said, waving his hand. Link mumbled something under his breath.

"Keep close," the soldier beside them said. "You all know the rules on night landing, I'm sure."

"Yessir, we do!" Pipit said, completely enthused. Link grumbled again.

The landing area was quite large, but very empty due to the time of day. A night guard greeted the group of three with a smile.

"Ah, you must be Link," the man said. Link took a moment to compare the knight's blue tunic with the soldier's uniform. It was pristine, of course. He gave himself the once over, disappointed by his appearance.

"Yeah, hi," Link said, taking part in about the hundredth handshake that day.

"Have a good flight?" the raven haired knight asked. Link nodded. "Well, I'm sure you guys are eager to get to your room. If you follow the field all the way to the bottom, there's a path through a little grove. Once you get past that, you'll come to a small dirt road. Take a left and follow that 'til you get to the edge of town. You can't miss it. There'll be signs for the Crown Plaza everywhere." He gave the young men a little grin. "Enjoy yourselves, fellas. This place is a lot livelier than Skyloft." This statement only made Pipit's eyes shine even brighter.

As the two friends set off, Link expected Pipit to start laughing maniacally and rubbing his hands together.

"Oh, sweet debauchery," Pipit said to himself.

"No. No debauchery, Pipit," Link reproofed. "We did not come here for debauchery."

"I don't mean the bad sort of debauchery," Pipit said, trying not to trip over something in the dark.

"Pip, there's only one kind of debauchery with you. And I swear to the Goddess…"

"Loosen up, man," Pipit said. "I'm not planning on doing anything I wouldn't normally do."

"Oh, well, that's a relief," Link snapped.

"Look, we're two single guys in a brand new city. There's nothing holding us back. This is a golden opportunity if I ever saw one."

"Correction. One of us is single. Not two. Last I checked you were still with Karane."

"You know we're not official," Pipit said.

"But she doesn't, Pipit! That's the point! If all you're gonna do is run around on her, then-"

"I'm planning on breaking up with her. It's bound to happen, anyway…"

"Well, finally."

"I just didn't get the chance to talk to her yet. We left so fast."

"Just try and make it as painless as possible for her, okay?" Link asked.

"Dude, there's no painless with Karane. You know that."

"Yeah, especially when you mention Zelda to her…" Link peered at him out of the corner of his eye. Pipit's pace slowed a little bit.

"Hey, now…" he said. "Don't be presumptuous."

"I call it like I see it, Pipit."

"Who said I'm gonna get with Zelda? I didn't." Link just shrugged. "Look, we got plenty of time later tonight to talk dismal. That's not the aura I want around me when we hit the town tonight, know what I mean? Let's ditch the dreary and embrace the awesome."

"Who said we?" Link asked. "What if I just wanna eat, take a bath and go to sleep? If there's any town-hitting, it might not involve me."

"Nonsense, my friend," Pipit said as they rounded a bend and stepped onto the dirt road. "You're coming with me."

The road was dim and quiet, but a hum could be heard, and a vibration could be felt. So much so that Link knelt down and placed a hand on the road, feeling the city's heartbeat. He looked at the ground, mesmerized, until he realized that Pipit had left him in the dust.

After turning a few corners and leaving the empty hinterlands behind, the two friends learned that the night guard had been right: there really was no missing it.

Huge, elongated iron lamps, aglow with orange flames ran along the roads. The sight reminded Link of the town of Acheron. The memory jabbed him in the stomach. He brought his hands to his mouth, sensing the faint presence of the demon.

"You okay?" Pipit asked, watching him. "Pssh, in a place like this, how can you not be?" With his attention stolen, he looked in front of them. "Check it out…"

Connected to the bottom of the dirt road was the very essence of nightlife. Swarms of people flooded the street. Pipit latched onto Link's arm, urging him to go faster.

"Geez, Pipit, chill out. We'll get there." He got no response as his friend dragged him along.

Stepping out into the busy street, the pair was instantaneously swept up by the flow of the crowd. Two lanes of foot traffic prescribed the walkway: one side ran up, while the other ran down.

"We're blending in pretty nicely," Pipit said, eyeballing every good looking woman who passed by. "Look at all the gorgeous ladies in uniform. Gods, I love that…"

"Calm down, Pipit," Link said. "We just got here." He sighed, determined to ride herd on his misbehaved friend.

"Exactly."

Building after building slid past them as they marched. Some structures were huge, while others were modest, providing the city with a unique skyline. The young men took in every sight, and looked through every window. From each shop, eatery and bar, groups of people came and went.

Link examined the assemblages as they sat on benches, stood in circles and conversed within the buildings. While most wore civilian clothes, many donned knight's tunics, army uniforms and fatigues. The tunics were similar to Skyloft's, but the hues were different. The cut was different, including the collar and trim. Each state certainly had a distinguishable style.

"I don't hear you complaining anymore," Link pointed out.

"How could I complain here?" Pipit asked as he gave a small wave to a young lady who had been admiring him from afar.

"Look, a sign for Crown Plaza," Link said, pointing. "A quarter-mile down that road."

"Nice," Pipit said, half paying attention.

With the contained flames lighting their path through a grid of roads, the two knights weaved through the throng. A quarter of a mile proved to be quite the travail in a thick crowd.

"That's gotta be it!" Pipit called out. An oversized stone building towered over everything in the vicinity. "There seems to be a castle theme going on in this state. Certainly has a novel feel to it."

"Yeah, I know two girls in particular who would appreciate it here," Link said.

"Yeah?"

"Zelda's favorite place to eat back home in the village is modeled after a castle. I think she likes it just 'cause of that. I took Midna there on a date, too."

"That Chateau place, you mean?" Pipit asked.

"Mmmhmm."

"Well, this place blows that one out of the water." Stepping away from the stream of people, Pipit pushed the heavy wooden door of the hotel inward. "Ladies first," he said with an amorous look.

"Thanks…" Link replied.

The building's interior was enough to make the young men's eyes bug out. Every detail was perfect, from the huge stained-glass windows high up on the walls, to the tapestries, to the luxurious, vibrant rugs on the floor. Looking up, they saw a multitier crystalline chandelier. It trumped the one hanging in the Lumpy Pumpkin so effortlessly that it wasn't even funny.

Link couldn't believe how closely the room resembled the splendor of the main halls in each of the two noteworthy places he'd visited in the demon realm: Azrael Manor, and…Ghirahim's residence. Link made an acidic face.

"And this is only the lobby!" Pipit said excitedly. "Come on, let's go find our room!"

"That would include walking to the front desk and asking for our keys," Link reminded him.

"Well, duh, that's what I mean." Brushing past the other guests, they met with the receptionist. She sat behind a large, polished desk, adorned with wildflowers and tucked against the wall near the entrance.

"Evening," she greeted in an overly congenial voice which failed to match her dull expression. "Do you have a reservation?" She looked the two of them over.

"Yeah, someone made it for us, actually," Link informed her. Studying his green tunic, the lady pushed an auburn curl away from her reading glasses.

"Oh, yes," she said, looking down. "I know who you are." Sifting through a pile of papers, she located the necessary information. As she read through it, Pipit and Link looked at each other. "Okay, here we are. One night. Room five-fifteen. Tenth floor, right side of the building. Here's your keys." They landed in Link's hand with a clink. "If you take that big staircase up to the mezzanine…" The friends followed the woman's gaze, spotting the huge set of stairs at the end of the room. "…then just take a right at the top. The doorway on the right-hand wall leads to the stairwell." After observing what the receptionist had described, Link turned back.

"Great, thank you," he said.

"Do you need any bags carried up?" she asked. Link looked at his empty hands.

"Oh, no, actually," he said.

"Don't you have a change of clothes?" she asked, surprised. Link rubbed the back of his neck.

"Oh, well…" he started.

"Oh, it doesn't matter," she said with a grin. "When you get to your room, just leave your clothes outside. The maid will have them washed and dried within an hour." Link looked at Pipit, contemplating the prospect of standing around naked while they waited.

"Ooooookaaaay," Link said. "Thanks…" The pair stepped away.

"Oh!" the woman called, holding her finger up. Link glanced over his shoulder. "I was supposed to give you this note with your keys. Here." She held out a small envelope.

"Oh, thanks," Link told her. He rushed to catch up with Pipit.

"Ready to tackle ten flights of stairs?" Pipit asked.

"That's nothing," Link said. After reaching the mezzanine that overlooked the ground floor, they entered through the doorway on the right.

"Even the stairwells in this place are fancy," Pipit said with a little laugh. "I think these handrails are made of gold, or something."

"Imagine what the room's gonna look like," Link said.

"So, like…we have to wait for the laundry lady to wash our stuff?"

"If we want to be clean tonight. We're filthy, after all. We must look pretty bad if the receptionist is pointing it out…"

"But I'm starving, I wanna go out right away…" Pipit grumbled as he climbed.

"Room service," Link suggested.

"Nah, I wanted to go out."

"Then wait and don't complain."

Reaching the tenth floor, they gazed upward at the coiled, endless stairwell.

"How many floors do you think this place has?" Pipit asked, stepping into the hall. His feet hit a soft, crimson carpet.

"Who knows?" Link tossed a key to his friend. "Come on, room five-fifteen. Let's find it."

"Well, there's five-oh-one, two, three…"

"There it is," Link said, standing in front of the door. He turned the key and pushed.

"Holy crap!" Pipit shouted, nearly mowing his friend over. "This place is freakin' huge! Shit!"

"Pipit, geez," Link said. "I'm sure we have neighbors." Looking around, however, Link had to agree with his friend. The place was big; much bigger than any room he had ever stayed in. Next to the door was the bathroom. Large and lavish, it housed a two-person bathtub and wash basin.

"Hey, we can take a bath together!" Pipit said with a happy shrug.

"Uh huh," Link said. Stepping further in, he spotted a king-sized bed on the left, several sofas and tables lining the walls, and a doorway leading to a balcony. Paintings, lanterns, and flowers, flowers and more flowers were everywhere. One needed only to take a single step to smell a different fragrance.

"Good thing we're not allergic," Link mumbled. He turned his head and sniffed a white rose. It reminded him of Midna.

"Hey, I found your room!" Pipit called. Link followed his friend's voice down a short hallway. At the end was a separate bedroom. It was smaller than the main one, but just as fancy.

"Oh, I get the smaller one, huh?" Link asked, surveying the layout.

"You're a smaller guy. Makes sense," Pipit said.

"Whatever, I guess." They made their way back toward the entrance.

"This is gonna be the greatest bath I've ever taken in my entire life," Pipit said, whipping his clothes off. Link just stood there.

"Modesty is good, Pipit," he said, getting quite the eyeful.

"Think fast!" Pipit yelled. A balled up heap of dirty laundry hit Link in the face. "Leave yours outside, too. I wanna get out of here as soon as physically possible."

"Yeah," Link replied, but Pipit had already disappeared into the bathroom. "Hey, at least give me a towel!" A hand appeared through the doorway and dropped a face cloth. "Um, noooo," Link said. A hand towel immediately followed. "Pipit! Come on!" Finally, a proper towel was tossed out. "Thanks."

Making like his companion, Link removed every last bit of clothing. Being naked never felt so good. He wrapped the starkly white towel around his waist before separating his and Pipit's chainmail from their linen shirts.

"'Rusty mail is shame in the form of twenty-four-thousand small metal rings'," Link recited, doing his best impression of his old equipment maintenance instructor.

"Dude, I've never peed in such luxury!"

"That's nice, Pipit," Link said flatly. Throwing two sets of chainmail, boots, pouches and belts into the corner, he placed their tunics, pants, shirts, undergarments and socks – as well as one knight's cap - into the basket by the door. He assumed that was its purpose, anyway. In a few seconds, the clothing was sitting in the hallway.

"I feel bad for the person who has to wash that," Link said, grimacing. "Especially mine. It's got…demon and Sheik all over it." He proceeded to shuffle to the opposite side of the room and fell face first onto the bed. Exhausted, he managed to stay awake for a few short minutes before slipping into a dream.

Naturally, he dreamed about the fiasco that was sure to become their evening.